Innholdsfortegnelse for March 2025 i Psychologies

There are a few times when I’ve pinched myself, metaphorically speaking at least, since working at Psychologies. But perhaps none more so than when I sat discussing my two miscarriages with Myleene Klass. For one thing, I’ve probably only discussed those experiences in detail with a handful of people. I’ve tried to shield my two older children from it, and since we had the joyful good fortune of following two devastating miscarriages with two wonderful rainbow babies, I’ve felt forced to kowtow to the usual, socially-accepted narrative of keeping quiet, moving on, trying to leave that pain in the past. But speaking to Klass, recounting my experience of first a chemical pregnancy (lost just a few days after a positive pregnancy test) followed, a few months later, by a truly…

Finding your spark again may not need any big changes. And even if you’ve identified that you do want to make a significant alteration to your life, there are still things you can do right now to help you feel more present and energised. I asked the experts for their advice on the little things we can all do to help us feel like ourselves again. Change your routine Beverley Blackman explains that, often, changes to your regular routine can help. ‘Start with easy things — if you drink coffee in the mornings, have tea or a smoothie instead,’ she suggests. ‘If you take public transport to work, get off one stop earlier and walk; park somewhere different if you drive to work; or walk a different route. If you…

I want to talk about feeling ugly. Not ugly on the outside: we all know about ugly on the outside, how it is the white noise against which all women live, the way we are sold potions and lotions to make us look younger, and how that has now extended to our daughters. I know that my 14 year-old, with the skin of an angel, has more skincare products than I do scattered across her dressing table. And it was only yesterday that I saw a post on Instagram showing headlines from a few years ago commenting on the thighs and stomachs of female celebrities, ostensibly demonstrating how times have changed, but the shadow of objectification and the running commentary on women’s bodies still lingers all around. So I do…

When the going gets tough... Lee Chambers, psychologist and the author of Momentum: 13 Ways to Unlock Your Potential (Kogan Page, £14.99) shares three inspirational tips to help you bounce back when things don’t go to plan. 1 Step out, instead of stepping in: When something goes awry, we often want to step in and fix it. But there is power in stepping out, as being too close can cloud our perspective. Step back so you can see more clearly, and maybe even consider an outside perspective which is even further away, as they will often see the opportunities that you haven’t. If we can step beyond the emotions and self-blame, suddenly we will see lessons and learning, rather than taking the failure as a reflection on our personal worth. 2 Work…

With all the enthusiasm of a chicken entering McDonalds, I have decided to dip a toe back into the wonderful world of online dating. This means I am back on the dating apps (or back on Hinge as Tinder is too depressing and Bumble literally won’t let me create a new profile). To make the swiping process slightly less soul-destroying, I’ve decided to gamify and try to find one useful piece of learning or advice on each profile I come across. This is a largely futile exercise but when I saw a man who claimed his superpower was finding ‘joy in the smallest of triumphs’, I was instantly intrigued. I swiped right. We matched! I could already feel the rush of triumph flowing through me. For those of you lucky…

You may instinctively know that you’re in a bit of a rut, but it can also be hard to recognise when you’re languishing, not flourishing. Dr Tara Quinn-Cirillo highlights some of the signs that you may be experiencing: ● Noticing changes in thinking patterns. This can include an increase in negative thinking, or the intensity of it. For example, negative thought patterns and cyclical thought patterns, with the same negative thoughts going round and round. ● Experiencing fluctuations or extremes in mood. ● Feeling deflated or lacking motivation. ● Noticing changes in behaviour. You may be avoiding things or using things to cope such as alcohol, overeating or behavioural changes such as becoming short tempered or snappy. Does any of this sound familiar, or do you have some sense that…

People rarely talk about sleep and, if they do, you don’t hear many people boasting about what a great sleeper they are. It’s just not celebrated in the same way other health-supporting activities are. In fact, it’s kind of the opposite, and I’d like to change that. ‘Sleep is for wimps,’ ‘I’m too busy to sleep,’ or ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead,’ are mantras that I’ve heard both from friends and colleagues, as well as on TV. The latter is a phrase I particularly dislike. Not only because it smacks of a certain type of toxic productivity, but also because, if anything is going to cut short our mortality, it’s lack of sleep. The idea that to be successful we need to work long hours, forgo downtime and stay up…

Sweet dreams lead to happy days Getting a good night’s sleep doesn’t just give you more energy — it can also boost your brain’s ability to banish negative and intrusive thoughts. University of York scientists say a lack of rest interferes with the prefrontal area’s ability to restrict retrieval of memories that would otherwise be suppressed. They made the discovery after using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scans to investigate the brain activity of 85 healthy adults, half who’d slept well in a lab and half who’d stayed awake all night. Dr Scott Cairney from the University of York’s Department of Psychology, said: ‘Memories of unpleasant experiences often intrude into our conscious mind in response to reminders, but tend to be fleeting and can be put out of the mind…

We live in a society that glorifies hustle culture, where being exceedingly busy is seen as evidence of success. We are encouraged towards multi-tasking and life hacks, because why do one thing at a time, when you could be doing three? This maximalist approach can on occasion have us feeling like we are winning, sucking from the marrow of life, embracing everything that it has to offer. I must admit that there are times when packing out my week with deadlines, events, nights out and family commitments can feel exhilarating. There is a particular brand of tiredness that comes at the end of one of these weeks that is underscored with contentment and satisfaction, a feeling that I’ll admit I sometimes chase. There is a tipping point, however, when all…

I’ve been struggling with my sleep in this last stretch of winter. It’s a stark contrast to when I was a teenager and could fall asleep anywhere: on a friend’s couch, in the backseat of a car, even during social events, masking how uncomfortable I often felt with groups of people. Sleep came naturally and easily then, like a superpower I took for granted. Fast forward to adulthood, and that effortless slumber has slipped through my fingers. The stresses of daily life have crept in, alongside bad habits I once vowed never to adopt. Where my bedside table used to hold a book and a trusty notebook, these companions have been replaced by the glowing blue light of my iPhone and iPad. For a long while I’d scroll endlessly through…

Sometimes, a feeling of being stuck can be linked to not living in tune with our sense of purpose and what really matters to us. ‘Feeling a little lost in life is a fairly common experience for many of us,’ explains psychotherapist and coach Karin Peeters. ‘The lack-lustre feeling of rudderlessness, going through the motions and not really having a clear sense of purpose can be mind and soul numbing. It’s easy for apathy to become a familiar state, where we drift through the days perhaps doing a lot, but feeling that we haven’t accomplished anything of real note.’ Even when things are going well, there can still be the niggle that something is missing. ‘There’s a sense of misalignment between what’s happening on the outside in our daily doings,…

Q After years of struggling, a difficult Christmas was the last straw for my husband and me, and we’ve decided to split. I’m heartbroken but I feel it’s for the best. How do I tell my children without hurting them even more? ‘Divorce is a big change for the whole family, and it’s natural for children to feel unsettled or unsure about what’s happening,’ says Alicia Eaton, a Harley Street psychotherapist who specialises in helping families with children’s emotional wellbeing. ‘The key is to provide clear, age-appropriate explanations while offering them a sense of security, love, and reassurance.’ And divorce and separation coach Celia Conrad, from divorce coaching platform Pivot, stresses that the impact of divorce on children can’t be overestimated, as everything a child is familiar with can change instantly.…

We’ve all heard about adrenaline — the hormone your body produces when you find yourself in a stressful situation — but what about cortisol? ‘Put simply, it’s one of the stress hormones,’ explains registered nutritionist Angela Dowden, who places it ‘in the same category’ as adrenaline. ‘We’re meant to produce it, it is produced in a daily pattern. We produce a lot when we wake up in the morning, so it gears us up to the day. Production should then slow over the period of the day, with fluctuations here and there.’ Cortisol is produced in response to stress, so if you find yourself spinning out, you might see a spike in your levels — and food can have a potential impact on this. ‘It’s really good to be aware…