Innholdsfortegnelse for November 2018 i FHM Australia (Archive)

Now you’ve got it, what to do with it? Well, one or all of these… With soda water A Japanese classic, this sounds strange but tastes amazing and super-refreshing. Add a sprig of mint for the full effect. Straight on the rock OK, ice cubes will do, but for the real Japanese deal, one hand-carved fist-sized ice sphere in your glass will keep your spirit chilled for longer. Old-fashioned Replace your go-to whisky with a Japanese single malt and just a dash of a peaty Scotch for a killer classic with a modern twist.…

THEY WANT: Great meat, epic nightlife and unforgettable football YOU SAY: Istanbul, Turkey. Let’s get boisterous by the Bosphorus The safe part of your brain wanted to say ‘Barcelona’. But let’s face it – even your dad’s eaten chorizo, Instagrammed the living daylights out of Las Ramblas and live-tweeted grainy shots of #sittinginthebackrowatElClásico. This means you and the boys need a fresher destination so head to the city where East meets West. We’re talking about Istanbul, a huge metropolis with a population of approximately 15 million, a handful of top football teams, a pulsating winter bar scene (be warned: a lot of the clubs close in summer) and more culture than you can shake some succulently marinated meat on a stick at. When you arrive at the airport, get the…

Things to pack “Kit discussions get me excited. I’d never leave without my Gerber Dime pocket-knife/multi-tool thing. I’ve used it to cut holes in clothing when people have been injured. And my tiny Streamlight Nano torch has saved my life more than once.” Wrap up “No matter where I’m going, cold or hot, I’ll take my shemagh – a Middle Eastern headscarf that can look quite dodgy if you’re boarding an American airplane. It’s useful for warmth, as a towel or something to lie on or wash up with. Can’t remember where I got it – either Shepherds Bush Market in London or Mogadishu, Somalia.“ All in the eyes “Wearing sunglasses doesn’t help when you’re trying to get on with people in an unfamiliar situation. Wherever you are, people seem…

Old people texting “Hahaha, look, your gran thinks LOL means lots of love…” Classic. Antony Costa 70% man, 30% potato with a penchant for public urination and yet against all odds he was in a boy band. Hope for us all. Trying out different facial hair while you shave Find us a man who hasn’t tried to do a Charlie Chaplin tash in the privacy of his bathroom and we’ll show you a liar. UFC knockouts on YouTube Big men getting knocked down by even bigger men inside cages to rap music. Primal LOLathon.…

We all have a little bit of villain inside of us. Even if the last time it reared its ugly head was when you were three and decapitated your sister’s favourite doll. But even if you don’t act on it (and you really shouldn’t, for all sorts of moral, philosophical, and prison-avoiding reasons), that doesn’t mean we can’t entertain villainous thoughts from time to time. That’s why writing villains is so enjoyable. You get to create a character that isn’t bound by everyday inhibitions or boring-old morality. Lily Kintner, the protagonist in my novel The Kind Worth Killing is by far my favourite of the characters I’ve created. She’s certainly villainous, and probably outright psychopathic, but there’s also something immensely practical about her. When Lily decides to do something (murder…

Q 1. How did you mark April Fools’ Day this year? A You put all the clocks in your house forward an hour. B With some ill-judged joke on Twitter about anal sex. C FFS, do people still do April Fools’ pranks? D Set elaborate Home Alone-style booby traps for your dad. Then filmed him being covered in glue and feathers. Then made a Vine out of the footage. Q 2. Which of these are you most likely to do in the shower? A Use someone else’s pricey Original Source bodywash. B Shave your wild pubes using a disposable razor that ain’t yours. C Sing some classic Hall & Oates, occasionally making up the lyrics. D Stage your own ‘dirty protest’ just to see what it would look like, then…

Rolling dumbbell skull crusher Lie back on a bench with a dumbbell in each hand straight above your chest in a hammer position. Slowly bend your elbows and allow your upper arms to rest on either side of your head. Reverse the motion to return the dumbbell to its original position. Push-up-position hammer curl Grasp a pair of dumbbells in each hand and assume a push-up position with your palms facing inwards. Alternate curling the weights upwards towards your shoulder with each arm. Incline dumbbell curl Sitting back on an incline bench, hold dumbbells with your arms by your sides and palms facing inwards. Curl your arms upwards while twisting your palms away from your body. Reset and repeat. Floor press Lie on your back. Allow your triceps to rest…

DJ BBQ SAYS… “If I had my way, I’d wear pizza like a warming poncho. I’d bathe in its molten cheesiness. I’d introduce its name into the English vocabulary to mean ‘rad, awesome, brilliant’ and use it in everyday conversation. ‘Hey, DJ BBQ, how was your weekend?” “Man, it was pizza! The weather was pizza!” I’m an inch away from shedding a tiny tear as I write this, thinking about a pizzaless world. “Luckily, that can never happen. With this recipe, pizza is always right around the corner with this assemble-on-the-hob circle of radonkulousness. OK, so you’ve gotta plan ahead a bit to get the fresh dough ready, but that’s the hard part. After that, you’re seconds from greatness on a plate. These are my favourite toppings, but you know…

Matt Prior, adventure holiday entrepreneur “Palawan, a small island to the west of the Philippines, is one of my favourite places to get away from it all, and still dirt cheap. Renting a boat for the day costs almost nothing, then once you have your transport, you’re off. Cooking fish you’ve caught over an open fire, jumping off wherever you feel like it into crystal-clear water and sleeping under the stars is incredible.’ Visit mpadventureacademy.com  for your next adrenaline-fuelled trip…

WALK THE RIVER COCKER Clocking in at five miles long, the trail that follows the River Cocker is an occasionally slippy, shoe-destroying route that’ll make you feel alive (and then bloody knackered). Make sure you wear some decent walking boots as you pass through woodland, sheep fields and turnstiles that look like they were built by vikings. Bring a brolly On a taxi journey to Cockermouth, we were told by local experts that the area was one of the wettest in the UK. Nearly 24 hours later, we were stuck in full monsoon-like downpour on top of a hill in a non waterproof jacket, being pelted by raindrops that felt like bee stings on our frozen faces. Always read the brochure, people. Sleep next door to Wordsworth The Trout Hotel…

…WHEN YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE Stop crying, man. Break-ups are great. Think of it as being born again. Colours are brighter. Flowers smell sweeter. You don’t have to keep going out for tapas any more. Plus, you get to do the amazing, vengeful thing of changing your Netflix password. GOOD LUCK FINDING OUT HOW THEY MANAGE THAT PRISON BREAK, SARA. But before you dive back into that dating pool, some no-nos: don’t check her Facebook messages if you have her password. If she owes you money, write it off if it’s less than R2 000. If it’s more than R10 000, procure the service of a lawyer. If you need to meet, do it in a neutral location. Bedrooms are off limits. Don’t think about another man’s…

Were you excited to shoot for FHM? Yes, I was very excited to shoot for FHM because modeling is artistic and can be empowering if done right. Tell us something surprising about you? I own a small media company called The Source TV in the United States. I produce radio shows and stream them on large networks such as NBC and iHeart Radio. Describe yourself in one sentence. I am adventures, a world traveler, ambitious, loving, understanding, and family oriented. What are some of your hobbies? Fitness, traveling, and reading. What Is your biggest turn on? Intelligence, manners, ambition, confidence, and loyalty. What turns you off the most? A disrespectful person and someone who is ill-mannered. Describe to us your perfect date. Something adventurous like paint-balling, surfing, snow-boarding, or skydiving.…

Charisma The toughest bad guys look like an angel. Alain Delon in Le Samourai. Satan in Milton’s Paradise Lost was literally an angel. Lethality Whether it’s a knife or lightsaber, the baddie has to use it better than anyone else. Think Edward Fox shooting the watermelon with his sniper rifle in The Day Of The Jackal. Stoic Bad guys don’t need to use words. They just stare (or glare) and wait for anyone foolish enough to challenge them. Deceptive kindness A gentle appearance makes a villain even more shocking: Fonda’s sympathetic blue eyes before he shoots the kid dead in Once Upon A Time In The West. Cool car or horse Great bad guys need equally menacing rides like the Dodge Charger in Bullitt or the Witch-king of Angmar in…

PROTECT YOUR FAMILY This print will help you remember the good times, when Nic Cage was at his crazy best, and before Ghost Rider 2 ruined everything. LOOK AT ALL YOUR SHIT Guns and aliens and weed and unicorns and last month’s cover model/Spring Breakers star Ashley Benson in a bikini? It’s enough to confuse your trousers beyond all recognition. WORK LESS, PLAY MORE London duo Crispin Finn have created a series of these can-you-tell-what-it-is? prints that includes Jaws, American Psycho, The Big Lebowski and this. BECOME A BIG DEAL If we have to name the smartly dressed, Baxter-walking newscaster behind this ’tache, you need to sort your DVD collection out. Quickly. CHANNEL A HELLRAISER “You never met a pair like Butch and The Kid” reads the poster for this…

MAKE TIME FOR BAD HABITS Organise your time so you’re able to do what you need and what you want. Simply tap in your workload and all the stuff you probably shouldn’t do and Timeful will suggest timeframes for each. Like having your own PA. THE ULTIMATE PRODUCTIVITY APP This is the most comprehensive note and file management app available. Evernote lets you type, record, take pictures, grab web pages, annotate images, set up to-do lists and everything in between – and then orders it in an easy and intuitive format before syncing across all your other devices. It’s a computer in an app. KEEP SOME JUICE Avoid the pain of watching your phone battery drain into oblivion right before your eyes. Battery Doctor estimates your current battery life and…

Scotland, we’ve had some great times together, and you’ve been there when we’ve needed you most. It’s just Japan can offer something you can’t. Japan has the planet’s finest whisky and, *sigh*, we’ve been getting together behind your back. Please don’t be angry. In our defence, we’re not alone in ditching a classic Highland dram in favour of an East Asian snifter. Since Yamazaki’s Single Malt Sherry Cask 2013 beat off thousands of other competitors to claim the title of 2015’s world’s best (and leaving Scottish-born spirits out of the top five for the first time), it’s easy to see why lovers of the ‘water of life’ have changed their allegiances. Pretty amazing for a country who’ve only been making the stuff for 100 years, versus Scotland’s half a millennium.…

Aas ganna lowp ower yon yat. I am going to jump over that gate. Give awer yer donnat. You must be pulling my plonker. Lemme dow this. I’ll just finish my pint. Y’alreet marra? How’s it going, friend? Could do witha netty. I need to go to the toilet. Les gan furra scran. Let’s go and eat some food. Was any’un got a pun? Can somebody let me borrow a pound? Was tha fluff on ya mush? When did you grow that moustache on your upper lip? Hoy me that paper? Could you pass me that newspaper? Slapa smile on yu dial. Put a smile on your face. Av jus split mi kecks on tha yat. I’ve just split my trousers climbing over that gate.…

Dr Sameer Patel is the clinical director of the multi-award-winning London dental practice  Elleven, where he looks after the oral ivories of the rich and famous, transforming them into carpet-ready smiling machines. Here’s how you can do the same… 01 THE RULE OF TWOS “First and foremost, if you want a Hollywood smile, you need to brush your teeth. It sounds obvious, but only half the nation actually brush their teeth the recommended twice a day, with one in 10 people forgetting to brush at all. If you’re not cleaning your teeth, you’ll naturally pick up stains. Brushing twice a day for two minutes is the first thing that will keep your teeth whiter – the rule of twos.” 02 FIGHT DRY MOUTH “Tea, coffee and red wine are the…

THE MAN WHO SAVES MURDERERS Professor David R Dow has fought for the lives of 115 condemned murderers over the past 22 years as a death penalty lawyer in Houston, Texas. Win or lose, he gets to know every one of his clients intimately… Most death penalty lawyers will tell you pure evil does not exist. But I believe it does. I have seen it in the eyes of a handful over 115 condemned men and women whom I have represented over the past 25 years. Committing a murder does not make a person evil. I work tirelessly to understand why my clients did what they did – and in the vast majority of cases, I can find an explanation. And most express regret. It does not mean I forgive…

Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando) in Apocalypse Now (1979) In the book, Kurtz is tall and thin, so when Brando showed up overweight, knowing none of his lines, you could’ve forgiven the director an instant firing. Instead, he improvised, rambling 18-minute speeches including, “You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill”. The Joker (Heath Ledger) in The Dark Knight (2008) Do you want to see a magic trick? Absolutely not, you massive psycho. There’s a reason literally every suburban sixth former’s tried emulating the look of the late Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight, and it’s the same reason they hadn’t a chance in hell of pulling it off: it’s a study in pure nihilistic glee. Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem)…

Tell us something surprising about you? I’m very unpredictable. I’m very outgoing and I’m not afraid to try new experiences. Were you excited to shoot for Playboy? I was super excited. I’ve dreamed of this opportunity since I started my career. Playboy is a big platform for me, and I believe that it will take me further in my career and expose me to a much bigger challenge that I am eager to conquer. What inspires you? My biggest inspiration is my Grandmother “Nina.” She is the reason behind my career and what keeps me going harder and harder. Why did you choose to pursue a career in modelling? It’s bigger than just a dream to me. I chose this career because it puts me in my comfort zone. When…

MAKE SIRI YOUR MUSIC SCOUT Want to know what song you’re listening to without resorting to space-hogging apps like Shazam? Just ask Siri to ‘name that tune’. HIDE YOUR DODGY SELFIES Avoid your own Fappening leak by selecting the dodgy snap and holding your thumb down on it. You’ll get an option to ‘hide’ it that’ll make it vanish from all main folders. TURN YOUR COMPASS INTO A SPIRIT LEVEL Load up the usual compass app and, once you’ve calibrated it, swipe right. The whole thing will turn into a highly accurate digital spirit level. FIND A SPECIFIC WORD ON A WEB PAGE Load the page you want in Safari and type the word you’re looking for in the search bar. Before hitting search, you’ll get a choice of Google…

Scott Laidler is one of the world’s leading personal trainers and nutritional experts. Throughout his career, he’s been the go-to fitness guru for TV personalities and Hollywood actors. Here’s Scott’s guide to going from scrawny to brawny… 01 NO PAIN, NO GAIN “I made huge gains on my biceps with massive overloads. That means really pushing yourself and your muscles until absolute failure. There was a point where I just had to stop training my arms because they were getting way too out of proportion with the rest of my body. It’s a sure-fire way to gain half an inch on your biceps within a month. You’re shocking your muscles into action.” 02 SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE “Bicep curls are ripe for bad form. A lot of people…