Innholdsfortegnelse for Christmas 2022 i Psychologies

So, what are you planning? Are you going all out to make up for the past two years? Do you have festivities arranged to keep you rushed off your feet right up until the big day? Have you spent every last penny that’s left in your bank account? That seems to be the image we’re being sold this Christmas – that we need to get back out there and have double (or triple!) the fun to make up for the quiet Christmases we’ve had over the past couple of years. But are we just putting ourselves under more pressure to reach for perfection? One of the few gifts that the past couple of years has given us is perspective. That it’s the people, not the presents, that matter. That your…

Last year, I did something I’ve never done before: I put my Christmas tree up in November. I’d just broken up with the man I was living with and so, as he exited the building, I decided to fill the space he’d left behind with some sparkle and light. Yet, wherever I turn on social media right now, I can’t seem to escape a middle-aged man complaining about his girlfriend or wife putting the Christmas decorations up too early. Every other Instagram post is a woman saying, ‘Can you please tell Michael that Love Actually is a romcom that can be watched year round; it’s just set at Christmas,’ while men are posting TikToks of themselves doing the Home Alone scream as they walk into a sitting room that has…

Does the thought of going to Christmas parties and get-togethers, or mingling with people for drinks, give you butterflies – and not in a good way? Maybe you’re nervous about what to wear, how you’ll get there, who will be there, or what to talk about, because you haven’t seen many of these people in such a long time. Perhaps you used to be the life and soul of the party – or, at the very least, enjoyed going out – but now you find yourself feeling less-than-festive, because you don’t know what to expect. If this sounds familiar, you’re certainly not alone. Most people feel nervous in some social situations, and worry about saying the wrong thing or not coming across well – but, after the couple of years…

Very occasionally, I escape to the city. Boarding the train, I watch the North Sea flash by and disappear. I like to stare out of the window and look for deer standing in fields, or the fork of a red kite’s tail silhouetted in the sky. The rough edges of Northumberland become smoother and softer the further south I travel, until the fields are swallowed by buildings. Some people are bemused by the concept of escaping to a city, glancing over my shoulder at the wide Northumbrian beaches and distant hills. But while the middle of nowhere holds its own remedies, I always find a trip to the city nourishing in its own special way. The unspoken codes of life in the south feel familiar to me: tapping phones on…

Star letter Comfort zone I have just read ‘A room of one’s own’ (November) and thought I’d write to tell you about my own ‘safe space’, in the room next to my bedroom. It’s become a sanctuary, and the place I retreat to, so I related to your feature. I especially enjoyed reading about how to curate your own ‘emotional escape room’; I’ve now put all my clutter tidily on shelves and in a spare wardrobe (as it used to have a bed in the room), so now I can relax and declutter my mind, too. Thanks for the inspiration! Thank you for another great Psychologies, packed with useful tips and things to do. Amy Hunt “I have just purchased Psychologies, and read the editorial. Kudos - it is insightful,…

Session two... I’d really looked forward to seeing Heather again. She had left our last session excited about creating a vision board of her desired future. She had also set herself a goal of a wardrobe makeover session with an image consultant. So I barely recognised Heather when she arrived back at my office. She was transformed – she’d ditched the dye and embraced her grey hair, and had a short, sassy haircut. The worn-out joggers and sweatshirts were gone, and she was wearing smart jeans, trainers, beautiful knitwear, and statement jewellery. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She looked like a million dollars – yet her body language didn’t reflect that. ‘You look amazing!’ I exclaimed. ‘How do you feel?’ Heather shrugged. ‘It’s taking some getting used to.…

Eat well Taste of Christmas Give something back during this time of gratitude and goodwill, and snuggle down with a cup of Christmas Tea from Yogi Tea Organic; all profits from its European sales are donated to the Nevandra association in India, which provides children with an education and a roof over their heads. An Ayurvedic tea blend of aromatic honeybush and Christmas spices, such as cinnamon and star anise, this hearty brew will warm your soul in more ways than one. Yogi Tea Organic Christmas Tea, £2.59, yogitea.com 3 HEALTHY FESTIVE TREATS TO TRY Harissa roast pumpkin & feta salad Looking for something that’s light but still feels a little indulgent? This warm and nourishing salad is just the ticket. Roasting pumpkin or butternut squash brings out all…

Expert advice Samantha Quemby is a certified and trauma informed leadership and life coach, qualified hypnotherapist, and NLP and EFT practitioner. samanthaquembycoaching.com Dawn Baxter is a certified positive psychology coach, and founder of beyondthedawnblog.com Why digital detox now? ‘December is the perfect time for a digital detox, as it allows the focus of the holiday period to be on spending quality time with family and friends,’ explains life coach Samantha Quemby. The time you free up from scrolling on devices – which reports state is an average of four hours daily – suddenly becomes available for more meaningful connection and conversation with those around you. ‘A digital detox also allows you to disconnect from work, as you won’t be constantly bombarded by emails, and you can escape the temptation to…

Gift aid Choosing Christmas presents for your children and partner that will be appreciated without breaking the bank can be a tricky task. But you can simplify the process – and make sure everyone cherishes their goodies – by adopting the ‘four rule’ gift-giving trend. This means every family member gets four items to unwrap: something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. Devotees of this method believe that, rather than being miserly, it improves gratitude, reduces waste, cuts stress and allows you to stick to a budget, as well as investing in presents that will be put to good use and truly treasured. A natural ageing process? Exposure to natural ‘blue spaces’ in childhood has been linked to improved wellbeing in later life. An…

There aren’t many celebrities who can boast a CV as varied as Vogue Williams. When she’s not bossing the podcast charts with two of the country’s most listened to shows, she’s presenting on TV, running her self-tanning business, designing wallpaper, or shooting her clothing collections. Earlier this year she added children’s author to her list of notables, thanks to her debut book, Jump For The Stars (New Frontier Publishing, £12.99), and that’s before we’ve factored in the not-insignificant matter of being a mother to three under-fives. The diary management must be a full-time job in itself. ‘Ah, my manager has the joy of that!’ she jokes. ‘She’s a mother as well, so she understands that side of my life and makes sure that anything to do with the kids gets…

Expert advice Michelle Elman is a neuro-linguistic programming practitioner, NLP coach, hypnotherapist, and the author of The Joy Of Being Selfish (Welbeck, £8.99). michelleelman.com Dr Emma Millar is a consultant clinical psychologist at Epic Solutions, a team of specialised health care professionals providing physical and mental health treatment. epicsolutions.org.uk When the prospect of the line-up of parties and gatherings in your diary fills you with dread instead of delight, it may be time to take control of your time – and energy – for the sake of your own wellbeing. However, the fear of letting others down can often make this easier said than done. Expectations of festive ‘joy and togetherness’ can weigh heavily, and intensify worries about changing plans, being seen as flaky, or hurting someone’s feelings. But, if…

HAVE A SPRUCE-NEEDLE BATH Cut three fresh twigs from your Christmas tree, chop them into small pieces and add to a litre of water. Bring to the boil then take off the heat, cover with a tea towel, and leave to infuse while you run your bath. Strain and add to warm bath water before bed. This is particularly good if you come down with a Christmas cold. Wrap it up If you like beautiful wrapping paper, make your own. Invite friends over, ask everyone to bring some plain recycled paper and craft materials, and spend the evening chatting, making and wrapping. It’s much more relaxing than doing it on Christmas Eve and realising you’ve run out when all the shops are shut! Write cards Who doesn’t love to receive…

At this time of year, I long for a few moments of unhurried peace. But, like most of us, I have to make do with a quick stroll – snatching brief moments in between the endless Christmas preparations. But these short walks can often be the most satisfying. I take my inspiration from a medieval mystic called Margery Kempe, a keen pilgrim who invented the micro pilgrimage for those times when she longed to walk a full route but couldn’t. Margery – who had 14 children – knew that most women couldn’t drop everything and go on a full-length pilgrimage. Instead, she urged her followers to take a short walk to a nearby church, where they could spend a few quiet minutes in tranquillity and reflection. At this time of…

Q I have been in my current job since 2004. The problem is, we are all still earning minimum wage; I’m so sick of having to scrape by and tell the kids I can’t afford everything they want. In addition, I find it impossible to join in conversations with my colleagues, and I dread every Monday. So, why don’t I leave? Partly because I’m institutionalised, but mostly because I find it very creatively fulfilling. I want a job that I look forward to doing, with people who inspire me and put value on the skills I have. Where can I find that? “Courage originally meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart’”Brené Brown There are a lot of strong emotions at play here: frustration, loneliness and determination. So,…