YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE!
If you live with a teenager, chances are, you’ve heard those five words before. They’re hurtful, mean-spirited and goading, but are they accurate? Definitely – for some people. According to Terri Apter, a psychologist and author of Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power (R379, Takealot), all mothers have bad days with “a smattering of unreasonable demands, occasional neediness and a careless or vicious word”. She adds, “Certainly, mothers get angry, tired, fed up and frightened. That’s not unusual. It’s well within normal.” But then there are other mothers – about 20% of cases Apter has studied – who are so demanding, controlling or fuelled by anger, they literally hold their child hostage to their needs, whether that child is six or 60. Never really…