Innholdsfortegnelse for December 2018 i Cosmopolitan

Haute Country “I’m a Florida boy. I wear board shorts or jean shorts and a cutoff shirt or vintage T-shirt every day…and probably a baseball hat. For shows these days, I’ve transformed into the denim cowboy. On red carpets, I get to be somebody different for a night. I got a flask in my Gucci boot.” —BRIAN Love on the Road “We go on double dates, just BK and me and our wives. We do what we call family dinner.” —TYLER “It’s important to have date nights. Explore together and find new places. That brings a cool sense of romance and intimacy.” —BRIAN Brotherly Bond “We lived in a Chevy Tahoe for two years together, and we shared a house when we were in Nashville. We refer to our relationship…

Confessions “When I was younger, my mom refused to teach me how to drive because she is terrified of accidents. Since I was determined to learn, I made a copy of her car key, and every night for an hour, I would sneak her car out to my high school parking lot and literally taught myself how to drive.”—CASSIE C., 23, CUSTOMER-SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE, ELMONT, NY “I’ve always had a thing for Prince Harry, so when I lived in London, I would try to go out to all the places he went, hoping I’d run into him! I literally followed British tabloids and stalked his friends’ Instagram accounts to see where he was.”— VALERIE R., 28, E-COMMERCE MERCHANT, HOUSTON, TX “One time, my friend used my computer to log in to…

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GLAM GOAL High Volume Serve up sexy retro vibes by adding extra height at your crown with rollers. Start by blow-drying strands in two-inch sections along the top of your head. While the hair is still warm, wrap each section around a roller up to your roots. “This allows the hair to set in the shape of the roller as it cools, creating body,” says Drybar founder Alli Webb. GLAM GOAL Glitter Eyes “Always apply sparkle first,” says makeup artist Katie Jane Hughes. “Glitter fallout is inevitable, and you don’t want to have to redo your foundation.” For a sparkly smoky eye, pat a gel-based glitter on the outer third of your lids using a flat lip brush. For a more subtle hint of shimmer, try a flick of metallic…

It wouldn’t be the last time a guy would influence how my appearance impacted my choices. My college boyfriend, a drummer, rarely saw me without thick eyeliner and black lipstick. Later, when I started dating in New York City, my Tinder matches were always served the same look: smoky eyes, nude gloss, beachy waves. I subconsciously prioritized the version of “hot” I thought would please whoever I was dating over being myself. Meanwhile, at my job as—of all things—a magazine beauty editor (where I work almost exclusively with women), I wore what made me happiest: bedhead, a bright lip, and a dash of glittery eye shadow. The Gender Jail Why was there such a disconnect between how I preferred to present myself to the world and the way I made…

1 The Many Faces of Dehydration Your skin called….It wants a humidifier as a holiday gift. Here’s why: When temperatures dip, so do humidity levels, causing roughness and flaking. (Cold wind and indoor heating don’t help. Both deplete the protective lipid barrier that helps retain moisture.) But dry patches are only one side effect. Dehydration causes your body to overcompensate for lack of moisture by producing more oil, says Dendy Engelman, MD, a dermatologist in NYC. The results are clogged pores and an overly shiny complexion. 2 How a Humidifier Can Help The ideal humidity level is between 40 and 60 percent, says Chad Hyland, an associate merchant at The Home Depot. A humidifier emits moisture (usually via a mist) to get your space to that sweet spot. At home,…

IMPACT PLAY may sound foreign—and a little scary—to you and your partner. But this form of adventurous sex doesn’t have to be extreme. Ranging from soft love taps to smack-dat-ass slaps, the term refers to any bedroom move in which someone is struck with a hand or toy for sexual gratification. While the intensity can vary, the action must always be consensual, and if you’re game, experimenting can make for an erotic exploration of mixing a bit of pain with pleasure. On a physical level, a strike on your butt, upper thighs, or other erogenous zones stimulates your skin’s nerve receptors and can trigger the release of feel-good endorphins and the neurotransmitter dopamine. The smack itself may feel amazing to you, but it can also make any pleasurable touch that…

30 percent of attached men wish their number of sexual partners were higher. (And 24 percent wish their number were lower!) SOURCE: 2018 EDENFANTASYS SURVEY Decode His Fave Holiday Movie Media psychologist Pamela Rutledge, PhD, explains. COMEDY Chances are, he likes to make you and everyone else around him laugh, but it might take a nudge for him to show his feelings. HEARTWARMING He loves love and doesn’t care who knows it. Call him a hopeless romantic, as he probably enjoys happy endings. DRAMA Although he may seem a bit intense, he thrives on being the good guy. He may not be snugglin’ during the movie, but expect some TLC in the sheets later. SUSPENSE These flicks appeal to dudes with a different sense of humor and a thing for childhood…

Forget snuggling up to a bottle of wine in your bathrobe. A better way to bounce back from a split? Host your own breakup party—aka a get-together at which you and your besties toast to your freedom. There’s proof that when you’re super bummed about the loss of a relationship, surrounding yourself with friends can give you a boost. “Research shows that people who have reminders of being appreciated experience less pain than those who don’t,” explains Guy Winch, PhD, author of How to Fix a Broken Heart. Besides, the alternative (you know: sobbing, snotting…) sucks. “You can either spiral downward or use your breakup as a catalyst to create the life you want,” says Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp. Here’s how to focus on having some fun.…

The Sugar Spoon As the little spoon, hook your upper leg back over your man. Have him rub your clitoris with one hand. WHY IT’S ROMANTIC Maximum body contact signals “You. More, please.” The Couch Rocker Have your guy sit on the edge of a sofa, then sit on his lap. Rock gently while holding him tight. WHY IT’S ROMANTIC It’s basically a hug with orgasm potential. And it’s easy to make out face-to-face. The Figure 8 Lie on your back with your knees raised and bent and a pillow under your butt. He can grind against you in slow circles. WHY IT’S ROMANTIC The friction gives you both time to build up to an intense climax.…

1 Grilled Cheese One stupidly simple move will score you more than double the fiber, which is super filling. Just swap out white bread for 100 percent whole wheat, says Molly Morgan, RD, author of Drink Your Way to Gut Health. For bonus points, add some sliced tomato to nab lycopene, an antioxidant, or spinach for vitamin K, which supports bone health. 2 Pancakes “Most mixes are made of white flour, which doesn’t provide many nutrients,” explains Sarah Rueven, RD, a nutritionist in NYC. But her bomb-ass version is packed with potassium, to stave off bloating, as well as protein and healthy fat, to prevent a midafternoon carb crash. Combine 2 bananas, 2 eggs, 4 tablespoons almond flour (such as Blue Diamond’s, below), ½ teaspoon baking soda, and a pinch…

PH stands for power of hydrogen, and it measures how acidic something is (the more hydrogen ions, the more acidic). Somewhat confusingly (hey, we don’t make the science rules!), 0 is the most acid-packed and 14 is the least. A healthy vagina is naturally acidic, with a pH sweet spot of around 3.8 to 4.5. And this is crucial because levels above 4.5 can make you more susceptible to STIs (including HIV) and bacterial vaginosis (BV), which thrive in less acidic environments, says Lauren Streicher, MD, medical director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause. More proof that your pH is a BFD: New research has linked elevated vaginal levels to a higher risk for cervical cancer, likely because the less acid you have, the less able…

Are you ever embarrassed by your work performance? _YES _NO Have you been consistently miserable in your position for more than two months? _YES _NO Do you have what you thought would be your dream job but feel totally unfulfilled? _YES _NO If you answered mostly yes, you may be frustrated with your current gig or need a career refresh that aligns with your definition of success. Think about pivoting to a new industry. “Find a job that utilizes your strengths and you’ll be more likely to be happy,” says Sara Bliss, author of Take the Leap. If you answered mostly no, you seem to know what kind of work sitch fits your preferred lifestyle. Continue checking in with your priorities every few months. “Reflect on your choices to decide if you’re…

beauty tip Fall head over heels…for your skin! An antioxidant serum, such as Chanel Hydra Beauty Micro Liquid Essence, $100, gives the ultimate glow. Hailee Steinfeld doesn’t want to talk about her boyfriend. But the 21-year-old Oscar nominee, pop singer, and former Swift Squad regular is more than willing to use the L-word. A lot. “When you fall in love,” she says, “you pick up on the tiniest things about yourself. I am one to spread [out] on the mattress and take up every inch of space. Now I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to make as much room for you as possible.” By now, it’s safe to assume the “you” she’s talking about is Niall Horan. Photos of Hailee smooching the former One Directioner have gone…

COVER Dior, dior.com. FOR THE LOVE OF HAILEE PAGE 119: Chanel, chanel.com. GLOW-GETTING GADGETS PAGE 120: BeautyBio, beautybio.com. PAGE 121: Dr. Dennis Gross, sephora.com. PAGE 122: Clarisonic, clarisonic.com. PAGE 123: ZIIP Beauty, ziipbeauty.com. PAGE 124: Georgia Louise, georgialouise.com. PAGE 125: MDNA SKIN, mdnaskin.com. ALL WARM & FUZZY PAGE 126: Lindsey Thornburg, lindseythornburg.com. Eddie Bauer, eddiebauer.com. Mavi, mavi.com. Young Frankk, youngfrankk.com. PAGE 128: Closed, closed.com. Rachel Antonoff, rachelantonoff.com. Garnet Hill, garnethill.com. Ariat Two24, two24.ariat.com. Tiffany & Co., similar styles at lenscrafters.com. Dean Davidson, deandavidson.us. Pop & Suki, popandsuki.com. Yeti, yeti.com. PAGE 129: Anine Bing, aninebing.com. Land of Distraction, landofdistraction.com. Parker Thatch, parkerthatch.com. Pendleton Woolen Mills, pendleton-usa.com. Moncler, moncler.com. Mounser, mounser.com. PAGE 130: Mother, motherdenim.com. M Missoni, mmissoni.com. Aerie, aerie.com. Hysteria by Happy Socks, happysocks.com. Universal Thread, target.com. Ray-Ban, ray-ban.com. Lele Sadoughi,…

In a previous issue, I posed this question at the end of my editor’s letter: Do you think using the term ballsy is sexist because it equates courage with maleness? The most popular response can be summed up this way: “Hmm…I never really thought about it. But now that you mention it, yeah!” Same here. On a related note, another thing many of us haven’t given enough thought to is how we reflexively assign negative connotations to typically feminine qualities or behaviors. For example, feeling deeply and being emotional is often derogated. Or that so-called gossip (a nasty-seeming word) is actually, in its purest form, a means of connecting socially with other women. A new book, The Feminine Revolution, by Amy Stanton and Catherine Connors, repositions these sorts of characteristics…

Something people get wrong about me: There’s confusion if you know me from certain roles. I don’t have minions, and I’m not planning and plotting and being a conniving queen bee. I have a weakness for: Babies, puppies, kittens, sunsets, sunrises. The moon when it’s full, particularly when it’s yellow or red. Anything decadent like cheese, burritos, cake, pizza, pie, alcohol. I guess I’m really weak. My best trait: I’m kind. My worst trait: I lean toward worrisome and neurotic. My weirdest quirk: I eat food in the car as if [the dashboard] is a table. I will dress a bagel and drive down a dirt road while I try to eat it. Current MCM: I’ve been listening to The Wilderness podcast—the host of that, Jon Favreau. Current WCW: Kirsten…

“I met this dude at a bar and we ended up having a pretty fun date. Then he invited me to a holiday party he was throwing. I showed up with my friend and realized he had invited every girl he was seeing at the time. I drank all the holiday drinks, scarfed down some cupcakes, then got the hell out of there. Six months later, I ran into him, and he admitted he didn’t remember my name while still trying to hit on me.”—LISE J., 24 “On the first few dates with a new guy, all he talked about was his ex. Apparently, she was a dancer and he loved how flexible she was. It was so bad.”—SARA P., 20 “I matched with someone on Tinder, and he gave…

Wear Them With… Your Fave LBD Bling plus black equals sexy. Winter Whites Snowy hues soften rhinestones’ shine. Racy Red Step up the glam factor.…

Reduce Redness When you’re dealing with a flushed face or an angry breakout, green is your calming BFF. That’s because green and red are opposites on the color wheel—they counteract each other, says celeb makeup artist Vincent Oquendo. Hide Hyperpigmentation Dark spots, post-inflammatory marks from old breakouts, and melasma are tough to hide without layers of concealer. To the rescue: a yellow-tinted primer or corrector. It’ll neutralize uneven pigment and, bonus, minimize purple-colored veins. Diminish Dark Circles Red correctors can negate the bluish tones under eyes. “If your skin tone is light or medium, choose an orange shade. If you’re darker, opt for red,” says Glamsquad artistic director Kelli J. Bartlett. Brighten Your Tone Tired or hungover? Get glowing with a blue (if you’re fair) or purple (if you’re dark)…

NOTO Botanics Profits from this vetiver-scented hair and body oil go toward organizations such as The LGBT Center in L.A. Fluide This makeup brand is made for all gender expressions and identities, and many shades are named after safe queer spaces. Mugler The fragrance house recently launched a line of five colorful, layerable colognes meant to defy gender, race, and age (a couple of scent names: Run Free and Love You All).…

By now, you’ve likely heard of big-dick energy—the viral catchphrase for the undeniable air of confidence that some guys seem to exude. The theory being, well-endowed dudes have a little extra swagger. Women can project a similarly confident vibe—although obvi, it has nothing to do with a particular body part. It’s just about the energy that comes with being happy and totally self-assured. And when you’re single, that can be insanely magnetic. Like a taxi cab with its light on, this silent signal announces to the world that you’re cool just cruising around on your own but also available. Well, Cosmo is putting a name to that powerful allure: single-babe energy (SBE for short). Emitting SBE can cause a noticeable shift in your dating life. Suddenly, you may get more…

Why do small dissimilarities—such as having different tastes in food, music, or travel—become major issues for some couples? And how do other duos handle conflicting stances on major topics such as religion, money, and—especially now—politics with ease? After years of working with clients, I’ve found it’s not the actual disagreement itself that causes problems within a romantic relationship. What matters so much more is how both partners respond emotionally when they don’t see eye to eye on something. In fact, I believe that couples who can handle their disparities and approach potentially toxic topics in mature, respectful ways have the strongest bonds. They work hard to understand, appreciate, and accept what could otherwise divide them. If you adore your mate but he or she has an opinion or affinity you…

IMMEDIATELY AFTER Cuddle Your Hearts Out This ups oxytocin, which can make you both happier in your bond (yup, even more than sex can). Whether it’s for 1 minute or 15, snuggle up and try to sync your breathing, says Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Jess podcast. “As your breath becomes one, you’ll likely feel more connected.” THE NEXT DAY Have Some Pillow Talk While you’re still recovering from the physical, hormonal, and emotional sex high, open up and be vulnerable with each other, O’Reilly suggests. Kick off a convo by asking, “What would constitute a perfect day for you?” (That’s one of psychologist Arthur Aron’s 36 questions that may make you fall in love with someone.) TWO DAYS LATER Send a Flashback Text Sentiments like “Missing…

You may have tackled your FOMO (fear of missing out). But you could still be suffering from its cousin, FOBO—the fear of better options. “It’s a psychological phenomenon when you’re always looking for something better, making it difficult to commit to anything,” says venture capitalist Patrick McGinnis, who coined the term when he was a student at Harvard Business School in 2004. Since then, FOBO has reached epidemic levels, thanks largely to the option-filled apps and sophisticated web-search databases that feed the indecision beast, says researcher Abigail Scholer, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Waterloo. “The ease of accessing information makes it harder for some people to make choices,” she explains. Just consider a challenge like picking a new pair of jeans among a dizzying number…

Chocolate Pistachio Cookie Shots 1½ c. ground pistachios1 egg white1½ c. confectioners’ sugar2 oz. dark chocolate chips¼ c. chopped pistachios1 c. chilled milk of any kind ▶ Combine ground pistachios, egg white, and confectioners’ sugar until the mixture becomes doughlike. ▶ Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Divide the dough into 6 equal pieces, and use them to line the inside of each cookie-shot mold (our fave mold tray, at right). ▶ Bake for 20 minutes, then set aside for 1 hour before removing cookie shots from the molds. ▶ Melt the chocolate in a microwave, and use it to coat the inside and edges of the cookie shots. Sprinkle with chopped pistachios. Let cool for 1 hour. ▶ Fill each cookie with milk and serve. ▶ Open your Amazon…

THE COLLAGEN BUILDER Similar to pro microneedling tools used by derms, GloPRO is covered in tiny needles that create superficial, painless punctures in the skin when rolled back and forth. These wounds prompt production of collagen and elastin (proteins that keep skin plump and firm) as the skin heals, which can result in smaller pores, improved texture, and fewer lines with continued use. THE MULTITASKER Behind the mask: 100 red and 62 blue LED lights that work together to create your most epic skin. “LED is the ultimate do-it-all ingredient,” says derm Dennis Gross, MD, the mask’s creator. “The skin has receptors for LED, just like it does for other topical ingredients, such as vitamin C and retinol. This allows the blue lights to control excess sebum and acne-causing bacteria…

1. You’re invited to a white-tie wedding (like, the fanciest). You wear: A The same sheath dress and nude pumps you sport at most nuptials. B An edgy lewk everyone will think needs tailoring (it’s fashion, dahling). C Something lacy and bright. If people question the color, you’ll offer up a white-gloved hand. 2. As a tween, you fantasized about meeting your future spouse… A In a coed-dorm hallway, where you’d bond over your matching shower shoes. B On a mysterious blind date with a total bad-boy type. C At a family function—your kin invite the most interesting people. 3. You’re walking into a diner when bam—you bump right into Bieber. You: A Nod, give a polite smile, and say “Bon appétit!” B Convince him to make his next bop…

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WORK Stay Polished PLAY Get Sporty DRINKS Swagger On ▶ Open your Amazon App ▶ Tap the camera icon ▶ Choose SmileCode ▶ Scan to shop!…

20% OFF The CosmoBox Save on the best gift for the holidays. This month’s CosmoBox provides all of our editor’s faves to survive the holiday season! From glam new CosmoStyle jewelry to the hottest new eye shadow palette, everyone will enjoy this party survival kit. Get 20% of your first order with code COSMOHOLIDAY20 *expires 12/31/2018. TheCosmoBoxes.com Woman Up, Made with Love House of Tens fashion puts love and gratitude into each piece of fashion with the best quality materials! houseoftens.com Color Your Hair with Splat! Splat’s unique formula gives hair extremely vivid colors while forming a protective shield over the hair that prevents the color from washing out. All in 1 Kit includes Dye and Lightener. walmart.com Your Vote Matters! Vote for the L’Oréal Paris Women of Worth National…

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IN 10 WORDS OR LESS! I think about sex several times each day. Is that normal? A_ Totally. Fifty-six percent of millennial women do this. My S.O. is way shorter than I am. What position will work best given our differing heights? A_ Sit on a low counter, and have him face you. Do flavored condoms actually taste good? A_ Skyn Cocktail Club condoms [$11, amazon.com] taste like vacation… in your mouth. Is it possible that my vagina could be too shallow for intercourse? A_ Nah, but sometimes deep penetration can hurt. Try girl-on-top. How do I know if I’m smelling good before my partner goes down on me? A_ Did you bathe this morning? Then you’re all set! Every woman I date seems to want to hook up fast.…

1 Will your mate remain calm and nonjudgmental when you discuss your opposing beliefs? _YES _NO 2 When you disagree on something, do they listen and avoid trying to change your mind? _YES _NO 3 Is your mate tolerant of other people whose ideas conflict with their own? _YES _NO If you answered mostly yes, your S.O. has the ability to deal with contradictions to their own outlook—a clear sign of maturity. Celebrate that quality by mirroring their open-mindedness and empathy. If you answered mostly no, your partner may struggle with opposition or new ways of thinking. Talk with them about the ways in which you feel unheard, and ask them to practice listening to varying viewpoints.…

1 Clues Don’t expect him to just know what he’s doing. Leave hints by talking about what would be hot if he did it, not what was hot when someone else did it. 2 Low-Pressure Sex Doin’ the deed can feel overwhelming if every time requires a giant buildup. Incorporate quickies and foreplay too. Remember, each session doesn’t have to be the most epic. 3 Some Cheering Tell him what you want to do to him simply because of the way he looked at you. Make him feel needed outside the sheets, so he feels confident in them. 4 Your Confidence By all means, air your insecurities. But don’t point out your (nonexistent) flaws, which he didn’t even notice in the first place. Love your body the way we do.…

You know exercise is good for your bod, stress level, and overall health—not to mention a solid reason to put on stretchy pants. But on some days, it may actually be better to wear those leggings…back to bed. For real tho. With the season of holiday parties and germ mayhem upon us, we bring you Cosmo’s shame-free list of reasons to count running late as your workout of the day. EXCUSE 1 You’re Hungover AF If you’re just a little dehydrated, a light workout can flood you with feel-good endorphins and spur you to drink more nonalcoholic fluids. But if your heart is beating fast or you’re dizzy, don’t be a hero. Dehydration can cause you to pass out, says Cordelia W. Carter, MD, director of the Women’s Sports Medicine…

Hold a pair of dumbbells at your shoulders, and stand with your feet hip-width apart. Push your hips back and bend your knees to lower into a squat, keeping your chest upright. In one fluid motion, push through your heels to stand up while pressing the dumbbells directly overhead. Slowly lower the weights, returning them to your shoulders. That’s 1 rep. Do up to 4 sets of 12 reps, 2 to 3 times a week. ROBIN’S EXERCISE INSPO WORKOUT STAPLE “I need music! ’90s hip-hop is my go-to soundtrack. Notorious B.I.G. vibes forever.” FIT PHILOSOPHY “Do epic shit. When I’m getting ready to teach a class or work out on my own, I make the decision to be a badass.” PRE-SWEAT FUEL “I’ll eat half a vegan protein bar. It provides carbs for…

Do you actually want to be successful? Based on all the career books out there, your immediate response is most likely, ‘Yeah, I wanna be a CEO! I wanna be sooo successful.” But we have a news flash for you: Bosses rarely get to do the things they love. They have to make a lot of high-level decisions, and they probably enjoyed whatever they were doing right up until the point they got promoted. Yeah, it’s really great when you get a chic title and your fatter paycheck ref lects that, but what people rarely tell you is that the C-suite life isn’t for everyone. When you think about what kind of success you want, the goal is to be real with yourself about what you want to spend your…

Health Care “Is there anything you can do to help?” If you’re hit with a high medical bill, you may be able to negotiate a lower fee with your doctor’s office or insurer. Once, says Wong, she was charged for tests she didn’t realize were priced at a premium. “I got my bill and called my insurance, and they took care of it as a one-time courtesy.” Internet or Cable “Can you please explain this cost to me?” Whenever you see rando charges, get on the phone, says Wong. Follow up with questions like: “Why am I paying for that? How can I get the price knocked down?” This is how Wong found out that she was paying $100 a year to rent a router when she could have bought…

Snug It Out Drape a cushiony shearling over a sweater and velvety cords for max chill. Polish it up with gold accessories. Layer It Loosely Upgrade your night-in look with dresses soft enough to sleep in, bare legs, and woolly knee-highs. Hiking boots let you spontaneously step outside for a breath of fresh air. Lounge Out Loud Wear all your faves at once: Mix prints, go bright, and don slides and earrings that feel a little extra. Lazy-Day Luxe Dress Down Pajama party of one: Adorbs sleep masks and matching sets elevate your #WokeUpLikeThis game. Presented by Vince Camuto Fragrances ▶ Open your Amazon App ▶ Tap the camera icon ▶ Choose SmileCode ▶ Scan to shop! Beauty Tip Give the gift of a sunny day with Vince Camuto Divina…

MOSTLY A’S Classy Kate You’re one posh woman: graceful, well-mannered, and humble…but with a spine of steel. Good on you for keeping your cool and always putting up a steady front. Just remember that it’s also okay to bare your flaws and real feels once in a while. MOSTLY B’S Modern Meghan Fearless is an understatement. Like the latest addition to the Windsor crew, you’ve been sparkling since birth. That said, you know how to rein it in when the situation requires, which makes you a whiz at navigating new challenges and uncharted territories. MOSTLY C’S Kween B Beyoncé who? People bow down to you. You demand respect (without having to say a damn thing), and while you may be a bit of a traditionalist, you still have the ability…