Innholdsfortegnelse for April 2019 i In The Moment

Download your bonus papers This month, we’re talking about happiness and how we can bring more moments of joy into all areas our lives: our relationships, our homes, our work and our down time. Happiness coach Samantha Clarke shares her 14-day challenge, setting a simple exercise each day to help you find a fresh perspective, say yes to the things and people that bring you joy, and spend less energy on those that don’t. “Where could you be kinder to yourself through the day?” Samantha asks. It’s a good place to start. So often we push ourselves too hard, judge ourselves too harshly and allow ourselves to be led or pressured into taking on more than we can handle. I know that saying ‘no’ is not something that comes particularly…

Good sensations We are all being encouraged to eat mindfully, walk mindfully and even watch TV mindfully – but how mindful are you between the sheets? Taking time to be mindful in a moment of passion might not sound very sexy, but a recent US study has found that it can actually make the experience more satisfying, increase sexual self-esteem and reduce any anxieties. So how exactly do we make love mindfully? According to researchers, it’s all about letting go of goals (climactic or otherwise) and focusing on the sensations that you’re feeling throughout the experience. Take time to notice how you and your partner are breathing, and if your mind starts to wander, take a pause and refocus. Plant-based beauty No, we’re not talking about the latest green skincare…

What is it about accepting a compliment that can make us feel awkward? The reasons are sometimes complex, but this doesn’t mean we can’t learn to feel more comfortable about it. You know how it is, you spend time getting ready, carefully choosing your clothes and doing your hair. Then someone says you look nice and you brush off their compliment with, ‘Oh, this old thing…’. Or, you deliver a piece of work that you’ve slaved over for days and when it’s praised, you point out all its flaws and faults. Why do we do this? We seem compelled to make it clear that we are well aware we’re not perfect, even at the risk of being ungracious and dismissive (and even offensive), in return. Then everyone ends up feeling…

1 The Alexander technique focuses on improving the relationship between the head, neck and spine to relieve tension throughout the whole body. Studies show that a series of lessons can help those affected by chronic back pain and neck pain. 2 Do you have poor coordination? By streamlining the way you move and hold your body, the technique can improve balance and coordination, including in the elderly. 3 Injury can lead to tension as the body tries to compensate for and protect the affected area. Even when an injury has resolved itself, this tension can persist, as it has become a ‘learned’ habit. The Alexander technique can help to re-educate the body and relieve this tension. 4 Some evidence suggests that the technique can help people whose abilities are affected…

“There is no age to yoga, you can start at seventy or eighty. The first thing is not to fight yourself.” Vanda Scaravelli was in her forties when she first tried yoga. She came to it the way many of us do – a friend suggested that she might enjoy it. Unlike most though, it was BKS Iyengar and TKV Desikachar, widely considered to be two of the greatest Indian masters of yoga, who gave her an introduction to the practice. Under their tuition, yoga became an integral part of her everyday life, and when Iyengar and Desikachar left Europe, she started to develop her own style, practicing yoga until her death at the grand age of 91. Her style of yoga went on to be known all over the…

Q I’m writing to you because I’m starting to feel a bit judged by my friends. A lot of them have become vegan and don’t drink alcohol anymore, while I still eat meat and like to have a drink and let my hair down sometimes. I feel like I’m being looked down on if I order a burger when we go out and we usually end up sitting around having ethical debates about what we should and shouldn’t be doing, eating and wearing. It’s all starting to feel a bit worthy and virtuous and like you can’t have fun. I try to make good choices: I buy organic meat when I can because I know it’s better for the environment, I recycle and I’ve cut down on my plastic use.…

1 PERSUASION By Jane Austen Persuasion is Jane Austen’s wisest novel about happiness, because it’s the saddest of all her books. It starts when things seem to be too late for heroine Anne Elliot. Twenty-six and still unmarried (putting her on the cusp of terminal spinsterhood in the early nineteenth century), Austen tells us that “her bloom had vanished early”, leaving her “faded and thin”. Life has been a succession of disappointments for Anne, and the greatest disappointment of all has been the breaking of her engagement to Commander Frederick Wentworth – deemed an insufficiently noble match for Anne by her status-obsessed family. It’s also one of Austen’s funniest novels: there’s a savagery to her wit here that connects it to her most explicitly satirical early writing, such as the…

Could making your bed every morning actually make you a happier person? It can certainly contribute to it, it seems. Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project believes that “the habit of bed-making is correlated with a sense of greater wellbeing and higher productivity.” It’s thought that carrying out a small, seemingly insignificant task at the beginning of your day provides a sense of pride that then leads to more tasks being accomplished throughout the day So, other than taking a moment to smooth out the duvet in the morning, what else can we do at home to ensure we lead happier lives? Changing certain behaviours can have a positive impact but we should also consider the things we surround ourselves with – or don’t, as the case may be.…

How do you describe your creative work when you talk about it? Do you take on the title – a photographer, writer, dancer, painter? Or do you do as I did for much too long, saying “I take photos”, “I do a bit of writing”, “I put paint onto canvas sometimes.” Or perhaps you go with a qualifier, like “amateur photographer”, “fledgling ceramicist” or “dabbling artist”. I have spoken to hundreds of women (and some men, but the vast majority are women) who mitigate their talents this way, and I think I know why we do it. It mostly comes from a good place: we don’t want to overstate our abilities and we don’t want to make false promises to the world. We desperately don’t want to be that person…

Lyons coffee bags If you can’t face the thought of getting out of your tent in the morning without a cup of joe, pack these clever coffee bags from Lyons in your rucksack. They work just like a tea bag – pop one in your cup, pour on boiling water, let it sit for a few minutes and ta da! Proper, tasty coffee without fiddling with filters. Perfect for wild camping and far-roaming adventures. £2.70 ocado.com BioLite campstove A wood-burning camp stove that is more than the sum of its parts. The Campstove 2 doesn’t just cook food and boil water (although it does both very well) – it also converts heat into electricity, so you can charge your phone, a camping light or other tech while you cook dinner…

DAY 1 BE KIND, BE AWARE AND BE PRESENT Look inwards: what can you do to craft out your own Be Kind, Be Aware and Be Present rituals? Consider, how can you be kinder to yourself? Notice what gives you joy and what doesn’t. What can you change? Write your rituals here… DAY 2 BE KIND, BE AWARE AND BE PRESENT Look outwards: what can you do to nurture your close relationships? Is your work zapping your happiness; what will you do about it? What can you do to top and tail your day with more nourishment and peace? Write your ideas here… DAY 3 EXPOSE What fears are holding you back? How can you stop standing in your own way and see what you can achieve with a little…

Yoga together In The Moment reader Sheridan Wilson @thearkandtheolivebranch shared this picture practising yoga with her two-year-old daughter, Olive. “We have practised yoga together since she was born,” Sheridan explains. “She loves it and it’s a lovely thing for us to share.” Quiet moments I’m so glad I discovered this magazine over a year ago! It brings me so much joy during my (sometimes hectic) life as a flight attendant. During layovers I always have the magazine with me, making sure I take time out for myself at a good coffee shop to nourish all the goodness your pages have to offer. This is one of the most important self-care rituals I’ve habitually made for myself. Lizzie, via Instagram Mindful collection My absolute favourite mag – I really look forward…

We all want to be happy, to take joy in the little things that make up our daily lives, as well as those big, momentous ‘happy’ occasions like weddings or birthdays, or those once-a-year holidays where we relax and remember what it is that really makes us tick. The trouble is, happiness is hard to define, and what makes one person happy might not be the key to another’s happy place. But what if you could focus on doing a few simple things that would let you be the happiest version of you? Happiness coach Samantha Clarke has created a 14-day challenge to help you achieve just that. Each day, she takes us behind the ways she fills her happiness pot, based on her ‘B.E. H.A.P.P.Y. FIRST’ model, with a…

Taking my place in a softly lit studio, snuggled on cushions and covered by a warm blanket, I realise how ridiculously tired I am as I prepare to take my first sound bath. Sometimes referred to as a gong bath, there’s no water involved here. Rather, we are ‘bathed’ in sound, immersed in a range of vibrations which balance the body and soothe the mind. The experience is unique to every individual, but sessions follow similar patterns: a leader uses instruments ranging from gongs to chimes and even the voice to create rhythmic sounds while we lie back, focussing only on the rhythms that surround us. My tutor and session leader, Dom De Rosa, was a professional guitarist and music teacher before turning his talent for percussion to the gong…

Although I never daydreamed about meeting Prince Charming, I grew up assuming that I would one day be married and raise children. Within my family divorce is highly contentious, and when I married my husband in 2010, I fully believed it would be for life. So, when our marriage came to an end last summer, embarking upon the process of divorce felt like a fundamental failure of my entire worldview, an admission of defeat and a source of intense shame. It took a friend remarking what an incredibly positive thing her own divorce had been for me to realise this was only one side of the story. The other was having had the wisdom to acknowledge that, despite all possible attempts to save it, my marriage was no longer working.…

1 THE HAPPY NEWSPAPER “The Happy Newspaper does exactly what it says on the tin – it’s a newspaper that celebrates all that’s good in the world,” says its creator, Emily Coxhead. As well as a quarterly print publication, Emily shares little snippets of good news on Instagram, accompanied by cheery illustrations and bright colours. “My aim isn’t to cover up the negatives or pretend that terrible things aren’t happening, but instead I want to remind people just how much good stuff is left in the world,” she says. @thehappynewspaper 2 POSITIVE NEWS Launched in 1993, Positive News was the first media organisation in the world dedicated to sharing what is going right. Starting as a quarterly print title, they now publish daily on both their website and social media…

“I love to share my passion for yoga as a teacher, though I equally love to be guided. I joined York-based Joanne Bull from Calm Works for a Scaravelli-inspired retreat in the glorious North Yorkshire Moors. Over four days, Joanne curated the perfect blend of experiences, from mornings of explorations to gently wake bodies and minds, to evenings of ‘night-time calm’ – beautiful, meditative sessions. In between, our group was treated to meditation walks and a mix of workshops, such as a singing session to find our voices and a dance workshop, which gave me the unexpected confidence to feel completely free. Through all this, I was reminded of what yoga is really about – freedom of movement, exploration, learning and, perhaps most importantly, fun. Find out more at calmworks.co.uk…

Trusty trail shoe If you’d like to move your running from treadmill to trail, the new Cloudventure shoe from On is the perfect investment. Born in the Swiss Alps, these light yet sturdy shoes can take whatever terrain you throw at them. They also come in a waterproof version, which is oh-so-handy when the weather doesn’t go your way. from £125 on-running.com Kettleboobs Yes, you read that right! Co-founders of Kettleboobs, Danni and Jolene, love an at-home workout but were saddened by the sight of clunky gym weights cramping their interior style. They created these aestheticallypleasing kettlebells, using fun, femaleforward designs like these boobs, as well as modern, graphic prints. from £16 kettleboobs.co.uk Yoga wheel The idea of involving a wheel in your yoga practice might fill you with fear,…

Blah blah bed set Whether it’s her odd knitted creatures, playful ceramics or less than serious bed linen, Donna Wilson’s designs never fail to raise a smile. Her distinctive work has won awards and amassed her a huge following, no doubt due to its ability to induce a little daily joy. from £95, donnawilson.com Sherbet table settings Eating at the table is a great way of bringing the family together to enjoy conversation and good food. Make sure all phones and devices are kept away, and instead introduce fun with colourful, quirky table settings like these terrazzo placemats and coasters from Home By Kirsty. They look good enough to eat. from £10, homebykirsty.com Pink letter board These felt and wood letter boards are very popular right now, and really it’s…

SELF-CARE, RELAXATION & HAPPINESS GOOD FOOD, FAMILY & FRIENDS MINDFULNESS THROUGH MAKING TRAVEL & ADVENTURE FOR BODY & SOUL How to subscribe CALL (toll-free) on 1-800-428-3003 (quote code ‘ITUS2019') ORDER ONLINE at www.imsnews.com/ITUS2019 This offer ends 31st December 2019. Welcome offer is available whilst stocks last and is for US residents only. If you live in Canada then the cost will be US$59.95 for 13 issues. Your subscription will start with the next available issue and you will receive 13 issues in a year. Prices correct at point of print and subject to change.…

Ever since I was a child I have been an anxious person. I would worry that my schoolwork wasn’t good enough and thought I could always do things better. Over the years, those worries continued and, in my adult life, evolved into feelings of self-doubt and an inability to make decisions. When my anxiety started to take hold and stopped me from doing the things I love, like meeting up with friends, and generally anything that involved leaving the house, I knew I needed to look for help. I constantly felt sick and was plagued by negative thoughts which I just couldn’t escape. I decided to start Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and although I was initially terrified about sharing my thoughts and feelings, I felt a sense of relief almost…

Consider a world where happiness is a priority. Not just on a personal level – but on a wider scale. Imagine community needs being met and a government that focuses on delivering those needs. It sounds brilliant, doesn’t it? Also, perhaps, a little ambitious. Well, in the small Buddhist kingdom of Bhutan this is said to be a way of life. Located in the southern foothills of the Himalayas and sandwiched between China and India, Bhutan is growing in popularity as a travel destination. Having remained closed to tourists until 1974, travellers are slowly starting to realise how much this little nation has to offer – and with its endless rice terraces, snow-capped mountains, lush valleys and a rich, fascinating culture, it makes a great off-the-beaten-track destination. What is particularly…

The hulking, many-armed cacti silhouetted against a darkening expanse of sky make my stomach lurch pleasurably as we cover the short distance from Phoenix airport to Scottsdale, a city on the edge of the Sonoran Desert in Arizona, USA. Eight-hour flight notwithstanding, I feel something lifting in me. The black dog of anxiety and depression tends to growl at my shoulder, rather than drape himself possessively over it; even so, I’m often conscious of flagging energy and a kind of rabbit-in-headlights paralysis. I crave time outside but am then overcome by the dull weight of lethargy, which pins me to the sofa – in summer, yes, when the delirious enjoyment of others seems somehow overwhelming – but also in winter, when logically I know that the natural light window is…

SAMANTHA CLARKE Samantha is a happiness coach and founder of the Growth & Happiness School (growthandhappiness.co). She offers one-to-one career advice and helps individuals find more happiness in their daily lives. Find Samantha’s happiness challenge and your 14-day planner on page 18 CATHY WALLACE A journalist with over 15 years’ experience, Cathy also has a novel to her name. When she’s not writing, she loves cycling, running, gardening and getting back to nature with her two children. Failures can bring fresh opportunities – Cathy tells us how on page 38 EMMA MITCHELL Emma is the creator of #makingwinter. She writes about the ways in which nature can improve our mental health. Living on the edge of the Fens with her family, she is surrounded with creative inspiration every day. Watching…

Shonette Bason Wood is a stand-up comedian and founder of educational training company, Spread the Happiness. “Meeting as many people as I can, whether that be in schools, businesses or every day, and helping them positively change their way of thinking, is a huge passion of mine,” she says. Shonette started out as a primary school teacher, soon realising she wanted to bring joy and positive vibes to classrooms all over the country. She founded Spread the Happiness, touring schools in highly deprived areas to aid teachers in neurological-based ways of teaching for pupils at a disadvantage. Shonette also found her love of stand-up comedy as a way of spreading positivity. At her shows, which she describes as ‘self-help comedy love’, she shares top tips on seeing the happy in…

L ife is full of ups and downs, and things don’t always go to plan, but when we’re dealing with those stressful situations, we’re much more likely to suffer from low mood. And, understandably, when you feel down, even everyday problems that you’d usually be able to take in your stride can feel slightly overwhelming – that’s why anxiety can often accompany episodes of low mood. You may notice you’re feeling a little more weepy or emotional than usual. Or, if you have a lot on your plate, you may feel like you’re not coping in the same way you normally would. You might even find yourself making excuses to avoid social engagements you’d usually enjoy. However you’re feeling, whether you’re unhappy, more nervous or less confident, a herbal remedy…

One of the principles of this style of yoga is finding comfort and joy in stillness. This makes the oftenoverlooked tadasana (mountain pose) a perfect way to connect with the true spirit of Scaravelli-inspired yoga. Although it may look like you’re simply standing still, there’s actually quite a lot going on here. The pose should feel easy and comfortable for you to hold for some time, yet strong and stable. Vanda suggests that practising this pose can help to correct and ease some spinal problems such as scoliosis, arthritis and lordosis. * Stand with your feet as wide as the outside of your pelvis, keeping them parallel, with your toes pointing straight forward. Allow the arms to gently settle and relax by your sides. Visualise your arms dropping from deep…

When our partner is feeling anxious, depressed or low, we want to support and help them as much as possible so that they can get better and return to their usual selves. Although we know that we can’t ‘fix’ every problem, and that we’re not the keeper of our partner’s happiness, a part of us can’t help but feel as if we’re supposed to. We often think that they’re not supposed to feel this way if they’re getting everything they need from our relationship. We fall into the trap of seeing their experience as a failing on our part, or a reflection of our inadequacy. Or, we might feel guilty and wonder if what seemed like a shared desire was something pushed on them. When supporting your partner, it’s not…

Spring is in full force. Nature is in joyful transition, and inspired by the awakening in nature all around us, we feel the urge for freshness and new beginnings too. There is a lot of spring cleaning and decluttering talk about, an urge to air the house out after the damp of winter, to clean the windows and let the light in. This year we have Marie Kondo to thank for the renewed verve for decluttering too. Spring is also the most popular time to buy and sell on the property market, and it’s not hard to understand why. What better time to change your home than when there is so much change happening in nature? However, it’s less clear than ever if today’s generation of would-be homeowners will be…

Have you ever heard of enotourism? It’s more appealing than the name might make it sound. This is the delightful marriage of two of my favourite things in the world – wine and travel. Seeing the world on the way to a sun-drenched vineyard is a recipe for finding your happy place, as winemaking anywhere in the world goes hand in hand with gorgeous landscapes, fine old houses, good food and a laid-back way of life. When you think of lush apple-green vineyards, balmy California or far-flung Chile might be the first places to spring to mind, but less obvious winemaking destinations can be just as rewarding. One of my all-time favourites is Nova Scotia’s wine country, on Canada’s eastern coast, where there’s a string of flourishing vineyards near the…