Innholdsfortegnelse for August 2024 i Psychologies

As I look out of my window, I’m reminded of that old chestnut: the grass is always greener. It quite literally is greener on the other side of the fence in our case – we are not natural gardeners, and our lawn’s a bit of a state – but, also, I can’t help but think about the way we so often feel everyone else has it better than us. And the same can be true when it comes to confidence. Everyone else seems to have more of it than us, or at least it looks more lush and well kept, if you’ll bear with my lawn analogy. But what’s the truth? Some people might be louder, and splash more on social media about all their incredible achievements, or a colleague…

There aren’t that many moments in life that we’ll remember forever; possibly only a handful. But I recently experienced one of those rare snapshots in time. And I replay the moment often, just to savour its joy. Cycling back to our Airbnb in Amsterdam with one of my oldest friends, we took a wrong turn and suddenly found ourselves off the main road, sailing through the Vondelpark at dusk. A peal of laughter rang through the balmy air and I turned to see a silhouetted group of people wearing party hats, sitting in a circle on the grass, plastic glasses raised in a toast. As I looked back towards the path I saw a sea of bicycle lights dancing before me in the darkness, like fireflies. In that second, momentarily…

And as we embrace a more chilled opportunity, this month can really give us a chance to give our mind, body and spirit some respite from the usual day-to-day pace. As such, it’s the perfect time to place you and your relationship at the top of your list of priorities, and implement any positive changes to blow off the cobwebs and maximise interdependent couple fulfilment. When we take a break from our usual routine, it gives us an opportunity to really tap into the things that matter, to the people who are the most important in our lives, and bring our conscious minds into the here and now. Taking our foot off the gas is not only good for our mental health every once in a while, but it’s a…

Pulled aubergine tacos Building tacos is a great way to get children involved in the kitchen. Mushroom and aubergine are both really versatile vegetables, with so much meaty potential if prepared right. Here, the BOSH! boys have combined the two, to make a succulent and delicious taco filling that kids will love. SERVES 4 For the filling: ● 4 aubergines● Olive oil, to drizzle● 300g king oyster mushrooms● 2 tsp smoked paprika● 1 onion, peeled and diced● 2 garlic cloves, peeled and diced● 1 x 400g can of chopped tomatoes● 3 tbsp harissa paste● 1 tbsp brown rice miso paste● 1 vegetable stock pot● Salt and pepper For the tacos: ● 8 mini tortilla wraps For the tomato salsa: ● A bunch of coriander, finely chopped● 5 medium tomatoes, finely…

SIMON ALEXANDER ONG ‘When you lack energy, you make poor decisions, get easily frustrated over the smallest things, and operate significantly below your potential,’ says life coach Simon Alexander Ong: ‘But when you feel energised, there’s nothing you feel you can’t overcome.’ Learn how to maximise your energy and become the architect of your day, on page 22. KERI JARVIS ‘We’re socialised to feel our success is caught up in what we have to show the world,’ says development coach Keri Jarvis. So, when life throws you a financial curveball, it can deplete your self-worth along with your bank balance. Discover how to makeover your money mindset and thrive through a status shift, on page 28. PENNY WINCER ‘Our home should be a refuge, somewhere that provides us with a…

Most people will know Anna Mathur for her work in the motherhood space. The psychotherapist, podcaster, Sunday Times bestselling author and mum-of-three is passionate about sharing her personal and professional experiences to support other mums – and mothers like me hang on her every word to guide us through not only raising our children, but also raising ourselves. But her fifth book, The Uncomfortable Truth (Penguin Life, £16.99), sidesteps the focus on parenting and looks at the wider issues that can trigger our deepest fears. When I ask Mathur what truths she had to face head on when writing the book, she says they were the things that fuelled her nightmares: worries and anxieties: ‘As I was writing the book, I saw life’s uncertainties in black and white,’ she says.…

Recently, over a period of three days, I felt at sea – unsettled and moody. It took a moment before I realised that for three days I had not made time to journal. Now my unsettledness made sense. Catching myself, I returned to the blank page, starting with a practice I know in my bones. It’s a technique I borrowed from one of my paper mentors, Julia Cameron. For the past six months, I’ve started almost every journal entry by describing the weather outside my bedroom window. Twyla Tharp, the dancer and choreographer, once said of her approach to her creative practice: ‘Starting is not the same as beginning.’ Tharp went on to describe how she scratches around before she finds her point of entry when it comes to her…

Narcissism is more than mere selfcenteredness. It isn’t just the person who walks into a room and commands attention. It’s pervasive and insidious. And being abused by a narcissist isn’t like flicking a light switch where one day they’re nice and the next they’re not. It’s slow, and it chips away at the core of who you are without you even realising it. This is what makes it so hard, because narcissists do all of this behind closed doors – they have one face for the public and one for you. It’s vital to know the signs of a narcissist, so you know what you’re dealing with and can help protect yourself. Overt narcissism An overt narcissist is someone who thinks they’re incredibly special and important. They believe they’re better…

Imagine, for a moment, that you’re sitting on a plane bound for your summer holiday destination, when an emergency arises. The pilot has been taken ill and – since you’re seated in the front row – the cabin crew needs you to try to land the plane. According to a mixture of urban myth and a YouGov poll, many men feel confident that they could safely land a plane if called upon to do so in such circumstances. Most women, however, are confident of just one thing: that they definitely could not land the plane, even if their lives depended on it. Who knows whether that’s true, but it’s certainly a powerful illustration of what confidence boils down to: a state of mind. The men who reckon they could pull…

Tick the answers that most closely apply to you, then add up the symbols. Read the section, or sections, you ticked most, to find out how to come across as quietly confident 1 Quiet confidence means having an inner ♥ Glow ................................................. ■◆ Compass ......................................... ■● Strength .......................................... ■■ Clarity .............................................. ■ 2 You thrive when you have ■ Stability............................................ ■ ♥ Balance ............................................ ■◆ Space ............................................... ■● Security .......................................... ■ 3 You most value feeling ■ Grounded ........................................ ■ ♥ Balanced ......................................... ■◆ Calm................................................. ■● Peaceful........................................... ■ 4 Under pressure, you tend to ♥ Self-sabotage .................................. ■◆ Seek reassurance........................... ■● Self-attack ...................................... ■■ Keep going....................................... ■ 5 In general, you wish you were better at ♥ Listening to yourself ....................... ■■ Knowing yourself ............................ ■◆ Trusting yourself............................. ■● Loving…

How can I teach her accountability? Q My four-year-old always screams and yells at us when she gets something wrong or makes a mistake. For example, on a recent trip to the park, she ran off in excitement as we arrived and tripped over. She instantly looked at me and screamed, ‘You pushed me!’ What’s going on? How can I get her to accept more responsibility? Blaming someone or something else for our personal distress is a normal human reaction. An uncomfortable truth is that adults do this, too. Take a moment to think about whether you have ever run through a red light and then blamed your children for distracting you, how often you have yelled while criticising your partner for ‘not listening’ to you, or how many times…

What do you think about when I ask you about ageism? Is it the silent (or not so silent) judgment of older mothers? The fact that a pregnant woman over 35 – yes, 35 – is considered ‘geriatric’? What about the staggering lack of menopause care in this country? The statistic that a quarter of women consider quitting their jobs in midlife, due to the absence of support? Perhaps it’s none of these things. But let’s take a moment to consider that you’re likely not sitting at home reading this piece and considering how ageism impacts men. To say it’s a patriarchal structure is an understatement. Take aesthetics, for example – whereas when male actors welcome a few grey hairs it merely earns them the moniker ‘silver fox’, countless column…

As a singing leader, one of the most common assertions I hear people make about their own voice is that they are ‘tone-deaf’. Often, this is accompanied by one – or more – of the following phrases: ‘Oh, I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket!’, ‘I sing all the right notes, but not in the right order!’, and ‘My voice is like a screeching cat!’ Does this sound familiar? Whilst many people hold such beliefs about their singing ability, the reality is that only a very small percentage of the population would be classified as tone-deaf – but more on that in a moment. However, it is this limiting belief that prevents so many people from engaging in singing, and therefore missing out on the associated health and wellbeing…