Innholdsfortegnelse for October 2025 i Psychologies

“There’s nothing like talking to a psychologist about using your phone too much to realise just how much you’re using your phone. So after months of talking about it, I’ve bitten the bullet and I’m going dumb. Yes, I’ve hooked myself up with an old-school flip phone, and relegated the smartphone to the desk drawer for emergencies (like when I’m heading out to town for the day and really do need the internet and maps…) So far it’s not driven me mad, but we’ll see how it goes. We’re unashamedly anti-tech this month, and all about letting go of the screens and living in the real world. So enjoy the feel of this lovely paper between your fingers and get stuck in! Happy reading !…

Stand strong through the seasons As I was looking through my camera reel, I came across two pictures in the same place in my local park, one taken in winter and the other in summer. I thought how different but beautiful they both looked. This made me think of Harriet Minter’s article about our connection with the seasons which inspired some reflection. When everything is going how we would like it to, we feel at our peak and full of life like a tree standing tall in full bloom at the height of summer. Just like that tree will eventually be exposed to the harsh winter elements, we too will inevitably encounter life’s challenges leaving us feeling weathered and worn down. As winter hits, the trees stand bare and the…

From the moment Jill arrived for our coaching session, I could see she wasn’t okay. She looked washed out and sad. Even her trademark jingly jangly silver bangles were missing from her wrist. She got straight to the point: ‘I know I left the last session full of courage and resolve but you don’t need to be a mind-reader to see where I am today. I’m still in the marriage and it looks like I will be for some time yet. My husband remains devastated. My in-laws remain furious with me and so do my children. My friends have abandoned me. I thought I could leave in the face of their anger and judgement, but my courage has left me.’ Jill sat quietly, deep in thought. ‘I knew what I…

To quote Jane Austen, ‘There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends.’ I highly value my friendships and try to be a good and supportive friend in return. This particular friend had called me in the week, panicking about a work project, and asking if I could help her that weekend. I had things booked in but, hearing her overwhelm, moved them around and arranged to spend a good few hours together, getting it sorted. Even though I had been more than happy to help her, I was not happy about the last-minute change of plans. I felt grumpy about the assumption that I would disrupt the rest of my day and travel over to hers and as though my time and offer of…

But if, like me, and many other women, you would rather go to the dentist for some serious root-canal work than ask for a rise, all is not lost. Here we’ve spoken to three experts to find out when, how and what to ask for in salary negotiations — so you can feel confident asking for what you deserve. ‘Understanding how to ask for a pay rise is such an important skill,’ says life-direction coach Jessica Silva. ‘As a coach, it is something I often work with my clients on. And having been a senior manager in corporate, I have also been on the receiving end of such requests and seen how some people make it impossible to say no, and others miss the mark completely.’ ‘For women in particular,…

We’ve all had those days that just feel harder to handle, and often, they follow a rough night’s sleep. With insufficient rest, small problems suddenly feel overwhelming. You second-guess yourself more easily, your patience runs low, and your thoughts can turn inward and be unkind. It’s not just a bad mood or a stressful day. It’s the emotional toll of a tired brain trying to cope without enough sleep. Sleep shapes how we feel, think and connect. It influences our mood, memory, confidence, and even how we interpret social signals. When we’re sleep-deprived, the brain becomes more reactive, more prone to negativity, and less able to regulate emotions. Dr Allie Hare, consultant in sleep and Co-President of the British Sleep Society explains: ‘The brain’s threat-detection and emotion-processing centre is more…

Better sleep doesn’t come from a complete life overhaul. It starts with small, intentional changes that shape the conditions around your rest and bring your emotions, thoughts, and body back into sync. These simple, science-backed shifts work like reset buttons. Each one helps your body settle, your mind slow, and your nervous system release tension. Stack a few together and you’ll start to notice the difference. Get sunlight before 10am — without the sunnies Morning sunlight strongly anchors your internal body clock, signalling the start of the day and naturally elevating cortisol levels at the appropriate time. But if you wear your sunglasses the light doesn’t hit the receptors as well. So try to have 10–15 minutes outside, without sunglasses, and you’ll enjoy a significant boost in your energy levels…

Flying the nest? Not so fast... Almost a third of uni students are now opting to live at home rather than move away to study It’s an age-old ritual in late September: all the students packing up to be shipped off back to university. But it turns out that increasingly, home is where the heart is for undergraduates, with almost a third of 18-year-old freshers now living there during their degree. Figures from the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS) found that 30 per cent of those starting university in 2024-25 chose not to move into student accommodation. The trend is most common in London, where rents are high, and Scotland, which offers locals free tuition, with Glasgow Caledonian University having the highest rate in the country at 45 per…

I’ve done public speaking before, I remind myself. I’ve done my prep (and have the notes with me). Maybe these nerves are because I’m feeling a little fragile — it’s been a stressful year, marred with illness and disappointments and other things that have made me a little less sure of myself. Also, I know I get anxious before things like this, and today is no exception. Maybe you can relate: the nerves before the job interview, the choir performance, the unfamiliar social occasion. Or the worries we have when we’re faced with big life choices: moving house, changing career, starting a relationship. Things we know are, almost certainly, for the best — or even very much desired — but still make us fearful. On the train, I remind myself…

“The sunshine in London has meant long walks across the urban sprawl of the city. I’ve been visiting the great oak in Brockwell Park, following the ancient Thames Path in South London, and rediscovering my own neighbourhood by foot. I love walking as much as I love writing, and I’ve come to realise the two have a lot in common. Walking isn’t just about getting from one place to another. It’s about moving with intention, with curiosity, with openness to what the path might reveal. We can take pilgrimages in our own backyards without even knowing it. Outer journeys toward places in our environment that hold meaning for us. Writing, too, can become a kind of pilgrimage. It has its own twists and turns, its own pauses and surprises,…

Tess has managed her hours at school well, but she is weepy and small and tells me she is worried about not being with me at the weekend. Just before we head out to circus school, Emmie flings a book at Tess and furrows her brow. This often happens on a Thursday, the night before she must spend the weekend in another house, with a different parent. Emmie doesn’t know how to express her anxiety. Her words fail her, so her panic becomes hands and feet that lash out and hurt the person she loves the most. At last, after unravelling the panic, the hitting and the loving, we are sitting in the car. I am so tired my bones are aching and when I look in the rearview mirror…

‘You do not borrow your dignity from external sources, you own it. You live as your true self.’ From an early age, children worldwide are conditioned to identify with one group or another. That cultural conditioning almost always conveys the values of the parents or caregivers, turning what are clearly random circumstances of one’s birth into their destiny. This process is so deeply ingrained in our society that identifying with a group is not seen as optional. But not everyone feels this way. An ‘otrovert’ is the term I use for those who do not feel the obligation to merge their identities with others and who remain unaffiliated with any group, as we all were initially, when we entered this world. Being unable to adopt a group identity can have…

The TV doctor, who was launched into the public eye appearing on Love Island in 2018, says: ‘I made a change at that time though to remove things that were harmful for me. I stopped drinking for one and then I started putting things in my body that were helpful to my health, such as having a diverse diet that included proteins, carbohydrates, nutrients and plants. ‘When I started fuelling my body like that, everything changed. That’s not to say that what you eat can fix all of your problems or that by eating certain plants your depression goes away, but as part of broader health changes, it’s powerful.’ George, who previously was an NHS A&E doctor, says when he started out at medical school, he had ‘nowhere near the…

Now, yes, I know Hoffman’s character here was in fact an autistic savant, and this is very different from your typical autistic person. But it was the first I, my parents, their friends, and probably many people in the UK had ever heard of the condition. Fast forward a few years, and I remember a friend explaining more to me. Picture the scene: you ask someone to post a letter for you. It’s got the address on, and a stamp — you’re just asking them to pop it in the post box down the road on their way to get milk. They return four hours later, having caught two buses across town (and back) to hand deliver the letter to the house in question. It hadn’t crossed your mind that…

From the outside, sleep looks simple: eyes closed, body still. But inside, your body and brain are working overtime, running a highly coordinated programme of repair and recalibration. While you’re sleeping, immune cells are patrolling your bloodstream, repairing microscopic damage and reinforcing your defences for the day ahead. Your brain sorts through the day’s mental load, deciding which memories to preserve, which to discard, and softening the emotional edges that might otherwise keep you on high alert. Hormones shift into night mode, lowering cortisol, raising melatonin, and releasing growth hormone so your body can aid cellular rebuilding and support muscle recovery. Even your metabolism takes its cues from sleep, fine-tuning blood sugar regulation and appetite control so you start the next day balanced. Meanwhile, your internal clock checks its bearings,…

You’ve ticked all the boxes. Eight hours in bed, lights out on time, no caffeine since lunchtime, but you still wake foggy, feel wired at night, crave food at the wrong times or just feel out of sync. Sometimes the problem isn’t how much sleep you get but when you get it, because your body runs on rhythm and timing matters. Every cell in your body keeps time. From your liver and lungs to your brain, each organ follows a daily rhythm. These internal cycles, known as circadian rhythms, help regulate when different systems in your body activate or power down across the day. That’s why you often feel alert at certain times and sluggish at others — your body is running on a schedule you might not even notice.…

“The light is the first thing I notice. In Northumberland the skies were endless and full of potential. Even on the days when I felt trapped in its wilderness I could imagine a wider world across the sea, because the sky was so changeable. One moment powder blue, the next hung with a stubborn sea fret that concealed stony coves and seals bobbing their heads above the waves. Now I am in the city. The kids and I have moved to a flat at the very bottom of a huge tenement building. We walk down steps to reach our front door, and from the living room we can watch legs striding along the pavement above us. The air is muted and we are tucked away from the rest of the…

So to help both new students and their parents, sixth form and university teachers Dr Jo Phillips and Martin Griffin have teamed up to share advice on how new students can make the most of their time in further education by adjusting to university study, campus life and independent living and learning. Griffin says: ‘As parents of a teenager, we appreciate the anxiety that comes when a young person is about to go to university — it’s normal to wonder how on earth they’ll cope with the demands of this new way of life. While trying to stay strong for their sake, you feel the heartache of supporting them from a distance, knowing that university is not quite the same carefree experience it once was.’ Phillips adds: ‘We love teaching…