Brothers and sisters, what if I reveal that surfboard shapers are evil creatures seeking to keep the whole of humanity locked into an embarrassing mediocrity, so they can go to surfboard-shaper conferences or hang out in surfboard-shaper bars to mock—and laugh and laugh more until tears come into their eyes and wash the foam dust off their cheeks—about our poor skill? Like our hunchbacked rail bogging, slow top turns, non-existent bottom turns, and fantastically bad lines.
Oh, I am joking, and I know that my jokes are not brilliant, but one can take everything as a joke. I am, perhaps, jesting against the grain. But in truth, I am tormented by questions: answer them for me. Surfboard know-it-alls, those who know all about litres, rocker, concave, etc., want to cure…