Working Mother June/July 2019

“We dipped into savings. I feel privileged we had savings into which to dip.” When my husband, Paul, unexpectedly lost his job this past December (Merry Christmas!), he and I had to figure out how to survive on my paycheck alone. No more ordering in or having cleaners de-disgust our house, obviously. But those cuts wouldn’t be nearly enough to keep our family of four afloat in the New York City suburbs. Should we pull our 4-year-old out of preschool? we wondered. We don’t have public pre-K where we live, so we pay—handsomely—for full-day care for Jeremy. It didn’t make sense, though; he was mere months away from starting kindergarten, and could greatly benefit from the prep. Should we take our infant out of daycare? That was a more logical…

Um, Happy Father’s Day? A lot of people like to ask me, “Ali, how on earth do you balance family and career?” Men never get asked that question. Because they don’t. My husband occasionally changes diapers, and when people hear that, confetti everywhere.—Ali Wong, comedian and mom of two “There is an unspoken pact that women are supposed to follow. I am supposed to act like I constantly feel guilty about being away from my kids. I don’t. I love my job.”—Amy Poehler, actress, comedian and mom of two BEING A WORKING MOM IS NOT EASY. YOU HAVE TO BE WIILING TO SCREW UP AT EVERY LEVEL.—Jami Gertz, actress and mom of three WIN! Rachel Marie Martin Nashville, Tennessee Author and mom of seven This is how my 11-year-old son…

“When a work opportunity conflicts with a planned family trip, ask yourself, ‘Five years from now, which decision will I remember making?’ and ‘Will passing on the work project have a direct impact on my career?’ Those simple yes or no questions can quickly alleviate guilt and motivate you to take the vacation you’ve worked for.”—Becky Frankiewicz, North America president of workforce solutions company ManpowerGroup “Set the example. If you aren’t using your paid time off, you are making it harder for other working mothers to do the same. We’re all responsible for creating a culture that values blending work and life.” “Change the way you view vacations. A day off doesn’t have to mean flying somewhere exotic. It can be spent at the local park, a museum, or yes,…

Women—especially multicultural women—have often been paid less for doing the same job as men. So how do you know if your company has equal-pay practices? In the best-case scenario, you work for an organization that has committed to equal pay and is transparent about their results. If that’s not the case, show your managers this article and ask them to start the conversation about pay equity. What’s Pay Equity? Even though the 1964 Civil Rights Act prohibits outright discrimination in pay, people are paid at different rates based on salaries when hired and raises/bonuses received. That tilts toward higher pay for white men. Most pay-equity efforts have centered on gender because it is easier to measure. While some countries, such as the United Kingdom and Iceland, are mandating companies disclose…

Wager (wewager.co) This startup matches you with another member of your industry to have one-on-one conversations about your current and past salaries. The first chat is free, but the company charges for pairing you with additional people, coaching on salary negotiation and analyzing offers. LinkedIn Salary (linkedin.com/salary) Explore pay for specific job titles broken down by location, education level, field of study, company size and more with LinkedIn Premium membership. That upgrade to the popular professional social networking platform starts at $30 a month, though it’s free for one year if you submit your own salary. Blind (teamblind.com/exclusive) Originating with big U.S. tech companies in 2015, this free app and website now includes info across several industries. Members can anonymously chat about salary and more with colleagues at the same…

Divulging pay details to anyone other than your partner or accountant is still controversial. But there can be big, long-term benefits, such as eliminating pay gaps between the genders and races, says Nichole Dryer, managing director and HR rep at marketing agency January Digital, in Dallas. Proceed with caution though, Dryer warns: Openness about pay can stir up jealousy or resentment between colleagues. Ellen Kossek, Ph.D., author of Women and Management, agrees with that part. The professor in the Krannert School of Management at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana, says employees should instead request that their employer “distribute information on criteria and pay levels for raises and starting salaries as regular and open communication each year so there is transparency.” Until that happens, if you’re cool with talking about…