Esquire February 2014

Weird Men A celebration of the particular mix of quirkiness and charm that makes some men enjoyably weird. Not strange. Not funky, kooky, or creepy. Weird. PAGE 73 LIBERATION THROUGH PECULIARITY A manifesto. BY MIKE WHITE PAGE 74 WEIRD MEN: THE LIST The nonconformists, oddballs, and misfits we admire, including Christopher Walken, Nick Cave, Woody Harrelson, and so many more. PAGE 76 THE MULTIPLICITY OF MICHAEL KEATON Whether it was the villain, the super-hero, or the glib guy, Michael Keaton hated getting trapped in any type of role. And it probably cost him a fortune. BY TOM CHIARELLA PAGE 84 THE BIG LIFE OF A LITTLE MAN Danny DeVito is a colossus. BY SCOTT RAAB ON THE COVER: DANNY DEVITO PHOTOGRAPHED EXCLUSIVELY FOR ESQUIRE BY NIGEL PARRY. TYPE BY JAMES…

ADDITIONALLY … … A FEW WEIRD WOMEN To balance out all these weird men, a few women we find as strange as we do captivating: HELENA BONHAM CARTER. An Oscar-nominated actress who looks like a down-on-her-luck tarot-card reader. AUBREY PLAZA. Because you can tell her darkness is all shtick. Mostly, at least. AMY SEDARIS. She made Chelsea Handler feel uncomfortable. That takes a special personality. DORA THE EXPLORER. Seems a little young to be traveling with just a monkey. TILDA SWINTON. She's different-looking—thanks to the pallor, height, and haircut—something she immediately makes you forget. … SPEAKING OF COMICS This month's "The Year in Review" (page 120) features original jokes from some of our favorite comics. Which is as good a reason as any to highlight a new book from another…

Over breakfast at the Crosby Street Hotel in downtown Manhattan, Scott Raab talks to the director about 12 Years a Slave, "struggle," living in Amsterdam, other directors, and confrontation. McQueen just ordered a cappuccino and a croissant with blackberry jam. Scott Raab: I've read some pretty volatile interviews of yours. Steve McQueen: When you're passionate about something, it can be sort of misunderstood. But I like to have a debate; I like arguing, not because I'm disagreeing with someone, but because they might be right and I'll learn something. SR: To engage. SM: That's the word. The word is beautiful. To engage. And sometimes that can be misconstrued as confrontation. But I'm communicational, not confrontational. Too many people are scared to look stupid. And when they're scared to…

NO. 03 OTHER HUGE AND FACELESS THINGS The NSA • "The American People" • Apple • Francis Bacon portraits • Americans for Prosperity • Siri • Fannie Mae • Freddie Mac • Anonymous • the Cloud • winter storm Hercules, et al. NO. 04 Until it became too obvious, Kenny Chesney would have roadies smuggle him through the audience in a road case. This way he could start the show from the crowd and then fly onto the stage. Dan Reynolds is playing many of the same arenas right now, only he could probably escort himself to the third row undetected, share a beer or three with the guy sitting next to him, and start the show from there. Dan Reynolds is the frontman for Imagine Dragons, and as hard…

Romantic Commodity Pricing Throughout the Year There should be plenty, but none are springing to mind, so I'm going to give her cash again. I hope that's all right. You, however, should get her some expensive lingerie. While not staggeringly original, expensive lingerie has a long and cherished association with this holiday, and I wholeheartedly endorse it. Items should be made from quality fabric (silk is a clear winner) and cost upwards of what you consider way too much for that shit. (La Perla, Cosabella, and probably some other "la" brands are esteemed, but without a few crates delivered to me by press time, I couldn't say conclusively.) If you're really unsure, go to the store and ask the lady—a scenario some of my readers might remember from the '90s.…

THE RULES No. 87: Reconsider any itinerary that involves a shuttle bus. No. 99: The most withering slight is "weak tea." No. 143: A single ketchup packet is laughably insufficient for any application. No. 264: In a movie scene that shows an interior car shot focusing out the driver's-side window, there is a 100 percent chance that car is about to be involved in an accident. In these, the waning weeks before Jimmy Fallon—Jimmy Fallon!—takes over The Tonight Show, he had a moment. It wasn't one of his supremely viral moments, another one of his TV-made-for-the-Internet bits, of which he is the undisputed champion. He wasn't doing one of his spot-on impersonations—I might actually love his version of Neil Young more than I love Neil Young, and I love Neil…