Innholdsfortegnelse for January/February 2018 i Metro NZ

Auckland’s Best Schools Check out Metro’s updated 2017 guide to Auckland’s secondary schools, which shows how well they are performing based on our unique analysis of academic achievement. New at www.noted.co.nz 01-DUBIOUS ACHIEVEMENTS A look at this year’s twits, nimrods and numpties. 02-BEST OF AUCKLAND Favourite and funniest residents, best dressed and more — we round up the best (and worst) of 2017. 03-URBAN DESIGN The heritage-listed Stone-house building in Mission Bay gets a makeover. 04-RESTAURANT REVIEWS Our First Looks offer sneak peeks at the latest restaurant, bar and cafe openings. Also, hear from food critic Simon Farrell-Green on Latin-European restaurant Barulho. METRO ON YOUR  IPAD- Download the new issue and back issues on iTunes (search: Metro Magazine NZ). STAY IN  TOUCH- Subscribe to…

01—Are you overdue for a detox, or do you always smell of old ham and trifle? 02—Do you think you might have caught kauri dieback? 03—Or did you just take the abolition of National Standards as an excuse to let yourself go? 04—Leighton Smith steps down… Does that mean the 1950s are finally over? 05—How will ZB listeners react when Kerre McIvor attempts to drag them kicking and screaming into the 1990s? 06—Were the Vogue creatives secretly disappointed they couldn’t have Andrew Little in a photo shoot? 07—Sales of “paleo” up 65 per cent in 2017… Is that why some people’s feet are so furry? 08—Look at these cavemen go? 09—Heartbreak Island… Like the amount of crap on TV didn’t break our hearts years ago? 10—Surely the paleo diet prohibits…

A low stage, a long bar, a garden harbouring hidden nooks and crannies, and a suitably seedy carpark into which you could spill drunkenly, ears ringing, after chucking-out time. Ah, the Kings Arms Tavern certainly has been Auckland’s perfect music dive. Its closure at the end of February, after more than three decades as a home to rock and roll, likely won’t put a dent in the amount of live music in the city, but — as evidenced by the 6500 people who petitioned against it being demolished to make way for apartments — its passing does seem to be an assault on Auckland’s collective musical memory. As that petition stated, “We must stop this! Musicians hang out there all the time.” Yes, Whammy Bar and the Wine Cellar have…

You’ll find Honeybear in Ponsonby Central, in a small space on the corner with a lot of windows and a sort of airline-departurelounge-meets-Moroccansouk vibe: pink neon lights, banquette seating, tiny tables close together. Perhaps not surprisingly, most people sit outside if they can. It’s the newest restaurant from Che Barrington and Mark Wallbank, who also own Blue Breeze Inn and Chop Chop next door, as well as the excellent Woodpecker Hill in Parnell. It’s been billed as Burmese, but it’s more complicated than that — think Burma via India and even Sri Lanka. (The name, incidentally, is inspired by the idea that you should eat with your paws, as people do in Burma. How people who live where it’s standard to eat with your hands feel about being compared to…

Paula Morris For much of this summer, I’m hunkering down in the northern winter, in Latvia and then the US. I wanted a suitably big, chilly book to read, so I’m slow-reading War and Peace , the Vintage translation by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky. When I was in my teens, I raced through this novel, but now I’m taking my time and savouring it. The inspiration for this was a close-reading session given by my Auckland University colleague Brian Boyd, looking at the opening pages of Anna Karenina. Throughout the year, so much of my reading is dictated by deadlines, and I’m enjoying taking my time, making notes, and looking things up. When I get home I’ll read two books I’ve been anticipating with much pleasure:…

“Why no head? Where is it? Are the corpses Egyptians? Who carried out the killings? Why? Who attacked Gavius? What else did he see after the Egyptians went into the bar? Is it about sex? Extortion? Gambling? Or is it lentils?” The questions are posed by Flavia Albia, a widow and private investigator, under some pressure to solve a case linked to The Garden of the Hesperides, an eatery in the largest city in the world. It’s multicultural, pigeon-riddled Rome, AD 89. There’s wondrous architecture — and a lingering memory of Nero’s palace with its dining room that revolved day and night like the heavens; there’s largesse in the form of public fountains, toilets, baths, gardens, racecourses and amphitheatres. But, the paranoid Domitian is emperor, residents are still unsettled by…

Lady Bird Directed by Greta Gerwig Opens February 15 Five minutes into Lady Bird , I found myself unexpectedly sobbing. While Hollywood takes glacial steps towards inclusivity, true moments of recognition are still too few and far between for those of us who are not white, male gods or superheroes. But in the claustrophobic confines of a beat-up car, in one of the best movie opening scenes of late, an overworked mum, Marion (Laurie Metcalf), and her talky daughter, Christine (Saoirse Ronan), are wound up in an utterly domestic, very funny and painfully recognisable argument. It is unexpectedly emotional, with a refreshingly real tone that Lady Bird pulls off right to the end. Writer-director Greta Gerwig — until now best known as an actress — has taken…

When the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh sailed into Auckland aboard the SS Gothic in December 1953, it was the first time a reigning monarch had visited this country. In the days that followed, the young royals’ dizzying itinerary included not only a picnic at Puhoi and a cannery inspection in Hastings, but plentiful opportunities for commoners to watch their motorcade pass by. These regal street parades saw whole towns turn out to glimpse a gloved hand or a gracious smile, and few cars failed to proudly fly a Union Jack. Fast-forward to November 2017 and a procession of cars swathed in the Tongan flag brings Queen St to a standstill amid a collective shout of car horns. What do they say about us, these public spectacles, whether official rituals…

Readers whose letters to the editor are published in the next issue of Metro will receive a copy of the cookbook Ripe Recipes: A Fresh Batch . Entry is open to readers whose letters include the writer’s full address (not for publication). Letters may be edited for space and clarity. Email metro@bauermedia. co.nz  by February 12, 2018. Ripe Recipes: A Fresh Batch Beatnik Publishing ($50) Freshness and vitality are at the heart of the second cookbook from Ripe Deli, impressing Aucklanders for over 15 years. Terms and conditions: Entry is open to NZ residents. Employees of Bauer Media Group (LP) NZ, their affiliates, agencies and immediate families are ineligible to enter. Entries are limited to one per person. This…

I never wanted to go camping. Not that I had anything against it — I just never wanted to do it myself. Maybe it had to do with memories of the occasional foray into a tent as a teenager, waking up with a hangover in a stuffy tent on a half-deflated air bed with nothing to eat but some old sausages, and no shade. Or maybe it was associations with childhood swimming camps over the summer holidays, spent at the Cambridge Motor Camp, and getting up early in the morning to train at the Cambridge Pool in preparation for the Auckland Swimming Championships each year while my mates were at the beach. (Possibly, for this reason, I am now pathological about holidays: just ask my wife.) Cambridge aside, we never…

When a novelist wins a major award, a kind of erasure takes place and a new fiction is created: that of the preternatural talent, the cultural seer slowly crafting parables that tell us more about ourselves than we can see. What fades from the story is that, until success arrives, life for writers is usually precarious, impoverished, and frankly a bit shit. Man Booker winner Richard Flanagan’s most recent novel, First Person, is based on just such a period in his own life. In 1991, the hard-up Tasmanian author got a call from Australia’s greatest con man, John Friedrich. Friedrich had a proposition: that Flanagan ghost-write his autobiography before his trial for fraud began in six weeks. If Flanagan could deliver, he’d get $10,000. Three weeks after the call, Friedrich…

CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG REST (Because Music/Warner) In 2013, photographer Kate Barry fell out the window of her fourth-floor apartment in Paris. Her death was assumed to be a suicide. The daughter of Bond-movie soundtrack composer John Barry and actress Jane Birkin, she’d grown up in France with Birkin’s subsequent lover, Serge Gainsbourg, and her half-sister to that pairing, Charlotte Gainsbourg. The story of the torrid, booze-soaked lifestyle of Birkin and Gainsbourg is the stuff of celebrity legend, punctuated by one of the most controversially racy songs of all time, “Je t’aime… moi non plus”, and later, the icky father-daughter duet with Charlotte, “Lemon Incest”. The love affair was well over by 1980, with Serge dead just over 10 years later. Meanwhile, the lifestyle made it easy for Kate to fall into…

I’ll let you in on something — I’ve never dreamt of being a bird, see only the shape of myself plunging through water, a fish flecking its tail, fins stroking waves in the charcoal sky of dusk beneath the sea. Nights I have dreamt this, and come up to breathe in a room curtained in darkness. By a window I have watched headlights stream down the road, sunlight hide behind the old villa next to us, heard the pledge of autumn in the sigh of another leaf the wind sashay the green orange pines on the hill, and in the skitter of grey-pink clouds polishing waves I remember what you said to me once — there are few who can feel the shadow of the murdered behind them at twilight,…

“The one-off celebration of all things queer, indigenous and experimental marks the Basement’s 10-year anniversary.” Akashi Fisiinaua, 23, is the voice of Auckland’s burgeoning vogue scene: rocking the mic in hotpants and heels, riffing between rap and chant, keeping the night flowing. She’s also on a mission to create space and opportunities for other queer artists. “I’m a working woman and I’m in the business of creating meaningful culture for my girls and myself.” The Toi Whakaari graduate and member of arts collective Fafswag is curating Xhrome Xrysalis, a one-off celebration of all things queer, indigenous and experimental, to mark the Basement theatre’s 10-year anniversary in 2018. The entire venue will be taken over with voguing, pop-up art installations, a catwalk, DJs and more. The name pays homage to female…

As one of the partners at Strategy, I need to travel to Auckland for meetings every week. We have studios in Wellington, Christchurch, Sydney and Tokyo. I’m responsible for the media side of the business, so my team and I have to make sure we’re looking after our clients, and that the teams on the ground in each of our cities have everything they need to be successful. At the start of a typical 24 hours in Auckland, I like to get to the hotel nice and early to drop off my luggage. I read through my emails and check in with the team to ensure we’re prepared. The proximity of Cordis is fantastic. It allows me to easily head down to visit not only our team in the city…

THE FLORIDA PROJECT From writer-director Sean Baker (Tangerine), one of the best-reviewed films of the last year. The focus is on the experience of children living in poverty, which hardly sounds uplifting; but by all accounts this is sweet and moving and brilliantly acted by its mostly preteen cast. Opens December 21. THE POST The story of the Pentagon Papers — the most famous leaked-document scandal of the pre-WikiLeaks era — is brought to the big screen by a little-known director named Steven Spielberg, with Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks as the Washington Post bosses who took on the United States Government. Opens January 11. DOWNSIZING Alexander Payne can sometimes veer too close to the sentimental bog lurking at the heart of the “comedy-drama” landscape; other times he makes masterpieces,…

You’ve decided to quit the nine-to-five grind and open your own restaurant/bar/cafe — the thrill of becoming a “someone” in Auckland’s burgeoning hospitality scene has simply become too hard to resist. The question now is, which venture to choose? That lamb roast you made last week was as tough as old boots, and you don’t have any chef-friends, so a restaurant’s off the cards; 5am wake-up calls sound pretty unappealing... maybe a cafe’s not a great idea, either. What about a bar? It seems like a no-brainer, an obvious money-spinner: buy booze on the cheap and flog it off at 70 times the price. What does a dodgy bottle of vodka cost these days anyway — $30? Buy from a liquidation sale and that figure could be even lower. Don’t…

CENTRAL CITY AMANO 66-68 Tyler St, Britomart BASEMENT THEATRE BAR Lower Greys Ave BEIRUT 85 Fort St, Britomart BELLOTA 91 Federal St BROTHERS BEER City Works Depot, 90 Wellesley St West CARETAKER 38 Roukai Lane, Britomart THE CHAMBERLAIN & TALULAH 120 Quay St COLEY & PUNCH Shed 22, 147 Quay St, waterfront DR RUDI’S Cnr Quay and Customs Sts, Viaduct Harbour EVERYBODY’S Imperial House, 7 Fort Lane FEDERAL DELICATESSEN 86 Federal St FUKUKO 43 Tyler St, Britomart THE GIN ROOM 12 Vulcan Lane HOUSEBAR – HOTEL DEBRETT 2 High St THE HUAMI BAR 87 Federal St HUGO'S BISTRO 67 Shortland St THE JEFFERSON 7 Fort Lane MASU BY NIC WATT SkyCity Grand Hotel, 90 Federal St MEZZE BAR 9 Durham St East MO'S Cnr Wolfe & Federal Sts OAKEN 130…

Simon Gault’s latest restaurant, a Viaduct all-dayer named by his daughter, is something of a darling among other restaurant critics. They reckon Giraffe showcases the former MasterChef judge at his Kiwi-bloke best. I’m not so sure. Gault launched Giraffe after a hospitality hiatus, two years after leaving Nourish Group, the collection of top restaurants he presided over for 12 years. Giraffe is an asymmetrical, split-level space tucked inconspicuously in a corner of the Viaduct. Obligatory waterfront-issue vinyl windbreakers clad the exterior, on cooler nights emitting the orange glow of outdoor heaters. The fit-out evokes the lonely chill of the posh part of Omaha: a sense-dulling colour scheme of muddy browns, creams and greys with just enough marble, bronze, quilted leather and designer light fittings to feel…

BARULHO 7-15 Faraday St, Parnell A chic rustic dining bar with a great selection of classic and new cocktails, an eclectic wine list, interesting tapas and a menu that changes weekly. Sunny outdoor lounging area. Latin beats and flavours. Open Tuesday to Friday 11am-late, Saturday 3pm-late. BELLOTA 91 Federal St, central city Bellota is all about its cosy booths, one of the reasons it consistently rates as the best first-date bar in Auckland. An exclusively Spanish wine and sherry list sourced directly from little-known producers, plus Ernest Pietx’s authentic tapas, makes drinking here a transporting affair. Go for date-night, Spanish wine and tapas. FEDERAL DELICATESSEN 86 Federal St, central city Treat yourself to some great live music, top-notch grub and an extensive drinks list long after most other places have…

Boys of summer: Who can we safely fancy now that everyone’s a monster? Ronald McDonald: Always there for you, even if you’re only ever keen when you’re drunk. Flight of the Conchords: Both gorgeous, both funny, both safely married with kids, can both sort of speak French. Playschool’s Humpty, the gender-fluid, species-neutral plus-size god/dess with the suggestive name. TV Kiwi: Has his own open-plan home and a nice cat, but his job is a little precarious. Things we spend all summer doing that we didn’t mean to spend all summer doing Queuing to see if Jacinda will autograph the printed-out selfie you took last time you queued to see Jacinda. Binge-watching a show just so that you can understand the t-shirt you got for Christmas. Filling the watering can from…