Innholdsfortegnelse for October 2021 i Psychologies

1 My Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open by Tanya Goodin (White Lion, £14.99) teaches you how to better interact with the digital world so you get the benefits without the anxiety. Out 21 September. 2 Find Your Why by Joanne Mallon (Summersdale. £10.99) is packed with tips on how to understand your unique purpose in life – and be more empowered and happier as a result. Out now. 3 A Year Of Mystical Thinking: Make Life Feel Magical Again by Emma Howarth (Hay House, £12.99) is a memoir and guide to seeking inner peace on your doorstep. Out 14 September.…

I took this photo in the New Forest recently. No filters. This image fills me with warmth. I was enchanted by the scene at the time, but the surprise reflection of the sun balancing on the fence blew me away when I looked more closely later. Taken on the magical Roger Penny Way on a walk to the pub, it was a moment of utter calm just before we rounded the corner and were met by in excess of 30 handsome, free-roaming ponies and cows blocking the road. Very unlike our usual Twickenham life! Zena James Would like to showcase photographic you talent in ‘Psychologies’? your What moment has made you feel inspired, grateful or moved this month? Capture it and tell us why. We’ll print the winner, plus you’ll…

Much has been written on the use of equine-assisted psychotherapy in addiction recovery and in the therapy of children with ASD and ADHD. A newly published study in the US, which looked at the impact of equine-assisted therapy on 25 children with ADHD, ADD and autism, found that a year on, children saw improvements in motor skills, behaviour, academic performance and social and communication skills. Similar studies show that equine-assisted psychotherapy reduced the violent behaviour of psychiatric inpatients and improved the psychological functioning of adolescents who had suffered sexual abuse.…

Think about when you are energised and get on with tasks – what are the conditions that allow this to happen? We are all unique. Don’t feel the need to follow how other people work best. Consider the following: • What time of the day is it? • What day of the week is it? • Are you alone? • Is it quiet or is there some noise? • Did you eat beforehand? • How many breaks do you take? • How do you know you are doing a good job – do you have to check with someone? • What else do you notice about when you do your best work?…

PASSIFLORA We all need a helping hand to find pockets of peace in this world, so we’re exploring the best Mother Nature has to offer to silence the noise, free our mind and improve our sleep. Behold, the magical herb, passiflora! Camomile is a godsend, and now we have another relaxation hero to add to our medicinal store. ‘Passiflora has been used by herbalists for many years to treat a number of issues, including anxiety and mental stress and to aid relaxation and support natural, deep sleep,’ says Chris Etheridge, chair of the British Herbal Medicines Association. Tranquil therapy “Its anxiety-reducing compounds work in a similar way to the drug diazepam” ‘Research shows that its leaves and aerial parts contain a large number of active ingredients, including chemicals called alkaloids…

Dr Radha exposes common untruths about panic attacks If you are hyperventilating, you should NOT breathe into a paper bag. Breathing into a paper bag could make things worse and may be dangerous for people with certain medical conditions. Instead, use the tips in ‘How to help yourself and others’ (right) to take control of your breathing, which will help the panic attack to pass. Panic attacks are NOT the same as panic disorder. Attacks last between five and 20 minutes, whereas panic disorder refers to frequent or regular attacks. You can, however, develop a fear of having a panic attack, which can bring on a panic attack.…

Happiness – and the things and people that make us happy  – a point many of us in life. But we can’t be happy all the time. Happiness comes in peaks and troughs and, without the lower points, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate those times of pure joy. In the accompanying podcast with psychotherapist Martin Weaver, I seek to find out about the influence others have on our capacity to feel happiness. Happiness is a subjective experience. It’s a sense of pleasure, wellbeing and joy. We can feel it innately but our sense of happiness is often influenced by who and what surround us. When we grow up, we see what brings joy to those closest to us and that’s where we develop much of our understanding of happiness.…

The UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) is the leading research, innovation, educational and regulatory body working to advance psychotherapy for the benefit of all. We have a register of more than 8,000 individual members who offer a range of therapy approaches for couples, individuals, families and groups. We also have over 70 training and accrediting organisations for those who wish to become therapists. To find the right therapist for you, or learn how to become a therapist, visit psychotherapy.org.uk…

Circle the answers that most closely apply to you, then add up the symbols. Read the section, or sections, you circled most to find what will help you get the sleep you need 1 You would be happier if your sleep was…  2 Your sleep is best when you’re…  3 A good sleep usually means…  4 You know you won’t sleep well if…  5 Better sleep would make you feel… 6 Your wellbeing would be boosted if you…  7 Your daily energy levels…  8 You fantasise about… 9 Your sleep history can be summed up as a… 10 At the end of the day, your mind goes to… Turn the page to find out what you need to turn your fitful nights into sleep-filled ones…

1 Nipper & Co Organic Sip ‘n’ Snore tea, £6.49, nipperandco.co.uk A pot of this brew makes for a relaxing ritual. It’s a herbal infusion of linden blossom, valerian and lavender with a camomile taste. It’s caffeine-free and certified organic by the Soil Association. 2 The Naked Collective Mude Sleep, £25 for 12 drinks, thenakedcollective.com If herbal tea isn’t your thing, drink a can of Mude Sleep 15 minutes before bed. It’s one of a range of five sparkling vitamin drinks – a blend of camomile, valerian root and elderflower. 3 Natur Boutique passion flower tea, £2.99, naturboutique.co.uk Try this if you’re not keen on the taste of camomile. Passion flower is thought to have a calming effect because it increases the brain’s level…

“My son’s abusive partner has alienated me” Q I am in despair over my relationship with my son. He is a traditional and gentle man, successful in his career, and has always attracted needy women. When he got together with a colleague, she seemed confident and perfect for him – but, after they moved in together, she took over. If he did not do as she said, she screamed at him and spat in his face. He has always had difficulty ending relationships because he doesn’t like to upset people but, little by little, I have been pushed out to the point where I am not even allowed to meet my grandchildren. What can I do? My main wish is for you to get support to heal, process and give…

“Rachel Michaelson, 42, an actor and mental health coach, says: ‘When I was growing up, I always wanted to be in a girl posse. When I met my husband at university, we had a group that we belonged to, but I never felt as if I fitted in. While I was training to be a coach, I experienced a shift in attitude. I realised that I didn’t need the validation of a group. If people are meant to be my friends, they’ll find me, and that seems to have played out. I’m attracting the right sort of people now with the right energy. If you don’t feel comfortable in a group dynamic, don’t feel pressured to conform. I spent years doing that and wasted a chunk of my life. Now…

FIND Psychologies’ partnership with Barefoot Coaching gives you the tools to find a coach who meets your needs. Barefoot Coaching has been at the forefront of coaching and coach training for 25 years. It has a proven track record as a provider of high-level coaching and coach training to organisations and senior executives, nationally and internationally. TRAIN The Barefoot Coaching ICF ACTP-accredited PG Certificate in Business and Personal Coaching is one of the most well-established coach training courses in the UK. Barefoot Coaching runs regular, free introductions to coach training throughout the year. Book now for a taster morning. BOOK NOW! VISIT Barefootcoaching.co.uk/ taster-mornings…

The fresh air on your skin, the scenery flying by and the crunch of the ground under your wheels… there’s a lot to love about cycling. We’re all aware of the physical benefits of getting on your bike – but did you know that cycling can make you happier as well as healthier? Whether you’re zooming along on a road bike or heading cross-country for intrepid mountain-biking adventures, discover the lesser-known perks of getting out and about on two wheels. Sleep soundly ‘Lack of sleep and depression and anxiety go hand in hand,’ says Higginbotham. ‘Quality kip is essential for mental wellbeing. Cycling boosts serotonin, the hormone that regulates your sleep-wake cycle, which may improve your brain’s ability to regulate your body clock, improving sleep. If done in the evening,…

‘Standing proudly at the top of a hill you’ve just conquered, you can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment and pride,’ says Richards. ‘Cycling builds self-belief. It teaches you to enjoy the journey and embrace what you’ve learned along the way. There may be times when you feel like giving up, but the rush you experience at the end of a ride spurs you on. Taking a wrong turn and ending up 10 miles off course can be frustrating, but it can also be a learning curve and nurtures resilience and a mind-over-matter attitude.’…

For Sunday mornings If you want that retro vibe when you nip out for a baguette, you’ll love the aluminium hybrid Marin Kentfield ST2, £685. marinbikes.co.uk For off-roaders The GT Avalanche Sport mountain bike, £600, is ideal for the aspiring mountain biker who is looking for a reliable ride. This is a trustworthy first bike on which to christen your rural adventures. tredz.co.uk For beginners The Raleigh Stow-E-Way, £1,495, is both a proper folding bike and an e-bike with a strong but light frame, making it perfect for commuters or those new to cycling. A happy mix of power and convenience! tredz.co.uk…

‘Blackcurrants are easy to incorporate into your diet,’ says Cullen. ‘There are so many options for getting your quota, including a blackcurrant smoothie, but one of my favourites is the easiest – a simple sauce that can be used on yoghurt, swirled over ice cream, layered in cheesecake and drizzled over cereals and salads. The process is simple… • Heat a generous handful of washed, destalked blackcurrants on the hob with a dash of water (add more as needed) • Allow to cool and blend using a fork or blender • Store in easy-to-use portions in the fridge or freezer • Enjoy!…

“A terrible thing happened to me while I was watching TV recently: I realised that I have aged. Now of course I know that I am ageing, it’s just that I hadn’t realised quite how old I was until I saw a contestant who I recognised on a reality TV show. Well, I didn’t recognise her but I recognised her name. I’d vaguely known her in my 20s when she’d been the femme fatale who had stolen my flatmate’s boyfriend. Today that story would be different – she’d just be the poor woman your terrible ex had inflicted himself on – but in your 20s everything is much more dramatic. I hadn’t recognised her face partly because I’d only known her through the Facebook stalking my flatmate and I had…

A report by Department adult learning is associated with greater wellbeing, fewer visits to the GP and improved mental health, and repeated studies show that people live longer and in better health if they have a sense of purpose. As our working life extends, we’re naturally more likely to want to change career path and will inevitably need to update our skills along the way. ‘Most of us aren’t going to retire at 60,’ says coach Helen McMillan, ‘so we need to adapt to the mindset of longer working lives. We can’t expect that a job we perhaps chose to train for in our late teens will necessarily sustain us for 50 or 60 years.’ A thirst for learning also makes you a more attractive employee. In the World Economic…

"After having her third child, the prospect of going back to teaching left Helen McMillan feeling flat and uninspired. ‘In theory, I had the perfect job for family life, but when I looked to the future, I felt flat and trapped by the rigid structure of my job. I didn’t want to be a teacher for the rest of my life, but I didn’t have a clue what to do or how to make a change,’ she says. Eventually, Helen consulted a career coach. ‘I was terrified at first and surprised at how hard I found admitting that I didn’t know what I wanted to do,’ she says. With her coach, Helen went through a career transition process exploring options that aligned with her interests, until she decided that she…

Crying in H Mart  by Michelle Zauner, Pan Macmillan, £16.99 This exquisitely beautiful and moving memoir by Michelle Zauner, the indie rock star known as Japanese Breakfast, recounts her ever-changing relationship with her mother – a bond of complicated affection strengthened by their shared love of Korean food, a menu of spiced, salted and pickled dishes eaten together with gusto. It was an ancestral inheritance that began with childhood holidays in Seoul with her mother’s family and survived the troubles of Zauner’s teenage years as the author, increasingly at odds with her mother’s high expectations of her, became more rebellious. But when her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and the pair grew close again, food became the taste of grief and remembrance for Zauner, as she cooks the meals…

JOANNE MALLON ‘Life is too short to be unhappy,’ says coach Joanne Mallon on page 110, where we discover the power of learning and why it boosts self-belief. ‘People want their work to have meaning and are prepared to make big changes to make that happen. But don’t worry, you don’t have to join the circus!’ SUZIE RICHARDS ‘Cycling makes you realise that you can achieve whatever you put your mind to and that confidence trickles over into all aspects of your life,’ explains performance coach Suzie Richards on page 93. ‘Standing proudly at the top of a hill you’ve just conquered, you can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.’ SARAH LOUISE RYAN ‘Keep doing what you’re passionate about,’ says relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan, as we…

“Earlier this month, I completed a 10k in aid of my charity, the Katie Piper Foundation (KPF). If you have ever successfully reached a finish line of any type, you too will know the glorious feeling of accomplishment – particularly when your efforts go to supporting something you particularly believe in or is close to your heart. This emotion is inextricably linked to purpose. More than 10 years ago, I founded the KPF – it became my focus and ultimately helped re-establish my sense of purpose. I believe this is something to which we can all relate. Purpose is personal to all of us, and a necessity if we are to thrive, not just survive. Without it, we feel lost. The run reminded me how important it is to continue…

Star letter Body and mind recovery I spent the summer recovering from major back surgery. At a low point during week two, my best friend brought around a pile of magazines – a mix of gossip, glamour and thought-provoking ones. Psychologies was my standout favourite and not a title that I had picked up before. As a woman in my 40s, with the stresses of juggling a demanding job with raising teenagers, I found so many of the articles really jumped out and spoke to me. I ordered a notebook and, from my bed, started a journal. The first few pages were dedicated to answering the ‘Questions to change your life’ (August edition, page 14) and I realised that I’ve been suppressing many things that I really want to do…

It was the image of her showering in a white bikini in the Australian jungle that propelled Myleene Klass into the spotlight and helped launch her diverse career. But she’s come a long way since those days, and family, being a role model and sharing her story of miscarriage to help others are what drive her now. Fifteen years after that memorable moment on I’m A Celebrity…, Klass sees her body in a completely different light. Not least because, since then, she’s had three children, including her miracle baby boy, Apollo, born after four devastating miscarriages that changed her perspective on life. ‘I look at my body differently now because it’s come through so much,’ she says. ‘I was given every hormone known to man to keep Apollo in there,…

Session one... Naomi* arrived for our first coaching session and went straight to the heart of the matter. ‘I need to stop procrastinating – now!’ she announced. ‘I put off every important task to the last minute. When I have a deadline looming, it haunts me, but I still find myself tidying the sock drawer, wasting hours on social media and using all sorts of delaying tactics – I even do the ironing rather than tackle the task. I wait for inspiration or for the moment to feel right before starting – and it usually comes when I am right up against the deadline,’ she said, then added despondently: ‘Now I’ve discovered that sometimes the inspiration doesn’t show up at all.’ The coach’s role in the first session is to…

‘Witnessing or experiencing a panic attack for the first time can be quite scary,’ says Dr Radha, ‘but please be assured that they are not dangerous and will subside. Most panic attacks don’t continue beyond 20 minutes. ‘Some of the key signs that you or someone you know is in the grips of an attack include excessive sweating, feeling faint, nausea, trembling and fast breathing (also known as hyperventilating). Symptoms can vary from person to person but those are the main ones to look out for,’ she says.…

Write down a few words that define happiness for you. Where do you feel happy? Who do you feel happy with? What activities bring you joy? 2 Where does your sense of happiness come from? Growing up, what influenced your world view and sense of happiness? 3 Who influences your happiness – members of your family, friends or partners? Ask yourself: Do I choose to be around this person because they make me happy or am I around this person because I am happy? Both may be true. 4 What external factors influence your happiness? Looking at Instagram is a great example – if you scroll and compare yourself to others, this is a sign to get more in tune with your personal definition of happiness, not the users that…

If you have been suffering from sleep problems since the onset of the pandemic, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. The phenomenon has been so widespread that experts have even come up with a name for it – coronasomnia. Research reveals that the number of people battling insomnia rose from one in six pre-Covid to one in four – and women are struggling in particular.* A break with our long-held routines and the blurring of boundaries between work and home – not to mention heightened anxiety about the virus – have all contributed to our collective tossing and turning into the wee hours. The study from the University of Southampton also concludes that women were more vulnerable to sleep deprivation during lockdown. The proportion of women…

IF YOU SCORED MAINLY ♥ Self-belief When sleep feels elusive, it’s easy to catastrophise about never sleeping well again or not being able to cope with the day ahead, which can have a knock-on effect on mood. It’s a vicious cycle, as sleep anxiety makes getting to sleep more challenging. For some, it can even generate dread about bedtime. You may have ‘evidence’ that you’re a poor sleeper – maybe you always find it difficult to get to sleep in a new place or if you’re out of your usual routine… The so-called perfect night’s sleep can feel like an unattainable goal, or something only others achieve. You may have tried various strategies but, if you manage to function on a daily basis, chances are that you’re getting more sleep…

Bedding  Turn your bedroom into a restful haven with the perfect bed linen for a peaceful and restorative night Eve weighted blanket, £199, evesleep.co.uk Weighted blankets create deep pressure stimulation, which is a bit like the sensation of being firmly but gently hugged. They can aid relaxation and help prevent restlessness. Most weighted blankets contain tiny glass weights or nanobeads, but this one is made from 100 per cent cotton, so it’s more like a heavy knitted blanket. It’s super snuggly and machine washable. Slumberdown CBD-infused pillow, £19.99, slumberdown.co.uk Slumberdown’s Wellbeing range includes this cotton-covered pillow, infused with lavender, aloe vera and CBD, known for its anxiety-reducing, calming properties. It’s machine washable and can be tumble-dried. Southdown wool duvet, from £145, southdownduvets.com Wool has…

Echor End of Day candle, £24.99, echor.co This soy wax candle sets the scene for a sweet night’s sleep. The essential oils – ylang-ylang, lavender, geranium and sweet orange – are 100 per cent pure and vegan-friendly, and have been shown to reduce stress hormones and lower blood pressure. Unlike some scented candles, it won’t release toxins, carcinogens or pollutants. Space relaxation masks, £15 for five, spacemasks.com Place the jasmine-infused mask over your eyes, pop the loops behind your ears and wait for it to heat up – a layer of iron filings entwine with oxygen in the air to create a gentle, warming sensation that aids relaxation. Magical! Kymira Sport Marle crew-neck T-Shirt, £60, kymirasport.com Wear this in bed to boost physical recovery…

DON’T STOP DATING Step away from the TV and phone! You both deserve to be courted in old-school ways. Dress up. Surprise each other. Make the effort to reconnect, says relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan. ME, YOU AND US Write three lists together: things you want to do alone, things your partner wants to do alone and things you want to do as a couple. Make time for the activities on your first two lists and plan a monthly event around the third. IRON OUT GRIPES Have a talk about household responsibilities and life logistics. Leave nothing unsaid so you don’t harbour resentment. This frees up date nights to be about your connection on an intellectual, emotional and physical level.…

“I have more faith in my natural abilities and am learning to chase joy when it comes to work” After 25 years at the forefront of coaching and coach training in the UK, I remain fascinated by the psychology of human experience and behaviour. As pioneers of coaching to the highest standards, our focus is to inspire personal growth and make the world a brighter place through exceptional coaching. More than 4,000 people have completed our International Coach Federation (ICF) ACTP-accredited training and students leave as confident coaches ready to make a difference.…

Tommy Ludgate The first 10 years of my career were as a singer and vocal coach. I got a taste for coaching through teacher training and was hooked by the potential benefits to the self-doubting singers all around me. I fell deeply into learning about personal development and now coach creatives to be confident in their work and find success. Laura Alfred I fell in love with coaching, which celebrates skills the business world can ignore – active listening, creating a safe place to explore ideas and never trying to fix people. Instead, coaching increases their self-awareness so they can make the right choices. Barefoot training took my natural ability and gave me a professional framework in which to operate as an effective coach. Simon Hague As I sat listening…

‘Unlike some sports, cycling is extremely varied with endless routes, terrains, ascents and descents to navigate, as well as pedestrians, traffic and other obstacles, all while riding at varying speeds,’ says Katie Higginbotham, a sports therapist. ‘It’s fair to say you need to be pretty adaptable, modifying your body position and weight distribution in the saddle and creating a strong connection between mind and muscles in order to react to different scenarios. All this adds up to much improved navigational skills, spatial awareness and a generally sharpened mind.’…

While most people imagine meditation as sitting with your eyes closed, perhaps on a yoga mat, concentrating on your breath while rain sounds play softly in the background, meditation, and mindfulness, can be anything that allows you to focus on one thing while clearing other thoughts and worries from your mind. The repetitive action of keeping the pedals turning, combined with maintaining balance, means cyclists often find their ruminations and stresses move to the background, bringing calm and inner peace. Unlike other forms of exercise, there are more components on which to focus but not too many that you can’t lose yourself, which is the ideal environment for mindfulness and meditation. Add to this the closeness to nature (even in a city, there’s a strong sense of being in the…

Fish Tacos There are lots of components to this dish, but it is quick and easy to assemble – and it never fails to impress my friends. I love the zestiness of the lime with the fish. The key to success with the salsa is to chop everything as finely as you can. SERVES 2 (GF DF) 781 cals | 28g fat | 5g saturated fat | 42g protein | 14g fibre | 83g carbs | 12g sugars | 2g salt For the fish: • All but ½ tsp of the spice mix (see below) • 1 tbsp olive oil • 1 tsp chipotle paste • Zest of 1 lime • 2 skinned fillets of fish, cubed For the spice mix: • 1 tsp ground cumin • ½ tsp dried…

Be inspired by pioneers in the workplace. Everyone on the 2021 Power List was hired, or promoted, on a part-time basis. Read their stories at timewise.co.uk/ power-list/winners-2021 QI feel stuck in my job, but I am worried about leaving. I love my boss and colleagues, and they supported me when I came back to work for four days a week after maternity leave. I’m frustrated because everyone seems to be moving up career , s I develop my . My daughter is three and I am 40. We want another child, but what if I got a new job and then fell pregnant? I keep going around in circles in my head and can’t figure out my next steps. Can you help? Would your boss be open to a conversation…

Did spending more time doing the things you enjoy during lockdown reignite past passions, or reveal new ones? Or has uncertainty about your job made you question what you want to do next? Either way, the pandemic has prompted many of us to revaluate what we want, how we work and spend our time. ‘The human capacity to rise up from life’s shittier moments is incredible,’ says Grace Marshall, a coach and author of Struggle: The Surprising Truth, Beauty And Opportunity Hidden In Life’s Sh*ttier Moments. ‘As we’ve seen, life can be really hard at times, but out of struggle often comes opportunity.’ “Life is too short to be unhappy. People want their work to have meaning and are prepared to make big changes to make it happen” From brushing…

Ask yourself the following questions to help you discover where your passions lie: • When have you felt both powerful and at peace? • What would you be doing if you knew you couldn’t fail? • If you didn’t have to do a job for money, what would you do? • Was there a work or college project that particularly absorbed you? • What was it about the project that captivated you? • What did you want to be when you grew up? • What do you think other people come to you for? • Write down five things you are good at in your life today…

“The number-one topic that shows up in my one-to-one coaching work, regardless of an individual’s gender, race, class, age or job title, is the subject of ‘not feeling good enough’. The more common psychological reference is the term impostor syndrome, coined by psychologists Pauline Clancy Rose and Suzanne Imes – and it comes as a result of the great expectations we place on ourselves. One quick journalling tool to respond to this is to make bullet points of your achievements, large or small. Jo* arrived at a session feeling overwhelmed and suffering from comparison fatigue. I invited her to list her successes over the past 12 months, and almost immediately she found herself feeling more hopeful and positive. Naming your successes on paper is a simple way of internalising and…

I hope it’s not inauspicious to start at the end but I know that, soon enough, this will all be over. At some point in the (hopefully not-too-near) future, I will write my last column. I don’t claim to know how it will happen. Perhaps after a wildly successful run I will voluntarily step down with regal grace and aplomb. Or maybe, one Friday afternoon, it will be some kindly person’s unenviable task to gently – but firmly – tell me that ‘we’ve decided to go in another direction’. Either way, my time will be up. And, as I settle down to write these first words, I am deliberate in reminding myself of that. Knowing that my tenure as columnist is limited allows me to see it for what it…

Psychologies’ mission is to provide you with inspiration and advice to support you to improve your emotional wellbeing. We aim to help you boost your happiness and resilience and lower your stress and anxiety. We do this by providing simple, achievable steps to make small changes that can add up to a real difference. Embracing the four pillars of your life, from mind and body to heart and soul, Psychologies engages with the world around us as well as the world within to help you discover inspiring ways to make every day better and create a life you love.…

WATCH – Oasis Knebworth 1996 is in cinemas from 23 September, marking 25 years since the record-breaking shows. The documentary includes archive and backstage footage, plus interviews with the band and fans. oasisknebworth1996.com LOOK – See The Four Seasons in one day at RHS Garden Harlow Carr in Harrogate, Yorkshire. These larger-than-life, season-themed busts by US artist Philip Haas form a sculpture trail available to view until summer 2022. rhs.org.uk LISTEN – I’ve Been Thinking... is a podcast with historian Peter Frankopan interviewing high-profile people about topics that inform the past, present and future. Guests include ex-FBI chief James Comey and anthropologist Alice Roberts. globalplayer.com…

My dad, Fifty years have passed since you were taken suddenly from us. I still feel the loss of never having given you or received a kiss or a hug. Back then, affection wasn’t expressed outwardly as it fortunately is today. I can still hear you laugh as you told me stories of when you were young. You had great fun with your friends. I also loved going places with you and being your helping hand. Your gift to me of a piano is as precious now as it was when I was 10 years old. I am eternally grateful to you for opening up the world of music to me. Music sustains me to this day. You’ll smile as I tell you that your gift is benefiting the next…

There are many reasons people waste time instead of getting on and doing things. Figuring out what lies behind your procrastination is the first step towards change. If you regularly put off important tasks in favour of less-important ones, consider the following list of potential reasons for your procrastination. Which reasons resonate most for you? Score yourself from 1-5 – with 1 being not applicable and 5 being highly applicable – to assess your reasons for procrastination. Poor time-management, decision-making or prioritisation skills Not having the knowledge or skills to complete the task Fear of failure. Do you feel it is better to be unsuccessful because you ran out of time instead of not being good enough? Fear of success. Is your procrastination protecting you from being given more work…

1 Ground yourself by bringing focus to wherever you feel your body making contact with something solid (the floor or the chair). Now feel the breath entering through your nostrils or mouth, down into your lungs, your ribcage and then out again. 2 From your list above, bring in one of the situations where you felt lonely. Allow your mind to pull out memories and then drop into your body to sense the feelings they bring up. Imagine exactly where they are – the edges, size and texture. Now, imagine on your in breath that you’re bringing in kindness (something like warmth or sunlight) to those areas and on your out breath that you’re letting out the toxins (dark smoke). To finish, place your hand over your heart area and…

If you or someone you know is experiencing a panic attack, there are a number of things you can do to assist, as Dr Radha explains… • Stay calm: While witnessing or experiencing a panic attack can be distressing, it’s important to stay calm and remind yourself that it will pass. • Stay where you are: If possible, it’s best to stay put until the attack subsides. • Accept: Tell yourself that you are doing fine – this is just a collection of symptoms caused by adrenaline, which will soon calm down. • Stomp on the spot: It might sound odd, but rhythmically stomping your feet can help relieve stress and get your breathing under control. • Breathe slowly and deeply: Remember to breathe in a measured, deep way to…

Growing up as a gay man amid the Aids crisis of the 1980s gave me a secure sense of myself, resilience and empathy for the distress and pain of others. These factors led me to psychotherapy as a career. It took time before I found the philosophy that best suits my beliefs and values, which I recognised in constructivism via neurolinguistic programming (NLP). I have an interest in the ‘hows’ of life; how we interpret our experiences, how we put our values and beliefs into practice and how we came to have those values and beliefs. I offer options and new perspectives and, as an extrovert, have the ability to fully engage with clients. lifetidetraining.co.uk…

Feel Amazing app, £60, ailsafrank.com Self-help author and hypnotherapist Ailsa Frank’s hypnosis recording is suitable for anyone wishing to enjoy a good night’s sleep. It’s free as part of the Feel Amazing app and tackles sleep issues such as wakefulness, night-time worrying, bad dreams and difficulty falling asleep. Clementine app, £49.99, clementineapp.com This hypnotherapy app is designed to help busy women overcome anxiety and self-doubt, feel calm and get a better night’s sleep through a combination of self-hypnosis, mantras and coaching. Try the deep sleep sessions to help you unwind, relax and sleep well. Sleep School app, £29.99, sleepschool.org The Sleep School was founded by sleep physiologist Guy Meadows and entrepreneur Adrian Baxter with the mission to help people sleep well. The Sleep School…

Toniebox, £69.95, tonies.com This screen-free digital audio player is portable and easy for little ones to operate. Simply pop a figure on top of the box for story time to begin! There are loads of charming Tonies to choose from on the website. Bloom And Blossom The BFG’s Pillow Spray, £10, bloomandblossom.com This relaxing spray smells gorgeous. It’s suitable for sensitive skin and those prone to eczema. It’s also paediatrician and dermatologist-approved and suitable from birth. Panda Kids memory foam bamboo pillow, £34.95, mypandalife.com This hypoallergenic pillow (for children aged four and older) is supportive and comforting. It has a natural, silky soft bamboo cover and comes with a 10-year guarantee.…

WATCH the romantic comedy Sex And The City 2 on Netflix. Carrie and Big’s efforts to make their marriage more like their dating days should raise a smile. READ Love Is Coming: How To Find Real Love In A Superficial World by Persia Lawson (Book Printing, £9.99; persialawson.com). Whether you’re in a relationship or looking for love, this book has fresh insights. LISTEN to Diary, She Wrote by Liz Beardsell – a compelling podcast about sex, relationships and modern dating based on more than 10,000 diary entries.…

1 Friends aren’t psychic and, if you’re quiet, they might think you’re busy and won’t want to bother you. Be proactive. Send a text and suggest some dates to get together. 2 Stop wasting time with friendships that feel superficial. The key to thriving is human connection, so focus on those relationships that foster a connected feeling. 3 Seek out people who are emotionally intelligent and who will take risks in conversation by opening up and sharing their vulnerabilities. The best friends are not always the noisiest people or the ones who put themselves forward, but they are often the richest emotionally and will provide a deeper connection that is important for a feeling of fulfilment in friendship.…

1 Tommy helped me realise that I shouldn’t put a cap on my potential for success. I have achieved things in the past year that I didn’t think were possible – professionally and personally. Now, whenever I catch myself thinking, ‘That will never happen!’ I try to ask myself, ‘But why not?’ I definitely wouldn’t have had that mindset shift if it wasn’t for my coaching with Tommy. 2 Coaching introduced me to the concept of the ‘zone of genius’ – the space where your skills and passions collide and it has had a huge impact on me. I used to struggle with impostor syndrome and self-doubt, but I now have way more faith in my natural abilities and am learning to chase joy when it comes to work. 3…

Eat well Matcha made in heaven There’s something wonderfully ritualistic about making a mug of naturally sweet matcha in the morning, taking a short moment to pause before the day begins. It’s a simple alternative to the hurried cup of coffee we plonk on our work desks, providing slow-release energy from L-theanine, radiance-boosting chlorophyll, plus the benefits of antioxidants and anti-inflammatories. Organic Matcha, £35, casacuraofficial.com a happy takeaway If you re torn between Indian or pizza, why not try allowing your emotions to guide you, rather than your taste buds? Researchers* tested study participants’ happiness levels before and after they ordered different takeaway meals. Those ordering Indian had the highest boost in mood, with an 83 per cent increase, followed by sushi at 73 per cent and burgers at 70 per…

‘Cycling brings adventures akin to those experienced when you first learned to ride a bike as a child,’ says Richards. ‘It provides a sense of possibility, a mode of transport that allows travel and fitness all rolled into one. It creates memories that last a lifetime and stories that can be told down the pub. It gives you experiences that empower and teach you to trust yourself. It also gives you courage in your abilities and confidence to step into the unknown.’…

For chillier climes On colder days, these Comet Glove Adventure biking gloves, £23.99, offer maximum protection with minimal padding to give you exceptional grip and feel on the handlebars. alpkit.com For maximum visibility Best for dusk rides, the REFLECT360 Women’s cycling jacket, £89.99, is fleece-lined, waterproof and supremely reflective to keep you safe and seen. provizsports.com For that time of the month Thinx cycle shorts, £53.85, have a convenient front pocket to hold a small heat pack to soothe menstrual cramps and come in a variety of absorbency levels, so you can do away with bothersome pads while riding. shethinx.com For safe travels Designed with commuters in mind, the lightweight Bern Hudson MIPS helmet, £109.99, is one of the safest pieces of headwear on the market and features an integrated…

IN THEORY In the UK, you have the legal right to ask to work part-time, flexitime, term-time only or during hours that fit in with your childcare arrangements. You can also ask to work at home. Your employer must consider your request. This applies after you have been working for the same employer full-time for at least 26 weeks. You can ask to work flexibly in other circumstances, but it’s not a legal duty for the employer to consider it. IN PRACTICE It’s best to treat this as a series of conversations rather than a sudden demand. You are asking your employer to be flexible, so it’s a good idea to be prepared for compromise on your side as well. Perhaps agree to a trial period of about six months…

Grace Marshall is a coach who helps individuals and firms be more productive. She is the author of ‘Struggle: The Surprising Truth, Beauty And Opportunity Hidden In life’s Sh*ttier Moments’ (Practical Inspiration Publishing, £9.99).gracemarshall.com Joanne Mallon is a life and career coach and author of ‘Find Your Why: How To Discover Your True Purpose And Live Life To The Full’ (Summersdale, £10.99). Find her at opposablethumbs blog.com and Twitter and Instagram @joannemallon…

CREATE a mood board with words, pictures and ideas that inspire you and look for themes that emerge and clues about what you might wish to do next (or learn more about). This will help you uncover your passions and purpose. LEARN For a range of online courses – from creative arts and history to personal development and upgraded business skills, check out linkedin.com, skillshare.com, futurelearn.com and uklearns.pearson.com READ The 100-Year Life: Living And Working In an Age Of Longevity by Lynda Gratton and Andrew J Scott (Bloomsbury, £10.99).…

One of the few positives to emerge from the past year and a half has been the transformation of the workplace. The acceleration of hybrid working has a way working employees and employers are reaping the benefits. Karren Brady’s Women in Business & Tech Expo, from 13 to 14 October online, is the place to meet employers that are embracing the future of work. Be inspired by business leaders on the frontline of progress, connect with top companies committed to diversity and inclusion, mobilising female leadership, and get actionable advice on how to progress in your career or scale your business. Whether you are a woman in tech, actively job-seeking, returning to work after a career break, considering setting up your own business or have an existing business you want…