Suddenly, I realised I wasn’t transgender.
I’d never felt like a man, never wanted to be a man.
Back in 2002, when I’d decided to transition, I’d just not wanted to be Debbie any more.
I wanted to erase the past - the bullies, the abuse, the life of misery. Erase me.
I’d thought I could do that by changing gender. But now, as a man, I still hated myself and had even less confidence than when I was a woman.
‘What have I done?’ I cried to Alan.
He’d always been my rock, and I could see the shock on his face as he took it in.
But his love and support didn’t waiver.
‘Oh, love,’ he said, hugging me.
I was soon diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress…
