Innholdsfortegnelse for April 2025 i Psychologies

Session Two I had thought a lot about Summer* since our first coaching session. Summer was a responsible and thoughtful young woman. She had sought coaching to improve her relationship with her mother. Summer considered her ‘ageing hippy’ mother to be irresponsible, selfish and a general embarrassment. She had spent her life longing for a ‘conventional’ mum. When she arrived for her second coaching session, I sensed there was something different about Summer. She was dressed casually, wearing her hair down, smiling more and … could I detect the scent of patchouli oil? ‘What has been happening since our last session?’ I asked. Summer could hardly contain herself. ‘So much! I have been reading the books you recommended and have learned a lot about relationships and acceptance of individuality. I…

One of the things that makes life so challenging for many people is that they are walking around with an inherited set of beliefs that don’t make them any healthier, happier, or more connected to themselves and others. These four practices will help you become more attuned to the real you — the eternal you who existed way before your mind and heart were taken over by limiting beliefs and ideas about who you are and how reality operates. As you get into a rhythm with them, you’ll gain a greater sense of clarity that helps you connect to your highest needs, and the beliefs that support you to tap into your full potential. I recommend going all in with these practices at first, maybe even doing them repeatedly throughout…

“For a long time, until quite recently, I told myself I am enough, and for a long time I believed it. But in a therapy session the other day I told my therapist I’m tired of believing I’m enough. That phrase no longer sustains me. That’s not to say that those three little words haven’t held power for me in recent years. They’ve helped me to realise I can manage on my own. On the days when I feel small and low, reminding myself that I am enough helps me to remember I’m not lacking. When I race around trying to meet the needs of my four children, desperately stretched and running on reserves of energy I didn’t know existed, I am enough becomes a mantra I repeat over and…

As a therapist working with children and young people, authenticity is at the heart of everything I do. I want my clients to feel safe, to see me as real, and to know that they can show up just as they are. Part of this commitment to authenticity is a decision I made years ago: I don’t wear makeup to work — or most days, for that matter. But it wasn’t always this way. Let me take you back to when I was 12 years old. That’s when it all started — my love affair with makeup. Except, it wasn’t really about love; it was about survival. Makeup became my armour, my way of feeling ‘enough.’ I learned how to apply my makeup — mostly through trial and error and…

Rise and shine! Life really does seem better in the morning, with a study finding people generally wake in the best frame of mind. UCL experts tracked the mental health wellbeing of 49,000 people over 24-hour periods across two years, discovering that we feel our worst around midnight. The day of the week and the season also play a part. Ratings for happiness, life satisfaction and feeling worthwhile were all slightly higher on Mondays and Fridays than on Sundays, and happiness was higher on Tuesdays. 43 is the age we starting turning into our parents, according to a survey by M&S Money, with 36% citing complaining about the weather as the top sign. No more empty nesters... It’s not just adult kids checking into the Hotel of Mum and Dad…

Before the advent of electricity and modern technology, it was nature that set the pace of the lives of our ancestors. Winter, for example was a season to slow down, conserve energy, and survive. The seasons no longer dictate the rhythm of our lives in the same way they once did, but there is no denying the influence that each one brings. New life explodes around us at this time of year with every branch bursting into tufts of pink and white, where verdant shoots spear through the soil before trumpet-headed daffodils herald the end of the land’s slumber. Springtime, therefore, provokes an undeniable impulse to refresh, which is why, a few years ago when the sunlight crept earlier into the mornings and languidly sprawled into the evenings like a…

So, why have we hired you for this? What qualifies you to come and speak at our conference?’ he asked. On the face of it, these are perfectly reasonable questions. This person doesn’t know me, has never heard me present and clearly hasn’t given my speaker bio even a cursory glance. Yet, even as I tell myself that it is a reasonable query, I can feel my smile tighten. I have to work hard to keep my shoulders away from my ears as I feel my hackles rise. What is going on here? Why am I feeling so defensive? Perhaps it’s the tone. Perhaps it’s the bluntness that’s bordering on rudeness. Perhaps it’s the fact that this is my third briefing call with the client and everything had been finalised,…

If you have a home that runs like clockwork, your cleaning schedule is non-negotiable and your laundry is up to date every weekend, it can be hard to understand how other people in your life, whether that be within your close network or a colleague at work can operate effectively in what seems to be a constant state of messiness and chaos. And all that clutter — why can’t they just get rid of it? You see, in life, there are people at one side of the spectrum who pride themselves on having a clutter-free home, people at the opposite end of the spectrum who pride themselves on not bowing down to societal norms of what tidy looks like and then, there are an abundance of people in the middle…

"Each month in this column, I share journal prompts and writing exercises designed to help you navigate life’s challenges, spark self-reflection, and deepen your connection with yourself. If you’ve ever stared at a blank page, unsure where to begin, prompts can provide a powerful starting point, helping you uncover fresh perspectives, shift your mindset, and work through difficult emotions. This month, I want to introduce you to two simple but transformative journalling techniques: The Miracle Question and What If prompts. These approaches are especially helpful when you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in negative thought loops. A 2023 UK Mental Health report estimated that 60 percent of UK adults experienced anxiety that interfered with their daily lives. And 30 percent of adults are not coping well with the anxiety they…

It’s not an easy thing to admit, but between covid lockdowns, the beautiful fever dream of early motherhood and a prolonged spell of mental ill health, I’ve started to feel that somewhere in the last few years I might have dropped my mojo down the back of the sofa. Don’t get me wrong: a temporarily misplaced groove is a small price to pay for taking the time and space to look after my health. And I wouldn’t change the intensity of falling in love with my baby and learning to become a mum for anything in the world. But I do sometimes feel I’ve retired a bit from the ‘world facing’ parts of my personality — and as I tick over into my forties, there’s some hormonal low self-esteem also…

Sometimes our energy levels really are low at this time of year, but is there perhaps a little bit more at play here? Heather Darwall-Smith believes there is. ‘Oh my goodness, don’t we all try and squeeze a lot into 24 hours?’ she laughs. ‘So often, we’re running around thinking “I must finish everything today!” But it’s much better for us to take a realistic approach to what I’ve got to get done. ‘There are only 24 hours in a day. If we’re just mindlessly dashing through the day, thinking we can do all this stuff, and then when you get to the end of the day you’re exhausted because you’ve not managed it, there’s a tendency to feel “I’m on this treadmill, I can never get done.” ‘Sometimes, instead,…

Look a certain way, be a certain weight, have ‘pilates arms’, use filters, full makeup... the list goes on. Today, especially now we live in a social-media-dominated age, it’s easy for us to start lacking confidence in who we are and how we look. A 2021 study found that a massive 85% of women do not consider themselves to be attractive, and in a separate study, only one in five women feel confident in their appearance. However, here coach and author Tiwalola Adebayo shares some tips to boost your confidence in yourself and help you to love yourself inside and out. Realise how powerful your body is Adebayo, who struggled with body confidence herself when she was younger due to seeking external validation from others, says the first step to…