Innholdsfortegnelse for August 2022 i Psychologies

Our dog, Ivan, recently gave us a bit of a scare. When we returned home from school, he was dashing around the garden like a puppy, despite being months past his 14th birthday. But, by teatime, he was staggering like he had had one too many, dribbling like a tap, and refusing to touch his food. I feared the worst. You see, he has been a constant in my life these past 14 years. We bought him as newly weds, just a few short months after tying the knot. Since then, we’ve had three kids, lived in six different houses in four different towns, and had more jobs between us than I can count. Besides my husband, Ben, the one thing that has been there every day is the dog.…

Imagination, according to George Bernard Shaw, is the beginning of creation: ‘You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine, and at last, you create what you will.’ It’s a compelling idea – that we can harness our imagination to create a life we love. And it makes sense when you think about how often we use our imagination – albeit not always to positive effect. How often have you heard your phone ping with a message and found your mind racing ahead to imagine the contents? You create an instant story about what the message might be before you’ve even read it. Sometimes those stories can be helpful. But, often, we make ourselves anxious by leaping to a worst-case scenario. Our ancient ancestors would have gone into fight-or-flight…

On the first day of our summer holiday, my family will no doubt begin our search for the one memento we always bring home from a trip: a fridge magnet bearing the flag of the country we are visiting. The tradition started off as a joke years ago, when my husband and I first moved in together. He came home from a business trip to America proudly clutching the Stars and Stripes. A tiny gift for me; something to say ‘I was thinking about you’. Later, we thought it would be fun to buy one on our first holiday together, to Spain. Then we picked one up on our honeymoon in Japan. And, suddenly, it became a custom of sorts. The chosen magnet is very specific. A flag, of course,…

I live with my young children in Northumberland, in a market town tucked between the hills and the sea. If I head west, up the hill and onto a moor kissed by gorse, Scotland whispers to me across the fields. If I drive in the opposite direction, my toes can be tickled by sand in a matter of minutes, as I stand and stare beyond waves where seals bob and oystercatchers call. I didn’t grow up in this remote part of the world – I landed here by chance almost ten years ago, and since then my life has changed dramatically. An equation that added a fourth baby and subtracted a husband has created a ratio of children to adults that always raises eyebrows. But the two constants, the things…

We all love those glorious, long summer days. But summer nights? Not so much. The combination of late sunsets, early dawns and high temperatures can make getting a good night’s sleep feel almost impossible. And without a decent rest, it’s always harder to enjoy the best the day has to offer. So what are our options? You could try cooling pillows, fans surrounding your bed, even cold socks to chill your feet. Or, here, Eve Lewis Prieto, director of meditation for Headspace, shows us how to ditch the gadgets and shares ways to use the power of the mind instead. This mindfulness practice allows us to let go of the day – everything that’s happened and everything that’s been said – so that we can rest both mind and body.…

Coaching in action THE LIFE LAB Session three... In our last session, Martha had said that coaching wasn’t what she had expected, and I feared that she wouldn’t return. I was worrying I had frightened her off by challenging her to make changes too quickly, so I decided to book a session to talk things through with my coaching supervisor. My supervisor didn’t pull any punches: ‘Martha gave you a big clue upfront. She said she wants everything to be lovely and doesn’t want to accept that life involves difficulty. That applies to the coaching sessions, too. When you gently challenged Martha and she discovered that the coaching sessions weren’t going to always be “lovely”, her initial reaction was to feel let down and disappointed by coaching. And, of…

Just as there are seasons in nature, we can think about our life in terms of different seasons. We can do this in relation to our entire life, from the early decades of spring to the middle years (summer bloom through to autumn) and the later stages of life (late autumn into winter). We can also parallel seasons in our work, our energy, and our menstrual cycles. Katy Murray says that thinking of the different aspects of our life in this way can give us rich insights and help us to adapt to the changes and shifts we all experience, just like the climatic seasons. Living more seasonally is countercultural to the ‘always on’, ‘always push’ and ‘always go’ mentality that many of us find ourselves trapped in. Energy isn’t…

I’d been working as an SEN (special educational needs) support in a primary school for a few years when I was unexpectedly told, in the summer of 2020, that there wouldn’t be a job for me to return to in the new school term. It came as a surprise, and I had no idea what I was going to do next. During lockdown, I’d become more aware of how much plastic waste we were generating as a family. I was trying to do my bit, but it wasn’t easy to avoid single-use plastics, and after listening to a talk by the environmentalist Natalie Fee, I decided I wanted to do something to help make it easier. Initially, I planned to open a shop providing eco-friendly products as refills but, after…

When the moon is at its fullest, we don’t need a torch or a headlamp, especially on open ground. This is because a full moon isn’t – as one might think – twice as bright as a half moon. It’s ten times as bright, flooding the landscape with silvery light. In certain locations, the light appears even brighter. The South Downs in Sussex runs along a ridge of white chalk, from which paths have been carved. The paths reflect the moonlight in a way that is both reassuringly illuminating and mesmerisingly beautiful. During a full moon, gravitational pull increases, because the moon and the sun are pulling on the earth together. This is why the sea changes – giving us extravagantly high tides. But lots of other things also change,…

“As a working mum with two messy, demanding teenagers to deal with, my life is a constant round of chaos, cooking, and just about keeping on top of the chores. But, last year, I decided to add to my load by taking on a challenge only a few women have ever attempted – rowing 3,000 miles across the Atlantic. Along with my crew mates – all working mums, with 11 kids between us, from the ages of four to 15 – I rowed from La Gomera in the Canary Islands to Antigua in the Caribbean. I’m now one of only 252 women in the world to have successfully rowed an ocean. It took us 40 days and 40 nights, and many more hours of preparation. It was a tough and…

Paperback of the month Great Circle By Maggie Shipstead (Transworld, £8.99) Whether you’re looking for fabulous tales to entertain you as you relax on your sun bed, or a little escapism on your lunch hour, you’ll love Great Circle. This epic story spans from the Prohibition-era American West through to modern-day Hollywood, via Manhattan, the peaks of Alaska and the plains of the Antarctic. After the death of her parents, Marian Graves’ life is changed forever when she sees a pair of aerobatic flyers. As she grows up, she seeks adventure at every turn, including an ill-advised marriage to a bootlegger, before she sets out to do what no one has ever done before: fly the Great Circle around the earth, north to south via the poles. But just as…

Reduce your holiday’s carbon footprint As we steam into the summer holidays, many of us will be aiming to make up for lost time and get away for some much needed fun in the sun. But, while it’s better for the environment to use other modes of transport rather than flying, that’s not always possible. However, now you can try to reduce the impact. Environmental organisation Trees4Travel will calculate how many trees are needed to absorb your emissions, and plant them in developing countries that need reforestation. It follows UN guidance to ensure planting is done in areas most in need, using crops that restore ecosystems, increase biodiversity and provide employment opportunities for locals. Trees cost just £3 each, meaning a return flight from Gatwick to Madrid will set you…

THINKING It’s normal to think negative or critical thoughts from time to time. But anxiety can cause you to think like this all the time. The knock-on effect is that it becomes hard to recognise your successes or when you do cope, because you’ve become trapped in a cycle of negative and unhelpful thoughts. Thoughts influence feelings and feelings influence actions. It’s called the Cognitive Triangle, and it looks like this: So, it makes sense that if you think different thoughts, you’ll be able to take more control over your feelings and be able to choose different actions. Changing your thoughts begins with the knowledge that they are not facts: they’re stories that we can choose to believe or not... And many of them have massive plot holes. We can…

California poppy is the common name for the annual herb Eschscholzia californica. Unlike traditional red poppies, the California poppy boasts bright orange petals. Named as the state flower of California in 1903, this pretty plant has a whole host of natural benefits. In herbal medicine, the aerial parts of the plant – including the leaves, stem and flowers – are used as a treatment for anxiety, and as a mild sedative, analgesic and sleep-inducer. It’s also been hailed a natural pain-reliever, assisting with the management of nerve-generated pain such as neuralgia, sciatica, toothache and tension headaches, as well as being helpful in combatting panic attacks, insomnia and emotional stress. This month, our resident expert, medical herbalist and chair of the British Herbal Medicine Association, Chris Etheridge, talks us through the…

FAMILY Are you journeying through life thinking ‘What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel like I’m running on empty? How can I fix it?’ You might suffer anxiety or depression and have no idea why. You may wonder why relationships are so difficult, or why you feel like a fraud so much of the time. Or you may have simply lost your way. If this is you, it’s worth taking a quick dive into your childhood and checking out if it could be the cause of your current distress. This isn’t about bashing your parents about the poor job they did bringing you up; rather, it’s about bringing some clarity to your current state of mind, to help you feel better about you and your life moving forward. In…

Eat well Good gut science We know fibre is good for our digestion, but now new research reveals another way this food group can boost health. A study from the US Department of Agriculture found that adults who eat at least 8–10g of soluble fibre a day have fewer antibiotic-resistant microbes in their guts. This indicates that diet can play a crucial role in antimicrobial resistance and boosting immunity. While wholegrains often come to mind when we think of fibre, a diet high in beans and pulses, alongside fruit and veg, is just as important. Cheers to that! Searching for a non-alcoholic tipple that feels distinctly summery? Jin Jin might be just the ticket. No relation to actual gin, this alcohol-free beverage has been likened to the summer classic, Pimm’s.…

Spicy Thai Mushroom Salad This spicy mushroom salad is inspired by larb – a fiery salad from Laos and Thailand, usually made with ground meat. The mushrooms are a delicious alternative and work brilliantly with the chilli-spiked, zingy dressing. A simple dish but one that packs a punch. Serves 2 as a starter or as part of a bigger meal ● 3 tbsp lime juice (approximately 1–2 limes)● 1 tbsp fish sauce● 1 tsp soft brown sugar● ½ tsp dried red chilli flakes (or to taste)● 2 tbsp neutral oil (plus extra if needed)● 250g chestnut or shiitake mushrooms, chopped into 1–2cm pieces● 2 cloves of garlic, crushed● ½ small red onion, finely sliced● Small handful of coriander, chopped● Small handful of mint leaves, chopped 1 First, make the dressing.…

“The only way to know what someone intended is to ask them – and the only way to let a person know their impact is to tell them”Center for Creative Leadership Q I work for a charity, and while I still believe very strongly in our work, I can’t stand my boss. We’re going through internal change and there’s a lot of talk about ‘empowering’ people, but she swings between being a micro-manager and just disappearing and being uncontactable when I need her. I’m so disappointed, because I really love the work I do, but the frustration of things as they stand will probably make me leave. One of my favourite titles of a book is ‘Wherever you go, there you are’, and although it comes from a book about…