Innholdsfortegnelse for February 2025 i Psychologies

Do you ever feel like you have the right words in your mind, but they get lost in translation when you start speaking? Maybe you’ve walked out of a meeting wishing you’d been more assertive, or you’ve felt anxious about presenting your ideas in the first place. You’re not alone — communicating with confidence is a skill many of us desire but struggle to master. The good news is that confidence isn’t something we’re born with; it’s something we can build, step by step. To uncover what it takes to communicate confidently, we spoke with life coach Chantal Dempsey about the nature of confidence, why so many of us wrestle with self-doubt, and how we can create lasting change in the way we think about ourselves and communicate with others.…

The promise of spring always boosts my energy. As the days stay lighter a little longer, I’m drawn to early morning walks and to clearing the clutter that’s built up in my home and mind during the winter months. Spring feels like a natural time to take stock, to shed what no longer serves us, and to focus on where we’re heading. This seasonal shift makes it the perfect time to introduce a powerful journaling tool: The Wheel of Life. Originating from the Buddhist Bhavacakra, which represents the cycles of life, death, and rebirth, the Wheel of Life as we know it today was adapted by Paul J Meyer as a self-assessment tool. It offers a visual snapshot of your life, revealing where you’re thriving, where you’re stuck, and what…

It’s that time of year, when everyone’s battling a bug, recovering from one, or stocking up on vitamins to try to dodge the next round. It’s all too easy to focus on the negative, feel a little down and think ‘I’m bound to get ill.’ But stop. Could the very act of worrying about it actually increase your likelihood of becoming unwell? What about the reverse — can your thoughts and emotions help you fight illness and recover? Or even help your immune system to protect you in the first place? It might sound fanciful, but there is more to the idea than you might think, says Dr Monty Lyman, an expert in immunopsychiatry and author of The Immune Mind (Torva, £22). ‘The last decade has witnessed a revolution in…

She’s best known for helping couples look for a dream home to live in an idyllic location — but Laura Hamilton says that marriage isn’t always the best option. The TV presenter and property expert announced her split from the father of their two children, Alex Goward, after 13 years together in 2022. ‘If two people can’t make it, [can’t] be together, then it’s the best for everyone,’ says the 42-year-old. ‘I’m a very strong, independent woman and I have been my entire life. ‘So, I was like, I don’t need a relationship, I just want to be on my own. And it’s better for everyone that way.’ The TV presenter and property expert has been part of the line-up of Channel 4’s A Place in the Sun for 12…

When she began writing her new book, Open When, created to help readers when they are in the thick of life’s challenges, Dr Julie Smith never guessed she would soon be taking her own advice as she faced a crisis herself. The psychologist and star of TikTok and Instagram was riding high — her first book, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?, spent more than 100 weeks in the bestseller lists, and was placed number 49 in the Sunday Times Top 100 Bestsellers of the past 50 years. ‘The first book took on a life of its own, really,’ she says. ‘When it got into the Sunday Times bestseller list, my husband invited a few friends over for a small gathering to celebrate, and it was so nice for…

Why is the most sensible course of action often the most difficult? When we’re totally consumed by a problem, frequently the healthiest thing to do is to step away, give ourselves space, and then return to the situation with a fresh perspective. Yet disentangling ourselves from an emotive issue can feel impossible: we feel too far down the hole to climb out, so instead we ruminate. But, according to experts, moving to a different physical or emotional landscape is key in helping us harness the power of perspective. This step back can be as a simple as finding a change of scenery, or chatting an issue over with friends who are a step removed from the matter. We return to the situation with a calmer outlook and with more rational…

It is a fact universally acknowledged that family members will manage to find a way to overstep the mark. Siblings, for example, can always be relied upon to flagrantly breach boundaries. I say this as a sibling myself, who, while growing up, was guilty of ‘borrowing’ my brother’s sweatshirt without asking and taking another brother’s CD player to university without telling him. I also remember arriving home from school on more than one occasion to find my plate of food eaten by said brother. Whether it be turning up unannounced, making negative comments about our physical appearance at the meal table, or providing unsolicited parenting advice, when it comes to family, Joseph Campbell’s notion of a boundary being a sacred golden circle can feel like a mere whisper of an…

I spend a lot of my time trying to create certainty for my children, who can find change stressful. Parenting kids who need familiarity can be very challenging — the planning and thinking ahead means I exist in a near-constant state of hyper vigilance. I’ve written before about my restless nature and how I struggle to manage my itchy feet as a full time carer — it goes against my own wild and meandering mind. Last year I was lucky enough to gaze up at Italian frescoes and bathe in Provencal sunshine. I lost myself in hilltop villages and shadowy cloisters: every glimpse I caught of myself in a window or mirror felt like an opportunity for reinvention. The possibilities for what I could do or who I might become…

Are we all ghosting the dating apps? Numbers of people using dating apps are declining for the first time. Ofcom figures show Tinder, Hinge and Bumble have all lost UK users, with Tinder being the worst hit, with 600,000 breaking up with the app. Match Group — which owns the platform, along with Hinge, Plenty of Fish and OkCupid — is cutting staff and facing a lawsuit in the US, which claims its products are designed to get users addicted and generate profit, not to help them find a relationship. The company said Gen Z was seeking ‘a lower pressure, more authentic way to find connections’. New location = new memory Events with deep emotional resonance or that occur in a new place are more likely to be memorable. Psychologists…

Everybody feels stressed sometimes, it’s a completely normal — some would even say vital — part of being human. The adrenaline that comes with it is what helps power you through a job interview; sharpens your focus when you’re dealing with a tricky task; and helps you spot and navigate potentially dangerous situations quickly. Take away ‘flight or fight or freeze’ mode — your body’s natural response to stressful events — and things can unravel when you least need them to. That said, too much stress can be a danger in itself. If you don’t know how to manage it, you can end up feeling anxious and upset, sick and dizzy, and lacking in confidence. Long-term unchecked stress can leave you burnt out, overwhelmed and physically and mentally exhausted. As…

A betrayal. A broken promise. A broken heart. Infidelity is among one of the most painful ways in which a boundary can be crossed, when the trust that enables a couple to be vulnerable with one another becomes shattered. However, in a changing landscape there are also moments when a boundary isn’t clear and we do not even realise we have crossed it until we have already done so. For example, what exactly counts as cheating? Having sex? That’s probably pretty clear for most of us. But what about kissing? And what about those special chats with a work colleague? Or an ex? Where does emotional cheating begin? Where do you draw the line? The reality is it varies for each of us, and it may even change over time.…

As January and February roll round and we’re all still counting the cost of the festive season, it’s normal to be tightening our belts a little, and perhaps having discussions with our loved ones about how we might save a little here and there. But some women are given no choice in the matter: almost one in seven women interviewed in a new study said they had recently experienced controlling, coercive behaviour around money from a current or former partner. This economic abuse often overlaps with other forms of domestic abuse, such as emotional, physical or technological. And although this type of behaviour is little talked about and often flies under the radar, it can have serious consequences. More than 2,800 women across the UK were surveyed on the topic,…

How to develop your emotional intelligence ‘Developing your emotional intelligence (EI) is a transformative journey that can significantly enhance your personal and professional life,’ says Tracey Jones, a mind management coach and global keynote speaker. ‘When we consciously embrace social skill development, we become better at navigating social complexities. 1 ‘Start by cultivating self-awareness — regularly check in with your feelings, identify triggers, and observe how your emotions influence your thoughts and actions. Journaling can be a powerful tool; it helps clarify your emotional patterns and fosters introspection. EI expert Daniel Goleman believes that only when we raise our self-awareness can we self-regulate accordingly. I totally agree with his statement: by learning to manage your emotions effectively you can then respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.’ 2 ‘Use the “stop,…