Innholdsfortegnelse for May 2021 i Psychologies

Vee Sey Journalist and writer Vee writes our ‘What my mother never told me’ column (page 32). She has written for national newspapers and magazines in the UK and South Africa. In her column, she draws on her life experience and shares her wisdom, often learned the hard way and with a self-deprecating chuckle! ‘I hope some of the lessons I have learned on my self-development journey will resonate with readers,’ says Vee. ‘I am just a fallible woman bumbling along trying to be happy. I write with brutal honesty because only by confronting the truth can we redirect our lives.’ Jackee Holder Writer and coach Jackee is a coach and facilitator working in organisation and leadership development. She has a fire in her belly about the wellbeing benefits of…

Share your photographs and comments with us on Instagram @psychologiesmagazine, or tweet us @PsychologiesMag, both using #PsychologiesMagazine @Ellen_Tout: A lovely mix of green inspiration on The Fix pages  of @PsychologiesMag this month, including @Georgina_WP brilliant new book, @Healthyhappy50 uplifting ‘Joy of SUP’ podcast and the film @against_tides. @against_tides: We’re honoured to have been named film of the  month by @PsychologiesMag, which called it ‘beautifully shot, moving and exhilarating’! @TaniaDiggory: With spring emerging, in my live video on  @PsychologiesMag Facebook I share a range of tips on how to cope with feeling overwhelmed, so you can plan for the new season feeling aligned with what matters most. @headtoheart108: Saturday eve is as good a time as any to catch  up on your @PsychologiesMag reading. @janie saysyeah: I had five minutes of…

CREATED BY DESIGNERS Maisie Benson and Holly Kielty, Think Food Bank is a brilliantly creative campaign that aims to take on food poverty with guerrilla stickers. After noticing that often the only reminder about food banks is the donation station at supermarket exits, the duo illustrated stickers that can be craftily placed in the aisles. ‘We want our stickers to be wherever a shopper might think to donate. It’s easy for people to forget about food banks until after they’ve paid for their shopping,’ says Benson. Kielty adds: ‘Design has the power to do so much good, and we saw that there was a simple solution to a wider problem.’ • For more, see @thinkfoodbank Don’t forget to donate food to those less fortunate: That’s the message from designers Holly…

PEOPLE OFTEN AVOID pursuing their purpose because it can feel dangerous. Your brain is wired to desire acceptance from others, and approval seeks good sense. However, passion is rarely sensible! The key to understanding what you truly want is to listen to your heart, not your head. If you make a choice and you don’t love it, your heart will protest loudly. And yet, if your heart says yes, your brain knows there’s little point arguing. Approaching life from your truth and joy is the only route to true satisfaction and fulfilment so, when looking to uncover your purpose, find what makes you happy and explore its opportunities. Join Kia Cannons for our ‘Do What You Love’ video series and more happy hacks at tinyurl.com/psyhappyhack; psychologiestv.co.uk is a platform where world-class…

Would you consider yourself an activist? Are you politically engaged? If you had asked me a few years ago, I would have said yes. It helped that I worked in a news organisation, but I wasn’t just aware of the news, I was active in it. I went on marches, wrote letters to my MP, campaigned and pushed for change where I saw injustice. Then, a few years ago, I ran out of steam. Politics is a huge beast that requires stamina. I had been fighting to right wrongs with the mistaken belief that if I could just explain to people why I thought they were wrong, they would agree and everything would change. That’s not how it happens. Women before me campaigned on the same issues and moved them…

Are you overly optimistic? • Do you regularly count your blessings and conveniently gloss over the bad stuff? • Do you let opportunities pass you by because you believe you deserve better and more? • Do you blame the universe for not helping you instead of working hard to make the best out of a negative situation? • Are you in a rush to be successful in certain areas of your life, such as work or love? Are you overly pessimistic? • Do you constantly expect the worst, then cite your predictions when something undesirable happens to you? • When something positive happens, do you consider it a lucky accident? • Do you give up easily when faced with a tricky situation? • Do you hold onto resentment and struggle…

Q A year ago, my fiance and I were happy. We both work long hours, and I would look forward to Friday nights when we came together for the weekend. For the past year, however, with us both working from home, we get on each other’s nerves and sometimes I literally cannot bear to be around him. I am scared this is a sign that we may split up. What do you think? Name supplied A You might be experiencing a low point in extraordinary circumstances, but the only way to know is by saying what’s on your mind and listening to the response. You can’t go into marriage relying on signs. Perhaps say: ‘I want us to be the kind of partners who talk about what matters – how…

Rachel Weikel I REALISED THAT life was precious after a miscarriage and grief brought me clarity. Although I was doing well 20 years into my career, it didn’t suit me any more. I remembered a friend’s career advice – to look at the books I would never discard. My next step had been sitting on my bookshelves for years! After consulting my network to find the right course for me, I completed training with Barefoot and agreed an exit from my employer to start a new career as a coach. Jayne Morris I HAD BEEN BURNING the candle at both ends in a fast-paced marketing role in the city. A leadership coaching course came up at work and I felt drawn to the concept of exploring work-life balance. I found…

“Some things should happen on soft pages, not cold metal”HARPER LEE, AUTHOR OF TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, IN A LETTER TO OPRAH WINFREY I WAS REMINDED OF THE POWER of letter writing as a journal practice when I attended a workshop hosted by author Elizabeth Gilbert. Liz, as she is known, had us write a series of six letters for six minutes – not from us to other people, but between us and emotional concepts, such as fear, as a way of exploring our creativity. We started the letters with, ‘Dear (insert your name), I am your fear, and this is what I want to tell you…’ There were moments when replying to themes, such as persistence, enchantment and permission, when I could have been a monk scribing an ancient…

1 Am I making this decision from the adult part of me? 2 Am I making or not making this choice to please somebody else? 3 What will be the consequences if I choose or don’t choose this – for me and for other people? 4 What am I hoping for in choosing or not choosing this? 5 What am I afraid of in choosing or not choosing this? 6 When have I felt this fear before, and what was going on? 7 How old was I when I felt afraid like this? 8 When I was afraid before, what did part of me decide was true about me, others and the world? 9 Is the inner, fearful part of me driving my life now? 10 Do I need help…

• TheUK Council for Psychotherapy(UKCP) is the leading research, innovation, educational and  regulatory body working to advance psychotherapy for the benefit of all. We have a register of more than 8,000 individual members, who offer a range of therapy approaches for couples, individuals, families and groups. We also have more than 70 training and accrediting organisations for those who wish to become psychotherapists. • To find the right therapist for you or learn how to become a therapist, visit psychotherapy.org.uk…

DO YOU FIND YOURSELF DOING THE OPPOSITE of what you know is good for you? Do you scupper your own chances of success, or procrastinate endlessly? Do you regularly break promises to yourself? Is your inner critic so loud you feel as if a bully lives inside your head? Do you sometimes think: why on earth did I agree to that? I don’t want that for my life. In this Dossier, Nathalie Hourihan takes us through a therapeutic process called Internal Family Systems, created by psychotherapist Richard Schwartz. We follow her as she tries to heal her past and find new ways to thrive. She invites us to practise powerful visualisations for ourselves, so we too can go on an inner journey. This month, it’s all about nurturing and reparenting…

1 Your core values revolve around: ♥ Reaching your full potential ◆ Making a difference • Kindness and compassion ■ Being your best self 2 When asked how you are, your default response is: ■ To protect people from how you’re feeling ♥ Usually about how busy you are ◆ To seek reassurance about a problem that you have • Something along the lines of: ‘I am OK. How are you?’ 3 You feel most contented when: ♥ You’ve reached the end of your to-do list • You’re not in the spotlight ◆ You’re with people who value you ■ You’ve started a new self-development project 4 You can find it hard to make time for: ■ Fun • Yourself ◆ New things ♥ Relaxation 5 You most feel like…

“Polyphenols include resveratrol in red grapes and flavonols in dark chocolate… so, yes, chocolate and a glass of red is good for your gut!” PHYTOCHEMICALS are chemical compounds found in plant-based foods. They are, essentially, the pigments that give plants their colour and they have an enriching effect on the gut microbiota. Crucially, phytochemicals contain antioxidant properties, which means they have disease-fighting attributes and help protect the entire body from free radicals – molecules that can cause inflammation and damage to cells. Polyphenols are one of the most researched sub-categories of phytochemicals and can be subdivided into many groups, including lignans, found in seeds and whole grains, and stilbenoids, including resveratrol, in red grapes and wine. Anthocyanin is also well known and is found in blueberries and other dark berries…

1 The High House By Jessie Greengrass (Swift Press, £14.99) Jessie Greengrass’s novel is marked by grief for a natural world that has reached the point of catastrophe. Sequestered in a house high above the rising waterline, half-siblings Pauly and Caro survive the disaster. They learn to sew and grow, preserve their energy and try to be an ordinary family in extraordinary circumstances. A disquieting look at a precarious future, but consoling – as courage and companionship prove as essential to human survival as food and fuel. 2 Early Morning Riser By Katherine Heiny (HarperCollins, £14.99) An unsentimental but ultimately sweet love story set in small-town America. Jane is smitten with handsome Duncan from day one. She’s new to town, while he has slept with pretty much everyone in the…

There is nothing better than coming home after a hard day’s work to the appetising aroma of a hearty meal wafting through the house. Our busy lives mean there is little time for slaving over a hot stove but, thankfully, slow cookers are handy and loyal kitchen companions throughout the year. For satisfying one-pot meals, simply add your ingredients, let the magic happen and return a few hours later to a wholesome, home-cooked meal. Chef Katrina Meynink believes one-pot slow-cooking need not be boring, just because it’s convenient. In her book, ‘Slow Victories’ (Hardie Grant, £16.99), she shows us how to conjure up feasts fit for a foodie. Alongside inspiring, modern recipes, you will find tips and tricks for stocking your pantry and fridge for slow-cooking greatness – easy-peasy and…

1 Bringing Up Britain Anjula Mutanda has taken over from Mariella Frostrup on this Radio 4 series, and she is asking the questions she wants answered as a mother. The topics are often spookily prescient, but you can scroll through the episodes to find the parenting problem you’re grappling with and get help. Her interviewees are reassuring experts and the dilemmas are quite fascinating. 2 Lockdown Parenting Hell Nowhere else have I heard my parenting frustrations reflected so accurately and amusingly, even though comedians Josh Widdicombe and Rob Beckett make me gasp with shock at times! This is blokey, sweary and often goes off on irrelevant tangents, but it is hilarious. There’s something refreshing about hearing fathers talk about the often tedious tasks we have to perform as parents. 3…

It’s been a tough 12 months so, in this issue, we’re focusing on how we can restore ourselves. In our Dossier on page 48, Nathalie Hourihan takes us through a therapeutic process called Internal Family Systems to see if she can heal her past and find new ways to survive and thrive in the world. She gives us practical tools to concentrate on recovery and renewal. We also encourage you to reach out to people who can raise you up. ‘Women support women – they are the bedrock of my sanity,’ says our inspirational cover star, Olympian Denise Lewis. Vee Sey helps us define who our real friends are in her column on page 32. ‘Genuine friends stand by your side while your life falls apart,’ she says. Ali Roff…

CAT’S WHISKERS MY PARTNER, PATRYCJA, has been a Psychologies reader for many years and recently became a subscriber. Every issue contains so much! We enjoy the magazine together and receiving it in the post is a little slice of joy. Even our furry friend Lolly (pictured) takes a peek! Many thanks from us all. George I’d like to thank… My partner, James We met during lockdown last year and both worked hard as frontline key workers as the pandemic changed all our lives. When we both contracted Covid in January, you put my needs before yours – a sign of true love. Even though you were sick and tired yourself, you looked after me for weeks while I was poorly. You saw me exhausted, vulnerable and grumpy, but you took…

I’M SO EXCITED to reveal my debut book! It’s been a pleasure to write for Psychologies about sustainability, and food waste is a topic that captured my heart. I love to cook, but there’s so much we discard – fruit and veg skins, peels, seeds, offcuts and ends. I searched for a low-waste, plant-based cookbook and found none. I was inspired by ‘compleating’(eating all edible parts of fruits, vegetables and herbs to reduce waste and make delicious, nutritious and creative meals) and knew that if I didn’t write this book, I’d regret it. After a year of writing and cooking through lockdowns, here it is! Reader offer! Ellen’s book ‘The Complete Book Of Vegan Compleating’ (Nourish, £14.99) is available for pre-order now. ‘Psychologies’ readers can save 30% with the offer…

You can learn to focus on the positive, says our resilience champion, Katie Piper, who reframes joyful feelings as a choice of simple habits AT TIMES, IT MIGHT feel as though you’re the only one who struggles to be in high spirits – but happiness is something you have to work at continuously. According to psychologists, there are a number of little things you can do that have a big impact on your wellbeing. Easy practices to change your mindset and grow optimism: 1 Smile. You tend to smile when you’re happy, but if you change your physiology by smiling, your mood will brighten too. 2 Exercise. Mind and body are linked and, when you exercise, you release feel-good hormones. 3 Get plenty of sleep. Having enough…

Q For some years, I have been aware of my wife’s desire to explore her sexuality by having sex with other partners as a one-off or occasional activity. I love her deeply and we have always enjoyed a marvellous sex life together. I have no strong desire for other women. I would, I think, be pleased to see her fulfilled in this way. She, however, fears that I would be hurt and that our long relationship would suffer. I am not sure that I could share her without some anguish, but I believe I could also gain another level of maturity. I believe that, at some point, we may take the plunge and would welcome advice on alleviating the pain. Name supplied A An open relationship puts pressure on everyone…

FIND Psychologies’ partnership with Barefoot Coaching gives you the tools to find a coach who meets your needs. Barefoot Coaching has been at the forefront of coaching and coach training for 25 years. It has a proven track record as a provider of high-level coaching and coach training to organisations and senior executives, nationally and internationally. TRAIN Train as a coach: The Barefoot Coaching ICF ACTPaccredited PG Cert in Business and Personal Coaching is one of the most well-established coach training courses in the UK. Barefoot runs regular, free introductions to coach training throughout the year. BOOK NOW! VISIT Barefootcoaching.co.uk/taster-mornings…

1 For someone who has experienced sexual trauma, therapy may be the first time that they break their silence. When I work with these clients, firstly and most importantly, I always believe them and listen to their story in full. 2 Coming to therapy shows strength, and I want to ensure my clients know that they are in a secure and supportive environment. I do my utmost to create a place where they can pace themselves and their story to avoid further traumatisation. 3 Consent is empowering. I make it a priority to model consent in my consulting room. Fostering that understanding in the psychotherapeutic relationship allows a client to feel in control of how the relationship unfolds. I never book a second session with a client during…

Once, I lied about owning a dog. Not only was this untrue – I have never owned a dog – the statement leapt from my mouth without warning! This event was weird and unsettling. It was also unfortunate, given that I was in the middle of a job interview. " Subpersonalities drive our thoughts and behaviour. They also trigger knee-jerk reactions that we come to regret” The woman who sat across from me was warm and effusive. I liked her immediately. The trouble was that I both did and did not want the job that was on offer. Or rather, I very much wanted a different version of it – one without all the travel. After too many years of too many hotels, I dreaded the idea of being away…

1 Select a part. For example, one of the parts that needed to step back during the meditation on page 52. 2 Focus on this one part. Spend time with it. Find it in your body. 3 Draw an image of the part. It does not have to be a work of art, just illustrate the part in a way that means something to you. 4 Wait for a shift. Focus inward again on the part you just drew. Another part will emerge. Be patient. Once another part appears, add its image to the page. 5 Repeat these steps: focus on a part, wait for another part to appear, then draw it. 6 Stop when you feel the cluster is done or you have…

TAME YOUR MONKEY MIND Our restless, racing and untethered thoughts are often described as the ‘monkey mind’. In Buddhism, there is a word in the Pali language especially dedicated to describing this – papancha. The monkey mind swings from thought to thought. As we seize one thought and then another, we move along different tangents – spending much mental time and energy getting mostly nowhere. And we’re often unconscious that it’s even happening. Mindfulness is the observation of the monkey mind, the harnessing of this mental energy, and the conscious direction of it. Highlighter of your day A highlighter is a perfect way to enhance your natural glow. I love this palette featuring four shades to blend and layer. It creates a customisable intensity so, whether you’re having a night…

GARDENS OCCUPY more land across the UK than nature reserves. They are, therefore, vital homes for wildlife. Imagine them as a patchwork of beneficial areas for species to travel through to find food and safety, and in which to thrive. When talking about what we perceive as pests, think about how to reduce damage, rather than erase it – because pollinators are essential for growing. For example, I had a wasps’ nest on my allotment plot. The wasps caused no harm and were advantageous for produce such as courgettes, squash and cucumbers. Spraying or treating crops is an outdated practice: it isn’t selective, kills everything and damages nutrients in the soil. Cover vulnerable crops, such as brassicas, with protective enviromesh as soon as you plant them out. You could also…

“We can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of effort is the same” Pema Chödrön is our favourite wise woman. Beloved Buddhist teacher author nun and mother she has inspired millions of people around the world who have been touched by her example and message of practising peace in these turbulent times. The Pema Chödrön Foundation is dedicated to preserving and sharing Pema’s inspiration and teachings in order that they might help us all awaken wisdom and compassion in ourselves and the world around us. pemachodronfoundation.org To buy her books, go to bookdepository.com; betterworldbooks.com…

STRINGING THE PIECES TOGETHER I FOUND ELLEN TOUT’S Eco Worrier column about the ethics of knitting with wool (April) thought-provoking. Over the past few years, I have tried to reduce my plastic usage and my goal is to live as natural a life as possible. In the latest lockdown, I started knitting again after a hiatus of several years. I hadn’t considered the type of yarn I used until I read Ellen’s column. I had assumed that ‘proper’ wool would be best, without understanding the process and ethics of wool production. Lots of food for thought! Keep up the great work. I look forward to reading Ellen’s column every month. Jo…

What fills your tank, and what drains it? This beautiful illustration is from the new book by Lisa Congdon, You Will Leave A Trail Of Stars. An artist, educator, speaker and author of several books, Congdon says: ‘Make space. Get enough rest. Be curious. Read books. Watch films. Listen to podcasts. Go look at art. Get out into the world. Go to therapy. Participate in a revolution. Uncover your own story. Find what feeds you.’ Colourful and wise inspiration on every page. • ‘You Will Leave A Trail Of Stars: Words Of Inspiration For Blazing Your Own Path’ by Lisa Congdon (Chronicle, £11.99)…

IS YOUR PHONE FULL OF PHOTOS you forget to look at? The new book Do Photo provides an antidote to snapping mindlessly and guides us towards a more considered eye. Written by photographer and director Andrew Paynter, it explores how the powers of observation, easing back a while and mindfully capturing a moment ensures better results. Paynter shares practices honed over a career behind the lens and encourages you to fully see your surroundings, be more connected to your inner self and craft pictures with care. Paynter fell in love with photography when his grandmother had dementia and he realised that the family’s albums could be a way to engage with her memory. He says: ‘Together, we would flip through prints of family gatherings, holidays and daily life. They seemed…

OUR Dossier this month helps you overcome triggers to end self-sabotage. Our in-house coach, Nikki Peterson, shares four questions to ask yourself: • What do I need most to nurture myself? • How can I speak more kindly to myself? • How can I practise saying no more easily? • How can I ensure that my values are more aligned with everything I do? BY EXPLORING THESE questions, you can reveal where you are sabotaging yourself. By asking: who or what do I need more of in my life, and who or what do I need less of or to eliminate, you can begin being kinder to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. ‘Psychologies’ team coach Nikki Peterson hosts our live coaching hour at 3pm every…

Q I live with two other people – one I barely see and the other is quite unpleasant. It’s not so much what she says, but her tone and manner. She can be short with me and then, a few hours later, she can be friendly and nice again. The change can be abrupt. I’ve told her that it upsets me and asked if I have done anything wrong, but she said no. How can I stop this making me so upset and angry? Name supplied A This situation sounds tough to handle – when the world outside is disrupted and uncertain, it’s difficult to deal with domestic unpredictability as well. It’s worth trying to raise the subject with her again, using a slightly different approach called the situation-behaviour-impact method…

Eliza Woodbury worked with Barefoot-trained coach Rachel Weikel to figure out her next career steps. ‘After six years of establishing myself in a demanding tech career, I finally felt financially ready to ask myself: “What else do I want to explore?” I knew I could stay on my career path for years,’ says Eliza, ‘but what would be the cost to me?’ 1 I arrived at my first session ready to cover the usual big career questions. Rachel listened to me talk, then suggested we go through some free writing and guided visualisation exercises. I felt a little disconnected at first, but then it was liberating to let my mind play with ideas, rather than relentlessly drive towards answers. 2 I wrote a list of my values and stuck them…

WE CAN’T MAKE people love us – that I grasp intellectually, so why do I court uninterested queen bees who do not return my feelings? Let me take you back to my first day of school, when I was bewitched by Octavia, Princess of Reception – this may not be her real name. I wanted her to like me from the moment her lustrous plait swished across my face as she swivelled her pretty head to stare me down with steel and ice. After following her around like a cartoon spy for the morning, I gently tugged that plait to get her attention and got a gap-toothed ‘Leave. Me. Alone’ in response. You be the organ grinder… Octavia led me a not-so-merry dance of hot and cold. She was benevolent…

WHAT IS CONSENT? Do we always know when consent has been given? With a  lack of education around consent and little in the media showing how healthy sexual relationships should be, do we really understand how to give consent, or when we have it from someone else? In the accompanying podcast with psychotherapist Silva Neves, I seek to uncover why consent is more complicated than we think, and why open discussion is necessary. UKCP psychotherapist Silva Neves explores sexual consent – what it is and why education is critical Sex may seem simple and natural, but many people are confused about how to have sexual relationships. The lack of understanding stems from poor sex education. If we taught primary schoolchildren age-appropriate lessons around boundaries, respecting differences and expressing yourself clearly,…

AS A GAY MAN WHO GREW UP in a rural area, I often felt alone and disconnected. I didn’t know there were other people like me. In the city, I met my LGBTQIA+ community and was amazed at the healing power of human connection. During my original psychotherapy training, I knew I was going to be a humanistic and relational therapist. I then became a College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists-accredited psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist and a trauma therapist. I’m passionate about offering a relational and therapeutic space for my clients, including those from the LGBTQIA+ community. Along the way, I also found joy in helping therapists grow and flourish in my role as a clinical supervisor and connecting with my psychotherapy community. I feel grateful to be a psychotherapist…

IN THE WEEKS AFTER my first brush with IFS, my career dilemma was resolved. The more I negotiated on travel, the less attractive I became as a candidate. Eventually, we agreed that I was not right for the job. One part of me was relieved. Another felt disappointed. A third woke me in the night worried about how I would survive. The episode pushed me to leave my employer of 20 years. I went freelance in the hopes of a more balanced life. Back to the beginning " Every time I got parts to step back, I noticed an innate healing presence. I gained access to something larger and wiser than all my selves” As I began to live a less frenzied existence, I fell prey to the feelings that…

MY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL FRIEND By Tracey Thorn (Canongate, £16.99) Tracey Thorn and Lindy Morrison have been friends for 37 years. They met at London’s Lyceum when Lindy was the drummer in a cult band and Tracey was at the start of her musical adventure, and bonded over the frustrations of being women in bands. This is a tender and funny look at a long-standing relationship. Brimming with chatty insight, it traces the meandering paths of their friendship as quiet, diffident Tracey slowly understands that Lindy, who seems bold as a warrior, is actually rather vulnerable, while Tracey discovers her own bravery. Above all, it pinpoints the joy of connection – ‘We’re alike and unalike, but I think we see each other, and being seen is everything.’ Love is that…

LET THE SEASON SET THE AGENDA SPRING PRESENTS US with a window of opportunity and can be one of the busiest times in the gardening year. The soil is getting warmer, we have almost passed the last frosts and the remnants of April showers are keeping things moist. Now is the time for serious planting. I’ve never been especially good at waiting for the right moment in life – once I have an idea, I want to get on and execute it. This year, I’m feeling the urge to get out there more than ever, but there is a lesson every gardener must learn: you can’t fight nature. We have all at one time or another lost a handful of newly planted treasures to a surprise frost or a heatwave.…

SLOW COOKERS can be a godsend in the kitchen. With a bit of morning prep, delicious meals practically make themselves, delivering healthy, home-cooked suppers after a long day. Models come in a range of prices with varying functions, so finding the right one for you depends on your needs. Consider how many people you’re cooking for and how much space you have for appliances. From soups, stews and curries to puddings and cakes, you’ll have all your courses covered in no time. Complementary goodies Appetisers.Wildflower No.2 gin, £34.95, cotswoldsdistillery.com; Nairn’s biscuits (gluten-free), £1.85, waitrose.com; rosé wine, £24.99 for six cans, coppercrew. co.uk; Fabalous hazelnut and cocoa spread, £4.99, amazon.co.uk; Fearne & Rosie low-sugar jam, £2.50, waitrose.com; caramelised onion marmalade, £3.95, tracklements.co.uk; Lo-Fi alcohol-free pale ale, £2, signaturebrew.co.uk TAKE IT EASY…