Innholdsfortegnelse for April 2023 i Psychologies

What gets you up in the morning? We asked you on Insta recently and received some brilliant responses, from the aspirational ‘God and gratitude’ and ‘this amazing life’, to the all too familiar ‘coffee and my child’! It’s a question we’re returning to this month, and I’m delighted to welcome back the fantastic Anita Chaudhuri to examine it for us. Anita was the main writer of the dossier for several years before life took a different turn and she decided to go back to university. Now she’s back (and better than ever!) and sharing her journey to find her own sense of purpose (page 45). She examines the very idea, why it’s so popular at the moment, and discovers she was actually suffering a (possibly pandemic-induced) sense of ‘purpose anxiety’.…

Find happiness with flowers and fauna WHERE: OnlinePRICE: £127VISIT: createacademy.com Nature brings so much joy – different shapes, scents, textures and colours – and inviting the natural world into your home can spark happiness, reducing stress and anxiety, too. Professional floral stylist Willow Crossley describes her work as much more than just creating arrangements: ‘It’s like therapy to me; it’s uplifting and reassuring – it nurtures the soul,’ she explains. Discover the benefits for yourself with her Complete Floristry Masterclass, a range of 43 lessons brought to you from her home in the Cotswolds. Each lesson guides you through different floristry techniques and principles, giving you the tools needed to let your creative floral flair shine through. Manage your mindset WHERE: OnlinePRICE: £15VISIT: themoodclub.com With a passion for helping people…

When you become a mother, it’s really easy to start putting yourself second. Despite our best-laid and most feminist plans, babies are born physically and emotionally reliant on their mothers. As a result of this, the habit of neglecting yourself in order to care for your child is formed early – and it’s hard to break. Taking care of your physical, emotional, financial and intellectual needs should not be a bonus you fit in once everyone else in the house is content. You don’t always have to be at the back of the self-care queue. Neglecting your desires leads to anger and resentment, especially if it falls to you to make sure everyone else is fed, entertained and getting enough sleep. Resentment is poisonous to relationships, making it impossible to…

There’s something deeply mysterious about magic. People of all ages are drawn to it, and it’s been present in almost every culture throughout recorded history. Magic has always played a significant role in my life. I saw my first magic trick when I was eight years old, worked as a magician in my teenage years, and became a member of the Inner Magic Circle. I eventually became a professor of psychology, and have studied the science of magic. Over the years I have worked with lots of magicians, including Derren Brown and David Copperfield. I have recently teamed up with science journalist Marnie Chesterton to create a new psychology-based podcast called Richard Wiseman’s On Your Mind. In each episode, we discuss ways in which people can change and improve their…

Patient is not a term I’d normally use to describe myself. And since fracturing my shoulder before Christmas, the irony of the double meaning of ‘patient’ has not been lost on me; it feels like I’ve been playing an endless waiting game – clock-watching in outpatient clinics, counting down the days until my next X-ray, obsessing about getting back to normal. ‘It would be a good idea to get out and about doing things you enjoyed before the injury,’ suggested my brilliant physio. For me, that means adventures with my camera, and as I begin to heal, things should get easier. In his book The Visual Toolbox (Pearson Education, £36.99), the photographer David duChemin devotes a whole chapter to patience: ‘Patience is what will keep you from giving up, from…

RICH KARLGAARD When you don’t conform to the dominant social culture, you can feel left behind in life. But, says writer Rich Karlgaard, ‘we’ll each forge different, equally valid, paths towards blooming.’ Celebrate taking life at your pace and the wisdom of age on page 22, and learn how to let go of society’s rigid timeline. DR KAT LEDERLE The clock change as we ‘spring forward’ into the new season and lose that hour of shut-eye can have a significant impact upon our health and wellbeing, says sleep scientist Dr Kat Lederle. Take steps to safeguard your sleep and learn some good habits that will help you drift off all year long, on page 76. RICHARD WISEMAN ‘Magic expands our mind and provides a sense of awe and wonder,’ says…

InterviewROLE MODELS Earlier this year, Cherry Healey invited her Instagram followers to share their stories about dating in their forties. She didn’t really know what to expect in response, but it turned out to be a subject that struck quite a chord. The hundreds of replies she received from women – all navigating the complexities of looking for love at 40-plus – were thoughtful, witty, wise and heartachingly honest, which confirmed to Healey, 42, something she already knew. ‘Women in their 40s and 50s are just amazing, and truly magical,’ she says. ‘I learned so much from their responses, and I’m endlessly honoured that people take the time to write to me. ‘I love being in my 40s; it’s my favourite decade so far, by such a long way. I…

It has only taken me 40 years, but I think I might finally love my body. I know I’ve written here before of all the many ways I’ve made peace with my body over the years, but last week I realised I really am quite in love with it. This revelation came to me during a breathwork class on a Friday evening last month. A friend had found the class and sent it to me with a ‘How brave are you feeling?!’ message. You see, this wasn’t just any old breathwork class: it was for women only, and would involve being naked for the majority of the event. So, of course, I said yes immediately. I’ve never really minded being naked – in fact, I usually feel more comfortable naked…

psychologies DOSSIER With you in mind During my father’s funeral, a few years ago, a woman approached me and said: ‘Do you know, your dad saved my life? I would not be here without him.’ My doctor dad had worked as an infectious diseases consultant for more than 40 years, so her words shouldn’t have come as a surprise. But, in the heightened emotions of the moment, the encounter brought tears to my eyes. It’s one thing to know intellectually that a family member saves lives, quite another to come face to face with the living, breathing evidence. In the ruminative, empty days of the first lockdown, the incident came back to haunt me. Everyone else in my family had always been employed in the caring professions or public…

Tick the answers that most closely apply to you, then add up the symbols. Read the section, or sections, you ticked most, to find out how to reconnect with what really matters to you 1 You doubt your life choices when you ♥ Get trapped in routine ....................... ■ ◆ Feel taken for granted ....................... ■ ● Ruminate over past decisions .......... ■ ■ Compare yourself to others ............. ■ 2 You’re most content after a day of making ■ Good choices ..................................... ■ ♥ Memories............................................ ■ ◆ Things happen...................................... ■ ● Connections....................................... ■ 3 You feel unsettled when you wonder if ♥ You’re missing out................................ ■ ● You can cope...................................... ■ ◆ You’re stepping up............................. ■ ■ You’re doing enough.......................... ■ 4 In groups, you tend to be the…

How can I avoid making the same mistake again? Q I can feel the pull within me to go back to a man whom I had a kind of a ‘thing’ with for a few years. He’s married, and I was the one who ended it, because I wanted something more. I really like him and particularly miss the sex, and I know it will take a long time to create that kind of ease with someone else. How can I stay strong and stay away? I’m sure a lot of readers will recognise your feelings, even if not the exact circumstances. It’s hard to stay away from a person who makes you feel good, especially when even a simple hug has been fraught for the past few years. Sex…

When my son was ten months’ old, I took him to his medical review. ‘You need to do standing exercises with him,’ said the health visitor, pulling him up off the playmat. ‘His gross motor skills are below average,’ she continued. While other babies his age were already careering around on two feet, my son had just started crawling. He’s a child who learns by watching, and likes to be well prepared before attempting something new. Was I really going to interfere with his newfound delight exploring the world on all-fours so he could progress to his next milestone faster? Would you force the petals of a flower open, or let it bloom in its own time? I was confident he’d walk when he was ready. And I wanted him…

I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of confidence, and it seems to be the number-one topic the majority of my coaching clients want to talk about. If I leaf back through the scores of journals I’ve kept over the years, confidence – or a lack of it – makes an appearance on almost every other page. So, this month, I want to share an idea about how to grow and nurture your confidence through writing, inspired by the calathea plant in my bedroom. Its huge jade-green leaves are broad and bodacious, giving it the air of a plant very comfortable in its own skin. Every six weeks, like clockwork, one of the plant’s largest leaves turns yellow at the tip, slowly consuming itself and dying over the course of…

Eat well A HEALTHY CHOCOLATE FIX With Easter just around the corner, and the supermarket aisles chock-a-block with the sweet stuff, it can be hard to resist stocking up. While everything – even chocolate – is fine in moderation, if you’re looking for a nutritious alternative that is still super-delicious then Cosmic Dealer might be just the thing. This French chocolate brand specialises in raw, low-sugar and herbal-infused chocolate that’s still creamy and indulgent. From £3.50, available at contentbeautywellbeing.com WHOLE GRAIN GOODNESS Whether it’s served alongside curry, stew or as a side to fish or meat (see this month’s recipe, right, for inspiration!), rice is a kitchen cupboard staple we all need. A great source of energy, if you’re looking to maximise its health benefits then brown rice is the…

The B vitamin complex plays a vital role in many areas of mental wellbeing, including neurotransmitter efficiency, emotion and stress regulation, and keeping your nervous system in tip-top condition. With so much to gain from this multifaceted vitamin, independent nutrition consultant Rob Hobson guides us through its strengths, and what we really need… Spring clean your brain ‘B vitamins are a group of eight vitamins that form the B complex,’ says Hobson. ‘Each has an important role to play for our bodies and minds, but when working as a team, all of vitamin B’s components have been found to be exceptional at cleansing our brains of waste proteins and toxins, allowing cells to function at their best.’ Turn back the years ‘Of particular note when it comes to brain health…

If we put 20 people in a room with spiders, their body and brain responses and emotional experiences would vary. Even two people who describe a similar emotion, such as feeling scared, might have very different body and brain responses. When my children see a spider and I tell them, ‘There’s nothing to be scared of’, I am factually incorrect. My brain may not be creating a body sensation that’s understood as fear, but if their brains are predicting differently, creating a body response that they understand as fear, that is entirely real and valid. So, my response is dismissive of the emotion they are experiencing. Sorry, kids! We might think we should be able to look at objects or events and determine an objective reaction. The correct response for…