Innholdsfortegnelse for December 2020 i Psychologies

Hello! I’m Suzy Walker, Editor-in-Chief of ‘Psychologies’. I’m a career coach and author of ‘Making The Big Leap’ and ‘The Big Peace’. Not only have I changed careers three times myself, I’ve helped thousands of people make the shifts they desired. I’ve interviewed thought leaders from Brené Brown and Cheryl Strayed to Oprah Winfrey – I’m so lucky to have been plugged into the wisest, most successful people on the planet. Join me for our brilliant course, ‘Create the you – I can wait to share what I’ve learned with you!…

My community, After an accident left me with a broken leg and ankle, I was so grateful and humbled by the help and support I received from people in my community. I had visits and lovely, thoughtful gifts. People I had only ever seen in passing contacted me and delivered delicious food. A group of amazing women organised a dog-walking rota for my energetic sprocker, Jasper. They took him out twice a day for four months while I recovered from surgery. People called by for chats, brought shopping, took me out for trips and helped in so many ways. Everyone was amazing and I can never thank them enough. I now know so many more people and am reminded of the kindness of others. I love my village and feel…

Do you ever pass someone in the street who is dressed with gay abandon and itch to tell them how fabulous they look? Andria Lo and Valerie Luu acted on that urge, and their experiences of chatting to colourfully dressed elderly people in six American Chinatowns are featured in a book of portraits and tales, Chinatown Pretty. They explain: ‘What would start with us exclaiming ‘Pòh poh hóu leng!’ (pretty grandma) would lead to conversations about life journeys, immigration, joy and pain. These seniors taught us not only how to dress with joy, but how to live a meaningful life. As second-generation Asian Americans, we saw it as a way to connect with our past. Each conversation gave us a sliver of history, tinged with the fatigue and heartbreak that…

MOST PEOPLE TEND to wait until the new year before focusing on how they want to improve their lives. Get a head start by beginning a little life audit now. Journal around the question: ‘How do I want to feel every day?’ Write down the kind of work and play that would enable you to feel that way. In terms of your passion and purpose, what has been difficult this year? What do you hope never to repeat, and what was challenging, but you would go through again? Lastly, give yourself space to dream. Write down 20 things you would like your future self to experience in terms of your purpose. Join Kia Cannons for our ‘Do What You Love’ video series and more happy hacks at tinyurl.com/psyhappyhack; psychologiestv.co.uk is a…

Ruby Wax is fearless. She is reclining on her yellow Argos sunlounger in the garden of her beautiful stuccoed town house in the luvvies’ favourite patch of West London, Notting Hill. For many, this represents the pinnacle of success, but Ruby’s not impressed. She’s opting out and going to live in an eco community in the north of Scotland. There, the comedian with an Oxford degree in mindfulness-based cognitive behavioural therapy and a garden full of fake fabric flowers, will learn how to harvest home-grown veggies for the local food bank and live in a low-impact and sustainable way. This change of direction in her 60s is thanks to two years of research for her latest book, ‘And Now For The Good News: To The Future With Love’. ‘Don’t think…

Develop a nicer disposition by noticing critical thoughts and making way for positive ones. Follow these steps: 1 Become aware of your thoughts • Do a simple activity – go for a walk or visit a coffee shop – and listen to your thoughts as they arise. • Write down any negative responses you have to people around you and anything else that comes to mind. • Later, look at your notes and ask yourself why you may have had those thoughts. 2 Begin the reset • Now that you are more aware of your thoughts, it’s time to begin the shift. • Habits take a while to break, so be gentle with yourself. • Repeat the simple task from before but, every time a critical thought surfaces, add something…

Psychologies’ partnership with Barefoot Coaching gives you the tools to find a coach who meets your needs. Barefoot Coaching has been at the forefront of coaching and coach training for 25 years. It has a proven track record as a provider of high-level coaching and coach training to organisations and senior executives, nationally and internationally. Train as a coach with Barefoot Coaching The Barefoot Coaching International Coach Federation- accredited Postgraduate Certificate in Business and Personal Coaching is one of the most well-established coach training courses in the UK. Barefoot runs regular, free introductions to coach training throughout the year. Visit barefootcoaching. co.uk/taster-mornings to book.…

1 Allow yourself time There will always be sadness and hurt when a relationship ends, and those feelings need to be processed. Don’t expect to give or receive a glowing review of your ex immediately. Give it time. 2 Write things down Make a list of all the things that were positive about the relationship, so they don’t drown in a sea of negatives. The act of writing things down also reinforces more positive thinking. 3 Create a timeline This allows you to see your relationship as a whole and recognise that there were good times at various stages along the way. Don’t focus all your attention on the end of the relationship as it started to break down. 4 Identify the benefits Whether it’s children, friends, security or personal…

THE DAY MY MOTHER DIED, I turned 38 – the age she was when she gave birth to me. I had many dreams that helped me through my bereavement and led me to take foundation courses in psychotherapy. I also volunteered at a hospice, where many of the patients shared their dreams with me. After I completed a master’s degree in the psychology of religion, I trained in psychotherapy at the Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Education (CCPE), which included transpersonal dreamwork. After qualifying, I ran the charity Help Counselling and co-founded the Dream Research Institute at CCPE to promote research on dreams and wellbeing. In 2019, I published my book, The Hidden Lives Of Dreams, which draws on my personal and professional experience and research. I teach lucid dreaming…

COMMUNICATION • Speaking effectively• Writing clearly and concisely• Listening attentively and objectively• Negotiating• Interviewing RESEARCH; PLANNING; INVESTIGATION • Forecasting and predicting• Identifying problems and resources• Gathering and extracting information• Solving problems• Setting goals HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS; INTERPERSONAL • Developing rapport or providing support• Motivating individuals or keeping a group on track• Co-operating or delegating efficiently• Interacting effectively with peers, superiors and subordinates• Working with diversity or multicultural issues POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES • Being punctual• Attention to detail• Working effectively under pressure• Taking initiative• Meeting deadlines or achieving goals ORGANISATION; MANAGEMENT; LEADERSHIP; DECISION-MAKING • Managing conflict or mediating• Organising people or prioritising tasks to achieve a specific goal• Following up with others to evaluate progress• Promoting change• Selling ideas or products to decision-makers FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT • Managing a budget• Keeping accurate and complete…

I WAS A PE TEACHER in a state school when I decided to set up an ethical cleaning business in 2012. I had spent 12 years in teaching, while simultaneously being involved in campaigning against human trafficking. I could see there was a way to empower people by giving them work and making sure they were paid the living wage, creating freedom to reach a better economic standing and quality of life. As a teacher, I learned how to empower people without agency and provide justice for those without the means to get there – skills I applied to setting up the ethically driven cleaning business. Discipline, compassion and a strong sense of ethics are also key features of both roles. There are many parallels, from understanding people and managing…

THE PATH TO CONTENTMENT Sometimes, it can feel as if life is out of balance: too much work, not enough play; too much worry, not enough peace; too much doing, not enough being. Mindfulness can help us spend less time doing, achieving and self-protecting and more time resting, feeling secure and at peace. It is within our power, and it is our responsibility, to address the imbalance and seek greater equilibrium. Our time is spent in three emotional systems and looking at where we spend most of our day can help us find balance. Greater awareness is our starting point… Psychologies Wellness Director, mindfulness expert and yoga teacher In best health Designed by Freyja Hanstein, who lost her husband to cancer in 2014 and was diagnosed with a brain tumour…

ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME knows I enjoy a good cocktail or glass of red wine. Enjoyment really is the aim, rather than having a regrettably sore head the day after a few too many. As the season , a fun but, instead of going all out and abstaining in January, we could take a more mindful approach to our drinking habits all year for a healthier, more balanced relationship with booze. The concept of mindful drinking has gained momentum as stats show more people are drinking less amounts and lower alcohol content. There is a plethora of alcohol-free and low-alcohol alternatives that mean you can enjoy a delicious drink without feeling as if you are missing out. In her book, Mindful Drinking (Orion, £12.99), Rosamund Dean talks about a 3:3…

1 The Life Scientific with Jim Al-Khalili If Al-Khalili is responsible for choosing the brilliant people who appear on this Radio 4 series and podcast, he himself is a genius. His interviewees are at the top of their game career-wise and their depth of knowledge is all the more infectious because they are often modest academics from ordinary backgrounds. 2 The Curious Cases Of Rutherford& Fry News just in – Google, Siri and Alexa don’t have all the answers. So, for those tricky science questions, step forward the clever (professional) coupledom of sleuths Adam Rutherford and Hannah Fry. Presenting sciency things in a lighthearted way can’t be easy, especially for academics, but this pair manage exceptionally well. Write in with your questions via their Radio 4 website. 3 RadioLab The…

Joyful trio Drops of inspiration and contentment. The Little Box of Happiness, £13.45 for the set, tisserand.com Play it by ear Decorate your lobes with climbing jewellery. Silver and pearl ear wings, £22,potterandmooch.co.uk Comfort undercover Kaleidoscopic warmth. Large patchwork quilt, exclusive to the V&A, £325,vam.ac.uk Awash with fragrance Cleanse your worries away. Essential oil soaps, £5 each, vam.ac.uk Peace and health Prioritise body and mind. Online yoga classes and courses for all abilities, prices vary, movementformodernlife.com Personalise projects Innovate and create. Cricut Joy cutting machine for crafters, £179.99,johnlewis.com Mineral soother Restore balance for restful slumber. Magnesium Sleep Bath Flakes, £9.95, betteryou.com Creativity manual Make it special. Mindful Crafting subscription, £39.95 for eight issues, shop.kelsey.co.uk/subscription/MCR Restore and polish Feed your skin with goodness. Cleansing fragrance-free scrub, £25.50, ecooking.com…

A COUPLE OF WELL-PLACED winter flowers go a long way towards lifting the spirits. I like to have a handful of pots dotted about, ideally in sheltered spots with good light. The following suggestions work just as well to brighten up an empty border. Unless it is a harsh winter, winter pansies are great option. They are fully hardy and can be cut back if they start to look a bit forlorn. For something a little tougher, try winter violas; they always look like sweet little faces to me, watching me as I go about my business. Cyclamens are one of my winter favourites. The larger, showier ones available in the autumn are not as hardy as the variety known as cyclamen coum, which are smaller and flower later in…

1 As You Were By Elaine Feeney (Vintage, £14.99) Sinead is keeping a terrible secret. Reluctant to confide in her husband and trapped in a maelstrom of emotions, her facade of tenacious career woman is crumbling. Holed up in hospital, she’s drawn into the lives of Margaret Rose, who’s dealing with family mishaps on the phone, and Jane, who has dementia. Haunted by the past and unsure of the future, Sinead deals with the present with a wild wit that is unsentimental and original. A cracking read. 2 The Perfect Nine By Ngugi wa Thiong’o (Vintage,£12) The author reimagines an old story with a modern mindset, telling the founding myth of the Kikuyu people from a feminist perspective. It focuses on the daughters of…

Yvette Ankrah Coach and MBE Yvette is an award-winning business coach, consultant and recovering overachiever! She works with women in business, helping them gain success without burnout, and is passionate about ensuring that women have the optimum environment, tools and skills to thrive. She was awarded an MBE for her work with women in business in 2017 and, in 2019, Yvette received her PhD in sociology. Watch her chat about her life and work to PsychologiesEditor-in-Chief Suzy Walker at psychologiestv.co.uk. Liz Morphew Singer-songwriter, blogger and Psychologies ambassador  Under the pseudonym ‘Queen of Hearts’, Liz released her critically acclaimed debut album, Cocoon, in 2014. During a sabbatical from music, she immersed herself in the world of self-development and became a fan of Psychologies. As an ambassador of the magazine, she contributes…

@GillH1973: Just read The Kindness Conversation  feature in @PsychologiesMag with @DrDRHamilton and @matthaig1. The right questions asked and honest answers. Lovely piece. @Melly_Del: My October issue of @PsychologiesMag arrived  – my monthly reminder to slow down, take it easy and enjoying reading with a glass of wine. #SelfCareSunday @Helen23Wilson: Catching up on my monthly counselling  session in the form of a magazine with @PsychologiesMag while camping. @AnilaDhami: My must-buy every month! Including an  insightful interview with @matthaig1 and a witty piece by @HarrietMinter. @PsychologiesMag – inspirational. @keto.koffee. kindness: My Saturday tea, #psychologies magazine and a chaffle. #perfectsaturday morning @theeleven ofourstore: I made a few of these shopping or storage bags out of some roller blind offcuts. Perfect for storing your favourite magazines – in my case #psychologiesmagazine @stampclair: Love this!…

THIS YEAR HAS MADE many of us more aware of the fragility of our world, and I feel more motivated than ever to actively make a difference. In studies, 63 per cent of people agree that lockdown created an opportunity to reduce their environmental impact, and many say the barriers to change must, and are, coming down.* If you share this feeling, I recommend the new Naturehood online community. It’s a network of people doing tiny actions for nature in their neighbourhoods. The aim is to create a tapestry of habitats that, when combined on a national basis, will protect and increase biodiversity. Register for free and meet local, green-minded people and search nearby activities, which vary in scale and approach, including making a leaf or log pile, creating a…

A VICTIM MENTALITY MIGHT be easy to spot in others but not so easy to recognise in ourselves. The first step is to notice the symptoms of this type of mindset – feeling out of control, thinking you are unlucky in life and believing that the world is against you. Proactive self-help, spirituality and magazines such as Psychologies help us tune into our inner power. It’s about taking personal responsibility. It’s much easier to blame the outside world or others for your unhappiness or misfortune. You can spend your entire life blaming situations, fate and other people, but it only makes you feel worse, not better. We have power over our thoughts. For a more contented existence, we need to put our focus on what we can control. Five empowering…

• Nothing will change without changing the lens through which we see the world. There is a new world view waiting in the wings to replace the old one. Tiny changes can add up and promote change. • My book offers a directory of possibilities for people. My quest for green shoots of hope took me all over the world. I figured there must be innovators creating a new paradise and I’m going to find them. In Finland, I visited progressive schools where empathy and wellbeing are taught. I was particularly impressed by the clothing company Patagonia in California, where there’s an on-site creche for employees’ children. • I thought I’d be out of my mind with anxiety joining volunteers at a refugee camp on the Greek island of Samos,…

The Psychologies-endorsed ‘Find a coach’ directory, with Barefoot  Coaching, provides readers with a choice of top coaches, all with postgraduate training and accredited by the University of Chester and the International Coach Federation. Find a coach who suits you to help you navigate and transform your life – in the areas of work, money, relationships, parenting and leadership.…

Q I’m in my mid-30s, have been with my husband for 20 years and we have two young children. After being a mother and wife for all this time, I feel I’ve lost myself. The other day, I heard a story on the radio and thought ‘I want to kiss a woman’. I’ve had fantasies about women for years, but never wanted to act on them. I had such a visceral reaction, I told my husband, who was supportive and said he’d be fine if I explored polyamory. I am not sure if that’s what I meant, and I’m scared. Am I really going to risk the happiness of my family and my close relationship with my husband for a fantasy? When I’m living my normal daily life, it feels…

GUILT AND THE RESPONSIBILITY PIE CHART Feeling guilty about something we think we should be doing differently is a pointless emotion. If we can’t change things, then we have to change our feelings of guilt and accept the situation. Guilt can lead to stress and a feeling of powerlessness as we beat ourselves up and judge ourselves over something we feel we should do or shouldn’t haven’t done. How to control your feelings of guilt: • Forgive yourself for whatever you did or didn’t do. • If there is a pain-free way of changing the situation that is making you feel guilty, do it. • Use the responsibility pie chart to change your perspective: Draw a large circle on a piece of paper to represent something you think is your…

1 Think of dreamwork as developing a relationship with your dream life. We put time into relationships with friends and partners and, similarly, we must cultivate our relationship with our dream state. 2 Record your dreams in a journal when you wake. Many of us look at our phones first thing, erasing the memory of our dreams. Develop a new morning routine, allowing space for reflection on your dreams. 3 Reread your dream journal before you go to bed and also read about dreams. There are plenty of books on dreams that can help you explore their meaning and a number on the science behind them. 4 Seek support. If you are interested in exploring your dreams, a therapist can guide you through the psychotherapeutic process. Find a…

As unsettling as it may feel, changes put upon us from external sources can be opportunities to take roads we have dreamed about but were too busy or scared to travel. If you want or need to redirect your working life, we can help you. Our four-week coaching programme, ‘Change your career and find fulfilment’ led by Barefoot coach Beverly Landais, has been designed to help you figure out what work will bring you meaning and satisfaction. It will help you find the courage and confidence to sniff out opportunities and formulate a plan to take your next steps.…

I DECIDED TO MAKE a change when I turned 30. I’d fallen into recruitment for a global retailer but my passion was marketing and social media. Changing careers can be easier within the same company – when you’re already on the payroll, it’s easier to have the right conversations. My chance came when the social media manager resigned. I invited the hiring manager to lunch, but I knew asking for the job wouldn’t be enough. I highlighted my transferable skills; my experience in employer branding and marketing was applicable to consumer branding and marketing, and my interviewing skills proved I was comfortable meeting new people and building rapport quickly – a key part of my dream role was meeting influencers and assessing suitability for campaigns. I also took samples of…

1 You mainly want to pivot your life because: ♥ You’re not happy with the way it is now ◆ You’re not reaching your potential • You feel stuck ■ You can’t stop thinking about it 2For you, making decisions is often: ■ An overthinking nightmare ♥ Done on impulse ◆ Long and protracted • A series of compromises 3 Failed attempts to redirect your life have: ♥ Stalled at the planning stage • Not gone down well with others ◆ Just seemed too risky ■ Felt overwhelming 4 Sharing your plans with others tends to: ■ Help you focus • Not happen often ◆ Boost your confidence ♥ Give you new ideas 5 At the end of the day, you often feel: ♥ Overwhelmed ◆ Unsure and uncertain •…

1 The contentment system’s function is activated when we feel secure and happy – when we are not chasing achievements or feeling threatened. The emotions connected to this emotional system are peace and fulfilment. 2 If you consider the three systems, self-protection, in which we feel fear and anxiety; the drive system, in which we feel motivated and focused, but also often frustrated; and the contentment system, in which we feel safe and peaceful – where do you spend the most time? 3 Draw three circles, with the size of each representing the amount of time you spend it each system. In each circle, write examples of how and where you spend time in that system. 4 Is the time spent in each emotional system balanced for…

Fizz Thomson & Scott Noughty is an excellent alcohol-free prosecco and, unlike some fizz and wine alternatives, it’s not loaded with sugar. You would be hard-pressed to notice the difference! • thomsonandscott.com Wine buffs Jukes Cordialites are the creation of wine writer and connoisseur Matthew Jukes. These chic and neat non-alcoholic cordials invoke similar notes and depth of flavour you would expect in a drop of good vino. • jukescordialities.com Beer drinkers My top pick comes from the guys at Small beer, whose low ABV (1-2%) ales and lagers are made with the finest ingredients and natural carbonation. • theoriginal smallbeer.com Fermented gut boosters  Do yourself a flavour and try the gorgeous water kefirs from Agua De Madre or kombucha from LA Brewery, which has just launched its Sparkling English…

THE FESTIVE SEASON is here again and, after the year  we ve , we you joy in simple things and choose gifts that create special moments to be savoured. Whether it’s an item of jewellery that reminds you to show thanks, a soothing tea or treat, nourishing product or soulful object or ritual, we invite you and your loved ones to take time for daily self-care and reflection. This year’s gift guide encourages you to embrace and cherish the here and now. We’ve partnered with some of our favourite thoughtful and sustainable brands to present a curated selection of presents that embody mindfulness – because now, more than ever, is the time to thank those who’ve inspired us, championed us and paved our way to growth as we face life’s…

De-stressed tresses Care for your crowning glory. Amla Hair Remedy, £38, alchemyoils.co.uk Soul story Power to you. ‘I am strong’ ring, £15, soulanalyse.com Mind map Follow your bliss. ‘Maps of Joy’, from £25, mapsofjoy.com Pretty little things Ethical adornment. Katiico Tawiah aggry bead earrings, £45, seekd.co.uk Press pause Take the pressure off with acupressure. Pranamat ECO® massage set, £185, pranamateco.com Tea and empathy Ponder life’s questions over a cuppa. Jasmine tea gift set, £30, jingtea.com Festive cheers Get into the spirits! Tiptree advent calendar, £100, tiptree.com Dream cream Work miracles while you sleep. Hydration Mask, £36, nayaglow.com Page learner Read between the lines. Anxiety and An Emotional Menagerie books, £15 each, theschooloflife.com…

Whether you’re an accomplished cook, just spreading your culinary wings or hoping to reignite your inspiration in the kitchen, we all need a repertoire of hassle-free dishes for when life is demanding. Forget juggling a hob full of bubbling pots and a daunting mountain of washing-up – throw a handful of quality, seasonal ingredients into a roasting tray and voila! With a little preparation and store-cupboard seasoning to lift the flavours of your ingredients, you can rustle up wholesome meals without having to slave over a hot stove for hours. In chef and food writer Rosie Sykes’ new book, Roasting Pan Suppers: Deliciously Simple All-in-one Meals (Pavilion, £14.99), you’ll find plenty of nutritious and affordable tray-bake recipes, ideal for when time is of the essence and energy is waning. We…

Pema Chödrön is our favourite wise woman. Beloved Buddhist teacher, author, nun and mother, she has inspired millions of people around the world who have been touched by her example and message of practising peace in these turbulent times. The Pema Chödrön Foundation is dedicated to preserving and sharing Pema’s inspiration and teachings in order that they might help us all awaken wisdom and compassion in ourselves and the world around us. pemachodronfoundation.org To buy her books, go to shambhala.com; bookdepository.com; betterworldbooks.com…

It’s been a difficult year. I have been scanning the horizon for resources that help us find new ways to think, feel and thrive, despite the challenges. That’s why we invited Ruby Wax to be our cover star. Fed up with people moaning about the state of the world, Wax vowed to spend time with inspiring individuals who are influencing a better future for humanity, and then she wrote a book about it – And Now For The Good News: To The Future With Love. ‘Nothing will change without changing the lens through which we see the world,’ she says (page 18). I also loved reading Slay Your Dragons With Compassion by Malcolm Stern. After unimaginable tragedy, he turned his grief into wisdom, and shares his journey in a book…

Way back at the start of my secondary school career, I decided to put my tendency to talk too much to good use by joining the debating society. Newly formed, the group would meet once a week to thrash out a big topic – ‘is red better than blue?’ is the one that sticks in my mind – then we would name the most convincing case the winner. As someone who liked to win, I took no prisoners in my efforts to claim the top spot. As I’ve grown older, I’ve made a bit of a name for myself as someone who enjoys a squabble. I’ve been booked for TV shows because I’m happy to take on the most belligerent of talk-show hosts, and consultancy clients tell me they want…

‘Psychologies’ Partnerships Director and resident coach Nikki Peterson helps anxious and overwhelmed clients grow the confidence to make decisions that work for them. Q I’m massively in debt and deeply ashamed. My girlfriend doesn’t know and, if she did, I think she would leave me. I want to pay it off but I’m finding it difficult to put aside the money without her realising. I feel so bad, I usually just try to forget about it, which I know won’t make it go away! I don’t know how to start tackling it. Thinking about my debt keeps me awake at night in a cold sweat. Please help me help myself. Lauren, 29 A As you say, ignoring it won’t make it disappear. Money can be a taboo subject in relationships…

“I write entirely to find out what I Am thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see And what it means. what I want and what I fear”JOAN DIDION I LEFT THE small patch of green outside my kitchen window to its own devices earlier this year. The grass grew tall and dandelions and daisies filled every space. Spiky nettles stood guard like sentries. One morning, I noticed a rainbow chaffinch gobbling the head of a fluffy dandelion and laughed. My little wild meadow, untidy and uncontrolled, was a place of wildflowers, a sanctuary for hungry birds, butterflies and a bounty of bees. Some days, the words on the pages of my journal resemble that overgrown scene. They tumble down and knot together in no particular order. Moments from my…

Thriving in the face of deep instability is not easy, in fact it always demands a level of discomfort. There is no magic wand that will make our painful experiences vanish. At times, the path may be devastating and we may feel stuck and fear that happiness will never return. It’s important to understand that thriving isn’t about making life comfortable and fun, it’s about finding purpose and making our own unique contribution. Born to cope Evolution demands that we expand to become what we need to become when things fall apart. It is our challenge to find resilience and meaning in the tragedies and fears that confront us. In discovering ways of dealing with these events, we have the possibility of alchemising our experience and turning the base metal…

• TheUK Council for Psychotherapy(UKCP) is the leading research, innovation, educational and regulatory body working to advance psychotherapy for the benefit of all. We have a register of more than 8,000 individual members, who offer a range of therapy approaches for couples, individuals, families and groups. We also have more than 70 training and accrediting organisations for those who wish to become psychotherapists. • To find the right therapist for you, or learn how to become a therapist, visit psychotherapy.org.uk…

When I say I’m an introvert, the response is usually, ‘Are you?’ I may appear to be friendly and confident, but I need alone time to recharge. Perhaps you’re like me and you’ve learned to switch on your confident beam, but the reality is that you’re shy. Maybe you enjoy chatting to someone one-to-one or going out for a cosy dinner… then heading home to unwind. When I worked as a foreign correspondent, my nervousness was frequently concealed behind a large glass of vino. When I decided to quit the hangovers 10 years ago, my prop disappeared, and I was left with the bare bones of the real me. It’s easy to get consumed with the fear of networking and decline invitations. Regardless of where I am, I have to…

There’s nothing quite like a pandemic to prompt people to rethink their lives. Everyone I know seems to be questioning their purpose or career path. For some, economic uncertainty has triggered a reappraisal of priorities. Others, faced with a drop in income or the loss of a job, are forced to change career. While the circumstances are unprecedented, the situation is familiar to me. I was weeks away from giving birth to my first child when I was made redundant from a PR job I loved. I remember not being able to see the pavement as I walked home in tears that day, fretting about how to raise a child in London on only my husband’s salary. “That career curveball – traumatic at the time – prompted a career shift…

• Work out your why Understanding why you want or need change is key. To clarify this, list the five values that matter most to your working life. Core values could include: adventure, autonomy, challenge, creativity, fun, income, fulfilment, influence, security, freedom or work-life balance. Change Your Life In Five by leadership and life coach Sue Belton (Welbeck, £14.99) has a useful section on this. • Be an explorer To unearth new opportunities, adopt an explorer’s mindset and follow your curiosity and enthusiasm. As I thought about a lecturing job I had previously dismissed, I looked for signs that it was worth pursuing. Stumbling upon my old student ID card, I remembered how much I loved learning and applied. • Experiment Expand your skills at work or through work experience.…

IF YOU SCORED MAINLY ♥ Clarity If you know you need a new direction but feel confused about what that might look like, you need to work out your why and clarify what’s important to you. It may be that you’re still at the information-gathering stage and, by opening your mind to the idea of a major life change, you now feel flooded with possibilities. It can be hard not to feel panicky at this stage, or that you must rush through it, make decisions and start doing – but it’s a crucial part of the process and takes the time it takes. Sometimes, we find ourselves in a state of confusion because the drive to pivot is a need to escape from the status quo, and the feelings associated…

HALF-SPLITS Ardha hanumanasana Splits pose is the physical manifestation of a leap of faith, named after the monkey god, Hanuman, who leaped from India to Sri Lanka to save Sita. Its sister pose, half-splits, is an intense and transformational pose that works wonders for tight hamstrings. • START IN downward-facing dog, then step your right leg between your hands. • DROP YOUR LEFT KNEE to the ground and, keeping your legs positioned where they are, shift your hips back towards your back left heel. • BEGIN TO STRAIGHTEN your right leg. You should start to feel a stretch in your right hamstring. • SIT DOWN ONTO your back left heel, or keep your hips raised, as in the picture. • TO INTENSIFY, walk your fingers forward past your right toes.…