Innholdsfortegnelse for August 2020 i Psychologies

Ali Knowles Therapist and creator of The Ollie Model coaching programme Ali is author of the Ollie And His Superpowers books (Jessica Kingsley, £9.99 each), a public speaker and creator of The Ollie Model. She also blogs on the Psychologies Life Labs platform. ‘I write about real issues that I see in therapy, giving simple but powerful tips,’ she says. ‘I help people take control of their emotions, rather than be controlled by them. I believe you have everything you need inside you to be the best version of you.’ Go to lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk. Jackee Holder Coach and author Jackee is one of the UK’s first black coaches working across a range of industries, including the NHS and business. Her thought leadership focuses on the wellbeing benefits of journalling and expressive…

@KatieThistleton: A few months ago, I was hosting a  mental health panel, and afterwards the editor of @PsychologiesMag approached me and said they’d love to feature me. I had to pinch myself because it’s my fave mag and has been for years! I’m in the June issue talking about my values. @GillH1973: My first copy of @PsychologiesMag has just been  delivered. Looking forward to reading it. @philippac72: I’m catching up on back issues of @PsychologiesMag  and am reading the article about rekindling friendships. Halfway through, I stopped reading and made contact with friends I’ve not been in touch with for a while. It feels lovely. Back to the mag now! ABOVE @tiudehaan1: Well look at this! I’m featured on the new @psychologiesmagazine TV channel! What an honour and a pleasure.…

Four strangrrs, It was a very wet Thursday as I waited in the car park of Good Hope Hospital in Birmingham. Coming here was a scary experience, with people walking two metres apart and wearing masks. My boyfriend was told he needed a scan, so I dropped him off and waited in the car. As it was chilly, I decided to turn on the engine, but nothing happened. My battery was dead. Within moments, two men, unknown to me, offered to help. Then a pair of women came to assist too. They pushed my car up a hill, in the rain, maintaining distance between them while laughing and joking – all to help a stranger. How absolutely wonderful, generous and considerate. I was blown away by their help and kindness.…

So Hot Right Now JOURNALIST LUCY SIEGLE and wildlife and conservation film-maker Tom Mustill have launched a podcast called So Hot Right Now, which aims to highlight the importance of communication in protecting the planet. Guests include David Attenborough, Ellie Goulding and United Nations climate negotiator Christiana Figueres. Each episode will delve into how to speak up about the climate and nature crisis in ways that make a difference. This is an important journey with the world’s most powerful communicators, who share their stories and advice so we can all join the conversation. • Listen at smarturl.it/SoHotRightNow Want to be greener? Read Ellen’s eco advice in her column and follow @ellen_tout. See page 67. This month, Ellen examines whether cut flowers are sustainable. For more ethical living tips, go to…

STRUGGLING TO FIGURE out what you want in life? Fast-track the process by tuning into your envy. What comes to mind when I ask, ‘Who do you envy?’ Grab a journal and list all the people, lifestyles and relationships that spark jealousy in you. We’re often taught to feel shame around our envious feelings, yet envy can help reveal our true desires. See it as a gift! The people who embody your yearnings are signposts revealing what you truly desire for your life. Back to your list: What did you learn about yourself? Join Kia Cannons for our ‘Do What You Love’ video series and more happy hacks at lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk. Life Labs is a blogging platform where world-class experts write about subjects ranging from productivity and work-life balance to improving…

When you’re an introvert, it can be difficult to speak up for yourself in a potentially damaging situation. Bullies can warp the way you view the world. Your judgment can be so undermined that you question everything you believe and shrink inwards. At school, I was the shy one in a sea of extroverts and, when the class bully struck, I didn’t know how to overcome her onslaught. A few years later, I started working in a new job. I was enthusiastic, and keen to make a difference. I soon encountered the fun member of the team who I felt was sexually inappropriate. After a situation, I reported this to my boss, who took action. However, I wasn’t expecting the backlash from the office. Whether it was real or perceived,…

• TheUK Council for Psychotherapy(UKCP) is the leading research, innovation, educational and  regulatory body working to advance psychotherapy for the benefit of all. We have a register of more than 8,000 individual members, who offer a range of therapy approaches for couples, individuals, families and groups. We also have more than 70 training and accrediting organisations for those who wish to become psychotherapists. • To find the right therapist for you, or learn how to become a therapist, visit psychotherapy.org.uk…

The world is slowly restarting after coronavirus, and our economic landscape looks vastly different. When the going gets tough, it pays to have a robust relationship with money but, as I learned while going bankrupt last year, this is not as simple as watching your spending. I’ll be honest, I’ve always struggled with money. Throughout my adult life, I’ve never had quite enough to do the things my friends do – like take my mother out for her birthday, or go shoe shopping more than once a year. It makes no sense! I’ve always had work and I’m not extravagant, so where have I been going wrong? Top of the slippery slope My first job at the age of 20 was running film around Soho for £10k a year. Young…

WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP MINDSET? Look at the list below and score each thought pattern between 1 and 10 (1 being ‘doesn’t apply to me’ and 10 being ‘this has got my name all over it’). If you have any high scores (greater than 6), consider doing some personal development work to explore your beliefs about relationships. • Not truly believing that you deserve to be loved. • Not being clear about what really matters to you. • Thinking you can change or fix someone. • Not really feeling that happy relationships exist and that everyone settles. WHAT’S NOT NEGOTIABLE FOR YOU IN LOVE? When you are thinking about what you want in a relationship, it’s important to determine what behaviour or character traits would be deal-breakers for you. If…

Mark and I were together for 11 years. He was a vegetarian non-smoker but was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. We got the news on Christmas Eve. It was surreal. The doctors told me he wouldn’t last until the end of January but he held on till the end of October. What got me through his loss was the fact that we were able to talk deeply before he died. He said: ‘After I’m gone, I want you to find someone who will love you for the person you are.’ For about three years after his death, it felt as if grief was taking up my whole consciousness. And I was taken aback by other people’s inability to even mention my loss, some of whom I had thought were close to…

A year ago, we launched our Real Eco awards to celebrate the kind companies going above and beyond to care for the planet. This month, I’ve collated our top five winners for the deodorant category, plus a round-up of five others that also deserve praise. They are all plastic-free and made with the planet in mind. If you’re new to natural deodorants, allow your body to adjust to them. They work by neutralising bacteria and don’t contain the harmful chemicals found in most sprays – give it time and your skin will thank you! For ideas to make your home more eco-friendly, follow me @Ellen_Tout or go to psychologies.co.uk/real-eco Follow us! FOR MORE HONEST REVIEWS, TIPS AND VIDEOS GO TO: #PsychologiesRealEco psychologies.co.uk/real-eco @Ellen_Tout @PsychologiesMag…

• IF YOU DISLIKE BALMS, then try this natural and plastic-free deodorant stick. It is vegan-friendly and packaged in cork. BIORK potassium crystal deo stick, £12.20, boobalou.co.uk • WITH ORANGE AND grapefruit scents, this balm is one of our Eco Living Editor’s favourites. It’s long-lasting and now plastic-free. Uplifting natural deodorant, £7.99, indigenousbeauty.co.uk • THIS NATURAL AND REFILLABLE deodorant is a new and exciting start-up that delivers plastic-free refills to your door. Wild deodorant, from £12, wearewild.com • PART OF FAIR SQUARED’S new zero-waste range, this deodorant is founded on an ethos of tackling unjust global trade systems. Shea deo cream, £17.95, fair-squared.co.uk • PLASTIC-FREE DEOS from Earth Conscious are a subtler blend, so a good choice for sensitive skin or less active days. Mint & spearmint deodorant, £7, earthconscious.co.uk…

DON’T KNOW WHERE, DON’T KNOW WHEN So , been a rather strange and difficult year, and many of us now want to move from feeling one way to feeling another: from uncertainty to certainty; from anxiety to calm; from unhealthy to healthy. But often, we’re so focused on getting away from where we are in the moment, and on where we want to be going instead, that it stops us from actually getting there. In this month’s Mindful Health Club, we’ll explore the notion of connecting to where we are now, in order to get to where we want to be… FOLLOW US! #mindfulhealth@aliroff @psychologiesmagazine, psychologies.co.uk It’s in the cards The ongoing fascination with tarot cards is interesting when we look at the psychology behind how we use them. We…

Would you like to overhaul your spending and become more eco-conscious? A good place to start is the food you prepare, and Megan Davies’ cookbook, Home Bird: Simple, Low-Waste Recipes For Family And Friends, will help you initiate culinary changes to feel good about. Influenced by nostalgic meals and cooking for loved ones congregated at the kitchen table, the idea for the book took root at an intimate supper club in a friend’s bakery. Written for the eco-minded home cook, it is chock-full of simple recipes that get back to basics using wholesome ingredients, and includes ways to reinvent leftovers. Davies also gives tips on how to make your ingredients stretch, from potato peel crisps to pickled cucumbers and beetroot – just like granny’s! Serve meals that are not only…

1 The Lightness By Emily Temple (HarperCollins,£14.99) A novel shimmering with rage, desire and devilish observations of female friendship,as narrator Olivia heads off to a ‘Buddhist boot camp for bad girls’, hoping to discover the fate of her father, who visited the meditation centre and never returned.There, Olivia is drawn to a trio of troubled girls who attempt to escape their weighty pasts by learning to levitate. Agorgeous read,with complex characters,whose menace is wrapped in prose that reads like a dark fairy tale. 2 The Blind Light By Stuart Evers ( Pan Macmillan , £18.99) The entwined stories of two families,and the global events that define their lives.Working class Drum and well-to-do Carter meet in the 1950s, when the threat of nuclear apocalypse feels imminent. Life…

This month, we’re talking about grief and healing. Over the last few months, many of us have been left heartbroken. Whether it’s losing people we love or horrific world events that crack our heart in two, how do we process our sorrow, grief and despair? How do we acknowledge our pain, then use our heartbreak as a wake-up call to live our lives differently? Anita Chaudhuri explores all this and more in our Dossier on page 44. On page 20, we immerse ourselves in glorious nature, as Kate Townshend surrenders to ‘the sky and wild spaces’ to comfort her in dark times. Psychologies resilience champion Katie Piper recommends Your Mind Is Your Home by Kamran Bedi to help us grow our emotional strength (page 16) and, on page 25, Lucy…

Thank you for publishing the letter ‘I worry that my daughter will start self-harming’ on Mary Fenwick’s pages (May). Her advice about communicating with someone you’re concerned about is spot on. I wish I had felt comfortable enough with someone supportive to seek their help when I started self-harming in childhood. Instead, I felt completely alone with what I saw as a shameful secret. Only now, decades later, do I have valued support systems that I can lean on. It’s what makes all the difference, and Mary’s column highlights this.…

THE OCEAN IS A PLACE of fascination – and even more so for the surfers who brave its waves. The beautifully illustrated book Mindful Thoughts For Surfers by Sam Bleakley (The Ivy Press, £6.99) brings this feeling to the page. ‘Blue mindfulness may be different to the mindfulness of inner contemplation,’ says Bleakley, ‘but surfing teaches that mindfulness is not in you, but in the world of experience. It is a letting go of the desire to control, allowing the environment to caress and shape you. Wrapped in a cloak of water, surfing can take you out of your comfort zone, immersing you in a liquid habitat.’…

WHAT MAKES you feel hopeful? Project HOPE is a non-profit endeavour by photographer Senem Peace. Her photo series aims to create awareness of our mental health and raise donations for the Mental Health Foundation. Peace began the programme by photographing local dancers from a distance during lockdown and has since snapped professional dancers from a wider local area. She says: ‘In a way, this is a documentary project, but I also want to create a positive perception of the situation. There is always hope. There is always joy in life. I think photographing dancers embodies these emotions. When we feel alone and face struggles, I believe the dancer can inspire us to progress and I want to express this in my project. It is fascinating to witness how the hard…

By Katie Piper RESILIENCE IS SOMETHING I’ve been deeply aware of for many years, and I’ve been building and rebuilding mine for a while now. In the face of testing times, we may doubt our resilience – but I want you to know the good news: When we endure change, challenge and pain, we are forced to develop new coping mechanisms, adapt and survive. In developing these, we experience huge personal growth, further honing our emotional intelligence and inherent, deep-rooted confidence. I’m often asked where confidence comes from, and the answer is always the same – from resilience. When we are robust, strong and able to recover from formidable situations, we become filled with confidence, knowing that, whatever life throws at us, we have an internal toolbox to help us…

MARY FENWICK is a writer, speaker and executive coach; she’s also a mother, divorcee and widow. GOT A QUESTION FOR MARY? Email mary@psychologies.co.uk, with ‘MARY’ in the subject line. FOR MORE about Mary’s one-to-one work and speaking, go to maryfenwick.com. See the ‘freebies’ tab on Mary’s website for her free guides on resilience, stress and more. “I don’t like the mean way my aunts treat my mother” Q Over the last decade, as I’ve become an adult, I’ve realised that my aunts aren’t particularly kind,›especially when it comes to their sister, my mum. They leave her out, lie to her and put her down, which makes her anxious and upset – but she still puts everything into her relationship with her siblings. About a year ago, my sister and I…

THIRTY YEARS AGO, I got depressed at university for no apparent reason. A therapist asked me to describe my feelings, which helped us identify what was going on. I realised I had been suffering psychologically since childhood, despite having loving parents and friends. That was the beginning of an enduring interest in understanding the darker side of our emotions. I was a civil servant, then began a foundation course in psychotherapy at the Tavistock and Portman NHS trust, focusing on analysis. The latter changed my life and my sense of self, and I was ready to train. I am still training, and always will be. As a therapist, the most important insight is gained through your own therapy. Formal training should only follow when you have worked out – more…

• Write your kakebo savings plan and expenses log by hand and in ink. Writing in your book brings deeper engagement, plus an indelible record of what you hope to achieve, plus successes and mistakes. • Be realistic about your aims for the month and how you’re going to achieve them. For example, you can save money by taking lunch to work, but plan and budget for it in your weekly shop. And don’t deprive yourself – if you only bring a sandwich, you’re more likely to buy a cookie at the coffee shop. • Reflect on your log monthly. How do you feel about it? Review your habits and journey periodically. What is the purpose of your spending? Is it a form of comfort? Is there something that could…

The ‘Psychologies’- endorsed ‘Find a coach’ directory, with Barefoot  Coaching, provides a choice of top coaches, all with postgraduate training accredited by the University of Chester and the International Coach Federation. Find a coach who suits you to help you navigate and transform your life – in the areas of money, work, relationships, parenting, health and leadership. ASK THE EXPERT… Caz Hawley helps clients navigate professional and personal challenges and gain mobility in life. She guides a woman in her approach to friendship and deal with a friend moving away Q As I entered my 30s, I made a decision to put more effort into fewer, closer friendships, rather than having a large number of mates. I feel much happier now, but one of my dearest friends is talking about…

“You need to find a way of engaging with life, so your grief does not overwhelm you” No one is immune from life’s losses and they are an unavoidable part of the human experience but, despite knowing that intellectually, nothing can prepare you for the seismic loss of a loved one. ‘The task psychologically is to both face the death, and find a way of living with it,’ says Julia Samuel, a therapist specialising in grief and the author of This Too Shall Pass (Penguin, £14.99). ‘Your loss may be of a more complex nature – someone you you have strong feelings. You need to find a way of accommodating loss while still engaging with life, so grief doesn’t overwhelm you. Part of that is to remember that the person…

My mum was about to retire when she was diagnosed with adrenal cancer. Within three weeks, she was gone. My father had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s years before and had moved into a care home. Two years later, he died too. Some time afterwards, it hit me. Mum had waited until she retired to fulfil her dreams. It was like somebody switched the lights on – we must not wait to do the things we love! I stopped floating through life and began to make changes. One day, despite internal resistance, I signed up for a qoya workshop. I had been thinking, ‘I am not dancing, I know how to dance, thank you very much! But my body knew what it needed. There was a free dance session at the…

• Stay open to all thoughts and feelings that arise. Be mindful: notice and welcome whatever occurs. Grief is a natural process that unfolds in its own time. As Rumi said: ‘The cure for the pain is in the pain.’ • Expression is not depression. Sharing our experiences of loss with those who love us can bring us out of denial, and reduce feelings of isolation. • Buddha spoke of two arrows in relation to suffering. The first is the primary pain. In Sue’s story, this is the original grief connected to the loss of her child. The second is the pain of the stigma and shame around it. These feelings can inhibit the experience of the primary loss. Seeing the difference between grief and the story around it leads…

Fit the bill “It smells great, a little goes a long way and it is surprisingly effective!” EMMA, reader panellist, Kent Our winning deodorant is created by green sisters Eve Carnall and Suzanne Loudwill. Handmade in small batches in the UK, it’s free from aluminium salts, parabens, BPAs, palm oil and petrochemicals. It is organic, vegan, plastic-free and even delivered in reclaimed packaging. The company supports a number of charities. • Fit Pit natural deodorant, £10, thegreenwoman.co.uk 70% OF THE OXYGEN IN THE AIR WE BREATHE COMES FROM THE OCEAN, SO BE KIND TO THE SEA BECAUSE WE DEPEND ON ITS RESOURCES* Au naturel! “It works perfectly. I would happily recommend it” ESTHER, reader panellist, Wiltshire Ben & Anna ticks all the boxes. It’s vegan, cruelty-free, plastic-free, 100% natural and…

Sook 50g oats overnightt in 100ml mik of your choice. on the morning, stir, and add a generous dollp of live yoghurt (dairy or plant-based).Top wth a handful of nuts and/or seeds and drizzle with honey or maple syrup for sweetness” HAVING DISCOVERED A FEW of our ‘weeds’ and positively working on these, we can look at feeding and sowing the seeds for a blooming bed of roses in our gut garden. Our gut microbiota (trillions of microbes that live in the gut) loves to dine on dietary fibre. Think of fibre as fertiliser that can feed and enrich the thriving existence of the gut microbes in our garden. Generally speaking, and to cultivate a healthier, stronger and heterogeneous gut microbiota, we should aim to have a wide variety of…

1 Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations Oprah Winfrey’s interviews with the likes of Michelle Obama and Psychologies muse Pema Chödrön are nourishment for the soul and, despite their big names, there’s an intimacy to them. I imagine they are recorded in a lovely Californian garden where you can hear birdsong. Interviews from her TV show are also available, so there’s a rich seam to mine. 2 Walking The Dog – Emily Dean Emily Dean’s just chilling on her dog walk with an interesting friend, letting us eavesdrop. Her lack of correct footwear, not to mention her need to sometimes borrow a dog, has done nothing to hold this broadcaster back from creating a podcast where you can walk alongside them and pass a pleasant hour.A relaxing and interesting meander through a person’s…

‘It takes water, energy and fuel to produce our food, so does it really belong in the bin?’ asks the Love Food, Hate Waste campaign. Half the food we throw away is edible, and keeping it out of landfill is good for our pockets and the planet. Leftovers are inevitable but, with nifty storage and a little planning, you can make the most of yours. Whether it’s meat from the Sunday roast or veg from your weekly farm box, there are plenty of ways to create appetising meals from leftovers. Scan the Love Food, Hate Waste website for recipe ideas and get thrifty with precious food. lovefoodhatewaste.com Well stocked. Warner’s lemon balm gin, £36, warnersdistillery.com; James White prune juice, £2,75, sainsburys.co.uk; Yeo Valley yoghurt, £2,75, groceries.morrisons.com; Fairfields Farm fruit and…

IN THE PRESENT I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your June issue. I’d been a little slack about reading the magazine, but decided to make a point of devouring it cover to cover in one go – something I’d usually not have time to do. I’m so pleased I did. Being away from everything else and fully engaging with the articles was just what I needed. My brother and sister-in-law gave me a subscription for Christmas, and I can honestly say it’s one of the best presents I ve ever had. Thank you , Psychologies ! • Subscribe to ‘Psychologies’ for life-changing content and exclusive access to our Life Leap Club. We’re welcoming new members with a Scentered Wellbeing Ritual aromatherapy mini tin, worth £26. See page 60…

This powerful new book about mental health features the personal experiences of men and their partners, and urges them to open up – not ‘man up’. ‘Big Boys Don’t Cry?’ contains 60 stories from men working in a diverse range of careers, and 10 per cent of proceeds from sales of the book will go to the charities CALM and Mind. See bigboysdontcry.co.uk 95 % OF PUPILS AGED 13 TO 19 BELIEVE OPPORTUNITIES FOR MORE REAL-WORLD LEARNING WOULD IMPROVE SCHOOLS†…

A year or so ago, I decided to become an intuitive eater. Rather than counting calories and working off my meals, I’d trust my body to let me know when it was hungry and what it was hungry for – how hard could it be? The first thing I did was throw out my bathroom scales, and it felt liberating! Then I started to miss them. Over the years, I’d given them the power to control my self-esteem – now what would I do? I decided I’d know I was doing intuitive eating correctly when I only wanted to eat salads, whole grains and maybe an occasional piece of chocolate. And, of course, I would be exercising in a sensible and balanced way, which would probably mean running three times…

• Pop down to your local lido. It’s not quite as exhilarating as natural open water, but at least you can feel the breeze on your skin as you swim. • Lie on your back and stare at the stars. It’s a movie cliche for a reason and, even in the city, the night sky is a thing of wonder. • Visit the most wooded local park in your town or city. Studies† suggest that trees can be particularly effective when it comes to boosting your happiness levels. • Grow something. You don’t need a garden to add to the green in the world – a window box or pot will do. • Take off your shoes. Feeling the earth beneath your feet is a grounding and curative experience. •…

1 Show compassion Be kind to yourself and your partner, and notice how much easier it gets. Acknowledge what makes you both feel safe.You may love face-to-face communication but that may freak out your partner; try sitting or lying next to each other. Speak gently and stay relaxed. If you start feeling tense, take a few deep breaths to calm your nervous system and return you to a relaxed state. 2 Take time to listen If you know that what you are saying will be received without judgment, criticism or harsh words, you will feel a lot less tense about speaking. The role of the listener is crucial. If you are not sure how your partner would like to be listened to, ask them. If it feels uncomfortable at first,…

1 It can take months or years for a person to come to terms with losing someone they loved. Acknowledging that can really help. 2 When someone is mourning, they are going through a unique process of dealing with loss. There is no timescale to an individual’s grief; try to provide support for as long as they need or want it. 3 Telling someone that they are strong or that they will be fine isn’t always helpful. Ask them how they truly feel, and acknowledge the validity of their emotions. 4 They may find it hard to talk about their feelings at first, so assure them that you are there to listen when they are ready. 5 Grieving is a process and, as time passes, people often…

Session one “I left a controlling marriage and need to learn to assert myself ” Wendy* contacted me to book some coaching sessions. I remembered that I had worked with her a couple of years ago when she was offered some workplace coaching by her company. I reread my notes from those sessions. She had been stressed, overworked and had referred to herself as ‘a doormat’. The coaching back then had helped Wendy improve her confidence and become more assertive. I wondered whether she was still battling with her people-pleasing tendencies. She arrived for her session looking more composed and confident than before. ‘I didn’t tell you at the time but, when you coached me before, I was having problems in my marriage,’ she said. ‘The assertiveness skills I learned…

Psychologies’ partnership with Barefoot Coaching gives you the tools to find a coach who meets your needs. Barefoot Coaching has been at the forefront of coaching and coach training for 25 years. It has a proven track record as a provider of high-level coaching and coach training to organisations and senior executives, nationally and internationally. Train as a coach with Barefoot Coaching The Barefoot Coaching International Coach Federation- accredited Postgraduate Certificate in Business and Personal Coaching is one of the most well-established coach training courses in the UK. Barefoot runs regular, free introductions to coach training throughout the year. Visit barefootcoaching. co.uk/taster-mornings to book.…

• Shocked or numb • Sad • Anxious or agitated • Exhausted • Relieved • Guilty • Angry • Calm • Lacking in purpose • Resentful A quarter of all visits to GPs are thought to stem from mental health issues connected to some form of loss. But loss wasn’t only classed as bereavement – types of loss include separation from loved ones incapacitation, migration, relocation, loss of a job, birth of a child and retirement, or professional loss.* Find out more about care and support through terminal illness at mariecurie.org.uk…

For years, I worked as a lawyer in Hong Kong and London, but I wasn’t entirely happy. A friend introduced me to my future husband. He lived in the Peak District and I made the decision to move there. Working for a law firm gave me an identity. I liked putting on a suit and going to work, going to restaurants and chatting to friends over coffee. Overnight, my skills felt irrelevant. I experienced an acute sense of loss that I hadn’t anticipated. I missed my colleagues. I missed having everything organised for me. I even missed the Tube! In the country, people wore mustard and green – I yearned for tailored suits in red and black. Eventually, I joined a writing group. At last, I felt part of a…

1 At the moment, you struggle with feeling: ♥ A bit let down ◆ Like you can’t cope • That nothing will ever be the same again ■ A little lost 2 When things go wrong, you think it’s: ■ Meant to be ♥ Not fair ◆ Your fault • Just your luck 3 You can best recover from a setback when you: ♥ Have the right support • Have something to look forward to ◆ Know it wasn’t your fault ■ Can learn from it 4 If you could eliminate one of these character traits, which one would you choose? ♥ Overthinking ◆ Self-doubt • Worry or anxiety ■ Lack of focus 5 People who love you often tell you to: • Be proud of yourself ■ Trust yourself…

THAT’S WHYEACH product is carefully scrutinised by our Eco Living Editor Ellen Tout to ensure it meets our standards. The chosen products are then tested by our panel of 25 discerning readers to be rated and reviewed. We will only ever include brands we really trust – if it doesn’t match up, it’s not getting in! Cuts out plastic Vegan-friendly and cruelty-free Natural and organic Sustainable and ethical Shows real care for the planet…

Seed Symprove liquid formula is a source of beneficial live microbes for the gut and also feeds existing gut microbiota. I also enjoy Tickles’ Pickles kimchi – spicy deliciousness bursting with beneficial microbes. I love it with eggs at breakfast and it adds something special, taste and texture-wise, to a cheese toastie. • Live formula, £1.86 a day for the 12-week programme, symprove.com; kimchi, £4.25, planetorganic.com Feed If you think your gut garden needs a bit more fertilising, BEAR Nourish prebiotic supplement could provide gentle support. • Essential Daily Superpowder, £34, bearltd.com…

HOPEHIGH with Annabel Deas BBC RADIO 5 LIVE journalist Annabel Deas spent a year with a community in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire, centred around Hope High, a school where teachers are doing everything they can to keep pupils away from drug gangs and knife crime. Deas gains the trust of mums and grans trying to help their teenagers, including a parent who is the victim of cuckooing – where a drug gang has taken over her house. This should be on every PSHE syllabus. UNLOCKINGUS with Brené Brown AT TIMES, SHE MAY BE forced to record from a cupboard surrounded by her son’s dirty clothes, but she’s Brené Brown, after all, so her wisdom could be broadcast from a wheelie bin and we’d still be rapt! On paper, Brown is a…

Karon Grieve is an author, photographer and regular on BBC Radio Scotland. She shares her passion for making supplies for the well-stocked pantry on her blog, Larder Love. Karon wants us to be ‘captain of our kitchen’ – getting organised and wasting as little as possible. Try her fast but elegant ‘Frittata with mint, spinach and feta’, succulent ‘Strawberry and salmon salad’ or fragrant ‘Easy coconut, lemon and ginger cake’. Read more at larderlove.com…

Sometimes, especially when our wings are clipped or we feel as if we’re just going through the motions, we stop imagining and planning the future. Remember that fallow periods in life can be agents of change when we reframe them. Write a colourful description of what you would like to meet on the other side of this strange time. Picture beyond what feels impossible.› Jackee Holder is a coach, facilitator and author of ‘49 Ways To Write Yourself Well’ (Step Beach Press, £12.95); @jackeeholder; jackeeholder.com “Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change ”MARY SHELLEY, FRANKENSTEIN…

ecoYoga mats ecoYoga Ltd has been manufacturing their yoga mats in the UK since 2003. Since only natural materials make sense for a yoga practice the ecoYoga mats are made from 100% natural rubber and jute. Plant-based materials, super grippy and beautiful. Available in 5 colours, including their unique colourfree, and ranging from super cushioned 6mm to travel thin 1mm. ● www.ecoyoga.co.uk Friendinabox Show you care when you can’t be there. Thoughtful gifts in a letterbox-friendly blue box with a “typewritten” letter. Ideal for birthdays, to lift a friend’s spirits, or show support and compassion. Popular boxes include: Be Kind to Yourself, Pamper, Relaxation, Lean On Me, Tea & Sympathy. ● www.friendinabox.co.uk Friendly Soap Friendly Soap is vegan, cruelty-free, made by people paid a living wage, without using plastic, parabens,…