The Texas Observer February 2018

tl;dr On December 13, we published a satirical op-ed by pediatrician Rachel Pearson at texasobserver.org. Titled “As a Doctor, I’m Sick of All the Health Care Freeloaders,” the piece skewers the cruel stereotype that low-income patients are lazy and undeserving of basic care. “Most of my patients have never worked a day in their lives,” Rachel writes. “They just suck up low-cost health care, whining the whole time, and then go pick up their free government milk.” ¶ The piece ricocheted around the internet, quickly becoming one of our most-read stories ever. The sheer ferocity and volume of the feedback reminded us of the subversive power of satire. Many readers who got the joke drew favorable comparisons to one of the genre’s greatest hits, Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal.” A…

“This big, dumb Rube Goldberg machine of American health care is going to fail. And when it fails, it will be remade or replaced; we demand a federal, universal single-payer.” LEFT TURNS Medicare for Y’all TIMOTHY FAUST, A 29-YEAR-OLD SOCIALIST METALHEAD, isn’t your typical health care policy wonk. Sporting shoulder-length hair, a bandana and a Lone Star flag tattoo on his arm, Faust is neither a medical professional, a lawmaker nor an academic. But the Wisconsin native, who spent stretches in Houston and Austin, has made a name for himself in recent months touring the country promoting single-payer health care with an unusual mix of impassioned f-bombs and unrepentant eggheadedness. On a Friday evening in December, about 100 people packed into an Austin union hall to hear Faust speak at…

After a harsh cold front in January, marine scientists rescued a record number of green sea turtles along the Texas Gulf Coast. The creatures become immobilized and float helplessly to the surface when water temperatures dip below 50 degrees. At press time, 402 turtles had been rescued; the final tally is expected to top 1,000, according to the Houston Chronicle. “We are the ones that push these animals to the brink of extinction, so we have an obligation to at least step in and help try and restore their numbers,” biologist Ben Higgins told KHOU. Which of the following is not true of the green sea turtle? a. It can live more than 80 years b. It can weigh up to 700 pounds c. Its favorite food is crab d.…

THE TERM “Sanctuary State for Abortions” WHO’S USING IT Ken Paxton, anti-abortion advocates First there were “sanctuary cities,” the loosely defined notion on the right that some cities aren’t harsh enough toward undocumented immigrants. In January, California became a “sanctuary state” by limiting cooperation between law enforcement and immigration authorities. Now comes a new twist on the concept: “sanctuary state for abortions.” The phrase amalgamates two popular conservative bugaboos: illegal immigration and abortion rights. “Texas must not become a sanctuary state for abortions,” Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has said repeatedly in recent months. He’s referring to the Trump administration’s zealous blocking of abortion access for refugee teens in federal custody. When a court ruled that a 17-year-old detained in South Texas be allowed to get an abortion, Paxton said…

CHRIS SALCEDO TITLE/ORGANIZATION The Chris Salcedo Show THE CAUSE Exposing liberal bias in the media and purging the Texas GOP of moderates NOTABLE ACCOMPLISHMENT Got Mike Pence to tweet in all caps about an interview on his show ALLIES Dan Patrick, House Freedom Caucus, Empower Texans MONEY QUOTE “I don’t think Donald Trump went far enough. As a Latino American I want American citizens to be put first; all immigration should be halted until this government takes seriously the threat of illegal immigration.” CHRIS SALCEDO, A CONSER- vative talk radio host in Dallas, is a man of many neologisms. For five hours a day, Monday through Friday, the 47-year-old fills airwaves in Dallas and Houston with invective against “resident Obama,” the “basket of bias press” and “crony crapitalists.” Salcedo, who…

HERE’S HOW A TWO-PARTY SYSTEM WORKS, IN THEORY: ONE party wins office on the strength of its plans to fix problems, and its elected officials then use the power of government to partially implement policies. Over time, they start to lose momentum. More problems appear. Then candidates for the other party campaign with their own proposed fixes, and so on. That’s the ideal, of course, and it rarely works that way anywhere. ¶ But in Texas, there is no “other party.” What works poorly in other states doesn’t work here at all. The last winning Democratic gubernatorial campaign in Texas was taking shape 29 years ago this winter, when Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” topped commercial radio. Today, the Texas Democratic Party is a rump in the Legislature, and…