Innholdsfortegnelse for February 2023 i Psychologies

Expert advice Becki Ravin is a coach, author, entrepreneur, and the author of You Are Powerful: The Secret To Everyday Manifestation (Ebury, £9,99). Her podcast, Get Lit, gives weekly advice on silencing your inner critic and building your self-worth. beckirabin.com John Purkiss is a successful international businessman, speaker, and the author of the bestseller The Power Of Letting Go (Octopus, £12.99). His latest title, Learn To Let Go, a guided journal, is due to be published in April. johnpurkiss.com Vanessa King is a board member for the charity Action for Happiness, and has a Masters in applied positive psychology. She is the author of List Happy: 75 Lists For Happiness, Gratitude, And Well-being (DK, £12.99). actionforhappiness.org How often do we put off taking the leap, postponing a challenge or change…

You’ll feel more compassionate to others ‘When you are more accepting of your own self – the whole self, with strengths and weaknesses – you will be able to accept others as a whole person as well,’ says Smriti Joshi. You’ll find yourself being less critical or judgmental of other people, as you accept that we are all imperfect. You’ll be more self-sustainable Who refills your reservoir when you’re running empty? ‘Maybe you have a supportive team or family that are always there for you, and that’s wonderful,’ says Dr Vanessa Waller, ‘but many people are giving out compassion and not having their reservoir filled.’ It’s great to have a supportive network, but it’s also important to know that you can do that for yourself by being kind, mindful about…

Some might argue that fairytales are not the best blueprint when it comes to romance. That’s not to say that love isn’t present or true in these stories, but that some of the patterns the characters follow might be considered at best outdated, and at worst unhealthy. But that’s not strictly true. As you’ll see, these tales can teach us a great deal about matters of the heart, and by applying the narratives to our own situations, we can break painful patterns and find a way forward. Some day my prince will come A common theme in fairytales is the helpless princess waiting for her prince to come along and save her. Without him, she cannot move forward; she is incomplete. She finds herself in peril, either by falling under…

Expert advice Penny Weston is a fitness, wellness and nutrition expert. She is the director of Moddershall Oaks Country Spa Retreat, and founder of Made, a 360-degree wellness centre, and Made On Demand , an online wellness community. moddershalloaks.com; welcometomade.com; welcometomade.com/online/ ‘There’s no point sticking rigidly to a set exercise regime if your mind isn’t in it,’ says wellness expert Penny Weston. ‘To me, wellness is taking a journey to improve your lifestyle. If you tailor your exercise to how you feel, it will contribute to your overall feeling of wellness, rather than feeling like a chore. ‘Intuitive fitness is the art of tuning in to your body’s natural intelligence and listening to emotional cues. Listening in this way gives you the chance to make informed, mindful choices on how…

SORAYA CHEMALY ‘All emotions offer insightful information. And the more we learn about our anger, the less we’ll experience it as a negative force,’ says activist Soraya Chemaly. Vocalising our anger and getting our needs met is an act of great self-kindness; learn productive ways to set your frustration free on page 38. PENNY WESTON ‘Intuitive fitness is the art of tuning into your body and listening to emotional cues in order to make informed, mindful choices on how your body needs to move that day ,’ says wellness expert Penny Weston. Find exercise for every mindset, and tap into the mental and physical benefits, on page 78. MICHAELA THOMAS ‘Our modern life is full of demands and distractions, and all this noise can drown our inner world and intuition,’…

Star letter Clear head I’ve just read ‘All fun no fizz’ in the Christmas edition. Ruari Fairbairns states: ‘The benefits of fun alcohol-free plans far outweigh any perceived disadvantages’, and I am living proof that he’s right – as is everything that Sally Saunders writes about in the article. There is a particularly good reason why one third of women over 50 are alcohol free: it’s because we’ve seen it for what it really is. Having suffered with mental health issues on and off for a couple of years, I made the decision to treat myself to 2022 without alcohol and, boy, am I surprised by the benefits that I reap every single day. I have more energy, time, money, and no sign of social anxiety. In a bizarre twist…

Expert advice Smriti Joshi is a practicing mental health therapist and the lead psychologist at Wysa, an app offering AI-driven mental health support. wysa.io Dr Vanessa Waller is an associate professor at ARU Peterborough, a registered nurse, and a nurse educator with a special focus on self-compassion.aru.ac.uk Jo Warwick is a psychotherapist, business coach, energy healer, and the author of The Big Book Of Love (Nielsen, £19.99). jowarwick.com You will spend more time with you than anyone else in life, but when did you last stop to think about the type of relationship you have with yourself? Is it kind and respectful, or is it harsh, intolerant and unforgiving? Likely you are a compassionate person who would show kindness and understanding to others in need, but the chances are you’re…

Tick the answers that most closely apply to you, then add up the symbols. Read the section, or sections, you ticked most, to find out what gets in the way of your self-compassion 1 You’d describe your relationship with yourself as ■ Turbulent ............................................ □ ● Neglected ........................................... □ ◆ Challenging ........................................ □ ♥ Distant ................................................ □ 2 Your most common negative emotion is ♥ Stress.................................................. □ ● Anxiety ............................................... □ ◆ Guilt .................................................... □ ■ Worry .................................................. □ 3 Sometimes, you wish it was easier to ♥ Relax ................................................... □ ■ Say what you think ............................ □ ◆ Be yourself ........................................ □ ● Leave the past behind....................... □ 4 You’re at your best when you feel ♥ Understood ....................................... □ ◆ Connected.......................................... □ ● Calm.................................................... □ ■ Accepted ............................................…

Why do I feel so daunted by dating? Q After years of online dating, I’ve been introduced to a lovely man in the old-fashioned way, through a friend. The only piece of information I have about what this man is really like is that he is shy. I’ve forgotten the rules for dating in real-life as opposed to online. Honestly, am I 56 or 16?! For instance, I missed his call – do I call back or wait for him to call again? It sounds as if there’s already a klaxon alert going off in your head saying ‘don’t mess this up,’ or it could be that you’re feeling excitement, which manifests very similarly to fear (racing thoughts, heartbeat doing strange things). Either way, sex and relationship therapist Cate Mackenzie…

Vitamin D, also known as the sunshine vitamin, is something of an emotional stalwart, helping to ward off depression and low mood, balance emotional wellbeing, and keep our minds focused and sharp. It also has a host of physical benefits, too, including boosting bone and muscle health. Our bodies produce vitamin D when our skin is directly exposed to the sun’s warming rays, meaning it’s in plentiful supply in summer, but not so easy to come by during the winter months. Nutritionist Matt Jones gives us the lowdown on this vital vitamin and shares his advice on the best sources, particularly in winter. Feel happy and balanced ‘In a similar way to hormones, vitamin D has the ability to impact an array of bodily functions,’ says Jones. ‘Traditionally, it’s known…

A winter wonder Can nature offer us any better sign of hope at this time of year than the snowdrop? Those pretty little flowers that poke their way up through the frosty ground are one of the first floral signs that spring is just around the corner. Like many of us, they seem delicate, but are surprisingly resilient – they have to be, to bloom in harsh, unforgiving winter. So why not take yourself out snowdrop spotting? There are woodlands all around the UK where you can find an awe-inspiring carpet of white blooms at this time of year. Visit the woodlandtrust.org.uk to find out more about these little flowers, and where to see them at their best. BALANCE IN BATH There’s a celebration of self in Bath this month.…

Why do we have feelings that can make us ride an emotional rollercoaster? Yes, emotions sometimes make us feel on top of the world, free-wheeling on joy, but they can also plunge us to the depths of darkness, immobilise us or make us feel out of control. If we could only experience the good ones and get rid of all those horrible ones, wouldn’t all our lives be better? To answer this question, and consider why emotions are central to our lives, let’s take a brief detour to the realms of a seemingly utopian world of No Bad Emotions. A place where negative emotions have been banished. Here, people don’t feel stress, anger, fear, upset, bitterness, jealousy, guilt or sadness. It’s a modern-day pleasure dome of blissful living. Yet, soon…

If someone had told Christine McGuinness this time last year that she would be a published children’s author, she’d never have believed it. Then again, the past 12 months have been full of twists and turns, for many different reasons. But as a mum to three autistic children, and having recently being diagnosed as autistic herself, McGuinness is used to rising to life’s challenges. ‘I’m always shocked that anybody wants to work with me, but to be asked to write a children’s book…! It was such a pinch-me moment,’ says McGuinness. ‘I couldn’t believe that anyone would think I could do that. But I have. I’m so proud of what I’ve achieved.’ And so she should be. Aimed at raising awareness of children with additional needs, Amazing You, Amazing Me…

When I was in my early thirties, I ruminated for months about throwing in the towel in the early years of my freelance career in learning and development. I imagined moving back into working in retail, even though I couldn’t wait to escape this world as a young woman in my twenties. If I had stopped the clock back then, and took a closer look at what was really going on with me, I would have traced the tiny rumblings, the pitter-patter breadcrumbs trail in and amongst my journal entries that something was amiss. It would be a few years later before I learnt about the Wheel of Life coaching tool, a technique that would have been really helpful back then, had I known about it. Simply put, the Wheel…

Dr Rupy’s sipping broth This is a bit of a shared family recipe. A gingery, spicy cup of broth that I always make whenever I feel slightly under the weather; it will certainly perk you up! It has a rich collection of plant chemicals known for their anti-microbial properties, such as garlic, onion, ginger and cinnamon. Personally, I swear by it for coughs and colds. Simple to put together and intensely warming. Makes 6 cups ● 2 red onions, peeled and halved ● 50g fresh ginger, roughly chopped ● 1 garlic bulb, halved crossways ● 1 green chilli, halved lengthways ● 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil ● 5 green cardamom pods, bruised ● 1 tsp black peppercorns ● 4 cloves ● 1 tsp cumin seeds ● 1 cinnamon stick…