Sorry to start with a rant, but you know what I hate? AutoCorrect. Not spellcheck, you understand. That amends mistakes. No; for those who have yet to be acquainted with this meddlesome thing, it’s when computers think for you and change the words you type to what it thinks you mean. This would be fine, if the results weren’t so utterly peculiar. Thanks to AutoCorrect, I sent an email intended to contain sympathy but instead inexplicably referenced an ancient civilisation (when it changed ‘aww, poor you’ to ‘Byzantine, poor you’), implied intended murder (‘when are you expecting your parents?’ to ‘when are you executing your patients?’), not to mention the many instances of ‘I don’t’ changing into ‘idiot’, ‘Aonach’ to ‘earache’, ‘Scafell Pike’ to ‘Scarf ell puke’ (explain that one?),…