Mindful October 2019

I used to think it was a kind of toughening up, a leathering or weathering of our inner and outer resources that hardened our weaknesses and made us less vulnerable to the slings and arrows in life. Hemingway’s phrase about being “strong in all the broken places” seemed to poetically capture what I’d considered resilience. But I don’t subscribe to that theory any longer. No, I’ve come to see that resilience is the opposite. It requires mental suppleness, flexibility, and a raw vulnerability that allow us to dive deeply into our psyche—especially the broken places—and see ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, our beauty and longings, hurts and wounds, shadows, worst delusions and misdeeds, and to hold all of that with compassion, curiosity, and loving care. And when we become more…

Who is the most resilient person you know and why? MY HUSBAND. However dark the problem may be, he can see past it to the sunshine on the other side! MY MOM—she took care of my dad with Alzheimer’s, as well as other residents of the nursing home. She carried on with grace and strength, even after she lost her love of 65 years. MY DAUGHTER. I can’t believe how strong she is. No matter what life throws at her, she is able to look at it through clear eyes. A FRIEND WHO IS 35 YEARS SOBER. She has the skills and she practices them! “My friend has been a Wellness Specialist at a middle school for over 32 years, and still shows up with caring and laughter every day. She always…

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SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL Meditation flash mobs are upending the idealized quiet and calm practice setting, with public group meditations. “In public can be a richer place to practice,” says C. T. Tamura, founder of The Sitting Project, which hosts free sit sessions in Times Square, NYC. “As meditators, we’re trying to open up to the world.” Many find that sitting silently amid hustle and bustle is one way to do that. MINDFUL CITIES LAUNCHES In May, Flint, Michigan, became the first city to adopt mindfulness programming to support the community. Civic leaders took part in Collective Wisdom, a two-day gathering featuring the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute mindfulness-training program, created at Google. Supported by the Foundation for a Mindful Society—the parent organization of Mindful—and The Crim…

Q My teenage son has ADHD. I think mindfulness would help him, but he just rolls his eyes when I suggest it. Is there anything I can say to convince him to try it? A ADHD is a medical condition of executive function, not attention specifically. Executive function includes cognitive skills related to organization, planning, and goal setting. It impacts more than routine distractibility; it’s a “life management” disorder. Teen ADHD creates a challenging developmental conflict. Teens typically want more independence. Perhaps because they don’t want to feel “different,” they often avoid their own medical issues. And since executive function is integral to judgment and planning, teens with ADHD are behind in their capacity to manage life independently. For parents, family mindfulness begins with living it ourselves. From that start,…

Staff at Gwinnett County Animal Shelter in Georgia helped an evicted man and his dog. Katie Corbett was moved by the plight of Mr. Williams, a disabled veteran. Corbett found a foster for the dog, Lucky, and started a GoFundMe that raised more than twice its goal of $5,000. The money will help man and dog get back on their feet. Three teens in southern Ontario ended a night of swimming with a more vigorous workout. Finding a car emitting smoke on a quiet highway around 1 a.m. and a driver who couldn’t afford a tow, the teens pushed while the driver steered home, more than four miles away. “We were raised to help no matter what,” Billy Tarbett, 15, told the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Frustrated by the lack of…