Innholdsfortegnelse for The Relationships Edition i The Goodnewspaper

In 2020, marriage rates in the United States reached a significant low — 5.1 per capita — likely due to event cancellations caused by COVID-19. But in 2022, reports showed that they rose back up, reaching 6.2 per capita. While rescheduling may have something to do with it, licensed marriage and family therapists told CNN there may be more to consider. Although the pandemic may have given couples a hurdle to overcome, it also forced many to be more intentional about things like finances, family planning, and personal needs. As people lay the groundwork for a more stable future together, it can also lead to more normalized therapy, flexible roles in a marriage, and more. “In my practice over the last decade, I've noticed a gradual shift from the 'romantic…

Last winter, a bride-to-be in San Jose, California called off her wedding two weeks before the big day after facing irreconcilable differences with her fiancé. As guests were informed and the wedding plans dissolved, she learned that $15,000 worth of event deposits were nonrefundable. With only days to spare, the bride and her family donated the venue and catering services to a local nonprofit, Parents Helping Parents, so that they could host an annual charity event for community members with disabilities. Maria Daane, the executive director of Parents Helping Parents, praised the gesture as “generous and thoughtful.” “I was incredibly touched that a bride, facing an extremely stressful and difficult situation, was willing to look past her own pain and consider how to use the significant financial deposit for the…

As neighbors in Deesa, India, Suresh Kothari and AG Shakir spent the first 13 years of their lives inseparable from each other. But in 1947, the British Empire retreated in the aftermath of World War II, resulting in the partition of India. In the chaos and violence of the partition, 1 million people were killed and 14 million more were displaced, including Shakir's family. Kothari returned home from school one day to find Shakir gone. After scouring their community for any news of his friend, he found and memorized Shakir's new address in Rawalpindi, Pakistan. As the years passed, their letters failed to reach each other as tensions rose between their two countries. It wasn't until 1982 that the two found each other again in New York, marking their first…

As many of us mature in the years following the COVID-19 pandemic, venture further down the rabbit hole of social media, or simply stick to our safe, insulated bubbles, it has become abundantly clear: It's really hard to make friends as an adult. We find ourselves entangled in the angst of showing up “right,” or adhering to some niche dinner party theme from Instagram, focusing our energy on meeting an elusive ideal instead of simply being ourselves and tending to the relationships we truly care about. Fortunately, things like gathering, communicating, and caring are forms of labor — and areas of study — that brilliant minds have dedicated their lives and careers to mastering. And they have plenty of resources, tools, and even conversation starters to make it all a…

We're Not Really Strangers is a conversation card deck created by a photojournalist inspired by the questions she'd encounter in the field. The original card set includes 150 questions and wild cards, arranged into three levels to guide a conversation with a stranger. werenotreallystrangers.com The “Let's Get Real Bro” card deck is designed for guys (but anyone can play!) Aiming to create space for men to talk about their feelings, the 90-question deck gamifies deep connections for ease and relaxation. Plus, every purchase gives $1 back to men's mental health! letsgetrealbro.com The “Dinner Parties”card deck from Rosewell is ideal for gatherings, helping to bring friends even closer. The deck of 50 questions poses discussions on on emotional, intellectual, and physical intimacy, while being approachable and engaging for all. byrosewell.com…

Have you ever found yourself completing your spouse's sentences, or adopting the quirky language and speech patterns of your partner? Well, your open and honest communication might be the culprit. A recent neuroimaging study from researchers in China had their romantic couple subjects — and pairs of strangers — play a simple card game while undergoing brain scans. The results showed that romantic partners achieved higher brain synchronization and used less deception to win the card game, compared to strangers. This suggests that couples may have a neuroscientific advantage in fostering honesty — and deeper brain connections. Interpersonal brain synchronization refers to the brain activity of two or more individuals becoming aligned during social interactions — which is what the brain scans observed in the participants of the study. Synchronization…

GOOD Read “The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy” by John and Julie Gottman. It shares direct action steps and insights to improve your most important relationships. BETTER Explore (and donate to!) For Better, a nonprofit created by certified relationship therapists to help more people access the (free) tools they need to create strong, lasting relationships. forbetter.us BEST Download the Gottman Card Decks app to explore your relationship and learn more about your partner. The cards prompt discussion on topics like listening, parenting roles, sex, connection, and more.…

DEMONSTRATE DISAGREEMENT Having healthy conversations around conflict and disagreements teaches young people vital conflict-resolution skills. Using “I” statements, like “I feel disrespected when you show up late” can go a long way. STAY ENGAGED Whether you're at the dinner table with the whole family or having a brief conversation, giving your full attention teaches kids to value one another — especially during the times that count most. ASK THEIR OPINION Children are people, too! Ask them what they think or how they feel about a situation to give them autonomy and teach them the skills they need to identify and process emotions.…

Since 2009, Chicago-based nonprofit Wish Upon a Wedding has provided nearly 300 ceremonies to couples facing a terminal illness or life-altering health circumstance. “When you're going through a tragedy, you just need someone to walk into your darkness and do something nice for you,” executive director Lacey Wicksall told People Magazine. “And that's what we're here to do — to just provide a respite in the middle of the storm.” Wish Upon a Wedding takes a community approach to every wedding request. The nonprofit allocates $2,000 for each wedding “wish,” working with local event planners, videographers, and caterers in the couple's hometown, who often discount their services or entirely donate their time. Last year, Georgia wedding planner Lydia Leek recalled a wedding she arranged for the nonprofit on behalf of…

“Conversations with the Hostess” hosted by Amy Long is the best party-planning companion you could have. Every week, Long — a wife, mom, Naval Officer, and party planner — joins professional event planners to help us all deepen relationships and celebrate all of life's moments. “The Mel Robbins Podcast” isn't just another hour of a psychologist with a microphone. Here, Robbins dives into big topics with foremost experts, covering things like dating, family dynamics, and all kinds of interpersonal conflict, so you can live a life you love, surrounded by people who love you. “Conversations with People Who Hate Me” hosted by Dylan Marron confronts our culture of anonymous online vitriol with connection and compassion. Whether speaking with a hate commenter or moderating a call between folks who clashed online,…

In 1998, award-winning photojournalist Sebastião Salgado and his wife, Lélia Deluiz Wanick Salgado, founded their nonprofit nature preserve, Instituto Terra. Over the course of 20 years, the pair was responsible for planting over 2.5 million trees. It all started when Salgado returned from an assignment covering the Rwandan genocide. He and Lélia inherited his father's cattle ranch, which was extremely degraded. “The land was as sick as I was — everything was destroyed,” Salgado said at a Paris climate change meeting in 2015, according to The Guardian. “Then my wife had a fabulous idea to replant this forest. And when we began to do that, then all the insects and birds and fish returned and, thanks to this increase of the trees I, too, was reborn — this was the…

When José Zambrano, Jennifer Rodriguez, and their 7-year-old son Lian fled Ecuador, they sought asylum in New York City with hope for a brighter, safer future. There, with a hotel roof over their heads and money trickling in from day gigs, Zambrano and Rodriguez could finally breathe easily enough to talk about getting married. That's when Rodriguez went to Little Shop of Kindness — a nonprofit that collects donated clothes for migrant families — to find a wedding dress. She had no idea she would walk away with a whole wedding. As she scanned through the racks, Rodriguez struck up a conversation with shop volunteer Val Coleman. “I told them that I was a licensed officiant and that I would be willing to do it for free,” Coleman told Documented,…

GOOD Every year, 12 million girls under 18 are forcibly married worldwide. Watch “12 Million Girls” to follow Michelle Obama, Melinda Gates, and Amal Clooney's campaign to end child marriage. youtube.com/@BBCAfrica BETTER Donate to VOW for Girls, a nonprofit striving to end the child marriage crisis by expanding education access for girls and funding women-led work programs in over 15 countries. Support them at give.vowforgirls.org. BEST Although child marriage is a global issue, the U.S. is not immune. Advocate for child protection laws by contacting your state representatives. stopchildmarriages.org shares resources and action steps to get started.…

GOOD Read “The Art of Showing Up” by Rachel Wilkerson Miller, a book on navigating adult friendships, taking action when your loved ones are in crisis, and practicing self-care so you can show up for others. BETTER Try Waffle, a free app where you and your friend can create a “shared” journal where you can write about your day, share life updates, and let each other know that you're okay. wafflejournal.com BEST Organize a “meal train” to drop off deliveries and home-cooked meals. No matter what somebody is going through — job loss, illness, grief, strife — everybody needs to eat. Visit mealtrain.com to get started.…

“The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters” by Priya Parker helps us understand why we gather. In analyzing things like effective business meetings to fun backyard barbecues, the book is part guide-part inquiry to help us all better come together for good. “Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections” by Anna Goldfarb blends years of reporting as the New York Times' “friendship correspondent,” social research, and practical tools to help us craft caring, curious, and supportive friendships — especially in the modern age. “How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen” by David Brooks has one goal: To help us be more understanding and considerate of each other. With neuroscientific insights, Brooks provides evidence-based advice for deeper…

In long-term partnerships and marriages, couples see each other change over the years in countless ways — from small mannerisms to career changes, and even in evolutions of gender and sexuality. Any sort of major life change may be the impetus to end a relationship, but for others, large life transformations can lead to the birth of an even deeper connection. “We've always just had this deep connection, so that's why, like, I never stopped loving him throughout any of this,” Marissa Lasoff-Santos told The Associated Press about her partner, who initially identified as a bisexual woman and has since transitioned to be a queer man. “I've become more attracted to him,” she added. “I guess part of it is just, like, that confidence in him, and like, he just…

Recently, while taking the toddler I babysit to swim class, I saw a boy struggling to get into the pool. Tears streamed down his face as his father knelt beside him, coaching him through it. Later, I saw the same boy walking out, smiling. He looked around and said, “This … is not the worst. This is the life.” Like a revelation, he repeated it louder, arms raised triumphantly with a supportive parent's hand on his back. “This is not the worst! This is the life!” In my own parent-child relationship, I was the soother of my father's frustrations. As I got older and my parents separated, I slowly phased out of that role for my own safety. With nothing — and no one — to soothe him, he got…

Irish Poet William Butler Yeats once wrote: “There are no strangers here, only friends you haven't met yet.” The quote is often ascribed to the warm atmosphere of an Irish pub, but it also applies to the world at large. Here are three stories of strangers who became fast friends over long walks, NICU notes, and impromptu breakfasts — and helped each other move forward through troubled times. 81-Year-Old Widow Finds New Friends Halfway Around The World When Trudy Veenstar's husband Auke passed away in April 2023, she didn't just lose a life partner, she lost her travel buddy. It wasn't until nearly a year later, Veenstar booked her first solo trip: a two-and-a-half-week trip to Kenya. “As much as I missed including my husband in the planning, I am…

When Casey McIntyre was diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer in 2019, her doctors gave her a 10-15% forecast that she'd live longer than five years. When she died in November of 2023, her husband, Andrew Rose Gregory, posted on social media on her behalf, sharing a letter she had penned in her final months. “To celebrate my life, I've arranged to buy up others' medical debt and then destroy the debt,” she wrote. “I am so lucky to have access to the best medical care at [Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center] and am keenly aware that so many in our country don't have access to good care.” Setting up a fundraiser with Undue Medical Debt (formerly RIP Medical Debt), Andrew created a fund in Casey's name: The Casey McIntyre…