Innholdsfortegnelse for December 2024 i Psychologies

Are you in full Christmas mode yet? Here at Psychologies we’re sprinkling a little bit of glitter here and there, but this year we’ve decided to practice what we preach about Christmas, and be a little bit more relaxed when it comes to all things festive. So you can find out about what your gift giving says about you (page 20), discover easy ways to improve your Christmas small talk (page 30) and learn about the benefits of gold, frankincense and myrrh (page 80). But most of the rest of the mag is purposely designed to help you continue to live a life you love every day of the year, not just for Christmas. We don’t want to pile on the pressure for you, to give you more things that…

I rushed into the room, sweaty from running, hair all over the place and blurted out one of the myriad excuses I use when I’m late (which is often). ‘I’m so sorry, the traffic was terrible.’ ‘… I got held up.’ ‘… there was an emergency.’ Why do I say these things? Because it’s easier than saying ‘I’m late because I have ADHD which means I have a very poor concept of time, am unable to prioritise, and while I knew I should be getting ready, I sat on my bed for half an hour, scrolling through Facebook reels.’ This is an example of ADHD masking. And anyone who has ADHD will be familiar with a scenario like the one above, even if they’ve never even heard of masking. What…

“It’s about focusing inwards on what made us happy, and noticing why these moments mattered to us” What feelings do you experience when you think of 2024? Be honest with yourself – and it’s perfectly normal if you find it’s a mix of emotions. And it’s also understandable to find it hard to reflect, or if you start second guessing your instincts. Key to really digging into what 2024 meant for you is getting in touch with your values. ‘The purpose of reviewing our year is to take the learning forwards by being in alignment with what’s important to us, rather than looking sideways and thinking about what other people have achieved,’ says coach Zoé Carroll. ‘Our achievements don’t need to be important to other people – they need to…

SUZY READING Struggling to buy something for a hard-to-please or ‘controlling giver’ this Christmas? ‘It’s not selfish to raise a gentle conversation about the nature of gift giving and seek greater reciprocity,’ says chartered psychologist Suzy Reading. Find out more about the power dynamics and what your giving says about you on page 20. RACHEL MORGAN-TRIMMER ‘People with ADHD receive so many negative messages about the traits we can’t help... that we start to try to conceal them by attempts to supress them, explaining them away or over-apologising,’ says neurodiversity consultant Rachel Morgan-Trimmer. Learn how to help people with ADHD ‘unmask’ on page 38. GEORGINA STURMER ‘Looking back can help us to challenge any anxiety or fear that we have felt in the past,’ says counsellor Georgina Sturmer, ‘this can…

A trouble shared is a trouble halved, so they say, and it’s a motto Vogue Williams lives by. The model, podcaster and media star has become best known for her humour-filled podcasts, built around finding the funny side of life, but now she’s shining a light on the things some of us find difficult to tell others: our most embarassing moments – and she’s making sure she’s got plenty to share going forwards, too. ‘There’s no way I’m finished doing all the embarrassing stuff,’ she says. ‘I’ve just turned 39 and I have so much more embarrassing s*** to give! You just continue on and it’s about being able to look back and laugh at it – and share it with other people, so others aren’t as embarrassed of their…

I feel a strong sense of nostalgia around the winter solstice. The energy of this time always brings back memories of Christmas growing up — the anticipation building as we prepared for the holidays. We’d make paper rings to hang from the ceiling, a decorating tip I learned from school. From as early as June or July, Mum would soak currants in Sanatogen ruby red wine, letting them steep in preparation for the dark rum cake she’d bake in December. As the eldest girl, I had my own duties, cleaning the skirting boards, taking down and replacing curtains, and getting the house ready ahead of Christmas Day. As we prepared our home for Christmas, nature too was quietly preparing in the background for new beginnings. Even in winter, when trees…

Circle the answers that most closely apply to you, then add up the symbols. Read the section, or sections, you circled most, to find your year review focus 1 You often use a year review to work out ♥ Where the time went........................ ■◆ What to do next ............................... ■● What made a difference..................■■ What people thought of you ........... ■ 2 You’d like more clarity on ♥ What’s going on for you inside ........ ■◆ What you’d like to bring into your life ................................................ ■● What’s going on in your personal life ......................................... ■■ What’s going on around you ........... ■ 3 Your core values revolve around ♥ Reaching your full potential............. ■◆ Doing the right thing ....................... ■● Kindness and compassion.............. ■■ Being your best self......................... ■ 4…

Is it real or is his ‘man-flu’ all in his head? Q My husband says ‘man flu’ is a thing and that he read somewhere that a study proves men get worse cold symptoms than women. Is this true? I wish I could give you a straight answer to this but it’s complex! There was a study in the 1990s that showed men tend to report ‘worse’ symptoms when hit with a cold than women, but the cold symptoms themselves were not found to be different or worse for men. So this may suggest that when men get sick, they may feel more distressed than women do, but that doesn’t mean the illness itself is worse. More recently in 2020, male mice showed more symptoms of the flu than female…

Orange & honey glazed salmon This recipe is a show-stopping fish centrepiece for Christmas Day, or a buffet meal. A whole side of salmon is coated in a simple but festive glaze, which adds colour and flavour. I like to lay the orange pieces along the middle of the fish as decoration, in slightly kitsch 80s fashion, a throwback to the Christmases of my childhood. PREP TIME: 40 minutesSERVES: 6 ● 1 orange, zested● 2 tbsp runny honey, plus an extra 1 tbsp to finish● 2 tsp ground ginger● 2 tsp garlic granules● 1kg side of salmon● sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 1 Preheat the oven to 180°C fan/200°C/Gas Mark 6. 2 Mix the orange zest (save the fruit for later), 2 tablespoons of honey, ginger, garlic granules…

I am essentially a bit anti-consumerist, so I don’t buy things,’ declares Konnie Huq, author of the Cookie! children’s book series, and the longest-serving female Blue Peter presenter. She buys food, of course, and items that might need replacing such as leaking wellies, but stresses: ‘I haven’t bought clothes in, say, the last 20 years – all those years I did on Blue Peter, you get clothes for the job anyway. ‘The older I get, the more comfy I feel in my own skin. So now, I’d rather be really unfashionable, but know people like me for me, rather than the clothes I wear. I’m much happier opting out. ‘Most of the stuff in our house is furniture that’s come from my mum’s house, a bit of a set they…

In the mood WISDOMLIFE AS I KNOW IT Is there anything more stressful than someone asking you what you want? At this time of year I get the double-whammy of what do I want for Christmas and what do I want for my birthday, coming at me from all directions and the pressure of having to name those desires can feel overwhelming. And yes, I absolutely should keep a list on my phone which I just add to as things occur to me and I promise I will remember to do that next year. Maybe. Hopefully. For me, the problem with naming what I want is that so often it comes with a side of fear that I’m asking for too much. For example, this year I would really like…

The holiday season is here and calendars are filling up with festive functions, family gatherings, and office parties. Along with those events comes a seemingly endless stream of opportunities (or requirement, depending on your point of view) for small talk. Whether it’s catching up with distant relatives, mingling with colleagues you don’t often see, or meeting new people at a party, one thing is certain: you’ll be making conversation. For some, small talk is as easy as sipping hot cocoa by the fire. But others would rather walk through hot coals. That’s where Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk, comes in. According to Fine, small talk isn’t just meaningless fluff, it’s a vital skill that helps build deeper connections in all aspects of life. ‘Small talk…

What do I need to get done before the end of the year? What presents are left to buy? Who am I visiting, and when? This time of year really can be a whirlwind. I often find myself fretting over festive plans, alongside what I need to get wrapped up workwise over the next few weeks. My mind also starts to look onwards to January and what I hope the next year will bring. But, despite the hectic air that many of us experience in December, it’s worth taking some time to pause. ‘What are your new year’s resolutions?’ I inevitably ask my husband each year while we’re out for a brisk walk around the park or decorating the tree, and he asks me the same. We usually each have…

Bringing hygge home: easy changes for a happier home ‘After a decade of living Danishly, I’m coming home, but I’m determined to bring Denmark’s best habits with me,’ says Helen Russell, bestselling author of The Year of Living Danishly . ‘It’s things like hygge – the concept of cosy togetherness dating back to the 19th century. Hygge isn’t just about aesthetics – it’s rooted in principles that enhance well-being and mental health. So here are four science-backed ways to make a home hygge – wherever we are.’ 1 Get your lighting right: Danes have a ‘no big light’ rule, eschewing harsh overheads for softer pools of light from lamps and candles (Danes burn the highest number of candles per head in Europe). Everyone looks better bathed in a warm, soft…

This month, I’m sharing the last installment of my A to Z of reasons to sing, explaining how singing supports our physical, social and mental health. U is for Unifying We know from countless studies that synchronous activities – such as dancing, moving, singing and laughing together – have a powerful bonding effect. When we sing together, there are many levels of synchronisation happening simultaneously: breathing, vocalising, heartbeats (yes, heartbeats!), which help create deep and lasting social connections within a group. Individuals become part of a bigger whole and, for a while at least, give themselves over to the feeling and may experience what sociologist Emile Durkheim calls ‘collective effervescence’. An example of this is at a big sports game, where thousands of fans raise their voice together to get…