Innholdsfortegnelse for Apr-15 i Cosmopolitan

music nonfiction COSMO READS “Drop Everything and Read” Day is April 12. Get on it. WANT TO CURL UP WITH EXCERPTS FROM APRIL’S BEST BOOKS? DOWNLOAD THE TABLET EDITION AT MY.COSMOPOLITAN.COM. Tv ONE MORE THING TO DO! GET 86% OFF THE NEWSSTAND PRICE AT COSMOPOLITAN.COM/SUBSCRIBE…

It’s a family name.…

IGGY AZALEA On Twitter, responding to an Eminem lyric telling her not to “blow that rape whistle”: “I’m bored of the old men threatening young women as [an] entertainment trend and much more interested in the young-womengetting-$ trend. zzzz.” SHONDA RHIMES @Dabdelhakiem: “@ShondaRhimes The gay scenes in Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder are too much. There is no point and they add nothing to the plot.” @ShondaRhimes: “@Dabdelhakiem If you use the phrase ‘gay scenes,’ you are not only LATE to the party but also NOT INVITED to the party. Bye Felicia. #OneLove” LAUREN CONRAD Sway in the Morning caller question: “What’s your favorite position?” Lauren: “CEO.” LORDE @Diplo: “Someone should make a Kickstarter to get Taylor Swift a booty.” @LordeMusic: “@Diplo Should we do something about…

Tris Prior is usually the shortest person in any given room. The main character of Divergent is constantly referred to as “little girl,” despite the brave, adult things she does. As I wrote her story, I realized Tris Prior and I have something in common, which is that we are both immediately defined by body size—only I am almost a foot taller than she is. At six feet tall, I am seven inches taller than the average American woman. It comes with advantages: I can gain or lose five pounds without noticing, and no one has ever patted me on the head or called me cute. But there are disadvantages, too: never being able to disappear, no matter how much I hunch over; derisive comments from men who haven’t matured…

Q Florals are the epitome of spring, but they’re so cliché. What other prints would be fun for the warm seasons? —brigitte hong, 21 A I’m a huge fan of stripes year-round. there are also some incredible paisley prints right now, and mixing plaids can be fun. but don’t go too far because you’ll end up looking like bill murray, unless you want to look like bill murray—that’s not such a bad thing, because he’s cool as fuck. I FEEL LIKE FRINGE JACKETS HAVE FOUND A HOME IN FALL FASHION. HOWEVER, I WOULD LOVE TO WEAR ONE IN THE SPRING. WHAT WOULD MAKE IT SEASONALLY APPROPRIATE? —Ama Kwarteng, 19 A as somebody who has a phobia of wearing fringe for fear of looking like my father in the ’70s, I…

TOP IT OFF Glittery matte top coat hides chips and gives a days’ old mani a new look. Orly Matte Glitter Flakie Top Coat in Green, $10, orlybeauty.com WAVE LENGTH The key to surfer-girl strands: Saturate hair with this sea-inspired spray, then scrunch. Lea Journo Travel Size Sea Salt Spray, $10, nordstrom.com IT’S EYELECTRIC Easiest attention-getting tactic ever: Liven up lids with ultravibrant shadow. L’oréal Paris Eye Shadow Crayon by Infallible in Always Aqua, $8, drugstores BRUSH UP Dip this into your favorite BB or CC cream and buff your way to an airbrushed finish. Ecotools Skin Perfecting Brush, $8, ecotools.com MINT CONDITION A cute cube plus addictive mint scent makes this the balm. Softlips Cube in Fresh Mint, $3.50, drugstores LASH BUZZ Natural beeswax keeps lashes soft, never stiff.…

1 START WITH SOURDOUGH It won’t spike your blood sugar like white bread will, preventing that 3 p.m. crash. 2 SLICE YOUR OWN CHEESE Day-Glo American had a time and place—in your lunch box when you were 8. Whole, natural cheeses have conjugated linoleic acid to help build muscle. 3 SPRAY, DON’T SPREAD Spritz your pan with olive oil rather than butter. (The bread will still come out crispy.) SOURCE: DAWN JACKSON BLATNER, RD, AUTHOR OF THE FLEXITARIAN DIET 1 GOAT CHEESE, TURKEY, AND AVOCADO Spread 1 to 2 T goat cheese on bread, then top with ¼ sliced avocado and a few slices roasted turkey breast (ask at your deli counter for turkey cooked in-house). Spritz pan with olive oil spray, then grill sandwich over medium heat. 2 CHEDDAR,…

Hell, yes, you have time to exercise, says cosmobody trainer adam rosante, author of the new book the 30-Second body. do these moves at top speed for a minute each and see your six-pack by summer. 1. KNEES AND TOES Run in place, tapping hands to opposite knees, then hands to opposite feet. 2. Low Plank knees In forearm plank, lift hips as you drive right knee forward; return. Repeat on other side. 3. OBLIQUE HIGH KNEES With hands at chest, sprint in place, twisting elbows to touch opposite knees. 4. TABLE SAWS Sit with knees bent, feet fat, and hands behind you. lift hips, kick left foot up and reach right hand to touch it; return. Repeat on other side. 5. TUCK JUMPS With feet shoulderwidth apart, squat, then…

MY SOULCYCLE INSTRUCTOR stole my heart in our first class together. I clipped into the bike feeling like a stress case—my parents had split up, and while there was no bitter custody battle over me as a 32-year-old woman, three years later, I was still stuck in the middle. They couldn’t help but vent to me about their fights and not-sosubtly recommend I choose a side. I was trying—and failing—to please them both. Enter Nick Pratley, with his sexy Australian accent and sleek black pompadour. Midway through a slow, resistance-filled climb to Sia’s tear-jerking “Breathe Me,” Nick yelled passionately into his headset microphone: “Don’t apologize to anyone for being who you are! They should apologize for trying to make you change.” I choked back a sob. It was as if…

I like to hate-read wrenching cancer-scare stories, about how someone found a lump—but it wasn’t actually cancer, and the entire experience changed her forever! Now she eats kale salads and appreciates hummingbirds. Meanwhile, I’m rummaging around my desk at work, snifng out Twix bars like a trufe pig, when my doctor calls to tell me I have two tumors on my liver. The disease I thought was gone for good nearly two years ago is back. I fee to the ofce conference room, call my mom, and sob for about 15 minutes. Then I return to my to-do list. Okay. I have cancer. I need chemo. And I really need that Twix bar. I have hepatoblastoma, a type of liver cancer (it has nothing to do with alcohol intake, although…

Our big takeaway from all this research? Experience informs perception. When people see something for themselves or hear about it from a close friend, they’re more sensitive to it. More women than men report being sexually assaulted, thus more women know how serious an issue sexual assault is. Then it’s troubling but not shocking that more women than men think a woman who accuses a man of sexual assault or rape should be believed. Translation? If you live someplace it doesn’t snow, you’re not really going to relate when someone says they got caught in a blizzard; you don’t have any frame of reference. So how do we bridge this gap? We talk about it. When we asked, have you ever talked to members of the opposite sex about issues…

/THE THROWBACK/: GLOSSY LIPS WEAR IT NOW Back in the day, you’d never leave home without a goopy gloss tube (stickyhair sitch be damned!). Today, pout-plumping shine is windy-day approved. Just line and fill lips with a nude crayon, and top with matching oilbased gloss. Our fave: YSL Volupté Tint-in-Oil, $32. /THE THROWBACK/: FACE ART WEAR IT NOW Music-festival mania has made celestial stickers chic. Simply peel and stick them to the tops of your cheekbones, or ink your own with Revlon PhotoReady Kajal Matte Eye Pencil in Matte Coal, $9. (Set with translucent powder.) MODEL HAILEY CLAUSON’S ’ 90S ICON? KATE MOSS. “ SHE’S EFFORTLESSLY ROCK-’N’-ROLL.” /THE THROWBACK/: SCRUN CHIES WEAR IT NOW A stack of pony poufs is the hair equivalent of wearing cool-girl layers. Texturize roots with…

Ready, Set, O! HAVING AN ORGASM IS MORE LIKE A MARATHON THAN A SPRINT— but for many women, it’s uphill terrain. Women outearn men in 40 percent of American households. But when it comes to orgasms, we’re still the underdogs, according to cosmopolitan’s national survey of 2,300 women ages 18 to 40. Dishearteningly, only 57 percent of women have orgasms most or every time they have sex with a partner, while 95 percent say their partner does. a substantial 42 percent of women revealed that the last time they had sex, their partner had an orgasm but they didn’t, and 72 percent have had a partner climax before them but not make an attempt to help them finish. “We still prioritize men’s orgasms,” says Debby Herbenick, PhD, director of Indiana…

SEX O’CLOCK NEWS: HOW DO MOST OF YOUR ORGASMS HAPPEN? 39% masturbating with my hand or sex toy 20% vaginal intercoursewith extra clitoral stimulation THE MOTHER OF THE G-SPOT TURNED TO COSMOPOLITAN TO CLEAR UP THE DEBATE ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE. When sex researcher Beverly Whipple, PhD, introduced the G-spot (that two-inch area two inches inside the front wall of the vagina that’s said to be linked to female ejaculation and orgasm) to the public in her 1982 book The G Spot: And Other discoveries About Human Sexuality, madness ensued. For decades, researchers argued it doesn’t exist. A 2012 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine concluded there is no distinct body part, like an arm or a spleen, that makes up the G-spot. Another study argued “the vagina has no…

CARLY AQUILINO “I didn’t have an orgasm from sex until I was 23. Apparently, when I have an orgasm, I look like there’s an exorcism taking place. My boyfriend first thought I was having a seizure.” JAMIE LEE “Orgasms are awesome because for a brief moment, you’re not thinking about Instagram or how somebody was rude to you. It is like meditation but for your vagina! Clear minds, full orgasms, can’t lose!” NICOLE BYER “Say something if you don’t orgasm. It’s like you took a cross-country road trip and he left you in the Midwest. Make it to the coast and go to a beach!” NORA “AWKWAFINA” LUM “In 6th grade, a friend told me she had an orgasm via a kirby cucumber. I couldn’t find kirbys at my fruit…

Researchers at Temple university and kenyon college studied why women fake orgasms and found a highly cited reason that might boggle your mind. When women pretended to get off, some did it to turn themselves on and increase the intensity of sex. so even more often than we fake it in order to go the f*ck to sleep, we’re faking O’s…to try to have them. The study calls this “selffocused” behavior— it’s not about appeasing your partner, it’s about making sex better for you. so despite what you hear at brunch about how faking ruins sex for all women, sometimes we’re just looking out for our own damn O.…

Q My new hookup really wants me to touch his butt during sex. Does that mean he’s secretly gay? A “Being gay is way more than one sexual act,” says sex therapist Anna Randall. (Rather, it’s a sexual identity.) It’s not uncommon for men of all orientations to be curious or even butt-crazy (sorry) about anal pleasure in their sex lives. Makes sense, as there are a lot of very pleasurable nerve endings in that region. If you’re open to it, try gently stroking around the opening during a BJ or HJ. Ask him to coach you through it, suggests Randall. Maybe it’ll end up being a new item on both your sexual menus. Q I’m super horny and cruising Tinder like a madwoman before my period. What’s going on?…

KATNISS NEVER-DEEN A DISNEY PRINCESS Maybe he’s got the hots for Ariel (he’s the knight-inshining-armor type) or Elsa (he’s too young). Regardless, the risk of man-child syndrome runs high. DAENERYS TARGARYEN This Game of Thrones badass has legions of followers at her feet. Feel very free to be the boss in this relationship. In other words, spank him when he’s bad. HERMIONE GRANGER Hermione fanboys tend to fall into two camps: sensitive braniacs (win!) or cradlerobbing creeps (fail). Can we get a Sorting Hat over here? OLIVIA POPE Anyone who keeps a regular Thursdaynight Scandal date with Ms. Pope has a penchant for drama. But in his fantasy, he’s competing with the President. Translation? Swag to spare. sixty-one PERCENT OF GUYS BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT—EVEN WITHOUT BEER GOGGLES!…

Guest-edited by SHERYL SANDBERG COO of Facebook and founder of LeanIn.org MEN WANTED WHEN I WENT TO COLLEGE, my parents told me to focus on my schoolwork— and on getting married. “You will be surrounded by the smartest men you may ever meet,” they said, “and remember, the good ones go young.” I believed them. I analyzed all my potential dates as possible husbands. I even had a poster in my dorm room that read, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.” I’m amazed that anyone was willing to kiss me under that ridiculous poster. I got married at 24. By 25, I was divorced. For years, I felt like I was wearing a scarlet letter “D.” I was worried—that no one would want…

Why did the Mayans go extinct? How could Amy Poehler and Will Arnett break up? Can men and women be friends? We can now answer one of these eternal questions: While you can have opposite-sex friends, the same can’t always be said for him. “Men tend to misperceive friendliness as sexual or romantic interest,” says Elsesser. In a 2012 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, men were more likely to report an attraction to their platonic female friends than vice versa and to assume that those romantic feelings were mutual, a woefully misguided belief. Send the message that you’re not interested at the outset. If you have a partner, introduce him around the office. If you still get a flirty vibe, say: “I’m sure you’re joking around,…

WILLIE GEIST Cohost on NBC’s Today and MSNBC’s Morning Joe “I’ve never felt the need to tiptoe around women in the office. I extend to them the same respect, expectations, and bad jokes that I do my male colleagues. “One secret to the success of my marriage is that my wife and I agreed not to ‘keep score.’ It’s never ‘I did this, so you do that.’ A better rule is to respect your partner, pick her up when she’s had a tough day, share responsibility, and agree to watch The Bachelor even as it slowly eats away at your soul.” Curtis Stone Chef/OWner Of Maude In Beverly hIlls “The book brings up a good point that we should label women by their achievements, not their gender. When I think…

The first rule of decluttering: You have to get rid of things in order to get organized. Marie Kondo, the Martha Stewart of Japan and author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, has helped thousands of people work through the heartwrenching process of deciding what to keep and what to toss. (The struggle is real.) Here are six questions to ask yourself. Does this spark joy? Why do I have this item? Am I keeping this just because? Do I want to see this again? Do I want to see this again? Has this outlived its purpose?…

1 You just baked that zucchini Gruyère casserole you saw on pinterest and—oh, no! —you shatter the dish on the floor. You: a Shrug, plop down on the sofa, and binge-watch The Affair. You’ll clean it up later. b Take a minute to calm down, self-soothe with Ujjayi breaths, then call Wok Express. C Collapse into the fetal position on the floor, wailing “Why must I break all the things?!” 2 Your ideal me-time would involve: a Mac and cheese followed by The Bachelorette. b Brunch, barre class, and grocery shopping for the week. c Sleeping. Anywhere. Please just let me sleep. 3 Your sex life is: a A rotating door of men. Literally just a blur of pecs. Haaaay! b The infrequent but vivacious Tinder date. c Oh god,…

Keeping Up With Kylie tweets we love @TabbLove The little girl I babysit and I get along pretty well. When I get here she says, “Hey, I’ll watch Netfix and you read your Cosmo.” She’s 5. @QueenOfWinterr Apparently I just graduated from Kink Academy with a PhD in leather-strap lingerie and a minor in nipple embellishment. Thanks, Cosmo LETTER OF THE MONTH “I’ve been pleased in the past few months because I’ve noticed you guys have been including LGBTQ topics. You guys are making a huge impact on all your LGBTQ readers’ lives, especially with Abigail Pesta’s article ‘Love Cost Us Our Jobs.’ I have never been more proud to be a Cosmo fan!” —AMANDA JOHNSON, 21, ATLANTA CORRECTION On page 206 of the February issue, the author of the…

1 “I was rehearsing for a dance while wearing a friend’s skinny jeans, not realizing the pants had slid down my butt! Major plumber’s crack.” —TAUREAN H., 25, actor and writer, from Allen, TX “I WANTED TO CRY.” —NATHALIE L., 19, student, from Rancho Cucamonga, CA “He looked like he was making out with your cheek.” —EMILY l., 18, student, from Rancho Cucamonga, CA 2 “She witnessed my first kiss and told people about it!” 3 “I work for my school’s football team. I went to drop off cupcakes for the guys thinking the locker room was empty, but they were there, naked. They were all staring at me. I turned so red.” —LEILA A., 21, student, from Matawan, NJ DON’T MISS NEXT MONTH’S CONFESSIONS, ON SALE APRIL 14. [No.…

WELL, HELLO “I’m a notorious late-night texter. I seem to use a lot of lip, heart, and tongue emoji. But I think the call is always better— especially now with everyone only texting, a call can be quite exciting. I might be wrong though. Maybe people don’t want me to call them!” GIRL WALKS INTO A BAR “If she orders a scotch, that’s really impressive. That’s going to get her a date. But if I’m on a beach, even I’ll go for something with coconut water or an umbrella.” FOREIGN RELATIONS “British women can be slightly more reserved, Scottish are a little more crazy and fun, and American are more forthright, which I really enjoy. I haven’t met enough American women. I think we need to rectify that.” who are…

No matter what you look like, it’s easy to feel like this. I MEAN NO OFFENSE to Karlie or Cara when I say, I wouldn’t want to be your friend. I’m sure they’re delightful. It’s just that I’d always feel like the Judy Greer to their Jennifer Garner, Katherine Heigl, or J.Lo. If you ask most women what they look for in a new friend, they’ll likely describe someone down-to-earth, funny, and who they can be themselves in front of. That’s only part of the story. Just like attractiveness plays a part in romantic relationships, research suggests it also plays a part in friendships—even if most of us are unaware or unwilling to admit it. According to a study of college-age women in the journal Human Nature, women tend to…

FUN, FEARLESS FINDS LOVE THIS SKIRT? FOR THE CHANCE TO WIN A MISSGUIDED GIFT CODE WORTH $100, GO TO COSMOPOLITAN.COM/MISSGUIDED…

CHILL STATE Buff away your acne drama. Olay Acne Hater Deep Scrub, $6.99, drugstores REPEAT BREAKOUTS can seem like a mystery. In the search for answers, Western derms— armed with their prescription pads—are increasingly taking a holistic approach. “We’re reading the skin for clues about what’s going on inside the body,” explains Ellen Marmur, MD, founder of Marmur Medical and associate clinical professor of dermatology at Mount Sinai Medical Center in NYC. This new age view is actually really old: Traditional Chinese medicine has been using the face as a diagnostic tool for centuries. “It’s a science of observation, where parts of the face correspond to different internal organs, similar to foot reflexology,” explains Lillian Pearl Bridges, author of Face Reading in Chinese Medicine. Our zonefocused guide reveals the internal…

A PERFECT MASH-UP Upstage everyone at Coachella with MaC’s colorful new collab with DJ Mia Moretti. infused with the spirit of the famous music fest and its sunny palm Springs locale, the collection includes a lip palette inspired by poolside lounging, burnished cheek colors reminiscent of the desert landscape, a dreamy tote and makeup bag, and Moretti’s favorite onstage beauty essential: a vampy red lip color. “it’s both glamorous and wearable—perfect for the festival circuit,” she notes. Swipe it on and grab a flower crown! MAKEUP MIXOLOGY This pure pigment formula blends with any skincare product—moisturizer, serum, sunscreen, even eye cream—for customizable coverage. So play mad scientist: Add one drop for a sheer tint, or bump it up to four when your skin needs more TLC. Cover FX Custom Cover…

SOURCE: EMILY HARRISON, ASSISTANT RUNNING COACH AT MCMILLAN RUNNING COMPANY AND RUNNER FOR NIKE TRAIL TEAM DRESS RIGHT A waterproof jacket, thin socks, and a reflective hat keep you dry and visible. Wear only one earbud so you can hear what you can’t see through the fog. PREP SMART Lay out dry clothes to change into afterward (if you’re not showering immediately postrun) to keep your body temp up and out of sick-y territory. HAVE FUN Go at a slow pace so you can sidestep puddles and uneven terrain. Enjoy not worrying about time and embrace getting wet— channel a kid in a sprinkler.…

Introduce Yourself Say “hi” before class and “thanks” after. Don’t be intimidated by an eightpack. Your instructor wants to meet you and cheer you on by name (“You can do it, Michelle, you sexy bitch!”). Share Your Goals Prepping for a big event? Kickboxing your way through a breakup? Tell your teacher what your intentions are—she’ll personalize her coaching to help you reach them. Follow Her On Twitter… …and Facebook and Instagram. You’ll have easy access to her schedule, and inspirational posts—“The world is your goddamn oyster!”—will boost your motivation. SOURCE: ASTRID SWAN MCGUIRE, COSMOBODY TRAINER AND BARRY’S BOOTCAMP MASTER INSTRUCTOR IN LOS ANGELES…

DO SAY “Wow. that sucks.” It does. A lot. Let’s commiserate over cider! DON’T SAY “I’m sorry.” I never know how to reply and end up reassuring people my cancer is not their fault. Also, it’s the number one way to bring down the vibe. DO ASK “Have I told you about the three guys i’m dating?” I think about cancer 24/7. Distract me! DON’T SAY “My boyfriend’s brother’s cat’s aunt has pancreatic cancer, so...” Is this supposed to be comforting? Unless your boyfriend’s brother’s cat’s aunt is actually a 25-year-old girl with hepatoblastoma, please refrain. DON’T ASK “What do you need?” This is thoughtful but vague. I don’t even know what I need, and I don’t want to ask too much. Your liver, I guess? DO ASK “Want me…

“I HOPE YOU’RE GOOD AT BEER PONG,” says my Uber driver when I tell him I’m headed to Del Playa, a beachside strip of student housing in Isla Vista, California—home to the University of California at Santa Barbara. It’s Saturday night, and I’ve come to one of the top-five party schools in America to talk to students about sex. California recently passed a controversial bill, sometimes called the “yes means yes” law, that makes affirmative consent the standard for student sex. It means that colleges whose students receive state financial aid—pretty much all higher-ed institutions in the state—will have to amend their code of conduct so that for sex to be considered consensual, both parties have to indicate an unambiguous yes. Consent could be anything from answering “definitely” when someone…

“YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR JEANS IS PERSONAL, BE PROMISCUOUS, TRY THEM ALL.” beauty tip To hide chipped tips, layer a bright polish (like Sally Hansen Salon Complete Manicure in Water Color, $8) over a week-old mani. SIMONE SAYS OF LOVE AND SALAD BARS “People always ask, ‘What’s your type?’ Everyone’s unique. It’s not like a salad place, where they give you a selection of lettuces, and you’re like, ‘Well, I only like kale!’ You don’t just get to pick all the boxes and put in your order and this guy pops out. You just have to let go, be open.” DATING IS WACK “I’ve never been on a date. Really. The idea that I’m just going to be like, ‘Hmm…I’m gonna audition some men over some food.’ It feels so…

MUCH LIKE WITH STAND-UP, in the bedroom, I had beginner’s luck that gave me a false impression of my abilities. In college, I hooked up with a woman who lost her shit at my slightest touch. How could I not think I was truly the gangster of love? Alas, other women didn’t experience complete particle reversal by simply having me blow in their ear. It got worse. Much worse. “JUST FINISH. I wasn’t going to come anyway...” has to be the most soul-crushing thing I’ve ever had a woman tell me. Not only did I feel horribly inadequate, but I also felt like a knuckle-dragging cretin. I was inside her, for pete’s sake! Why weren’t the women I bedded immediately spasming in ecstasy? I mean, didn’t I put my sex…

Clitoral A go-to O for many, thanks to the clit’s 8,000 sensory nerve endings. If orgasms were friends, clitoral is your maid of honor. Vaginal The more rare yet doable O makes some women report full-body tingles, according to research. Schwing! Blended The swirl fro-yo of orgasms: Stimulating your clit and vagina triggers more of your brain, resulting in more pleasure. Multiple Not just for porn stars: 80% of women have had more than one O during a sex session (counting foreplay). Sleepgasm 65% of women climax while asleep, due to blood flow to their Hope Diamond. Good night, indeed. Simultaneous Orgasm Orgasm Highly sought-after; usually happens when one partner has the impressive ability to control his/her O while the other catches up. Tomatogasm You say tomatogasm, we say to-mahto-gasm.…

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My BF and I have a great relationship, but he and my BFF have amazing chemistry—they agree on politics, read the same books, have the same witty sense of humor. I know I’m supposed to be happy they get along so well, but I still feel jealous. help. A Nobody wants to feel like the third wheel in her own relationship. But remember that he chooses to be with you—not her. And that’s probably because you’re not exactly like him. Your boyfriend and friend might agree on politics and books—that’s not so rare. But the spark that really turns us on and makes us want to date someone? That’s more mysterious, and more important, it’s the difference between a friend and a lover. Q a guy I went on a…

LAND MINE YOUR OPTIONS ARE MEN WHO ONLY MENTOR OTHER MEN. DODGE IT: “you can earn the trust of a male superior,” says sylvia ann hewlett, phd, founder and ceo of the center for talent innovation. to attract a sponsor, she says, understand that it’s not all about you. your job is to deliver results and display a great work ethic so, in turn, your sponsor can pass golden opportunities your way.” LAND MINE HE’S VERY BUSY AND VERY INTIMIDATING. DODGE IT: asking someone pointblank to sponsor you rarely works. he doesn’t care why you want him to mentor you...but he probably would like sharing advice on something he knows. go in prepared. maybe note that he has a large client list and say you would love suggestions on how…

All local everything In these times, we crave the farm-to-table ethos, but farmers’ markets can be intimidating. What do you buy—and then how do you cook it? Yotam Ottolenghi, chef and author of Plenty More, drops his knowledge (and recipes) for making the most of your market shopping trip. 1. Hit the ATM Most vendors take only cash, so grab some bills (small ones if you can) before you head to the market. That cashola acts as a budget you can stick to. 2. Ditch the Shopping List You never know what will show up at the market, so stay open and don’t bother with a plan. Being spontaneous is part of the fun, so embrace it. BONUS RECIPE instant Salad idea! Chop herbs. Add lemon juice, garlic, and couscous.…

ARIES/ 03.21–04.20 STELLAR GIFTS You go for what you want and don’t look back! BLIND SPOTS Your take-charge attitude can leave others in the dust. FASHION FAVES Sporty styles suit your active life and killer instincts. INDULGENCE Nothing makes you happier than outmaneuvering anyone standing in your way. SEDUCTION STYLE When someone catches your eye, you don’t beat around the bush—you go big and then go home, together! THIS MONTH During the lunar eclipse on the 4th, your mind and heart are focused on strengthening your relationships. Things intensify even more after the 11th, when your social life goes into overdrive. While out and about, you may encounter an old flame. Be prepared for the heat. On the 20th, you could have a career breakthrough, when everything comes into sharper…

Get ready for spring with these hot finds, then visit cosmopromo.com to enter for your chance to WIN A $500 SHOPPING SPREE! TRY THE NEW NIVEA IN-SHOWER BODY LOTIONS! You can now conveniently moisturize your skin while in the shower! NIVEA In-Shower Body Lotions moisturize your skin instantly, without the sticky feel. Find them in the Body Lotion aisle! Get your free sample* at niveausa.com *While supplies last NEW! MILANI FIERCE FOIL EYESHINE This isn’t a shadow, it’s a shine. Formulated with exclusive, multidimensional pearlescence, this extraordinary eye-enhancing, creamy gloss is truly a game changer. Try it! It’s that different! milanicosmetics.com NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Cosmopolitan’s Spring Spotlight Sweepstakes. Sponsored by Hearst Communications, Inc. Beginning March 10, 2015 at 12:01 AM (ET) through April 13, 2015 at…

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK OF COSMO AND YOU COULD WIN $5,000! What do you love? What would you change? Take our super-quick online survey and boom—you’ll be automatically entered for a chance to win $5,000. Hello, new wardrobe, dream vacay, or paid-off credit card! We can’t wait to hear from you. Visit Aprilsurvey .Cosmopolitan.com to get started. I Love Working with men, which is funny considering that we’re mostly women here at Cosmo (with a few lucky guys thrown in for good measure). I’ve had great experiences and enormous support from male bosses and colleagues who have helped shape my career. That’s why I particularly like Sheryl Sandberg’s contribution this month as our Cosmo Careers editor. Her section highlights how too often when we talk about our lives at…

“He asked if i’d ever considered plastic surgery because i ‘would look great with a boob job.’” —KIM A., 25 “On a first date with a guy i met online, he told me we would be having three children, one every 18 months, and not to worry because he will get me a nanny…all over appetizers and wine.” —MARIA C., 27 “He chose an expensive bar, and when the check came, he only threw down $20, which barely even covered the tip, then looked at me and said, ‘you have a better job, so you’ve got the rest, right?’” —CARMEN B., 25 “my friend and i were supposed to go on a double date. one guy showed up and said that his friend wasn’t coming and then asked how much…

1 Go Matchy Matchy We swear that wearing the same shade all over is actually super-flattering. (the previous page is proof!) the key? Soft washes of color—a light dusting over the lids and lips will do the trick. 2 Make it Matte A velvet finish intensifies softer hues, creating a statement. to avoid dry lids (a not-so-sexy side effect of matte textures), dab on a lightweight shadow primer first, says david Birdwell, Jane Cosmetics global director of creative artistry and education. 3 Keep it Edgy Make robin’s egg blue or mint green cool by adding black. try spiky, jet-black lashes against a backdrop of pale shadow, or stack a thin pastel line above your usual inky liner.…

GET YOUR GLOW ON Perk up your face with bronzer, and tone your bod with an instant self-tanner. Jergens Natural Glow Instant Sun Sunless Tanning Mousse, $12, drugstores Physicians Formula Argan Wear Ultra-Nourishing Argan Oil Bronzer, $15, drugstores Cabana Cocktail Instead of a boring piña colada, stir things up with a new riff on the tiki bar classic Blue Hawaiian—just add your own mini umbrella. sumthin’ Blue 1½ oz. Blue Chair Bay White Rum ½ oz. Blue Curaçao 1 oz. white cranberry juice (or white grape juice) Directions: Shake ingredients with ice in a cocktail shaker. Strain into a chilled martini glass—strawberry slice garnish, optional. CRUISE CONTROL Transport your toes with crystal blues inspired by the Gulf of Mexico. Essie Nail Polish in Blossom Dandy (top) and Garden Variety, $8.50…

THE SKINNY 1 SHINE AGAIN Translucency is likely your biggest issue, says Lieve Declercq, MD, vice president, basic science research, for Origins. Her research points to carbonylation (a process that can begin in your early 20s), which stiffens skin proteins, clouding up the surface, as the issue. The brand’s new serum (left), made with exfoliating Canadian willow herb, sloughs these carbonyl proteins and prevents new ones from forming. 2 Smooth the Surface You see visible effects of UV damage 20 years after it occurs, says derm Patricia Wexler, MD. So that burn from age 7 may show up at age 27—likely in the form of large pores (the sun zaps elasticity, which props up pore walls). Daily salicylic acid (in the gel above) will prevent clogs and whiteheads. 3 Put…

SOURCE: KEVIN KIRBY, DPM, A PODIATRIST IN SACRAMENTO, AND HOUSTON-BASED PODIATRIST KIRK KOEPSELF, DPM …THE HEEL What it Means: Your stride is too long. Why it Matters: Heelstriking with feet out in front sends extra shock waves up legs, leading to shin splints, hip and knee pain, or plantar fasciitis. What to do: Take shorter steps by quickening your cadence (how often each foot touches down). …THE BIG TOE What it Means: Your calves are extra tight! Why it Matters: Ankle tendons overcompensate for stiff calves, lifting toes. You could lose a toenail (yikes). What to do: Stretch! Do one minute per side, three times daily and postexercise. …THE INNER SOLE What it Means: Your feet roll inward (aka overpronating). Why it Matters: This can cause pain and problems in…

GIRL-ON-TOP Get on all fours, wrists under shoulders and knees under hips. 1 Extend right leg behind you, pointing toe toward ceiling. 2 Pause, then bend right knee, bringing leg outside right elbow. That’s one rep; do 10, then switch sides to complete set. Do three sets. MORE ABS? Do this move from plank instead of all fours to increase the diffculty. SEXY BRIDGE Lie faceup with hands at sides, knees bent, and feet flat on the floor. Lift hips to make a line from knees to shoulders. Squeezing your abs and butt, pulse knees out and in. Do 30 pulses. That’s one set; do three. GO FREESTYLE Instead of pulsing horizontally, on the second set, take it vertical, thrusting your butt up a few inches and then down. you’ll…

WE WERE CURIOUS. DO MEN AND WOMEN AGREE ON THE BASICS OF WHAT’S OKAY AND WHAT’S NOT OKAY WHEN IT COMES TO HOW WE RELATE TO ONE ANOTHER IN PUBLIC AND IN PRIVATE? WHAT DO WE AGREE ON AND WHAT DO WE PERCEIVE TOTALLY DIFFERENTLY? TO FIND OUT, WE PARTNERED WITH ESQUIRE (AND THE STAT GURUS AT SURVEYMONKEY) TO ASK 2,000 MEN AND WOMEN WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING FROM SEX ON THE FIRST DATE TO THE DANGERS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT. THE GOOD NEWS: FOR THE MOST PART, WE INTERPRET THE SEXUALITY RORSCHACH SIMILARLY, BUT IN SOME SITUATIONS, THE MALE PERSPECTIVE WILL HAVE YOU SHAKING YOUR HEAD…OR STARTING A CONVERSATION. DATING SHOCKER ALERT Men are more likely than women are to think a first or second date will lead to…

“LET ME JUST STUFF MY PHONE IN MY BRA, AND WE’RE READY!” Hilary Duff says, adjusting her boobs. iPhone secure, she leads me out of her Beverly Hills home into its backyard and through a secret gate that opens directly into a park, the starting point of our hike. Duff is on the move. It’s been a decade since her hit Disney series Lizzie McGuire wrapped. On March 31, she returns to your regularly scheduled programming in TV Land’s Younger, created by Sex and the City’s Darren Star. Those expecting a G-rated Duff need not look here. Her character, Kelsey, dater of douche bags and teller of masturbation jokes, is less Lizzie, more Liz McG—Lizzie’s postcollegiate, corporate ladder-climbing alter ego. “Maybe she parties too much,” Duff says. “She’ll go out,…

AFTER FIVE YEARS together, my husband, Darren*, and I are as deeply in love as when we first met through mutual friends in New York City. We share values about virtually everything that matters to us: politics, art, passion for our jobs, and not least of all, the need for non-monogamy. By the time we hooked up for the first time, one sunny June day on a wooden deck after a long swim to a tiny island in the middle of a private lake in the Adirondacks, we both knew monogamy didn’t work for us. I had just ended my second unsuccessful attempt at an exclusive relationship and promised myself to never promise monogamy to anyone ever again. He, on the other hand, had had nothing but open relationships for…

HOW TO HAVE AN ORGASM 1. DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF to masturbating while lying on your back in bed just because that’s how women do it in movies. If you had your first o grinding on a couch cushion (as many of you told us you did!), flip over and get down with a down pillow. 2. BE A TEASE. Bring yourself close to o in your go-to style (clitoral stroking, after a glass of sauv blanc?), stop, and start again. Big suspense = bigger orgasm. 3. BORED OF USING THE SAME PORN/VIBE/POSITION every time? try a masturbation cleanse. Going back to basics (no props or porn) can make for a powerful o. 4. YAY FOR KEGELS! the vaginal-clenching exercises can lead to stronger orgasms and serve as training for the…

It feels hard to address this without saying something offensive to men, like they consider female orgasms to be some elusive phenomenon no mortal man should be expected to master. I’ve had straight friends tell me that they would tell their man what they want, but they’re nervous about making him feel bad. That needs to stop. It’s possible lesbians are better at saying, “do it this way.” but oral sex, fingers, toys, role-play: It’s all stuff available to every gender and sexuality. (Although studies do show lesbians are more likely to have oral sex and use vibrators, so there’s one clue.) It might be hot to fantasize that your partner just senses what you need, but that’s just a fantasy. So speak up. There’s nothing sexier than someone whispering…

I used to fake it. since I started having sex, I’ve probably faked it more than I’ve eaten sandwiches. if you could win an Academy Award for faking it, I was Meryl streep in the mid-’80s. My friends would yell at me when I’d discuss my latest critically acclaimed performance. But, unlike me, they were all in serious relationships. it takes some pretty specific maneuvers to get me there, and I was afraid guys I was casually dating would think that was weird. What do you do when some poor guy you’re on a second date with has been going down on you for 45 minutes and it’s just not gonna happen? Tap him on the head and be like, “hey, time’s up, i guess you’re not a real man…

OF LIKES AND MEN HE’S BORED WITH A LAPTOP He: Hearts a photo of your cauliflower salad on Instagram. What it means: He’s admiring your use of the Walden filter. He: Chimes in on an epic debate about fracking in your Facebook comments. What it means: Sorry, girl. He’s probably just argumentative. He: Added you on Snapchat. What it means: Chance of relationship? Slim. Chance of getting a dick pic? Within five seconds. He: Retweets a dumb joke of yours with a cryinglaughing emoji. What it means: He’s totally into you. He: Comments encouragingly on a lonely status update you made about a crazy work project. What it means: Love him or he’ll die. <3 YOUR FEED IS HIS EVERYTHING…

On top of flex time, free on-site gyms, and pet insurance coverage, the company offers mindfulness programming. Reminders from an app encourage people to pause and breathe or step away from their desks. Employees who are caretakers can use the biotechnology company’s backup-care program, which provides access to trained in-home elder or adult care in a pinch. Employees can work a compressed week (full-time schedule, fewer days), a reduced workweek (fewer hours than regular full-time), flextime (staggered hours), flex-place (telecommuting), or do a job share (one position between two people). For parents, the tech giant offers fully paid maternity and paternity leave, mentoring with other parents, and $500 for things like ordering takeout in the weeks following childbirth. Workers can take a travel sabbatical and volunteer in immersion programs, which…

GAME PLAN Sports Talk I’m not into it. It’s fine if you think March Madness is caused by long winters. Study up a little with sporty friends, if you want, and look for ways to steer work convos to neutral turf. I’m an armchair commentator. “Sports talk tends to become comp etition for men,” says Elsesser. Weigh in on LeBron vs. MJ, but know that the debate may not net you friendship. TV Shows I’m a loyal viewer. “Take note of the topics that bring your male coworkers together,” says Elsesser. Have strong opinions on Don Draper too? Get in there. I’m a total cord cutter. “All coworkers have their work in common,” says Elsesser. Giving people helpful tips on coworkers can increase bonds, so go tell Jim that Tina…

FACING MY CLOSET each morning made me anxious. Getting dressed was like sorting through the clearance rack—a chaotic mix of sparkly knits, tee shirts, and denim. Once, I got knocked out by one of my own shoes. I swear I’m not a shopaholic. I just bought things, and they added up. Literally. I felt sick as I tallied the small fortune of items—from my prized Miu Miu bag perched on the shelf to the H&M impulse buys that were everywhere (how many iPhone cases does a girl need?)—when regret and shopping-shame set in. I was stuffocating. I’m not alone, says James Wallman, author of the recent book Stuffocation (a term he coined). “We have more possessions than we can cope with or continue to afford, and it’s not necessarily making…