Innholdsfortegnelse for January 2018 i Cosmopolitan

This Month on Cosmopolitan.com We’re celebrating the movers and shakers who wowed on Insta over the past year. Keep an eye online for our Internet’s Most Fascinating roundup of style stars, beauty icons, and more! Forget truth-or-dare. Our latest deck of cards, out January 2, takes your naughty nights in to steamier new levels ($10, amazon.com). Sign up at TheCosmoBoxes.com for a curated stash of all things Cosmo (cozy winter finds, cool beauty merch)—delivered to your door! Just Sayin’ Snap and share this month’s inspo on your social channels with the hashtag #CosmoInspo. HOW WE DO IT…IN THE CITY OF LOVE Q&A with Marie La Fonta, editor of Cosmo France Q_ What does it take to impress a Frenchwoman? A_ Universal turnons: being nice, funny, and smart. Liking cheese is…

I have a weakness for: English accents. Fave Insta account: @Lili_Hayes. My best trait: I’m wildly empathetic and diplomatic. And my worst: Poor time management. I think everyone in their 20s should: Take risks. Failure is not the end of the world. The last time I was nervous was: Today—I’m nervous anytime we start filming a new episode of This Is Us! My weirdest quirk: I can’t have any unread texts or e-mails. Those notification bubbles haunt me! Something people get wrong about me: That my weight defines me. My ideal TV family: The Golden Girls. Those ladies are smart and hilarious and have no filters. In a few words, my first time was: Full of love. My vice: Baked goods. I mean, have you seen The Great British Bake…

Confessions “My best friend, who’s gay, and I were super buzzed and horny one night. We both just wanted to make out with someone, so we ended up making out with each other in front of all our friends. They recorded it.” —VALERIE F., 23, ACCOUNT COORDINATOR, NOVI, MI “I met this cute guy one night and gave him my number. I must’ve had one too many drinks because I gave him my brother’s cell! (My brother’s and my number are the same except for the last digit.) I woke up to an embarrassing text from my brother about a random guy flirting with him.” —LAUREL H., 23, TELEVISION PRODUCER, NEW YORK, NY “I went abroad my junior year of college to Florence, Italy. My boyfriend came to visit me.…

Cream Dreams The shortest days of the year are dark enough, so why not lighten up your look? Ivory separates are chic in oversize proportions. Just keep your latte at arm’s length.…

These single-use wipes are perfect for swiping sweat and bacteria from your bikini line post-gym. Ingrowns can be a thing even if you don’t shave or wax. Try this glycolicacid serum to treat and prevent them. If you feel like grooming: One side’s a razor; the other’s an electric trimmer. Grapeseed and jojoba oils soften hairs. (Use this on the pubic area—not your vulva!)…

My husband keeps asking me to try backdoor sex. I’ve told him I’m not interested, but then he gets mad and says I’m not willing to experiment. How do I get him to understand where I’m coming from? A_ For starters, be clear that you’re not playing hard to get by reminding him that everyone is entitled to their boundaries and nobody is entitled to get mad about them. Just as you understand he may not want you to touch his butt or flog him with a leather strap, he needs to respect that you simply don’t want to have anal sex. If he still insists, remind him that there’s nothing sexy about being coerced into doing something you don’t want to do. If you’re turned off by something, it…

It’s like my relationship should have a “sponsored by Bud Light” credit. I met my boyfriend at a bar, and for our first date, we went out for drinks. On the four dates after that, we always had a glass in hand. In fact, we may never have gotten together at all if it weren’t for alcohol—and I’m guessing you can relate. While booze has long played a role in many burgeoning romances, its presence now saturates every aspect of dating. Matchmaking apps and sites treat it like a personality type. “They ask if you drink and how often you drink,” says Laurie Davis Edwards, founder and CEO of eFlirt. “It’s become part of your profile.” And, like mine, so many couples’ first step offline is…into a bar. That’s the…

1 Do you feel disconnected from your body, as if you don’t have full ownership of it and the way you live in it? __YES __NO 2 Are you often worried that what you really want in life is not “feminine” enough? __YES __NO 3 Have you caught yourself changing your demeanor when you’re around men? __YES __NO If you answered mostly yes, you may be living with a critical internal voice that prevents you from owning your feminine energy. To boost self-acceptance, ask for help when you need it and share your knowledge when you don’t. If you answered mostly no, you are accessing your strengths and exuding them in a strong way. To keep at it, know that trying, failing, and trying again is the most effective way…

Ever feel like you spend half the month unhinged? One day your stress sitch is totally manageable; the next, you’re in a fetal position, convinced you’re gonna get fired and that your man is sneaking around. Eventually (say, a few days after your flow starts), you snap back to normal, legitimately questioning your sanity. For an estimated 7 million U.S. women, premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) wreaks havoc, says Tory Eisenlohr-Moul, PhD, associate director of translational research in the women’s mental health research program at the University of Illinois at Chicago. PMDD brings irritability, mood swings, and for many sufferers, extreme anxiety (which can manifest as excessive worry, an upset stomach, restlessness, or an inability to focus). A breakthrough study found that women with PMDD have differences in how certain genes…

Q+A With financial expert Bobbi Rebell, author of How to Be a Financial Grown-Up Everyone keeps talking about identity theft, and I literally have no idea if I should be worried. Could someone be trying to steal my money right now?! A_ It’s possible. That’s what we learned in September, when credit-report biz Equifax was hacked—and more than 145 million people’s personal details (social security numbers, financial records) may have landed in the hands of anonymous thieves. It was a wake-up call that our private info could be pilfered online. So think of your finances as a BFF who’s feeling vulnerable: She needs you right now, not after she spirals into a real crisis. First, find out if you’re in trouble by going to FreeCredit Report.com. Scan your report for red…

1 – Have a caffeine cutoff. It stays in your system for hours, making sleep tricky. Have your last cup no later than 2 p.m. and you might notice an improvement. 2 – Exercise earlier. Working out in the evening is fine—as long as you build in three hours for your body to calm down post-workout. 3 – Look out for liquids. When you sleep, your bladder can store more urine. If you get up to pee, that means you may be overhydrating. Try cutting out liquids a few hours before bed. 4 – Take a tech break. The blue light from your phone, tablet, and TV inhibits melatonin release (the hormone that regulates the sleep cycle). An hour before bed, turn your phone upside down (or move it to another…

Ask a man to explain his success and he’ll point to his skill and talent. Ask a woman and you’ll hear, “I couldn’t have done it without my team” or the phrase I am hereby banning from your vocabulary: “I got lucky.” Women’s wins are hardly ever about luck—we work twice as hard to be perceived as just as good—yet this phrase rolls off the female tongue. One reason is that women who selfpromote can come off as braggy. Allow me to introduce the boast bitch. She’s like a female hype man but for your professional achievements. She boasts to the boss about your genius idea; you gush about her amazing skill with clients. Neither of you ever has to crow about yourself…and you both come out looking like team…

WOKE MEN WE LOVE Justin Trudeau Canada’s prime minister is a self-described feminist— on and off the job—who has called for men to shut down the sexist conversations that can happen in bro culture. Justin Baldoni TheJane the Virgin actor is working on a new show that will help men talk out their feelings. As he wrote on Instagram, “The old toxic masculinity isn’t working.” The Fallopian Dudes Started in order to support the Women’s March, the group educates men to take a stand on female health issues. “I don’t want to be one more man who thinks the story is about him,” says cofounder Russell Brown.…

COVER Va Bien, vabienlingerie.com. Mugler, net-a-porter.com. David Yurman, davidyurman.com. Misbhv, misbhv.com.com. Fleur du Mal, fleurdumal.com. Messika Paris, messika.com. GET INTO IT PAGE 3: Derek Lam 10 Crosby, dereklam.com. Joanna Laura Constantine, joannalaura constantine.com. WINTER WHITE IS SO RIGHT…NOW PAGE 29: Ulla Johnson, ullajohnson.com. Laurence Dacade, available in black at bergdorfgoodman.com. Shrimps, shrimps.co.uk. Tory Burch, toryburch.com. Gianvito Rossi, gianvitorossi.com. Venessa Arizaga, venessaarizaga.com. THROW AN EPIC ’90S PARTY! PAGES 90 TO 91: Forever 21, forever21.com. J.O.A., lulus.com. Photo credits: Drink, Hot Pockets: Ben Goldstein/Studio D. Food Stylist: Ed Gabriels for Halley Resources. Spice Girls: Getty Images. Clueless: Courtesy Everett Collection. Glam credits, Hair: Rosibel using Oribe. Makeup: Taylor Fitzgerald. Manicure: Rachel Shim using Chanel Le Vernis. Model: Tammara Diaz/Wilhelmina. PINK PAGES 100 TO 101: I.Am.Gia., iamgia.com. Zac Zac Posen, zacposen.com. David Yurman,…

It’s January, and you know what that means? Yup—you’ve gotta plan to get some sh*t done this coming year. C’mon—it’s tradition! Whether you call them resolutions, goals, or just good intentions, there are strategies proven to keep you from flaking on your fitness routine or that vow to find a better job. We let you in on those success secrets in the kickoff piece of our new platform for 2018—Start Something. Turn to page 77 to get those pointers, then keep your eyes peeled for the rest of the series—it will move around the magazine from issue to issue because we want to motivate you to take steps forward in every area of life. As for me, I’m resolving to snowboard again, which isn’t as easy as it sounds. A…

Family Matters “Growing up, I was the one who my brothers turned to about relationships, even though I was younger. When it came to sex, I think I asked them for advice. Kevin was the romantic in the family. And I’d go to Joe for working on my game.” Clear Signals “I’ve been single for two and a half years now—and not for lack of trying to find a person I really connect with. When someone makes it clear that they’re interested and they want to meet up to have dinner or a drink, I think that’s really attractive.” Learning Curve “If I could go back [before losing my virginity], I would probably tell myself that it’s important to have patience. You’re not going to be a professional! You’re not…

“He was late to the bar, but I waited. He showed up and talked about himself the whole time. The bartender came over and asked if we wanted drinks, and the dude presented a Groupon voucher. Usually, I love discounts, but not on a first date. At the end, he took out a package from his bag. He unwrapped it and said, ‘They’re dates for our date.’ At this point, I told him I had a friend emergency. I thought he’d get the point, but the next day, he e-mailed me and said he had a voucher for a comedy show if I wanted to come. I told him I wasn’t interested.” —KAY A., 30 “An old boss of mine contacted me to ask me out. I thought it was…

Land your ideal job in polished attire (and profesh extras). Travel fantasies start the second you slip into carefree boho pieces. Searching for love? Dress the part of the shameless romantic in feminine standouts. Kick your health into high gear with energetic on-the-go essentials.…

Meet Your Silent Complexion Killer: Pollution Unlike other environmental aggressors (like UV and extreme temps) that can make their damaging effects immediately known via redness and burning, pollution is way sneakier. Particulate matter, microscopic bits of dirt, dust, and soot, and ground-level ozone (or smog) are small enough to get into pores and generate inflammation, says derm Shari Marchbein, MD. That can cause everything from hyperpigmentation to acne to fine lines as early as in your 20s. Urbanites aren’t the only ones at risk. “Farming and manufacturing industries in rural and suburban areas release pollutants from machinery, factories, and chemical plants,” says Diana Howard, PhD, VP of research and development at Dermalogica. Protect yourself in three steps. 1 Suds Up Every Night Pollution is yet another reason to wash your…

It was a cool, crisp night when producer Mackenzie L., 39, matched with a gorgeous guy on her dating app. After chatting, she met him for a stroll through the farmers’ market. They bonded over their shared love of beets and indie music and soon became inseparable: nights cooking, weekends at his parents’ cabin—they even took a trip to Hawaii. Eventually, the two married in a gorgeous outdoor ceremony. It was perfect, except for one small thing.... The love affair was all in Mackenzie’s head. That’s right. In reality, she had only exchanged a few messages with this match, who seemed to have decent dating potential. But that’s all it took for her to start painting a dreamy, Instaworthy feed of their future. Here’s how Mackenzie explains it: “The moment…

THE POSITIONS You–and-Eye-Gasm Mount him and lean all the way back until you’re bracing your arms on the ground. The Coffee Grind-her In this girl-on-girl pose, straddle just one of her legs so that your clitorises are aligned. Frisky Business Have him sit on a chair, then bind his wrists together with a silk tie. Face in his direction, and saddle up. Spanks-a-Lot As he sits up with his legs out, straddle him in reverse with your butt high, legs extended, and torso on his thighs. THE MOTIONS Bounce Use your legs to raise and lower your pelvis onto his penis. Swirl Swivel your hips in a circular motion to feel him all over your outside and inside parts. Rock Shift your hips forward and backward to rub your clitoris…

START SOMETHING! Going after big, new goals (like, say, running a marathon or learning to speak Spanish) may be desirable...but it’s also daunting . If you don’t feel like you’re crushing it from Day One, you’re more likely to give up altogether, says Anna Kress, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in Princeton, New Jersey. Plus, when given a large but vague target (think: be happier this year, get in shape), your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for goal-directed behavior—can’t tell which steps to prioritize and ends up being less effective in helping you achieve your goal. Your solve: micro-goals. Setting super-small, stupidly achievable objectives is the key to rocking your 2018 resolutions. Quickly making progress, even if it’s in baby steps, is more motivating than achieving something major, according…

Ask Dr. Ashton Q “Can wearing wet period panties all day give me a yeast infection?” A_ Yeast thrives in moist areas, so having anything wet near your lady parts for hours on end can lead to a flare-up. When you have your period, menstrual blood also changes the pH levels of your vagina and vulva, making you even more susceptible to an infection. That said, period underwear won’t create an issue in all women. For many, a little extra yeast in the vagina isn’t cause for concern. If, however, you are prone to the itchy condition, it’s best to avoid spending extra time in any type of soggy bottoms, be they period panties, wet bathing suits, or damp gym clothes. Q “What does a breast lump feel like?” A_ A marble,…

Mini Funfetti Layer Cake 1 box Funfetti cake mix1 12-oz. can buttercream frosting¼ c. rainbow sprinkles Make cake batter per box instructions. Bake in an 18- by 13-inch sheet pan. Once cool, use a 4-inch round mold to make 12 circular cake cutouts. Spread frosting on half the cutouts. Layer remaining 6 cake pieces on top and frost, leaving sides bare. Top with sprinkles. When ready to serve, cut each cake into 8 wedges.…

AT FIRST, THINGS WERE LOOKING WOKE LAST YEAR: Big companies like Salesforce and IBM took solid strides to correct their gender pay gaps and implement female-friendly paid-leave policies. Hard-charging women (yasss, Shonda Rhimes and Spanx founder Sara Blakely!) had seemingly cleared a path for others to reach the top. But then came story after story of outlandish male workplace misbehavior and criminal acts. And an October social-media phenomenon—in which millions of women shared sexual-harassment stories under the hashtag #MeToo—proved ass grabbing (and worse) isn’t just happening in Hollywood or Washington or Silicon Valley. But the explosive headlines mask another truth: Gender discrimination at work is more pervasive than bathrobes and back rubs. It also thrives via soft sexism—when, say, a male boss suggests you’re PMSing when you disagree with him…

Yvonne Orji ACTRESS, INSECURE “I’ve been a stand-up comedian for more than 10 years, and there’s this thing where female comics can’t be black, pretty, and funny—it’s like you gotta pick one of the three. I’d show up to the comedy club in heels, and guys would be like, ‘Oh, are you doing spoken word?’ Only after I got off the stage were they like, ‘Oh, you funny.’ Meanwhile, male comics can be the third dude to talk about masturbation and still be accepted. I think that’s what formed my work ethic. I’ve found that when you’re really good, it silences the foolishness.” Jenn Hyman COFOUNDER AND CEO, RENT THE RUNWAY “I was in my 20s, and I’d just executed a major deal. An older guy at my company walked…

Know Your Rights “Every employer should provide a handbook of HR policies and procedures,” says Churches. Read it to learn how your company defines harassment. Consider Going to the Source “If the person is someone you know well enough to give feedback to directly, that can be a good first step,” says Ciara Lakhani, vice president of people at Dashlane, a password-manager app. Some guys may be completely shocked to hear they’re discriminating and move to correct their behavior, but others could get offended and angry. In which case… Make Your Report And beware: “HR has an obligation to protect the employeesand the company, so we follow a pretty structured process,” explains Lakhani. “Generally, that means needing to hear both sides of the story.” Before you get your boss dragged…

1.The last time you bailed on plans with a bestie was: _A When she waited until noon to text you HBD instead of sending one right at midnight. _B Saturday Spin, but only ’cause she was too hungover to show last time. Now you’re even. _C During a bout of strep. Otherwise, if it’s not contagious, you’ll hang through pain. 2.Ever been a bridesmaid? _A You’ve been asked but never make it all the way to the altar. Any drama and you’re out—for good. _B Only for those you want in your own party. When the day comes, they’ll be obligated to wear whatever pastel shade you choose. _C Bridesmaid? Child’s play. You arealways the maid of honor. 3.A BFF leaks your secret she swore she’d take all the way…

1 Yara Shahidi plays a college freshman in the irresistible Black-ish spin-off Grown-ish. Oh, and btw, we totes want to be her when we grow up (January 3, Freeform). 2 No matter your politics, it’s been almost a year since the Women’s March. Time to relight your civic fire with a set of Act Now! protest postcards ($19, chroniclebooks.com). 3 Dior’s Diorskin Forever Undercover Foundation comes in 24 shades and lasts 24 hours. So basically, it’s got you a hundred percent covered ($52, dior.com). 4 Lusting after someone’s career? Woo them with Bumble Bizz, Bumble’s new networking feature. 5 Drop what you’re reading. A.J. Finn’s The Woman in the Window has a hint of Rear Window, a bit of The Girl on the Train, and raves from Gone Girl’s Gillian…

You don’t have to look hard to find negativity in the world (in fact, these days, it seems easier than ever). But as someone who’s had more than a few dark moments in her own life, one of the things I’ve learned is how to get through seriously tough shit…and make it out the other end, smiling. I grew up in South Central Los Angeles, with a mother who was mentally unstable and often violent. I was in foster care and homeless at times, and later, I escaped an abusive marriage. When I think about a lot of what I’ve been through, it still hurts. But I have a philosophy I apply to everything I do in life: Most of the time, I’m just trying to have fun. Humor has…

Pick Your Shape Ask for wispy ones that are shorter in the middle and longer from the arch of your eyebrows out. “It’s the most universally flattering, easiest-to- maintain style,” says Anh Co Tran, stylist and co-owner of Ramirez Tran Salon in Beverly Hills. The thick, blunt kind, on the other hand, requires a trim every two weeks. On that note... Trim Them Yourself It’s all fun and games until you can’t see. In a pinch, comb the area between both brow arches straight, then sandwich hair ends between your fingers (ideally, where you want the new style to stop). Holding sharp scissors vertically (brow-shaping ones work well), cut up into your bangs, making small snips from side to side. “Leave your longer, outer pieces to a pro—they’re tricky,” says…

When I was younger, I bought into the stigma that pubic hair was gross—that if I didn’t remove it, guys would perceive me as unclean, smelly, even lazy. So I did. As I embraced feminism, I started thinking about all the ways we feel pressured to please men—like waxing or shaving our pubic hair, despite the expense and high-maintenance labor of it all. Sometimes doing so causes bumps and cuts, which, ironically, can turn guys off…and make us feel less confident. All for something that is naturally occurring! So I decided to bring back the bush. About That Pic… Last June, I posted this photo (without the concealing emoji) on Instagram and Twitter to promote the Amber Rose SlutWalk: a nonprofit event in L.A. that takes a stand against victim…

My partner and I are thinking about making a sex tape. Bad idea? A_ It’s smart to be cautious. According to a 2017 survey, 45 percent of men and 16 percent of women ages 18 to 34 have shared a sexy photo without the subject’s permission…and that can happen with videos as well. “Creating a sex tape can be erotic and hot, but you want to be mindful of the fact that one of you could potentially make it public if you fight or break up,” says sex and relationships therapist Megan Fleming, PhD. Maybe just film a steamy make-out when you’re clothed. Or if you’re cool being nude, only film yourselves from the waist up, then delete it after watching. Is it at all possible to hook up with…

Dudes and Dollars According to a recent survey from financial-planning platform LearnVest, men think a lot about romance in the context of dollars and cents. Here, what they bank on. 53% would rather be single forever than have a spouse who is financially irresponsible. 45% are more likely to talk about their financial habits (how they spend, save, invest, etc.) with friends than with a significant other. 22% have hidden at least three purchases from a partner in the past year. A Super-Polished and Pristine Abode Congrats! He’s adulting, and it’s likely the rest of his life is in order too. But if he makes you feel anxious in his spotless place, he may be too hung up on appearances. Nostalgic Keepsakes Everywhere Given his glory-days shrine, his focus may…

66 percent of men think there aren’t enough adult products designed for dudes. 8 out of 10 guys have tried a sex toy and like to experiment with making solo sex more pleasurable. 55 million The number of male playthings Tenga has shipped worldwide since June 2017. As if they needed yet another helping hand to masturbate, men now have more ways to score solo Os. Namely, a slew of new sex toys. From penis-suction sheaths to shaft vibrators, dude playthings are crowding—and flying off—store shelves. In 2016 alone, adult novelty shop Babeland reported a 68 percent spike in sales of the items, and that number has only continued to rise (no pun intended). “In our surveys, we’ve seen a growing openness to discussion around, and acceptance of, masturbation by…

Both women and men have temperaments—or energies, if you will—that are biologically and culturally determined. For so long, society has dictated that feminine energy is tender, receptive, and submissive, while masculine energy is strong, striving, and aggressive. But I’m a critic of these traditional definitions. At this point, they are retrograde—and not in a good way. To me, it’s time for men and women to be more whole: That means for women to be pleasing and kind and also to find their voice and be powerful, confident, and decisive. For guys, whole means being strong and also soft and vulnerable with a beautiful ability to tap into their emotions and connections. But because our society has made these characteristics so gender-specific, we are locked into “masculine” versus “feminine” relationship roles,…

Grab a buddy and earn a tighter, shapelier booty with this move from fitness pros—and friends—LIZ CHESTANG (@GoSunnyGo) and JEN RUFO (@JenRufo). Stand back-to-back with your feet hipwidth apart, arms in front of your chests, and shoulder blades pressing against each other’s. Lean into each other, and take baby steps forward until your toes are 1 to 2 feet in front of you. Lower your bodies at the same time until your knees are bent at a 90-degree angle. (Beginners can start with 45 degrees.) Squeeze your butt muscles, and return to standing. That’s 1 rep. Do up to 5 sets of 8 reps, 2 or 3 times per week. LIZ’S AND JEN’S EXERCISE INSPO FIT PHILOSOPHY “Working out with someone always makes me go a little bit harder.” —Jen…

Eating After 10 P.M. Totes Fine It’s never a smart idea. Research suggests that near-midnight munchies may cause your body to store even good-for-you calories as fat, since your digestive system is already in sleep mode. Perhaps more worrying, late-evening eats can wreak havoc on your belly’s all-important microbiome. “We know that gut bacteria affect everything from your immune system to your odds of getting diabetes, heart disease, even cancer,” says anesthesiologist Christine Gerbstadt, MD, RD, author of the Doctor’s Detox Diet. (So let these bacteria get their zzz’s…or they may turn on you.) Since every person’s body is different, there’s no universal food last-call time. In general, the earlier you stop eating, the better. Try to cut yourself off at least one hour before you hit the sack. If…

The key to lovin’ your life lies in something surprising: an energizing mental reset you can do in three steps. Get ready to rock your 9-to-5. 1 Amp Your EQ There’s IQ, then there’s EQ, or emotional intelligence, aka the way you recognize, understand, and handle your feelings and those of the people around you. It not only helps you manage your own behavior more effectively but also aids you in dealing with heightened emotions from colleagues. Research shows that a high EQ can lead to better job satisfaction and performance. It forges more positive relationships, whether you’re running a big team or fetching coffee. Having a stellar EQ also means being constructive, trustworthy, compassionate, and focused—all qualities anyone would want in a totally competent coworker, says Angela Bradley, a…

THE GROWN-UP ONESIE A feel-good jumpsuit has endless potential. Layer it over a longsleeve top or rock it solo. THE STANDOUT WHITE TEE Sexy corset details give your go-to T-shirt a little more oomph. THE BLANKET COAT The ultimate travel companion, a vibrant cocoon style elevates your look but feels like you never left bed. THE VERTICAL-STRIPE SWEATER Flipped longways, this traditional wardrobe staple cops an offbeat attitude. BEAUTY TIP Keep easy, breezy waves in place with a shot of Tresemmé Compressed Micro-Mist Hair Spray Hold Level 1: Texture, $5. THE DENIM TRENCH Feel just the right amount of rebellious in a jean version of the preppy essential. Distressing adds extra badassery. THE CARAMEL MOTO Find black biker jackets too hard-core? Brown studded styles lend a softer edge and still…

A MIDNIGHT SNACK These gummies not only quiet your mind (thanks to a green tea–derived amino acid and chamomile) but they also promote sleep with melatonin. AN AROMATHERAPY WASH Suds up with this blend of cactus flower, sweet mint, and floral lavender (a proven snooze-enhancer). A SNOOZE SPRAY Mist this calming floral fragrance over your pillows and breathe. Bonus: The bottle looks beyond chic on your nightstand. A WARMING EYE MASK Tear open one of the packets, and feel the single-use treatment inside heat up. Pop it on for 10 minutes to soothe tired eyes. A CALMING CRYSTAL Stash a few stones, such as amethyst, moonstone, or clear quartz, under your pillow to help you relax, says Heather Askinosie, coauthor of Crystal Muse. A SOOTHING SOAK Add a couple of…

When a guy patronizingly tells you something you already know, he’s probably doing it. Immortalized last year on SNL by two dudes stepping in front of Lorde to sing her song for her, mansplaining keeps women down by undermining their credibility in the workplace. But sometimes, a guy (e.g., your boss) is just giving you helpful constructive feedback, says Tiffany Dufu, author of Drop the Ball. Here, Dufu shares how to know when you’re being talked down to—and when you’re just being talked to. 1 When he’s explaining something you obviously know more about than he does… He’s mansplaining: If you’re the social-media manager and he’s ignorantly critiquing your hashtags. He’s just talking: If he mentions another expert, like a researcher he read about or his friend who runs a…

1. A new guy in your office restates an idea your coworker Erica had last week, and now everyone thinks he’s brilliant. You: _A Mention to your boss that Erica should take the lead, since she had the original idea. _B Vent about his bad behavior in private to a peer. You don’t want to seem catty. 2. You overhear three dudes from sales mocking your female boss’s supposed plastic surgery. You: _A Shut it down. Who cares what she looks like? She’s a baller who just gave you all holiday bonuses. _B Join in. Her face is so tight, it’s tragic. 3. At your weekly team meeting, guys speak roughly 96 percent of the time. You: _A Point this out to your work husband, and suggest he silence the…