Innholdsfortegnelse for February 2017 i NEXT

When I look back on last year, it would be fair to say I wasn’t always winning at motherhood. I stuffed up school mufti days, failed to attend a single assembly, and made my boys late for class for no reason other than I was faffing around. On the last week of school, I got a text from my husband: “You forgot the kids’ lunch, they had to scavenge off their teachers”. Yep, they definitely weren’t awarding me the prize for Parent of the Year. And yet… In her story on page 50, writer Sarah Lang introduces us to the concept of the ‘good-enough’ mother. It’s actually an old theory that’s gaining traction again as it dawns on us that we’re not always going to live up to the ideals…

To be in to win this Tous bag, plus its luxury contents, simply send an envelope marked ‘Tous’ with your name, address and phone number to: Your NEXT Bag, Response Bag 500273, Victoria Street West, Auckland 1142, or go to womensweekly.co.nz, click on the ‘win’ tab and enter your unique code: NXTBG0217. All entries must be received by February 28, 2017. TERMS AND CONDITIONS: Information on how to enter forms part of these terms and conditions. Entry into this competition is deemed acceptance of these terms and conditions. Entry is open only to New Zealand residents. Employees of Bauer Media Group, all prize suppliers, and their affiliates, agencies and immediate families are ineligible to enter. Competition commences January 12. All entries must be received by February 28, 2017. The prize…

‘I certainly didn’t feel compelled to stay in Auckland and try to climb some kind of ladder’ It’s the time of year when, with a bit of breathing space, you might sit down and start mapping out your New Year’s resolutions. Alison Pugh has just one elusive goal in mind: a slightly less tumultuous year than the few that have preceded it. As far as milestones go, Pugh has clocked up quite a few in the past two years: engagement to her musician partner Jo Barus, first baby, first home, experiencing her first disaster zone and her first breast-feeding disaster simultaneously (we’ll get to that). She’s also returned to both her hometown of Christchurch and her first love: reporting. Pugh became a household name when she took on the coveted…

1 Choose a term that resonates with you, eg ‘I am enough’, ‘a sufficient mother’, ‘an imperfect mother’, ‘a perfectly adequate mother’. 2 Consciously change the question you ask yourself to ‘Am I a good-enough mother?’ (or whatever term you prefer). 3 Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who was worrying that she wasn’t a good mother. 4 Choose to be excellent at some things (eg messy play, cooking) and accept being average at others. 5 For pre-schoolers, choose only one high-energy outing a day. For schoolchildren, one weekly activity is enough – for them and you. 6 Don’t worry about others judging your parenting. They’re almost definitely not doing so – and if they are, so what? 7 Don’t feel you always have to entertain them.…

‘I’m not interested in levelling the playing field. I want to build a whole new field’ Vicki Saunders is building her very own field of dreams – a radical new take on the global economy driven by the uniquely female characteristics of community, caring and nurturing. While traditional venture capitalists are still engaging with the idea bolder-is-better, the Canadian-born entrepreneur, mentor and adviser is engaging women around the world with a far fresher approach. Saunders wants to completely overhaul the way the world does business, through empowering female entrepreneurs and committing to creating a better world through a global network designed to radically transform how we support, finance and celebrate women. “I’m not interested in levelling the playing field,” she says from her Toronto office. “I want to build a…

STAGE ONE: PLANT The plant stage provides a framework for where you are now, and where you want to end up. This is the crux of the pivot, and I encourage you to spend more time with this stage than you might think necessary. First, acknowledge what’s already working – what are your strengths, interests, experiences and networks? These form the greatest leverage for your pivot. Also consider what success looks like one year from now: what are you most excited about? What would you like to become an expert at? What kind of impact do you want to have and on whom? Answer the following questions: If money was no issue, how would you spend your time? What excites you most? What is the compliment you hear most often?…

Remember the good old uni days? The heady mix of learning and socialising? And while you were staring across the lecture theatre at that guy you met at the student bar the night before, two 30-something women in the front row were raising their hands to answer every question – and never joined the rest of you for drinks. Fast-forward your life – a decade or two of work, maybe marriage and kids – and you could be one of those women, dashing off once the lecture’s over to the feed the children or get back to work. According to a 2014 Ministry of Education report, the shift towards more Kiwis gaining bachelors or higher qualifications continued from 2013 to 2014, with the highest increases in the 35-44 and 45-54…

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GLOWING STRONG Keep that golden skin for longer with hydrating body lotions. 1 Exfoliate with Pure Fiji Coconut Crème Body Scrub, $35.50. It now uses jojoba beads, so is more environmentally friendly. 2 The Body Shop’s body butters, $39, are rich in shea butter, which is intensely hydrating. 3 If cream moisturisers feel too thick, try Living Nature Refreshing Body Lotion, $35. With a thinner consistency, it’s fast-absorbing and has manuka honey and manuka extract to moisturise. 4 Keep your colour with self-tan cream. Clarins Delicious Self Tanning Cream, $55, gives an even, radiant tan. It’s enriched with hydrating cocoa bean and aloe vera. 5 Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula with Vitamin E Moisturizing Body Oil, $13.50, is lightweight, easily absorbed and leaves no residue. Dior is launching a cushion compact…

The World Health Organisation placed New Zealand third in the world for lifetime prevalence of suffering from an anxiety disorder We might be known as a happy-go-lucky nation, but New Zealand has one of the highest rates of anxiety disorders in the world. In 2009, the World Health Organisation placed New Zealand third in the world for lifetime prevalence of suffering from an anxiety disorder, and it’s now estimated that one in four people suffers from anxiety. Perhaps even more concerning are the figures from the Mental Health Foundation that show that in 2013, almost half a million Kiwis were prescribed medication for anxiety and depression – an increase of more than 20% over five years. We’re certainly not alone in facing what experts are calling ‘the anxiety epidemic’ –…

Can yoga make you a better mum? Elena Brower is one of several international yoga stars coming to New Zealand as part of the Great Lake Taupo Wanderlust event in February. She tells NEXT how yoga has helped her through addiction and perimenopause and to become a better mum. What does yoga have to offer women in their 40s and 50s who haven’t tried it before? Yoga offers all of us a new connection to our bodies, each time we practise. It helps me feel centred in myself, so I can more readily locate my stability and my capacity – in every relationship and project of my life. How can yoga and the philosophy behind it make you a better mother or partner? Yoga and meditation help me…

Pear, rocket, blue cheese, walnut and prosciutto pizza Pizza dough (see recipe overleaf) Roasted or fresh tomato sauce (see recipe overleaf) 1 pear, halved, core removed, thinly sliced Olive oil Blue cheese, crumbled Walnut halves Prosciutto (optional) Rocket leaves Balsamic vinegar or fig vincotto Sea salt 1 Heat the wood oven to 350°C or the home oven to its maximum heat. 2 Shape the pizza dough, then brush on a very thin layer of tomato sauce. Arrange the sliced pear on top and drizzle with oil. Add the cheese and walnuts, then cook in the hot oven for 2-3 minutes. 3 Add the prosciutto, if using. Finish with the rocket leaves and sprinkles of oil, balsamic vinegar and sea salt. Makes 1 x 25cm diameter pizza from each dough ball.…

HOW TO GET THERE: Previously, if you wanted to visit Saigon, you had to fly via Australia or another Asian city, but between March and October Air New Zealand flies direct from Auckland to Ho Chi Minh City, making the 11-hour trip that much simpler. YOU CAN’T LEAVE SAIGON WITHOUT… having a martini at the rooftop bar of the Rex Hotel. It might not be the cheapest drink in town, but for a fabulous view over the city and the chance to visit one of the most popular haunts of American journos during the war, it’s worth it. WHAT TO AVOID: Or not, depending on your disposition, but I wasn’t keen on tasting the tiny whole birds – feet, bones, beak and all – fried in woks in front of…

AQUARIUS JAN 21 – FEB 19 RELATIONSHIPS You love a change of scene, so if someone makes your heart beat a little faster this month, there will be repercussions for an existing relationship. Being discreet isn’t exactly your strong suit either, so tread carefully. There’s no need to hurt someone if you can avoid it; use that Aquarian imagination. A clash of wills could complicate family life on the weekend of February 25-26. Someone you care about deeply is facing a big problem. But “can’t be fixed” isn’t in your vocabulary. MONEY Reluctant Jupiter and unmanageable Mercury in your birth sign will place a strain on your finances in the first part of February. You’ll need to be careful with your money. Expect a number of demands early on and…

Super-excited to join the modern world of internet dating, it was a bit of an anti-climax “The conventional wisdom is that it is never, ever, ever a good idea to have sex with the ex. On one level, this makes sense: they did yell at you and make you cry, which isn’t exactly effective foreplay. But sometimes when you’re feeling a little lost, a little self-destructive and in dire need of something more comforting than chocolate (although studies vary on this – some find chocolate is actually more satisfying), you’ll think about going there: they know what to do with your bits, and you won’t have to face the supreme awkwardness of seeing someone else’s love truncheon and quite possibly letting slip a nervous laugh. Hooking up with my ex…

Ali Pugh Ready for her close-up Having flown to Auckland from Christchurch for the day, Ali and her 14-month-old daughter made a big impact at the NEXT shoot. Little Thea made her studio debut as she wandered into the shot to see what Mum was up to (inset, centre) – much to the delight of everyone on set. Luckily, she was wearing an outfit that worked perfectly with Ali’s. What a team! Victoria Beckham Get the look Recreate the style icon’s signature smoky eye and fresh, dewy complexion with: Victoria Beckham Estée Lauder: 1 Morning Aura Illuminating Crème, $190. 2 EyeInk in Black Myrrh, $72. 3 Sumptuous Knockout Mascara, $59. 4 Pure Color Envy Palette in Dark Ego, $108. 5 Pure Color Envy Sculpting Lipstick, $61.…

I’m excited by the next generation. I love that they stand up for what they believe in. I love their eloquence and compassion Making a fresh start in the new year means different things to different people. With each passing year come new priorities, new opportunities and new concerns. For me, I increasingly see the world through the eyes of my children and the many other young people in my life. In the aftermath of Brexit in the UK and the election of Donald Trump as the American president, I feel more regret than disbelief, a knot in my stomach I can only liken to a deep loss – of a previous time when people shared a real sense of community and connection. It’s impossible to ignore the disconnect between…

Hewlett and Packard. Ben and Jerry. Lennon and McCartney. History is littered with friends who made successful careers together. It’s no wonder: experts say that when launching a business, it’s only natural we turn to our friends. They’re who we trust the most and rely on to have our backs. Surely that should spill over into the professional setting. Don’t be so sure, says Harvard Business School professor Noam Wasserman, who studied around 10,000 technology and life science start-ups over a 10-year period. Wasserman found that the least stable partnerships were between people who had been friends before they went into business together, with a turnover of founders of around 28% – even teams of virtual strangers were more likely to stick together, suggested Wasserman. Anna Dean, who started Wellington…

Worldwomen17 is a conference by women, for women, to give guests a space where they can be inspired by powerful local and international individuals who are manifesting change in education, health and business. The inaugural event is founded by businesswoman and philanthropist Theresa Gattung, intuitive healer Barbara Gabler and executive assistant Chris Woodwiss. They were concerned about the state of the world and so created charitable trust and forum, worldwomen, for women to share their knowledge, to look at issues differently and to question the status quo. Gattung hopes, through worldwomen, “to be a catalyst for women being inspired to manifest amazing outcomes for themselves, and to create meaningful change in the world in the company of other women”. Alongside a keynote speech by SheEO founder and award-winning business mentor…

‘I can help people make sense of it all. It’s not so complicated – it just requires discipline and diligence’ According to Monica Parikh, there are two important subjects that are vital for a happy life but that the education system fails to instruct us in: personal finances and relationships. “Some people seem to have innate skill with money,” she observes. “They start with a penny and make millions of dollars, while other people have millions of dollars but end up bankrupt.” And it’s similar, according to Parikh, with dating and relationships. “Some people seem to play the game better than others – to have better skills and intuition when it comes to reading people and relationships.” She doesn’t promise to make you millions (sorry), but the New York-based 44-year-old…

Catherine Stephens, manager of Career Development and Employment Services at the University of Auckland, says the key is to ask yourself why, how and what. WHY do you want to study? Is it to change the direction of your career or to progress it? Have a clear understanding about what’s required, available opportunities and the sector’s employment outlook. Reality-check your ideas by talking to someone in the industry, or doing work experience. Discuss your ideas with those who know you well. HOW will you manage study with your current commitments? Identify support people and systems that’ll enable you to manage changes in financial, study and family life. WHAT will you study? Research options. Read the course content and its requirements. Also, where? Full-time or part-time? Attend open days and talk to…

1 This gorgeous pendant would look stunning layered with finer chains of different lengths. Silver Snowflake Obsidian, $299, Cathy Pope Jewellery. 2 I’d wear this sheer shirt with a structured jacket for a sophisticated daytime look or over a cami or lace bra for an edgier evening look. Monaco shirt, $149, Liam. 3 This small but perfectly formed bag fits everything you need and transitions easily from day to night. Solar crossbody bag, $320, Karen Walker. 4 Footwear is a real focus right now and these mules are just so versatile. Gaba croc in black, $220, Ziera. 5 The simple print and style of this dress makes it a chic, trans-seasonal option. Margot shirt dress, $549, Helen Cherry. 6 I can’t go past a classic cami for summer. This silk one works well with most…

Splurge Tom Ford Lip Color in Bruised Plum, $86. Tom Ford has put the sexy back into cosmetics. His lipsticks are densely pigmented and glossy when they need to be. This deep plum is now an icon for the brand. Chanel Le Vernis Nail Colour in Rouge Noir, $46. Famously worn by Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction, this blood red shade of polish has become a bestseller for Chanel. Diorshow Mascara, $64. This iconic mascara has Dior’s revolutionary air-lock wiping system, which keeps the mascara fresh until the last swipe. Available in six gorgeous shades. Eve Lom Cleanser, $116. Eve Lom created her game-changing cleansing balm 25 years ago and it’s been hailed “probably the best cleanser in the world” by Vogue UK. It melts away makeup, softens and smooths.…

Hobbies tend to fall by the wayside for women in a way that doesn’t happen to men FOR ART’S SAKE Relive the freedom of your high school art class but one step better – with wine! Paint ’n’ Sip Studio (paintnsip.co.nz) started in Christchurch and now has an offshoot in Queenstown; you go along and spend two hours painting while drinking wine and eating cheese. It’s a similar set-up at Auckland’s Drink ’n’ Draw (find them on meetup.com), where you complete a life drawing over a glass or two of sav. So cultured and a no-pressure way to brush up on your artistry. SPIN THE WHEEL If you found TVNZ One’s The Great Pottery Throw Down as enthralling as we did, maybe a spin on the pottery wheel is for…

HOT OFF THE PRESS Good Me Bad Me, Ali Land Michael Joseph, $37 Nurtured by evil, haunted by the past, teenager Annie has a lot on her plate. Her mother is a serial killer of young children. Now in the foster system, Milly, as Annie is now known, has to deal not only with her mother’s looming court trial but with the battle inside her: good Milly vs bad Milly. A truly suspenseful, weird and wonderful thriller. Double-Edged Sword, Simonne Butler with Andra Jenkin Mary Egan Publishing, $38 Simonne Butler dominated New Zealand headlines 13 years ago, when her meth-crazed partner Antoine Dixon cut off her hands with a samurai sword. The astonishingly resilient Aucklander who underwent multiple surgeries to reattach her hands, writes grippingly not just about…

The GLO cookbook focuses on plant-rich, nourishing meals. Simply GLOing It’s well into barbecue season, and if you’ve had enough burgers and sausages, it might be time to try some organic alternatives. Sarah Tanner, of Greenleaf Organics, has released a cookbook titled GLO, $35, focusing on nourishing, plant-rich meals. Below she shares her take on the BLT, using tempeh – a soy product that’s rich in magnesium, protein and vitamin B2, among other goodies. The T.L.A.T. .4 wholemeal pita pockets .2 heirloom tomatoes, finely sliced .1 cos lettuce, washed and leaves removed For the tempeh ‘bacon’ .1 packet organic, non-GMO tempeh, finely sliced (Tanner suggests the Tonzu brand) ¼ cup tamari .2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar, raw with the ‘mother’ .1 tsp maple syrup, optional .1 tsp liquid smoke, you…

Have you tried one of the Batiste Dry Shampoo new releases, Batiste Floral and Batiste Marrakech? These two new products have fantastic fragrances, leaving your hair not only smelling great but with extra volume and texture. With Batiste on hand you are ready for anything! RRP $12.99. Like A Vitamin 10% Sensitive Cream by Suzy H Skin Nutrition is medical-grade skincare with high strength active ingredients such as topical vitamins, peptides and glycolics. Like A Vitamin helps to reduce lines and wrinkles and keeps your skin glowing with health and beauty. Suitable for all skin types including sensitive, breakout and acne prone. RRP $65.95. Visit www.suzyh.com. NZ Spa has the perfect travel pack for summer weekend getaways. Each set includes Body Lotion, Body Scrub, Body Soufflé and Shower Gel in…

You need your mother to be the grown-up, even if that means you don’t go to Rhythm and Vines together I’m obsessed with a TV show called Gilmore Girls. It’s about a mother-and-daughter relationship. Lorelai had Rory when she was 16. Lorelai is so cool and evolved she wears a lipstick called Vicious Trollop (because Dirty Whore was taken) and hot pants to her daughter’s first day at school. When two boys fighting over Rory trash a house, you might expect Lorelai would be angry – instead she serenades Rory with the lines from Wind Beneath My Wings (“Did you ever know that you’re my hero…”) and the two of them throw deviled eggs at Rory’s boyfriend’s car. The pair talk more like they’re peers. Rory: Mum? Lorelai: Oh. Rory:…

FEMINISM IN FULL FORCE I’ve been enjoying your latest issue while on holiday, and just want to say how great it is to see so many strong women featured in NEXT, from Natalie Portman, to Tererai Trent, to our own Claire Chitham and Pippa Wetzell. It’s refreshing to hear how they’re helping others and their views on feminism; I feel women can sometimes be a bit afraid to use that word, so it’s good to read about women who embrace it. I’m also so glad to see Crohn’s disease given some attention – my sister suffers from something similar, so it’s nice to have the spotlight on something that can be hard to live with but isn’t widely known about. Amanda TEEN TIPS Your January NEXT was a great issue,…

Will Ivanka be a secret weapon in making a Trump presidency more palatable? Ivanka Trump: What’s in a name? FACEBOOK LIKES: 1.9m INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS: 1.9m ESTIMATED NET WORTH: $150m As her father’s favourite child, and a business force in her own right, Ivanka Trump may be the bridge needed to connect a country divided by their new president. “I learnt a long time ago that I can’t control the opinions of others or what they project on me. All I can do is live my life and I’ve tried to do that.” If President Donald Trump could invent his perfect woman, it would be his daughter. Ivanka Trump is white, rich, a former model, a business brain, a mother of three, a millionaire. At 35, she’s the modern-day American dream.…

Danni Barnes and Michelle Douglas Respect each other’s values, skills and needs. Be realistic – honest goals need to be discussed openly. Jessica Venning-Bryan and Nikki Bloomfield You don’t have to do it all yourself – the beauty of a partnership is that you can share tasks and responsibilities. Make sure you both truly believe in the wider purpose of the business – otherwise why are you doing it? Anjali Stewart and Rachel Easting Before taking the plunge, make sure you know each other well – including the good and bad bits – and that you truly enjoy spending time together. If you’re harbouring any doubts about going into business together, it may not be such a good idea after all. Go with your gut instinct.…

Polarity is the pull between a masculine [alpha] giver and a feminine [beta] receiver. But it’s not gender specific – it’s behaviour that counts. These tips will help you assess which type of energy you have: 1 In initial contact, the masculine partner speaks first and asks for phone or email information. The feminine partner uses a flirtatious smile and eye contact to draw potential partners near. 2 The masculine partner will use money to show generosity, including paying for dates. The feminine partner loves themselves more than any partner. They give, but always less than they receive. 3 The masculine partner prioritises being respected for their thinking. They choose partners who are receptive to their opinions, suggestions and plans. 4 The feminine partner prefers being cherished for their feelings.…

Embracing the attributes of the six goddesses is about accepting every aspect of being a woman On my 19th birthday, my mum Nancy sent me a mug with the word ‘Goddess’ repeated several times on it. Now, it sits in pride of place on my bedside table. Every morning, even when I don’t particularly feel as though I’m in my feminine power, it reminds me of my purpose in life. Whenever I overhear women talking about channelling their inner goddess, I can’t help but smile. I don’t recall a time when I didn’t know about those six dominant women of the Ancient Greeks. There’s the warrior Athena, the adventurer Artemis, sensual Aphrodite, powerful Hera, mystical Persephone and the nurturer Demeter. When I was a child, our house was full of…

‘The only thing I change is my lipstick, which I match to my mood’ Karen Murrell is New Zealand’s very own lipstick queen, having created her range of ‘good enough to eat’ lipsticks in 2008. She offers 18 shades, plus a moisture stick, and in March will launch lip liners to match. Get ready time: 6 minutes. “I think it’s important to find a makeup look that suits you and perfect it. Not all trends suit everyone. I wear the same makeup look every day: Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Foundation; (1) Lancôme Khôl Hypnôse eye pencil in Brown, $53; (3) MAC Big Brow Pencil, $40; Chanel eyeshadow; MAC Blusher in What I Fancy; Giorgio Armani Black Ecstasy Mascara and Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk Loose Powder. “After the age of 35,…

LOOK TO THE PAST What were your favourite hobbies or after-school activities when you were a child? There are adult versions of all the pursuits you once loved – ballet, horse riding, singing and drama – and many adults just like yourself out there who would love to get back into them. TRIAL AND ERROR Unlike when you were 15 and your mum signed you up for a year of debating because it would be “character-building”, you’re now master of your own domain and don’t have to commit to a damned thing if you don’t want to. So, why not try a whole bunch of activities and see what fits? Ask if you can head along to a class or workshop just as an observer and see if it would…

Thai prawns with soba noodles and asparagus 200g green tea soba noodles .340g thin asparagus, halved crossways .½ cup shelled frozen edamame, thawed 1 cup fresh mint leaves 1 cup fresh Thai basil leaves .16 (1.2kg) uncooked large prawns, peeled, deveined, with tails intact 2 Tbsp olive oil 2 limes, cut into wedges Dressing 2 Tbsp finely grated palm sugar 1/3 cup lime juice ¼ cup fish sauce .2 fresh small red chillies, deseeded finely chopped ¼ cup peanut oil 1 To prepare the dressing, whisk all of the ingredients together in a small bowl until the sugar dissolves. 2 Cook the noodles in a saucepan of boiling water for 2 minutes or until almost tender. Add the asparagus and cook for 2 minutes or until the noodles and asparagus…

A tiny Vietnamese woman wearing a permanent scowl and lipstick two shades too bright is yelling at me to take off my clothes. Should I: A) start stripping? She might weigh about the same as a bag of sugar but she’s scary as heck; B) back out of the room as quickly as possible; or C) ask if that means underwear as well? After an awkward pause, I settle for C, which earns me a look of such scorn that I remove my T-shirt and shorts with a speed I didn’t know I was capable of. I’m in a windowless room in a skinny back alley in Ho Chi Minh City (or Saigon, as the locals still call it). The heat feels immovable, like a brick wall, and sweat pools…

One of the dismaying things about ageing is that your income stays the same but your list of Intolerances grows “Glove Boy has an audition in London, and I have to be there for work, so we decide to make a day of it. “The couple that plays together stays together!” He gives me a dazzling smile. In fact, pretty much the only thing we do is play: life has become one big merry-go-round of impromptu parties, lunches that go till five and dinners that end at dawn. Somehow I keep working through it all – but (I stifle my inner voice of anxiety) work doesn’t seem high on Glove Boy’s agenda. “If I get this role, I’ll be on set six days a week. For months.” A shadow flits…

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