DRUNK & DEAF
A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin on St Patrick’s Day. His car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
“So,” the cop says to the driver, “where have you been?”
“I’ve been to the pub,” the drunk slurs.
“Well,” the cop says, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” the cop asks, standing straight and folding his arms, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” the man sighs. “For a while there I thought I’d gone deaf.”
BIG IN TEXAS
A blind man decides to visit Texas. When he boards the Texan airliner, he feels the…