Innholdsfortegnelse for March 2019 i In The Moment

This month, we’ve been thinking about (and yes, experiencing) stress. It’s a feeling so prevalent in our modern world that barely a day goes by when many of us don’t feel our breath quickening, our mood fitting between anxiety, frustration, anger, even panic. Many of us are so used to living with stress that we barely notice those little tension spikes that cause us to be short-tempered with our partner/colleagues/friends. I can certainly hold my hand up and say that some days the role of ‘working mum’ is a 15-hour shift with self-care relegated to the very bottom of the list (and doesn’t my partner know it). But, actually, something I’ve come to learn is that being busy and being stressed are not inextricably linked. With a few simple rituals…

Because we’re worth it The Good Place actress, model and activist Jameela Jamil is at the forefront of the body positive movement and she’s recently taken a stand against the diet industry to protect women’s health. Jameela (@jameelajamilofficial) is leading a petition to stop celebrity endorsement of poorly regulated and potentially harmful detox and diet products. The change.org petition has already gained over 100,000 signatures, with Jameela hoping that the issue will be considered for a debate in Parliament. Jameela has suffered from anorexia in the past and her campaign is a direct response to her personal experience of the modelling industry. “I don’t care if I’m going down – I’m going down in flames,” she has declared. “I’m fine to not work in this industry. But I’m not fine…

We could say that success is all down to luck or circumstances, but the truth is there are lots of examples of people successfully realising their dreams – sometimes with the odds stacked against them. One thing that seems to shift the balance towards a successful outcome is a person’s determination. But what does determination look like and how can we harness it? On leaving the White House, Michelle Obama gave a speech and, addressing the young people of America in particular, said: “Be focused. Be determined. Be hopeful.” We see this advice echoed in her own life in her recently published Becoming (Viking, £25). First, her determination to get a good education and later to do a good job as First Lady and then to use her privilege to…

Most of us have experienced stress at work at different times in our lives. We may have turned the pressure into a positive by making a big change, or fulfilling a career goal. We may also have adopted stress-busting habits, such as keeping active, empowering ourselves by taking control, and using our support networks to help us relax or problem-solve. But sometimes new jobs, promotions or changes in workload mean an increase in stress and, before we know it, the negative effects of stress have crept up on us. According to the Health and Safety Executive in the UK, every year over 11 million working days are lost due to stress, yet we are often reluctant to raise mental health issues at work. A recent study by Accenture found that…

Q I am 28 and work for a big creative advertising agency in London that has won lots of awards. Everyone thinks I have this really cool and fun job because we have amazing offices with in-house baristas and a free bar. Lots of my friends are struggling in their own careers and I know I’m lucky to have a relatively secure and well-paid job. But the truth is, I’m unhappy. At work, everyone is so busy and stressed the whole time and we never have time to talk to each other. I work long hours and feel like I always have to be available, but it feels like the more I work, the more gets asked of me. No one ever says thank you, which sounds silly but the…

Despite our love for our partner, we can still experience pangs or periods of jealousy. Career success, earnings, children, weight loss, whose family is less ‘dysfunctional’ – these can get our back up. Consciously or not, when we feel jealous of our romantic partner, we do one of two things: we cast them as our rival, or we fear becoming surplus to requirements. Competing with a loved one prompts shame, guilt, confusion and resentment because we wonder if we’re ‘abnormal’ or falling out of love. Or, we blame our partner. We might block these feelings, only for them to resurface as passive-aggressive behaviour. Or, we do the equivalent of taking a sudden sharp turn off the road – by jacking in our job or turning into the Energizer Bunny of…

Bringing seasonality into our yoga practice is a beautiful way of connecting with the natural rhythms of the earth, especially when our modern lives are so often dissonant with the shifts of nature, particularly in urban environments. Well-stocked shops allow us to nourish ourselves with any food we choose, whatever the season, and the technology that exists to help us means that we’re often on the go, all year round, without pause. This can leave us feeling at odds with the season, exhausted by our to-do lists, or having too much energy to use in one day. But if we can learn to draw back into ourselves and our natural rhythms, we can find an energetic balance in line with the season. I like to do this through a yin…

METHOD 1 For the flower syrup, put the sugar and water in a small saucepan over a medium heat and stir to dissolve the sugar. Bring to the boil, and simmer for 5 minutes. Take the pan off the heat, add the rose water and stir. Leave, covered, to infuse and cool for at least half an hour. 2 For the meringues, preheat the oven to 120°C/250°F/Gas Mark ½. Whisk the egg white and lemon juice to soft peaks, then, still whisking slowly, trickle in the cooled flower syrup. Once all the syrup is added, continue whisking on high speed until the meringue holds stiff peaks. 3 Spoon into a piping bag and cut the end off to make a hole of around 1cm diameter. Pipe small blobs of about…

Fast fashion is a little bit like social media, in some respects. You know you shouldn’t rely on it so much, but the thought of cutting it out completely feels… well, daunting. You’re not alone. The good news is we all have the power to make a difference. As anyone who’s ever had a stone in their shoe will know: the little things matter. And these changes can start at home. Whether you’re a KonMari convert or not, having a thorough sort through all of your existing clothes and accessories can be good for the soul. In fact, the process encourages us to be present, thankful for what we’ve got and actually makes it easier to get dressed in the morning. By looking after what we already own, through mending,…

The ancient art of macramé is believed to have originated in the Middle East, when 13th-century Arabic weavers knotted rope into decorative fringes for their camels and horses, designed, in part, to keep o! the flies in north Africa’s desert heat. The name ‘macramé’ is thought to come from the Arabic weavers’ word migramah, meaning ‘fringe’. Macramé resurfaced as a craft trend in Victorian times and again in the 1970s, when hanging plant holders were all the rage. In the past few years, macramé has experienced another resurgence, this time with a fresh, modern twist. I started making macramé over three years ago. As a birthday present, a macramé artist friend taught me how to tie two knots – the same ones I am going to teach you in the…

Close your eyes for a second and imagine steering yourself across the glassy surface of a misty Canadian lake. Punting along an English river in summer with a picnic packed in your boat. Feeling the flip and dip of a kayaking paddle slicing through the sea. Feel calmer? I know this to be true – it’s nigh-on impossible to be stressed out when you’re messing about on the water. And I’m definitely not talking big tourist steamers or motorboats here; the smaller the boat, the better. Making your way under your own steam along peaceful waterways is calming, beginner-friendly and makes for an instant adventure. Renting or even owning your own canoe, kayak or rowing boat opens up a new world of connecting rivers and even oceans to explore. Let’s…

Photo comp winner! Our latest Instagram photography challenge theme was ‘where I’m reading’ and we loved this picture sent in by Lauren (@rumpledpumpkin). “This article really piqued my interest too. I always find myself chatting away to Ted and I’ve never really thought about why (apart from the fact I’m a bit loopy) but dogs really are great listeners. No judgement, no advice, they’re just there, in the present, offering silent comfort. Anyone else chat to their animals? (Or is it just me? I talk to the guinea pigs and turtle too).” Lauren wins this lovely tea set by T2 worth £35 (t2tea.com). See last month’s shortlist & find more inspiration on our Instagram @inthemomentmag. Powerful podcast I’ve just finished listening to the Dr Rangan Chatterjee podcast episode about coping…

1 MALALA YOUSAFZAI At just 11 years old, Malala began her campaign for girls’ education, writing an anonymous blog for the BBC about life under the Taliban in Pakistan’s Swat Valley. Since then she has gone on to become one of the most well-known activists for female rights in the world, as well as the youngest Nobel Prize laureate. “Back in Swat, I didn’t know if my voice would bring any change. But I spoke up anyway,” she says. “Your voice is powerful, and you can raise it in different ways.” @malala 2 MOLLY GUNN Molly is the founder of Selfish Mother, an online blog encouraging women to take the pressure o" themselves. “It’s a space to share what us parents are really thinking; a world away from that image…

Mostly As: When stress comes your way, it can cause a storm. You’re frequently overwhelmed and even something small and unexpected can be a challenge and set you and your plans off course. Break the cycle by becoming aware of what regularly triggers your stress. Noticing how stress shows up physiologically, mentally and emotionally will give you clues when you’re having a stress response. Slow down, create more calm and take stock. Be kind to yourself as you do – that might look like saying no and practising self-care more often. Mostly Bs: You’re learning to navigate stressful waters skillfully and try your best to deal with situations in a way that works well for you. While sometimes stress can still get the better of you and keep you up…

* BE AWARE OF YOUR PERSONAL STRESS THRESHOLD When you’re rushing around in the morning, hitting snooze on the alarm clock, trying to get the kids out of the house or checking your emails on your phone, you’re edging ever closer to your personal stress threshold – often before you’ve even reached work. “We’ve all got a threshold. If we’re under it we can deal with things, we don’t feel stressed, but once we exceed it – boom – everything starts to become a big, big problem.” * START THE DAY RIGHT Dr Rangan believes that starting the day with just 6-10 minutes for yourself can help you to feel calmer. “Have a bit of silence, listen to some music, do a bit of movement or meditate using an app,”…

* Believing that other people have an overinflated view of you. * Believing you will inevitably let everybody down, as well as yourself. * Attributing any success you have to luck. * Believing that your ability to do something negates the value of it. * Constantly feeling fearful that you will be found out. * Catastrophic thinking about the consequences of any mistake. To find out if self-doubt has been holding you back, Pauline Rose Clance – who first identified imposter syndrome – has devised a test that you can take. Find it on her website paulineroseclance.com.…

These days we are becoming increasingly aware that regular exercise is every bit as important for our mental wellbeing as it is for our physical health. Regardless of our age or fitness level, studies show that making time for exercise provides us with some significant mental health benefits. ‘Making time’ isn’t always easy in our busy, fast-paced lives but a deeper understanding of the benefits of regular exercise can help to motivate us to develop a regular routine. When we exercise we stimulate certain areas in our brain, releasing chemicals that affect how we feel. These effects can last for several hours after a workout, and noticeable improvements in our mood can be seen after as little as 10-20 minutes of physical activity. You may well have heard of the…

Georgina Horspool has a life of unfinished business. There’s the degree she never completed and the beloved, but flawed, father whose death she hasn’t quite grieved for. Most significantly of all, for the purposes of the plot, the passionate love affair with Lucas McCarthy, fomented over Wuthering Heights in English A-level classes, but foundering when something goes wrong at their leavers’ party. When we meet her, she’s just turned 30, working as a waitress at the worst restaurant in Sheffield, and in a stunted relationship with a swaggering comic who “doesn’t believe in monogamy”. A series of events tips George’s life from the pretty bad to outright catastrophe, but also tips Lucas back into her orbit, now as her boss at a newly refurbished pub. He’s even more handsome than…

* Easy pose (Pose 1) Find yourself an easy, comfortable seat. Be present with the breath. If your knees come up higher than your hips then put something else under your seat – you can use books or cushions for this, you don’t need to have a lot of yoga equipment! Find the breath moving into the belly and allow your body to meet the breath with softness and flexibility. Stay for 5-10 minutes. * Shoelace pose (Pose 2) Extend both legs in front of you (you may still be seated on a cushion or book). Cross the right one over the left and draw your right foot towards your left buttock. The left foot can draw in towards the right buttock (as shown), or it can stay straight out…

METHOD 1 Put the gelatine into a heavy based saucepan and cover with the water. Leave to bloom (soak up) for approximately 5 minutes. On a low heat, stir until the gel melts completely. 2 Add the sugar, stir until dissolved. Increase the heat and bring to the boil, then simmer for 20 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the rose water. 3 Have ready an 18cm square silicone cake mould that has been rinsed with cold water and left undried. Pour in the mix and leave overnight in the fridge to set. 4 Mix the coating together and sprinkle some onto a pastry board. Gently release the Welsh Delight from the mould onto this mix. Sprinkle on more coating and use a pizza cutter to cut into…

Soft textures Lounge about in it or chic it up – with its neat pleats and handy pockets, Earth Kind Originals’ Slouch Tunic Dress will be a favourite. In soft bare mineral (perfect with white, black or grey basics), it’s made from 95 per cent Tencel, responsibly grown eucalyptus fibre that is softer than silk, cooler than linen and drapes beautifully. £54, earthkindoriginals.co.uk Clean lines With its philosophy of a slower, back-to-basics approach to fashion, Bibico works with natural and organic fabrics and focuses on creating fuss-free, well-made clothing that oozes quality. The Allana Boxy Top is a flattering design that is easy to wear and so versatile it goes with just about anything. £59, bibico.co.uk Persian print This elegant sun dress is both vegan and made from extra-soft organic…

Rush hour in west London. It’s a breezy spring day and I’m standing on the south side of Hammersmith Bridge; cars and buses grumble at a standstill while cyclists whizz past; the old river flows slow, steady and constant below. It’s a rare visit to the city for me, and I’m not waiting long before a woman wearing a stripy top and small backpack sidles up to me, an excited smile on her face. “You here for mudlarking?” she asks in an American accent. “I’m Kami, it’s nice to meet you.” Joggers dodge round us as we divert o" the river path and down concrete steps, leaving the gridlock behind us on street level, to low tide on the river. I’m disquieted by the sudden softness of mud and sand…

Sevylor Inflatable canoe Think (understandably) that you don’t have the space to own a canoe? How about one that fits under your bed? Decathlon’s brilliant, and reasonably affordable, inflatable two-person Sevylor can be used as both a canoe and a kayak, inflates in 10 minutes and folds down into a duffle bag when not in use. Serious fun for sunny days on the river. £249.99 www.decathlon.co.uk SplashMap Navigating when out on the water is key, but traditional maps don’t tend to do well when wet. As their name suggests, SplashMaps don’t mind getting soaked on a boat trip – they’re made with washable, virtually indestructible fabric and there are maps available covering most of Britain. You can even wear one round your neck when you aren’t map-reading. £22.50 www.splash-maps.com Merrell…

GABRIELLE TREANOR Gabrielle is a writer and coach helping us to worry less and enjoy life more. She lives in the Brecon Beacons with her husband and little dog, Georgie. She shares her knowledge online at gabrielletreanor.com Gabrielle investigates imposter syndrome on page 38 ABIGAIL WHYTE Abi loves to write about people with passion, the outdoors, history and wild food. She finds calm in listening to music and spending time surrounded by nature. Find her online at abigailwhyte.com Abi heads down river for a spot of mudlarking on page 96 PIP ROBERTS Pip is a dedicated yoga practitioner who teaches vibrant, thoughtful and relaxing classes stemming from her intuitive self practice. Hailing from a background in life sciences, she brings East and West together on the mat. Channel seasonal shifts…

1 THE GUILTY FEMINIST Comedian Deborah Frances-White has hit the nail on the head with this witty, award-winning podcast. Each episode starts with the line, “I’m a feminist, but…”, before a confession of feelings that all modern-day feminists may have experienced, followed by a comical chat around the topic. 2 SHE WHO PERSISTED Discussing topics as diverse as women and witchcraft and sexism in academia, this biweekly podcast is a frank yet funny feminist discussion between its likeable and relatable hosts, Beatrice, Elizabeth, Bethany and Heather. Tune in and be entertained! 3 LADIES, WE NEED TO TALK This Australian podcast is all about starting conversations about the most taboo female experiences, from menstruating to masturbation. Hosted by radio and TV presenter Yumi Stynes, accompanied by her friends and some expert…

1 Talk to yourself as you would a good friend, with kindness and compassion – and give yourself a break! 2 Acknowledge how you feel. Avoiding or denying it will only make you feel worse. 3 Share your feelings with a trusted friend or colleague, remember that you’re not the only one experiencing imposter syndrome. 4 Collect evidence of your positive experiences and read through them any time you feel a wobble. 5 Don’t compare yourself to others, let it go and focus your attention on what you know to be true about your own abilities, knowledge and experience. Sas Petherick discusses imposter syndrome in episode four of her podcast, Courage and Spice. Included in the resources is a worksheet with a strategy for tackling feelings of self-doubt. Go to…

POSITIVE LANGUAGE Always use positive language as it puts you in a positive frame, while negative language is limiting. For example, stop talking yourself down by saying “I can’t do…” or “I’m not sure…” Instead, change the language to a positive frame by saying “I could if…” or “I can if…”. VISUALISATION This is a very simple and effective way of achieving exactly what you want. Picture what you want in your mind – this sets an image that you see as a goal. If you really place yourself into that image – seeing the colours around you, feeling the temperature, noticing the scents, hearing the sounds – it will help you associate the image with feeling confident and positive. You can anchor this visualisation with a time when you…

1 ENJOY THE OUTDOORS For an extra mood boost take your workout outside. Being surrounded by nature, switching off from electronics and social media is a perfect way to de-stress. Plus, the extra Vitamin D from the sun can reduce depressive symptoms too. 2 GET SOCIAL Another bonus, exercise can be a great way to build up a social network. Taking a gym class, joining a sports group or running club are all good ways to meet new people and build new friendships. Going for a walk with a family member is an ideal time to catch up. By planning exercise meet-ups or classes, you can keep yourself motivated. Studies show that people generally perform better on aerobic exercises when paired up with a friend. 3 TACKLE ANXIETY If you’re…

For me, March means flowers. I remember giving my mum bunches of daffodils and handmade cards every Mother’s Day. I still have a soft spot for bundles of yellow daffs, and I always will. But my love of the treasures of spring has extended now to cover other seasonal bulbs, and more recently spring-flowering branches too. Last year, I became fixated on tracking down some magnolia branches to brighten my home. I wanted to avoid the wholesalers, and set about asking on local forums to see if anyone had a tree they wouldn’t mind me snipping a branch or two from. I found a lead through a local friend, and knocked hopefully, secateurs in hand. The buds were small and tightly closed. I used the branch in a photoshoot anyway…

"ROSES ARE VERY FORGIVING – THEY TEACH US TO SLOW DOWN. WE CAN ONLY DO WHAT WE CAN DO AND THERE'S NO POINT GETTING IN A TIZZY ABOUT IT." It was a chance conversation about the price of rose essential oil at the school gates that gave Desdemona Freeman the idea of growing roses on the land around her Welsh farmhouse, and seven years ago she planted the first roses from which Petals of the Valley was born. The rose oil idea was quickly discarded, as the volume of roses required was simply too high. However, Desdemona and her business partner Denise soon discovered that they could distil a wonderful rose water instead. Determined not to borrow any money to finance the business, they initially made and sold natural potpourri…

My husband has decided this last week that he’d like to try and take up drawing. In 35 years, he’s never drawn before. As he ordered supplies on Amazon, we talked about how he would feel when his first pictures inevitably came out slightly wonky or rough. He had to think for a moment. “I just won’t show anyone until I’m good at it,” he eventually decided, a plan I often hear from students beginning my photography classes. It can seem an ideal solution – but I’ve learnt that it’s sharing our process that keeps us moving along. There is a quote that I share with every new student in my Instagram class from US radio personality Ira Glass, from something he said in a 2009 interview: “All of us…

IN LONDON To mudlark along the Thames foreshore in London you’ll need a permit, which you can obtain from the Port of London Authority. A year-long permit is £77 for an adult; £38 for a junior (aged 12-17). Be mindful of tide times, and allow yourself plenty of time to get back onto the riverbank. Wear sensible clothing and footwear, and always take a mobile phone with you. For more information visit www.pla.co.uk ELSEWHERE To mudlark on your local riverbank – be sure to check it’s safe (and whether a permit is required) with your local council first, and similarly, always be mindful of tide times. GUIDED MUDLARKING If you’d prefer to go with a guide, veteran mudlarker Steve Brooker – often referred to as the ‘Mud God’ (!) –…

1 BY THE COAST This gorgeous retreat centre on Ireland’s west coast offers year-round wellness weekends, each themed around a wellbeing activity. We love the idea of their Connect to Nature weekend, where you will hike the cliff walk from Doolin to Liscannor, starting and ending each day with a yoga practice overlooking the Atlantic in their glass-fronted studio. You can even sink into a wood-burning hot tub in the evenings, to help your legs relax after a day’s walking. Various dates, from €380pp cliffsofmoherretreat.com 2 IN THE FOREST Wake to the sound of the birds singing in the treetops and leaves rustling in the breeze at this luxury Forest Bathing Treehouse Retreat located near Paris, France. This outdoorsy eco getaway has a focus on reconnecting to yourself and the…