Innholdsfortegnelse for July 2023 i Psychologies

‘Don’t be so sensitive’, ‘You’re overthinking it’, and ‘You care too much’ are phrases I’ve heard a lot throughout my life. I have often found myself easily overwhelmed by stress, replaying a scenario in my head for days, and feeling both my own and other people’s emotions deeply. I thought there must be something wrong with me, as I just couldn’t understand how other people could be so unbothered by situations that I found so overwhelming. Then, a few years ago, I came across the book The Highly Sensitive Person (HarperCollins, £14.99) by Dr Elaine Aron, and each page I read felt like another light-bulb moment – this was me. If you process information deeply, are sensitive to your environment, and have heightened emotions, then like me, you too could…

Psychotherapist K J Nasrul believes we know innately how to heal ourselves. Having lost her father to lung cancer at four years old, one of Nasrul’s earliest memories is of soothing herself with music. ‘At that age, you don’t have the language to express loss, but I found this way of acknowledging grief,’ she explains. ‘I remember climbing up to reach the piano with this understanding of what striking the keys would do. We know inherently how to soothe ourselves; we are born creative beings.’ It’s a potent idea that stirs a powerful memory for me. I’m five years old, in the car with my dad. Bruce Springsteen is on the stereo. I’m leaning against the driver’s seat unrestrained (hey, this was 1981), arms wrapped around the headrest, making up…

In recent weeks, gaps have started to appear in my life, moments when I remember what it is to breathe and travel through life without small hands clutching at my sleeves. The same thing happened about 18 months ago, when I noticed my world opening up, and started to lift my eyes above the rooftops. But then the gates slammed shut again as the caring responsibilities ramped up once more, and opportunities for respite evaporated like fields of mist under the Northumbrian sun. “ When a break in the routine emerges, I allow myself to listen to my tired body and mind” When the house is not full of my family, the air around me feels lighter. Not because it feels heavy when the house is full, but there is…

We’re accustomed to seeing collagen adorn our creams, oils and ointments, and hearing how fabulous it is for plumping our skin, smoothing fine lines, and strengthening hair and nails. But did you know that collagen is also a secret powerhouse when it comes to our mental health? This humble protein is said to help with cognitive function and memory, and can even calm a busy mind. Nutritionist Daisy Connor of City Survivor explains why it’s time we all started to look at collagen a little differently… Keep calm with collagen ‘You might want to up your collagen levels to keep your skin looking fresh, but there’s strong evidence to suggest that dietary collagen, including supplements, has potential benefits for mental health, too,’ says Connor. ‘For example, it’s rich in the…

Book of the month Friendaholic by Elizabeth Day (HarperCollins, £16.99) The greatest love stories of our lives rarely feature in novels or films: it’s the bond you have with friends, which can be just as transformational as romantic love. Here, our cover star Elizabeth Day, host of the How to Fail podcast, investigates how these platonic relationships evolve, from initial connection to mutual adoration and dependence. She also shines a light on the tougher times, too – from toxic mates to frenemies – and whether clinging to someone who makes you unhappy, because you pride yourself on being a ‘good friend’, is wise. A candid and essential read if you suspect that your self-worth might be too closely linked to the size of your pool of pals. Fearless by Louise…

Session three... I always give myself time to think and to reacquaint myself with my clients before their sessions. I think about coaching techniques, questions, and knowledge I have that could be helpful to them. I sometimes need to manage my own self-talk, too: ‘Am I doing enough?’ ‘Am I the right person to be working with this client?’ Hazel’s situation is complex, and it is appropriate to check that I am working within my areas of competency, and to recognise when and if I should consider referring Hazel to a professional with more specific experience. The last time we met, Hazel had experienced a breakthrough in accepting and acknowledging the reality of her partner’s health condition. I wondered how she had communicated this to her partner, Sarah*, and how…

Despite the natural impulse to grow, at times this drive can be stunted. We can become so caught up in the daily grind that we stop seeing the beauty of life and just get through the day, the week, the year, putting off happiness for another time, not fully conscious of life and all it has to offer. We have a natural desire to be consistent and are most happy when all our beliefs and values line up. Our brain prefers things to be as expected, and does its best to keep it that way. When information fits our framework or we are in situations we know, we can run on autopilot, a place our brain likes to be. When everything fits and there are no surprises, we experience less…

Assess your state of mind ‘Ask yourself how you really are and write down your answers on a scale of one to 10 for the different areas of life,’ suggests Dr Alex George. ‘How happy, sad, angry, anxious, inspired and content do you feel? Look for patterns in your scores, which indicate areas of your wellbeing that need focus. ‘The traffic-light system is another useful tool to identify when your mental health is struggling. It’s used during shift handovers in hospitals, and helps you to recognise patterns within yourself. Everyone says whether they’re feeling green, amber, or red. You might be green when you spend time outside, catch up with friends, or meet a deadline. But if you have three red days in a row, it’s a red flag that…

Some things never cease to amaze me. Is it not strange that, in Western culture, the story of Romeo and Juliet, a couple of naive, confused children, serves as a model for the type of sublime love that’s greater than life itself? Let’s take a good look at what happens. The story begins like this: Romeo is madly in love with… Rosaline. Yes, Rosaline. Rosaline? Who is that? Many people forget this detail, but at the beginning of the story Romeo is in love with Rosaline, Juliet’s cousin. Here’s what Romeo says about her: “The all-seeing sun Ne’er saw her match since first the world begun”WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, ROMEO AND JULIET, ACT 1, SCENE 2 Moments before he meets Juliet, Rosaline is the one who has captured Romeo’s heart, the one…

In your book, you talk about ‘ultra-processed food’ (UPF). What’s that? If it’s wrapped in plastic, and contains an additive you don’t have in your kitchen, it’s probably ultra-processed. That encompasses all supermarket bread, almost all breakfast cereals, all those nutrition bars, frozen pizzas, most ready meals. If it’s marketed at you, it’s probably ultra-processed. Why focus on this, instead of sugar or salt or fat? Obesity has one primary cause, which is the consumption and marketing of modern industrial food – or ultra-processed foods. That definition was written down in 2010, as a hypothesis, and it’s been tested really rigorously since then. I’d say the jury is now in on it being the primary cause of pandemic obesity. It’s very likely also the origin of diet-related disease, which is…

One day, a few weeks back, I got on a train and went on a 90-minute journey from central London to Margate, a seaside town that I have never visited before. I say that as if I escape to other seaside towns regularly – that isn’t true. It rarely occurs to me to leave London. This is a great pity because, as I soon discovered, there is nothing like going to a new place and getting lost to make you understand the power of looking at the world through fresh eyes. Taking your camera away from your usual routine, even just for a day trip, can be a brilliant source of fresh visual ideas. In Margate, everything looked different to my tired eyes, fatigued from a seemingly endless London winter…

Power plants Once the bane of a gardener’s life, weeds have been re-branded as ‘hero plants’ for 2023. Four of the 12 gardens at the prestigious RHS Chelsea Flower Show contained plants traditionally referred to as weeds, to show the beauty of species such as brambles, thistles and knapweed. RHS garden manager Sheila Das says protecting them is vital in a world where biodiversity and green space is declining. ‘We used to call them plants in the wrong place. They are not; they are plants in the right place. It’s telling you what’s going on underground. It’s your advisor.’ Experts say nettles can show your soil is nitrogen rich, while dandelions provide nectar for insects. 3 of the best… HOLIDAY READS 1 The House In The Olive Grove by…

Just as physical fitness is optimised when we combine cardio, strength and flexibility training, the mind needs some routine, some challenge, and some novelty. When you’re going through tough times or dealing with lots of pressure, a stable routine can offer some safety in the midst of uncertainty. We often underestimate the power of this, and particularly of the value of quick micro-habits. My first steps to recovery after suffering from burnout were three simple steps; a five-minute mindfulness practice in the morning, a 10-minute lunch break every day, and five minutes each evening to reflect on the strengths I had used throughout the day. Within two weeks, I noticed a huge shift in my mindset, thinking patterns, and energy. We can have a mental illness or condition and still…

GO DEEP Self Space Deep and Meaningfuls (£25, store.theselfspace.com) Create deep and meaningful moments with yourself (via journalling) or with loved ones, using this box of thought-provoking prompts written by therapists. FIND FOCUS Soul app (free trial, soulbreathwork.com) This breathwork app for people who can’t meditate but who want to feel better and focus more easily, is a game-changer. GET BALANCE Life Armour Drops of Balance (£22.50, lifearmour.co.uk) Expertly formulated by GPs, nutritionists, and medical herbalists, this supplement contains well-known adaptogens (ashwagandha, shatavari root, lemon balm, and schisandra berry), as well as vitamins B12 and B5, which contribute to normal psychological function and mental performance. MAKE A PLAN Happy By Me Happiness Planner (£33, happybyme.co.uk) Find your way with this 12-week planner based on years of research into the science…

Green banana get up & go pancakes These protein-packed, flourless pancakes can be made without the collagen, however, the extra hit of amino acids in the morning is ideal for muscle building and hunger control. When bananas are green, they have less sugar content… you decide how green you want to go. Delicious hot or cold! Makes 12 small pancakes ● 1 greenish banana● 2 eggs● 1 tbsp collagen peptides (optional)● ½ tsp ground cinnamon● Coconut oil or ghee, for frying To serve: ● Natural yoghurt● Fresh berries● Chopped nuts● Seeds 1 Add the banana to a blender with the eggs, collagen (if using) and cinnamon, then combine to create a smooth batter. 2 Heat a small amount of coconut oil or ghee in a frying pan, and when the…

Is there anywhere better to spend a day than the British coast? It doesn’t matter if you head to the tourist hotspots on the south coast, for the rugged beauty of the west, to the stunning natural capes of the north, or for the more homely offerings on the east coast, each one has a wealth of experiences to offer, and a character like no other. But why do we love to be beside the seaside so much? And why, in particular, does enjoying a walk along the coast bring us such enormous benefits? We spoke to the experts to find out… SPECTACULAR SOUNDSCAPE ‘Coastal waters have their own soundscape,’ says Dr Mathew White, an environmental psychologist and expert in the benefits of blue spaces. ‘The sound of the sea…