Honorable Mentions
“Traffic’s moderate today,” said my deodorant.
—Alex Nelson, via email
Watch ad to continue this shower.
—@sam.hologram, via Instagram
My hands wash themselves every hour.
—Dave Fox, via email
Now I smell like the metaverse.
—@nostalgicbookishness, via Instagram
Bath bubbles beget baby parallel universes.
—Mike Hobbs, via email
Dry shampoo was just the beginning.
—Emma Anderson, via Facebook
OK Google, it’s time to wipe.
—Tim McCune, via email
They clean you while you sleep.
—Pien van der Ploeg, via Facebook
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