Innholdsfortegnelse for September 2018 i FourFourTwo UK

By the time you read this, the World Cup will be a fading memory. Whether you got your kicks from watching Gareth Southgate’s young England team punch above their weight, Luka Modric’s midfield mastery or Vladimir Putin inadvertently raining on France’s parade in the final, the festivities in Russia were a reminder of something we’re all guilty of forgetting as fans from time to time: that football is supposed to be fun. This is something worth bearing in mind as thoughts turn to familiar rivalries and tensions ahead of the new season. It’s with that sense of bonhomie we go into this issue. And what better way to commemorate the summer’s feel-good vibe than by speaking to England’s joker-in-chief, Jesse Lingard. The midfielder dances for the camera while reflecting on…

“I RETIRED FROM ENGLAND AS I DIDN’T WANT TO STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUNG PLAYERS. LOOK WHAT’S HAPPENED SINCE” CLUBS 2002-04 Leeds 2003 Swindon (loan) 2004-08 Newcastle 2005-06 Aston Villa (loan) 2008-10 Aston Villa 2010-15 Manchester City 2015- Liverpool COUNTRY 2009-16 England IS HE BOTHERED THAT PEOPLE THINK HE’S BORING? WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE CRUSHED BY A DINOSAUR? HOW BONKERS WAS MARIO BALOTELLI AT CITY? You know what they say: never work with children, animals or pies. But, in the latest edition of the surreal adventures of FourFourTwo , we are in the kitchen at Liverpool’s Melwood training ground, trying to figure out which of the six pies in front of us is the most appropriate to throw at James Milner. It’s a more difficult…

Reading vs Derby August 3 Frank Lampard kicks off his managerial career, and the new Football League season, in Reading Leeds vs Stoke August 5 Marcelo Bielsa takes charge of Leeds for the first time; literally anything could happen Man Utd vs Leicester August 10 It’s a Friday night opener in the Premier League; Leicester haven’t won at Old Trafford since 1998 Arsenal vs Man City August 12 Unai Emery has an easy start: he has to stop the team which amassed 100 points last term Real Madrid vs Atletico August 15 No CR7, but Julen Lopetegui leads Los Blancos in a Madrid derby in the UEFA Super Cup – in Tallinn Celtic vs Rangers September 2 In his first Old Firm game, new Rangers manager Steve Gerrard faces former…

When Halebank FC appointed their new manager for the 2018-19 campaign, they opted for someone who has gone up against Europe’s best. Specifically, the Cheshire League Division One outfit hired Daz Sampson, AKA the UK entry at the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest with bizarre schoolroom rap Teenage Life. Sampson was on Stockport’s books as a youngster but struggled to get a job in Britain when he returned to football, so he cut his teeth in Poland and Guam. “I got a manager’s job here and had it for eight hours,” the 43-year-old tells FFT. “The guys who hired me didn’t recognise me at first, but as soon as I took the first training session and people did, they said it wasn’t for them.” Unbelievable. They recognised him? Now Sampson has…

Soccology Kevin George (Twinclian Press, £17.99) It’s all mind games as the former West Ham and Charlton player turned human behaviour specialist sheds some light on various aspects of a footballer’s psyche. Claude Makelele mastered non-verbal intuition, combining analytical skills to anticipate the moves of opponents. On the other hand, English cultural expectations changed the gifted No.10 Scott Parker into a more physical defensive midfielder. George illustrates the corrosive effect that ‘banter’ can have on prodigious footballers. Marcus Gayle explains how the Crazy Gang’s vicious humour faded after a group session with a sports psychologist: it soon became clear that a young Dons hopeful avoided training due to embarrassment when team-mates made comments about his mother. Soccology is both an informed and entertaining insight into the footballer’s multi-faceted mind.…

FIFA SCANDAL PT.2026 Morocco should’ve got the 2026 World Cup. USA and Mexico have hosted already; in Morocco it would’ve left a legacy. Louis Goodwin BERNABEU BYE-BYE Cristiano Ronaldo’s time with Real Madrid will go down as one of the greatest eras in football history. I’m sad it’s over. Ezequiel Ocampo LAST PIECE IN JIGSAW Well done to England for a fine performance at the World Cup. We are just lacking that one world-class midfielder. Janet Risler JACK HAMMER I think Jack Wilshere is a brilliant signing for West Ham. Will Arsenal think they should have kept him if he does well? Scott Phillips NOT-SO-SUPER LEAGUE The idea of the European Super League must die. It would weaken the national leagues, and games would be cagey. Frederick James LAST MONTH’S…

“FOR A LONG TIME WE’D ONLY EATEN KEBABS FROM THE INDIAN RESTAURANT OPPOSITE THE APARTMENT – AS THEY ONLY COST €1.50!” In the post-war years, tinned steak and kidney pies from Fray Bentos were culinary cult heroes in Britain. Now the old factory in a tiny town on the Rio Uruguay is an eerie pile of iron and concrete, rust and dust. On July 1, the streets of Fray Bentos were ghostly too, its 25,000 inhabitants hidden in bars watching local boy Lucas Torreira do a job on Cristiano Ronaldo at the World Cup. In the clubhouse at IA 18 de Julio, Torreira’s first team, grown men broke down in tears after Uruguay’s 2-1 last-16 victory, as the roads filled with flag-bearing, horn-tooting cars. The club posted a meme of…

When you’re a professional footballer, it’s easy to lose sight of what the game’s actually about – you forget why you love it. You see it at clubs all the time: guys training, but not enjoying it, not playing with a smile, not making the most of it. When you’re a kid, you don’t think of anything else – you just play football. When I was younger, I’d rush home from school, get straight out in the garden and play football until it was time to go in for my dinner. After that, I’d get straight back out to play some more. It’s more than a hobby. It’s an addiction. One of my first memories is kicking a ball against a little wall in my nan and grandad’s garden –…

Yellow is the colour Chairman, and legendary comic, Tommy Trinder (right) lording it. Lettings agent, anyone? Do you live in ‘the Provinces’? Do you need to shift a flat? Call now! Works of art What if LS Lowry had been born in west London instead of Stretford? Buzzing for Port Vale A cartoon Jimmy Hill can’t wait for a clash with Staffordshire’s finest. On the second day of Christmas... ...my true love gave to me, a game between the Cottagers and Orient. Two opponents and one brew It seems a bit unfair that Fulham played two teams at once, really. “Let’s use balls instead of ‘O’s” We still don’t know if this is a cover, or a birthday card from your nan. “No.10 for Carlisle...” Alas not. Pele had just…

“CHEERS, LADS!” Edward Farquharson Johnston – the British vice-consul in Seville – formed the club while half cut on Burns Night in January 1890. Their charter notes that the deed was done “after limited consumption of small beer.” FOOTBALL FIRSTS Sevilla secretary Isaias White Jr organised the first match in Spanish history, against Huelva Recreation a couple of months later. Wearing red and white kit after skipper Hugh Maccoll’s beloved Sunderland, Sevilla won 2-0. Ritson registered the opener. BIRI BIRI Gambian winger Biri Biri was the first black player to feature for Los Rojiblancos. The cult figure’s 120 league goals in 158 appearances between 1973 and 1978 helped lend his name to Sevilla ultras group, Los Biris Norte. RED FORTRESS Spain have never lost an international held at the Ramon…

Mixed Results of Match Broadcast Sheffield Independent January 2, 1927 “My impression of the broadcast of the Sheffield United vs Arsenal match was that it was easier to form an idea of how the game was going by the cheers, than by the comments of the narrator. When the Arsenal were pressing the cheering was terrific, and there was also plenty of noise when the play was at the other end. The comments, however, were very disjointed, probably owing to the bad weather conditions, making it difficult for the narrator to distinguish players. The idea to divide the ground up into eight sections, so the narrator could inform listeners of where the play was going on, was good. But the ball passed so quickly that often the narrator had…

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Manchester City may have won last season’s Premier League title at a canter, but manager Pep Guardiola certainly didn’t think it was a breeze. In fact, he insisted winning the league in England was tougher than doing so in Germany or Spain. “Here, it’s more difficult,” the former Bayern Munich and Barcelona boss said after City sealed their third Premier League crown in seven seasons. “In England, it’s special because it’s so tough,” he added, citing the “huge contenders and the quality” in the division. Liverpool gaffer Jurgen Klopp (below) – a two-time Bundesliga title-winner at Borussia Dortmund – may agree with Pep’s prognosis. The German’s Reds were often scintillating last season, but they finished up in 4th thanks in part to some poor results against the division’s supposedly weaker…

AUGUST 12 Man City (H) 18 Chelsea (A) 25 West Ham (H) SEPTEMBER 2 Cardiff (A) 15 Newcastle (A) 23 Everton (H) 29 Watford (H) OCTOBER 6 Fulham (A) 20 Leicester (H) 27 Crystal Palace (A) NOVEMBER 3 Liverpool (H) 10 Wolves (H) 24 Bournemouth (A) DECEMBER 1 Tottenham (H) 4 Man United (A) 8 Huddersfield (H) 15 Southampton (A) 22 Burnley (H) 26 Brighton (A) 29 Liverpool (A) JANUARY 1 Fulham (H) 12 West Ham (A) 19 Chelsea (H) 29 Cardiff (H) FEBRUARY 2 Man City (H) 9 Huddersfield (A) 23 Southampton (H) 26 Bournemouth (H) MARCH 2 Tottenham (A) 9 Man United (H) 16 Wolves (A) 30 Newcastle (H) APRIL 6 Everton (A) 13 Watford (A) 20 Crystal Palace (H) 27 Leicester (A) MAY 4 Brighton (H) 12…

1 BECOME BETTER ON THE TURN The Cherries consistently lost aerial duels to most opponents last season and were vulnerable to through-ball attacks, which caught them out all too often. These two defensive frailties merit plenty of training-ground drills. 2 KEEP BEGOVIC ON HIS TOES Asmir Begovic was regarded as an excellent addition when he arrived from Chelsea for £8 million but he struggled a bit, making errors that were uncharacteristic of his career up to now. That must have irked Howe as he tried to address Bournemouth’s loose back line. They’ve just shipped out three goalkeepers, but Artur Boruc remains and can keep the big Bosnian honest. 3 STAY STEADY, EDDIE Howe keeps his head when others are losing theirs, be it during a bad February slump in their…

This season will be different to last because it’ll be a lot harder to stay up. Wolves and Fulham look far stronger than the sides who went down; we no longer have an element of surprise; and there’s a real danger of second season syndrome, which Chris Hughton has been keen to emphasise due to his experience with Norwich. Our pantomime villain is Neil Warnock. I like a manager who moans. He’ll add some blood and thunder to the Premier League. Save the date for December 4 and March 9. The Palace rivalry slipped under last season’s radar. One change I’d make at our club is to allow no more ‘Hazard, can I have your shirt?’ signs. We have a reputation for plastic support as it is, after crowds grew…

AUGUST 12 Southampton (A) 18 Watford (H) 25 Fulham (A) SEPTEMBER 1 Man United (H) 16 Wolves (A) 22 Bournemouth (H) 30 Cardiff (A) OCTOBER 6 Huddersfield (H) 20 Man City (A) 27 Chelsea (H) NOVEMBER 3 West Ham (A) 10 Leicester (A) 24 Newcastle (H) DECEMBER 1 Crystal Palace (A) 4 Liverpool (H) 8 Brighton (H) 15 Tottenham (A) 22 Arsenal (A) 26 Everton (H) 29 West Ham (H) JANUARY 1 Huddersfield (A) 12 Fulham (H) 19 Watford (A) 29 Man United (A) FEBRUARY 2 Southampton (H) 9 Brighton (A) 23 Tottenham (H) 27 Newcastle (A) MARCH 2 Crystal Palace (H) 9 Liverpool (A) 16 Leicester (H) 30 Wolves (H) APRIL 6 Bournemouth (A) 13 Cardiff (H) 20 Chelsea (A) 27 Man City (H) MAY 4 Everton (A) 12…

1 DON’T PANIC It’s unlikely Warnock will be sacked if Cardiff start badly – unlikely, but not impossible. Most of their players are new to this league, and after three winnable matches Cardiff’s September and October schedule features six of last season’s top seven. They were wise to conduct summer business early. But Crystal Palace just finished 11th having been winless, goalless and pointless after seven games, so patience is key. 2 KEEP SHUFFLING THE PACK Rotation worked last year, with 30 different players starting games and only three unchanged line-ups named. The talent in Cardiff’s squad is evenly spread, so picking an XI to suit the occasion should still be an option. The exception is in goal: Neil Etheridge or Smithies? Warnock must choose. 3 MAINTAIN DISCIPLINE Although Cardiff…

This season will be different to last because we’re not in the Champions League. And we’re not going to win the league, as we did when that happened in 2016-17. The opposition player I secretly admire is Mo Salah, as humble as he is talented. What a shame we didn’t keep hold of him. Our pantomime villain is Jose Mourinho. He’ll pick fights with everyone again when he realises he’s not going to win the league. Keep an eye out for Ethan Ampadu. It’s hard to believe he’s still only 17. If he impresses in the League Cup, he may get chances in bigger games. The player I’d happily drive to another club is either Ross Barkley or Danny Drinkwater. They’re 7/10 players, but I’d rather see a young midfielder…

AUGUST 11 Fulham (A) 20 Liverpool (H) 26 Watford (A) SEPTEMBER 1 Southampton (H) 15 Huddersfield (A) 22 Newcastle (H) OCTOBER 1 Bournemouth (A) 6 Wolves (H) 20 Everton (A) 27 Arsenal (H) NOVEMBER 3 Chelsea (A) 10 Tottenham (H) 24 Man United (A) DECEMBER 1 Burnley (H) 4 Brighton (A) 8 West Ham (A) 15 Leicester (H) 22 Man City (A) 26 Cardiff (H) 29 Chelsea (H) JANUARY 1 Wolves (A) 12 Watford (H) 19 Liverpool (A) 30 Southampton (A) FEBRUARY 2 Fulham (H) 9 West Ham (H) 23 Leicester (A) 26 Man United (H) MARCH 2 Burnley (A) 9 Brighton (H) 16 Tottenham (A) 30 Huddersfield (H) APRIL 6 Newcastle (A) 13 Man City (H) 20 Arsenal (A) 27 Everton (H) MAY 4 Cardiff (A) 12 Bournemouth (H)…

1 IMPROVE THE AWAY FORM Silva has a reputation for excellent home results with lower returns on the road. This has been Everton’s Achilles heel for a couple of seasons, too. Last term the Toffees triumphed just three times on their travels; only three teams won fewer, and two were relegated. Silva and Everton will need to grind out results as well as dazzle. 2 DEFEND THE WINGS BETTER Although they have experienced full-backs in Leighton Baines and Seamus Coleman, Everton did not defend the wings well in 2017-18. This weakness was targeted mercilessly and Silva will have to address it, either tactically or by introducing fresh faces. Cuco Martina isn’t a particularly reliable back-up on either flank, for a start. 3 KEEP THE BALL The Merseysiders averaged just 46.7…

This season will be different to last because we’re in the Premier League again! Keep an eye out for Steven Sessegnon. With Ryan Fredericks going, the other Ryan’s twin is up the right-back pecking order. Fans of other clubs might not know that Slavisa Jokanovic may seem dour, but he is a funny guy with some great one-liners. He told wantaway striker Chris Martin, “We are not a train station.” One change I would make at our club is to make Kevin McDonald captain. He’s the side’s true leader. Save the date for Fulham vs Crystal Palace on August 11. It’s our first game of the season, Roy Hodgson is back with the visiting team, and Fulham vs Palace was also our last Premier League game before relegation. The opposition…

AUGUST 11 Chelsea (H) 19 Man City (A) 25 Cardiff (H) SEPTEMBER 1 Everton (A) 15 Crystal Palace (H) 22 Leicester (A) 29 Tottenham (H) OCTOBER 6 Burnley (A) 20 Liverpool (H) 27 Watford (A) NOVEMBER 3 Fulham (H) 10 West Ham (H) 24 Wolves (A) DECEMBER 1 Brighton (H) 4 Bournemouth (A) 8 Arsenal (A) 15 Newcastle (H) 22 Southampton (H) 26 Man United (A) 29 Fulham (A) JANUARY 1 Burnley (H) 12 Cardiff (A) 19 Man City (H) 29 Everton (H) FEBRUARY 2 Chelsea (A) 9 Arsenal (H) 23 Newcastle (A) 26 Wolves (H) MARCH 2 Brighton (A) 9 Bournemouth (H) 16 West Ham (A) 30 Crystal Palace (A) APRIL 6 Leicester (H) 13 Tottenham (A) 20 Watford (H) 27 Liverpool (A) MAY 4 Man United (H) 12…

1 BED IN A NEW SYSTEM It feels likely that Leicester will shift shape: Harry Maguire and Jonny Evans are both good ball-playing defenders, while there are now strong wing-back options in Ricardo Pereira and one of Ben Chilwell or Christian Fuchs. A 3-5-2 would provide width and offer more control in the middle, suiting each of Wilfred Ndidi, Adrien Silva and Maddison – plus, no frustrating No.10 role for poacher Kelechi Iheanacho. 2 EASE OUT THE OLD Veteran skipper Wes Morgan (34) finally showed his age last season and will probably be phased out in 2018-19. Robert Huth has left on a free transfer, Simpson will fall behind Pereira in the pecking order and Fuchs could pass on the baton to Chilwell for good. Each member of that quartet…

This season will be different to last because Claude Puel will have had the transfer window and a full pre-season to shape his squad. Our most underrated player is Marc Albrighton: consistent, committed and a classy crosser of the ball. That he’s never had a sniff of an England call-up is a travesty. The best away fans are definitely not Arsenal’s. Newcastle fans, on the other hand, travel in numbers and never stop singing. Keep an eye out for George Thomas. With Riyad Mahrez expected to leave, the 21-year-old winger could get his chance. He has been banging in the goals for the under-23s and is already capped for Wales even though he is yet to make his first-team debut with Leicester. The opposition player I secretly admire is James…

Matheus Toscano (aka 8bitfootball on Instagram) produced the artwork for this month’s cover. “Drawing footballers as pixel art is always a challenge: there’s so much to capture in so few pixels! From Fellaini’s hair to Southgate’s waistcoat, I hope you can spot your favourites.” Gregg Davies: Our diligent Chief Sub worked from sunrise to sunset to perfect this issue and our Season Preview guide. “There were more than a few late nights spent in the office, but not even the World Cup rumbling on in the background could distract me from our biggest magazine of the year.” Jon Shard: The Mancunian snapper visited Melwood to photograph the not-so-boring James Milner for this month’s One-on-One. “Even when my assistant came through with the custard pie, James still maintained his cool. Most…

HIGH: 2002 Becomes the Premier League’s youngest ever goalscorer LOW: 2004 Relegated with Leeds, then sold to Newcastle to raise funds HIGH: 2010 Wins PFA Young Player of the Year while at Aston Villa LOW: 2013 Wigan stun his Manchester City side in the FA Cup final HIGH: 2014 Lifts the Premier League title for the second time in three seasons LOW: 2016 Plays three minutes of England’s Euro 2016 disaster and retires HIGH: 2018 Helps Liverpool into Champions League final after own goal in semi…

“ME, A VIKING? NO, NO. I’M A LOVER, NOT A FIGHTER” Hello, Eidur. Apparently, 54 per cent of Icelanders believe in elves. Where do you stand on the supernatural woodland beings? Hi. I really want to believe in elves, but I’m going to put myself in the other 46 per cent. It’s a real belief in Iceland, going back centuries. We have these huge rocks in certain areas. If people ever try to remove them to build there, something goes wrong. Icelanders feel there’s a higher power protecting these ‘elf stones’. My heart wants elves to exist... but my head says they don’t. Do you think the Vikings get a bad reputation because of all the murder and pillaging? They are said to have invented spectacles, skis and the comb,…

“MY SPURS DEBUT CAME JUST THREE OR FOUR DAYS AFTER I’D ARRIVED IN ENGLAND, BUT I SCORED TWICE AND WE WON” Egypt 2 UAE 1 January 6, 2001 Friendly “My first game for the Egyptian national team against the United Arab Emirates is one of the matches I will never forget. I was young, not even 18, and I became the youngest player in the history of the national team. Egypt coach Mahmoud El-Gohary received a lot of criticism for playing me at such a young age, ahead of more experienced players. There was criticism directed towards me as well – the public had their doubts – but despite that I scored on my debut and we won.” Inter 0 Marseille 1 April 14, 2004 UEFA Cup “This Inter match…

Footballers love a sing-song, especially when it’s for a good cause. With Spurs’ 1955-56 season petering out to an insipid 18th-place finish, (left to right) Tony Marchi, Danny Blanchflower and George Robb dressed up like Italian waiters – featuring some magnificent fake facial hair – to practise for the Children’s All Nations Cavalcade of Song and Dance. Held in aid of what would become SCOPE at the Royal Albert Hall, the showing earned rave reviews for the trio.…

Who? Author of the 1995 scorpion kick against England at Wembley, the Colombian’s long curly hair, lairy shirts and Kamikaze style defined goalkeeping eccentricity. Atletico Nacional’s 1989 Copa Libertadores winner spent seven months in jail for mediating the kidnap of drugs baron Carlos Molina’s daughter, and wasn’t fit to play at the 1994 World Cup as a result. Quite the character, then. Anything else? The animal lover has lived with chickens, ducks, a horse and five dogs, appeared on Colombia’s version of Survivor and had a number of plastic surgery operations. Not that Higuita was particularly happy with the results. “It wasn’t what I was expecting,” huffed Rene. “But there is no use crying over it.” Shame. And now? Opted for the quiet life. Now goalkeeper coach at former club…

“I’d always ask for the pass into my feet to be hard to control. I didn’t like clean passes; I wanted to put myself under pressure” Is there such thing as an off-season for a Premier League player? I think the off-season is important for a Premier League player, but for me it didn’t mean I put my feet up. Typically I had three or four weeks off during the summer and would balance that with pure relaxation, where I’d put the ball away to give my mind and body a full rest. After that, I’d spend a few weeks working my way up, ready for the start of pre-season training. It’s important you don’t spend too long not moving – you’ve got to look after your body and ensure…

Adidas Telstar 18 This summer’s World Cup ball was a big hit in Russia, helping the players to thunder in some stunning goals. Cesc Fabregas The Chelsea and Spain pass master made his punditry debut during the tournament and won rave reviews for his intelligent insight. Peru fans Having not seen their side play at the finals since 1982, Los Incas fans were determined to be loud and proud, outnumbering France followers by seven to one in Yekaterinburg. David de Gea Manchester United’s star shot-stopper had a World Cup to forget, keeping out just one of seven efforts faced. Mario Fernandes The Russia right-back headed in a dramatic extra-time equaliser against Croatia in the last eight, only to then miss in the shootout. Neymar’s barnet The Samba forward’s spaghetti-style hairdo…

This season will be different to last because everything is different now! As well as a new manager and his coaching staff, there’s been big player turnover in the past 12 months with lots of long-serving players leaving. Our most underrated player is Granit Xhaka. Reputations are difficult to shift and he has made high-profile mistakes in the past, but he has worked hard on ironing out some of his flaws. I think he will be a key player in the future. The opposition player I secretly admire is Manchester United’s Marcus Rashford. I would commit evil deeds to bring him to N5. The best away ground is Craven Cottage. It’s the best ground in the country. I was delighted to see Fulham promoted again. One change I’d make at…

AUGUST 11 Cardiff (H) 18 West Ham (A) 25 Everton (H) SEPTEMBER 1 Chelsea (A) 15 Leicester (H) 22 Burnley (A) OCTOBER 1 Crystal Palace (H) 6 Watford (A) 20 Southampton (H) 27 Fulham (A) NOVEMBER 3 Man United (H) 10 Newcastle (A) 24 Arsenal (H) DECEMBER 1 Man City (A) 4 Huddersfield (H) 8 Liverpool (H) 15 Wolves (A) 22 Brighton (H) 26 Tottenham (A) 29 Man United (A) JANUARY 1 Watford (H) 12 Everton (A) 19 West Ham (H) 29 Chelsea (H) FEBRUARY 2 Cardiff (A) 9 Liverpool (A) 23 Wolves (H) 26 Arsenal (A) MARCH 2 Man City (H) 9 Huddersfield (A) 16 Newcastle (H) 30 Leicester (A) APRIL 6 Burnley (H) 13 Brighton (A) 20 Fulham (H) 27 Southampton (A) MAY 4 Tottenham (H) 12 Crystal…

1 IMPROVE AWAY FORM Only Manchester City, Liverpool, Chelsea and Leicester won at the Amex last term – albeit by an aggregate score of 13-1 – but on the road, Brighton scored the league’s fewest goals (10), won the fewest matches (two) and gained the fewest points (11). Being a little more resilient on their travels would ease some of the pressure on their good home record. 2 EVEN OUT THE SET-PIECES Despite sturdy campaigns at the heart of defence for Duffy – who topped the league charts for blocks and clearances – and Dunk, 40 per cent of the goals conceded by Brighton came from set-pieces. That is a fundamental frailty. At the other end, meanwhile, Brighton created more chances from corners than 17 of the other 19 teams,…

This season will be different to last because we have increased expectations to contend with. Our most underrated player is Stephen Ward. It’s no coincidence that our Premier League record is significantly poorer without him in the side. The opposition player I secretly admire is Kieran Trippier, partly due to his Clarets connection, but mainly because he’s become one of the best full-backs in Europe. Fans of other clubs might not know that defender Kevin Long is our longest-serving player, having arrived at the club in 2010. Since then, he has made just 50 Burnley appearances in all competitions. Our pantomime villain is Neil Warnock. Always. Keep an eye out for Tinashe Chakwana, who followed up his top-scoring season for Burnley’s under-18s in 2016-17 by doing it with the under-23s…

AUGUST 11 Bournemouth (A) 18 Newcastle (H) 25 Huddersfield (A) SEPTEMBER 2 Arsenal (H) 15 Chelsea (A) 22 Man City (H) 30 Burnley (H) OCTOBER 6 Tottenham (A) 20 Fulham (H) 27 Liverpool (A) NOVEMBER 3 Leicester (H) 10 Brighton (H) 24 Everton (A) DECEMBER 1 Wolves (H) 4 West Ham (A) 8 Southampton (H) 15 Watford (A) 22 Man United (H) 26 Crystal Palace (A) 29 Leicester (A) JANUARY 1 Tottenham (H) 12 Huddersfield (H) 19 Newcastle (A) 29 Arsenal (A) FEBRUARY 2 Bournemouth (H) 9 Southampton (A) 23 Watford (H) 26 Everton (H) MARCH 2 Wolves (A) 9 West Ham (H) 16 Brighton (A) 30 Chelsea (H) APRIL 6 Man City (A) 13 Burnley (A) 20 Liverpool (H) 27 Fulham (A) MAY 4 Crystal Palace (H) 12 Man…

1 KEEP HAZARD HAPPY Stop faffing about with false nines, which led to the sagging-shoulders schtick at Manchester City. Eden Hazard is best cutting in from the inside left channel, free to create as he sees fit. He is 27, with interest from Real Madrid and Barcelona, and Chelsea must do everything they can to keep him sweet. 2 BUY BETTER You may have heard on Radio Conte that last summer’s window wasn’t the best. Alvaro Morata faded badly, Danny Drinkwater started five league games all season, Tiemoue Bakayoko seldom looked a £40m player and Davide Zappacosta didn’t dislodge Victor Moses at wing-back. It’s also been rumoured that Ross Barkley is at the club. Dynamic quality must be brought in to refresh what now appears to be a one-paced, functional…

This season will be different to last because with Roy signing off the incomings and taking a full pre-season, we hope to avoid the stress of the previous campaign. Keep an eye out for right-back Aaron Wan-Bissaka. Quick and excellent in the tackle, he was only introduced due to an injury crisis and now he’s the likely first choice. Our most underrated player is James Tomkins. Paying £10m in 2016 looks a snip in retrospect. Our pantomime villain is Jose Mourinho, so desperate for a title. Fans of other clubs might not know that our women’s side were the biggest losers in the creation of Manchester United’s equivalent. Not being named a Championship side was a huge blow. One change I would make at our club is to remove The…

AUGUST 11 Wolves (A) 18 Southampton (H) 25 Bournemouth (A) SEPTEMBER 1 Huddersfield (H) 16 West Ham (H) 23 Arsenal (A) 29 Fulham (H) OCTOBER 6 Leicester (A) 20 Crystal Palace (H) 27 Man United (A) NOVEMBER 3 Brighton (H) 10 Chelsea (H) 24 Cardiff (H) DECEMBER 1 Liverpool (A) 5 Newcastle (H) 8 Watford (H) 15 Man City (A) 22 Tottenham (H) 26 Burnley (A) 29 Brighton (A) JANUARY 1 Leicester (H) 12 Bournemouth (H) 19 Southampton (A) 29 Huddersfield (A) FEBRUARY 2 Wolves (H) 9 Watford (A) 23 Man City (H) 26 Cardiff (A) MARCH 2 Liverpool (H) 9 Newcastle (A) 16 Chelsea (H) 30 West Ham (A) APRIL 6 Arsenal (H) 13 Fulham (A) 20 Man United (H) 27 Crystal Palace (A) MAY 4 Burnley (H) 12…

1 KEEP DOMINATING GAMES Fulham topped the Championship’s possession figures with a passing style that was pleasing on the eye. Hogging the ball will be harder at this level, but taking on the country’s best teams is a damned sight easier when you aren’t chasing them for 90 minutes. 2 DON’T GET ITCHY FEET Jokanovic, formerly a midfielder at local boys Chelsea, has been imperative to Fulham’s revival. Before arriving in December 2015, he had quite the wanderlust: the average tenure of his previous six managerial spells (in six different countries) was 10 months, and he left Watford weeks after taking them up into the Premier League as he felt the contract offered didn’t show much faith in him. At last, he has found a reason to settle down. 3…

This season will be different to last because we had no expectations last season and could play with freedom. This season, there’s more pressure. One change I’d make at our club is to make the stadium bigger. The best away ground is St James’ Park, for sure. The best away fans are Spurs supporters – I hope they’ll be as great as they were last season. Our most underrated player is Zanka [aka Mathias Jorgensen]. Christopher Schindler got a lot of the credit for our defensive performances in 2017-18, yet he couldn’t have done it without the Great Dane alongside him. The player I would happily drive to another club is Collin Quaner. Unfortunately he’s not quite up to Premier League standard. Save the date for Spurs away on April…

1 NICE ARTWORK IF YOU CAN GET IT France Paris Once labelled “as valuable as the Mona Lisa” by his agent Mino Raiola, Mario Balotelli tested the theory by snapping himself sampling the Leonardo da Vinci doodle amid rumours he was leaving his club Nice. Potential buyers from around Europe swiftly got in touch to say they’d be keen to pay big money to purchase the star of the photo… and they’d chuck in a fiver to buy Balotelli as well. 2 RESTRICTED VIEW Bangladesh Dhaka It might seem strange (not to mention dangerous) to watch the World Cup with a bag over your head, but such measures were taken in Bangladesh, where folks viewed the action in the pouring rain on the streets of Dhaka. The bags were transparent,…

Answers 1) Stoke; 2) Bristol Rovers; 3) AFC Wimbledon; 4) Mansfield; 5) Bournemouth; 6) Bolton; 7) Sunderland; 8) Burton; 9) Crewe; 10) Huddersfield; 11) Reading; 12) Leicester; 13) Burnley; 14) Peterborough; 15) Hull; 16) Yeovil; 17) Sheffield United; 18) Fleetwood; 19) Sheffield Wednesday; 20) Chelsea NEVER CHANGE, SOUTH AMERICA Five players were sent off when a Brazilian fourth-tier clash between Treze and Caxias descended into a mass brawl, featuring a Treze player being chased across the pitch…

Matthew Connors Business analyst, 34 Trent Alexander-Arnold Defender, 19 Q: Who got the Reds’ first goal of 2017/18? MC: Oh god, is there a time limit? I think it’s Sadio Mané. TAA: Sadio? 1-1 Q: Roberto Firmino signed from which club? MC: It begins with H… Hertha Berlin? TAA: Definitely Hoffenheim. 1-2 Q: Who was manager when Liverpool were promoted in 1962? MC: It’s either Paisley or Shankly... Shankly. TAA: Umm, the ’60s… Was it Bill Shankly? 2-3 Q: When Liverpool beat Crystal Palace 9-0 in 1989, only one player scored twice. Who? MC: I’ve no idea, really. Steve McMahon? TAA: John Barnes? (Answer: Steve Nicol) 2-3 Player wins…

COMPARED TO: His old man, who played for PSG before winning the Ballon d’Or at Milan. Weah Jr is also a striker but more wiry than George and can play on the left of a front three, cutting inside onto his better foot. In 1995, Gianluigi Buffon kept a clean sheet on his Parma debut against his new team-mate’s dad. THE STORY SO FAR: Born in New York, Weah was picked up by PSG’s academy in 2014 and has been prolific in the UEFA Youth League. He made his first senior start on the Ligue 1 season’s final day, and is the USA’s first 2000s-born player and their fourth-youngest goalscorer. IDOLISED: Edinson Cavani (inset). “After training, I’ll sit down with Edinson,” says Weah. “He tells me, ‘Tim, you’re doing this…

@GaryLineker Had a dream last night that I was arrested and taken from my hotel by a team of VAR referees, in full kit, for disagreeing with a VAR decision. I need a day off. @FrankMSinclair The island’s gone mad – just been asked for a selfie while having a piss. Come on fella, can I wash my hands? @ariellec Looks like Wazza is about to announce political news. @Ed_Miliband Roy Keane is just awful, sorry. @SachinNakrani Nothing better at the World Cup than Ally McCoist’s history lessons. I’ll never forget him telling us about Ivan the Terrible’s storming of Kazan during Poland vs Colombia. @HoarseWisperer Surprising scoreline at the World Cup Final. France 2, Croatia 2, Referees 2 *If the current product is out of stock, a similar model…

He may not have added a trophy to his mantelpiece, but there can be no doubting that Christian Eriksen achieved a lot in 2017-18. The Dane scored 14 goals for Tottenham – the best return of his club career – including Champions League strikes at home to European champions Real Madrid and away to the famously stingy Juventus, not to mention an unstoppable dipping rocket that helped to secure his club’s first win at Stamford Bridge in 28 years. On top of his goalscoring, Eriksen’s elegant playmaking helped the north Londoners to overcome the notable hurdle of playing their ‘home’ games at Wembley Stadium. They ended the campaign in a very credible 3rd place, ensuring a third consecutive season of Champions League football for Mauricio Pochettino’s men. Although surprisingly omitted…

Milan kit – 1989-90 Successful teams’ tops tend to ignite more wide-eyed nostalgia than most, but the kit in which the Rossoneri lifted successive European Cups is a humdinger. Oei, Oei, Oei It’s a sign of how big a deal Johan Cruyff was in 1974 that label Polydor re-released a single primarily featuring grunting. Despite singing in Dutch, Cruyff’s hit charted better in Spain than in the Netherlands. Nike Tiempo boots First seen during the 1994 World Cup and sported by Romario and Paolo Maldini in the final, the Tiempo brought a swoosh to football. And the fold-down tongue.…

Yes it’s that time of year once again, when out-of-contract footballers go in search of a new club ahead of the new campaign, while managers look for a bargain among the rubble of free agents. For some, a successful trial or persuasive agent will help to seal a deal, but there’s now another way for players to put themselves in the shop window. Former Leicester, Aston Villa and Coventry striker Julian Joachim has created an online platform called Player Trader, which enables clubs, players – professional or semi-pro – and unsigned young talent to interact in one place. Supporters can even join in and rate the ballers based on their performances, to form an Uber-style ranking. But if you were thinking of uploading your Sunday League profile to the platform…

OLEG LUZHNY “I played alongside him at Dynamo Kiev at the start of my career – he was an excellent player at club level and for the national team as well. He played with me for the USSR, and later represented Ukraine. Oleg stayed at Dynamo Kiev for 10 years, then joined Arsenal when he was in his 30s. At that age, it’s very difficult to make a move like that – you see some players, and it’s not possible for them to sign for a huge club at that stage of their career. However, he was a great defender.” ROY KEANE “He was definitely the best midfielder I played with in my career. Roy came after Bryan Robson, and he was another real captain for Manchester United. I didn’t…

1 SHOW THEM WHO’S BOSS Wenger made players responsible for their own performance. Some of his stars repaid him with lacklustre displays, safe in the knowledge that he wouldn’t punish them. Emery (left) needs to lay down the law early: either get on board and follow the blueprint, or be shipped out, regardless of stature. 2 ORGANISE THE DEFENCE Last season, Arsenal conceded 51 goals – their most since 1983-84. On a limited budget, Emery has to maximise what he’s got. Organise the back line, then implement intensive pressing across the pitch, to alleviate the pressure on a defence often left isolated by an attack-minded midfield. 3 ENTICE BACK THE FANS Swathes of empty seats inside the Emirates hurt the team, the club’s global reputation and the board’s bottom line.…

This season will be different to last because the Premier League looks the strongest it’s been in our four seasons at this level. There’ll be no margin for error this year. Fans of other clubs might not know that our manager is a big fan of A-Ha’s music. The opposition players I secretly admire are mainly Spurs players, it seems. Harry Kane, Dele Alli, Mousa Dembele and Christian Eriksen are all ridiculously good. Keep an eye out for Lys Mousset. His substitute cameos became steadily more impressive last term. He joined the club in 2016 but this could be the season in which the 22-year-old gets a run of starts. Save the date for when we play champions Man City at the Etihad on December 1. They have beaten us…

AUGUST 11 Watford (A) 19 Man United (H) 25 Liverpool (A) SEPTEMBER 1 Fulham (H) 17 Southampton (A) 22 Tottenham (H) 29 Man City (A) OCTOBER 6 West Ham (H) 20 Newcastle (A) 27 Wolves (H) NOVEMBER 3 Everton (A) 10 Cardiff (A) 24 Leicester (H) DECEMBER 1 Huddersfield (A) 4 Crystal Palace (H) 8 Burnley (A) 15 Chelsea (H) 22 Bournemouth (A) 26 Arsenal (H) 29 Everton (H) JANUARY 1 West Ham (A) 12 Liverpool (H) 19 Man United (A) 29 Fulham (A) FEBRUARY 2 Watford (H) 9 Burnley (H) 23 Chelsea (A) 26 Leicester (A) MARCH 2 Huddersfield (H) 9 Crystal Palace (A) 16 Cardiff (H) 30 Southampton (H) APRIL 6 Tottenham (A) 13 Bournemouth (H) 20 Wolves (A) 27 Newcastle (H) MAY 4 Arsenal (A) 12 Man…

1 KEEP IT TIGHT AT THE BACK Burnley conceded just 39 goals last season, eight fewer than any other team outside the top five and 12 fewer than Arsenal. Dyche’s Clarets are organised – it’s the key to their success and helped Tom Heaton, Nick Pope and James Tarkowski to earn England caps. 2 DON’T LET THE EUROPA LEAGUE AFFECT THEM The Lancastrians were forced into an early start to the new season, playing their first Europa League match against Aberdeen on July 26, so their campaign immediately felt the impact. Europe is a challenge the club haven’t faced for 51 years. When they finished seventh last term, they stressed their intention to embrace it, but they must also make sure that their elongated season doesn’t affect league results. 3…

This season will be different to last because Cardiff City are in the Premier League! Our most underrated player is Joe Ralls, who often doesn’t get the praise he deserves. One change I would make at our club is to improve the youth facilities. We haven’t had an academy prospect break into our first team for years – even Ralls was 16 years old when he joined us as an apprentice. Our pantomime villains are the referees. We never seem to get the rub of the green. The best away ground is Anfield. Liverpool have the best fans, too. Save the date for April 27, when we face Fulham at Craven Cottage. That game could be key for either side’s survival hopes. Fans of other clubs might not know that…

AUGUST 11 Huddersfield (A) 18 Arsenal (H) 26 Newcastle (A) SEPTEMBER 1 Bournemouth (H) 15 Cardiff (H) 23 West Ham (A) 29 Liverpool (H) OCTOBER 6 Southampton (A) 20 Man United (H) 27 Burnley (A) NOVEMBER 3 Crystal Palace (H) 10 Everton (H) 24 Tottenham (A) DECEMBER 1 Fulham (H) 4 Wolves (A) 8 Man City (H) 15 Brighton (A) 22 Leicester (H) 26 Watford (A) 29 Crystal Palace (A) JANUARY 1 Southampton (H) 12 Newcastle (H) 19 Arsenal (A) 29 Bournemouth (A) FEBRUARY 2 Huddersfield (H) 9 Man City (A) 23 Brighton (H) 27 Tottenham (H) MARCH 2 Fulham (A) 9 Wolves (H) 16 Everton (A) 30 Cardiff (A) APRIL 6 West Ham (H) 13 Liverpool (A) 20 Burnley (H) 27 Man United (A) MAY 4 Watford (H) 12…

1 CONVERT MORE CHANCES Only the Premier League’s top six averaged more shots per game than Palace last term, and various expected goals models rated them the seventh-best in the division. Creating chances is only part of the job, though, and the Eagles need to be more clinical. Three-goal Christian Benteke was the prime culprit for wasting golden opportunities, but he wasn’t alone. 2 HIT THE GROUND RUNNING Notoriously slow starters, Palace have occupied a bottom-four place on four of the past five New Year’s Days (though the other time, they were fifth). They also scored first in just four of their first 22 matches last term. Hit the ground running, both in matches and in the campaign as a whole, and Palace could top their record Premier League finish…

This season will be different to last because there’s no Ronald Koeman and no Sam Allardyce. It seems like ancient history now. One change I’d make at our club is to have some quiet stability. It’s been an undignified 12 months in terms of management – and management of management. The opposition player I secretly admire is Chelsea’s N’Golo Kante. He would have fitted into our mid-1980s pantheon perfectly. Save the date for Liverpool at Goodison Park, as always – it’s in early-March this season. The best away fans are the Toon Army. They still believe, and they know how to simultaneously love a club and a manager while hating an owner. Our pantomime villain is Jose Mourinho, always sulking and whinging on the touchline and in the media room…

AUGUST 11 Crystal Palace (H) 18 Tottenham (A) 25 Burnley (H) SEPTEMBER 1 Brighton (A) 15 Man City (A) 22 Watford (H) 29 Everton (A) OCTOBER 6 Arsenal (H) 20 Cardiff (A) 27 Bournemouth (H) NOVEMBER 3 Huddersfield (A) 10 Liverpool (A) 24 Southampton (H) DECEMBER 1 Chelsea (A) 4 Leicester (H) 8 Man United (A) 15 West Ham (H) 22 Newcastle (A) 26 Wolves (H) 29 Huddersfield (H) JANUARY 1 Arsenal (A) 12 Burnley (A) 19 Tottenham (H) 29 Brighton (H) FEBRUARY 2 Crystal Palace (A) 9 Man United (H) 23 West Ham (A) 27 Southampton (A) MARCH 2 Chelsea (H) 9 Leicester (A) 16 Liverpool (H) 30 Man City (H) APRIL 6 Watford (A) 13 Everton (H) 20 Bournemouth (A) 27 Cardiff (H) MAY 4 Wolves (A) 12…

1 KEEP THE TERRIERS’ UNDERDOG SPIRIT Clothes make the man, and David Wagner’s belief in the importance of a terrier-like mentality – of a small dog with lots of fight – has transferred to the players’ garments: Huddersfield will wear the aforementioned pooch on their shirts this season in place of their club crest. The message is simple. This is a club that took points off top dogs Manchester City, Manchester United and Chelsea last time out – they must maintain that fearless mindset. 2 MAXIMISE MOMENTUM OF MAIN MAN MOOY Step one: do not sell Aaron Mooy to any of the clubs linked with the Australian midfielder, including but not limited to West Ham, Southampton and Everton. Step two: pass the ball to Aaron Mooy whenever possible. Step three:…

AUGUST 10 Man United (A) 18 Wolves (H) 25 Southampton (A) SEPTEMBER 1 Liverpool (H) 15 Bournemouth (A) 22 Huddersfield (H) 29 Newcastle (A) OCTOBER 6 Everton (H) 20 Arsenal (A) 27 West Ham (H) NOVEMBER 3 Cardiff (A) 10 Burnley (H) 24 Brighton (A) DECEMBER 1 Watford (H) 4 Fulham (A) 8 Tottenham (H) 15 Crystal Palace (A) 22 Chelsea (A) 26 Man City (H) 29 Cardiff (H) JANUARY 1 Everton (A) 12 Southampton (H) 19 Wolves (A) 30 Liverpool (A) FEBRUARY 2 Man United (H) 9 Tottenham (A) 23 Crystal Palace (H) 26 Brighton (H) MARCH 2 Watford (A) 9 Fulham (H) 16 Burnley (A) 30 Bournemouth (H) APRIL 6 Huddersfield (A) 13 Newcastle (H) 20 West Ham (A) 27 Arsenal (H) MAY 4 Man City (A) 12…