I am midwife to a global pandemic. I’m the mother of a monster. It’s a pandemic that has infected all 3.2 billion gamers on the planet. A monster that has devoured £125 billion of our cash this year. A demon that corrupts and degrades the very language we speak, replacing it with grunts, barks, piffle, and banality. I’m talking about voice acting in games, and I was the idiot who did it first. I do not seek your forgiveness, but it’s the season of goodwill, so let me tell you how it happened.
Sometime in the 1960s, Cilla Black inspired me to make a computer beep I Can Sing A Rainbow in sync to coloured lights. I was on a student grant at the time, which is all you need…
